Luckily, a few rooms had been set aside for Squad Levi, courtesy of the Wall Garrison. They were for if anyone wished to take a quick nap—real sleep wouldn't be possible since there was only one hour to rest—or take a quick bath, or simply just spend time to oneself.
Yavena was quick to jump on the opportunity to clean up, seeing as she was still covered in blood: both her own and that Caven woman's. It was meshed in parts of her hair, too, which she knew was going to be absolute hell to deal with.
After snooping around for a bit, Yavena was able to locate some soap and a bucket full of lukewarm water, which was better than cold water. She holed herself up in one of the rooms for free use and began the long and painful process of washing the solidified crimson out of her hair, face, and clothes.
Yavena was grateful that she'd taken up Levi's habit of carrying handkerchiefs with her everywhere she went. She went through three handkerchiefs simply getting Caven's blood off of her face; she hadn't even started on her hair yet. Luckily, the process was made significantly easier than it would've been in Scout Regiment headquarters based on the presence of a looking-glass. Its appearance was something that surprised her immensely even though she knew it shouldn't, seeing as they were within Wall Sina.
It was the first time that Yavena had been able to clearly look at herself in years: not through a window-pane or a body of water's reflection, but a clear, crystalline picture. She carefully maneuvered the looking-glass in front of the stone basin that she was washing herself in, her dark eyes glued to her face the entire time.
The tinge of red slowly washed away from her skin and hairline and then, after lots of pain, tugging, and cursing, her hair.
Right as Yavena removed her green shirt with the intent of washing it out, there was a knock at the door. Hange's voice was saying, "Yavena, can I come in?"
Even though her midsection was exposed, she figured that Hange had seen her undressed enough times that it didn't matter. "Sure, Hange. The door's unlocked."
The door creaked open, and in walked Hange holding two cups of green tea. They kicked the door shut behind them as they said, "I brought you something to drink! I think most of your squad members actually fell asleep. It's… been a long day, eh?"
"Aye. That it has," said Yavena. She was not surprised by the fact that her friends had fallen unconscious, and she could not blame them. The only reason she herself wasn't planning on taking a nap was because she knew she'd be exorbitantly grumpy upon waking up only a short hour later.
Hange handed Yavena her cup of tea before flopping onto one of the plushy chairs in the room. Like the ones that had been in the west wing, these chairs were covered in cushions… not exactly Yavena's style. But Hange didn't seem to mind as a grin cracked over their face. "This is comfy!"
Yavena smiled from above her cup. "Too comfy, if you ask me. I'm ready for things to be back to normal again."
"Aren't we all."
A light chuckle escaped Yavena's lips. She turned back to the looking-glass—and froze.
Waiting for her was her face, yes… and so was her body, with all of the scars that she had received over the years. Her eyes scanned, transfixed, across every flaw, every mark, every blemish, from battles of years ago and battles more recent. Yavena knew that there were even more hiding underneath the bandages that the medical officer had just placed across her side only an hour ago…
It was a tough pill to swallow. Even though Yavena prided herself on her combat skills, on the things she had done in the name of humankind… accepting that these marks were the price to pay was not yet something she'd done.
"Yavena?"
Hange's voice was concerned; Yavena knew without knowing that their brow was creased in that endearing little way of theirs. She used to tease Hange about it, calling them cute—for some reason, Hange had always hated being called 'cute,' even though they had no good reason for it.
"I just don't like it," Hange would say with a frown. "It's a weird word. 'Cute.' It sounds wrong."
They rose from their seat and walked over to where Yavena was standing, following her gaze into the looking-glass. Quiet, Hange said, "Ah. I see."
"There aren't many looking-glasses in headquarters, huh," Yavena said, more as a statement than a question.
Hange did not miss the gloom that had overtaken her voice. Instead of saying anything, they set down their cup of tea upon one of the nearby tables and began unbuttoning their white shirt as best as they were able to while one arm was in a sling.
Yavena could only stare, confused, as her friend shrugged off their shirt. When it was gone, she noted that Hange's body carried the same scars; not the exact same, of course, but many similar ones. Thin white lines, splotches, places where their skin was jagged and not smooth.
"It's the price we pay," Hange said with a light shrug. They began to button up their shirt again. "That doesn't mean we're damaged."
A small smile etched onto Yavena's face. For some reason, these words meant a lot more to her than any words along the lines of she was still beautiful, or the scars meant she was strong, or anything like that.
This was just how she was now. And that was fine.
Yavena remembered how, back in the warehouse within Trost District, her young friends were stunned by the marks she carried. But then there had been Levi, who hadn't made a single comment about them, who had barely even looked at them.
He had known that was just part of what she was… and that it was okay. It didn't need addressing.
"Thanks, Hange," she said with a smile. Yavena turned away from the looking-glass and knelt back beside the stone basin, doing everything she could to ferociously scrub the red stains off of her olive green shirt.
It didn't seem as though she would be able to purify her shirt completely—there was still a faintly brown patch where her blood had been caked in—but it was enough. Yavena redressed herself, grateful that she'd had the foresight to not dunk the entire shirt in the water. It was going to be cold as hell for a while… or at least until she was in the near vicinity of the Giga-Titan.
And then it was time to meet with the others in the main hall. Yavena restrained a sigh and looked towards Hange, who merely lifted their eyebrows and rose to their feet from the so-called comfy chair. They wordlessly left the room and walked through the hallways, ignoring the startled looks and whispers from some of the Wall Garrison soldiers still within the Regiment Branch.
Erwin was already in the main hall, as were Levi and Eren. Upon seeing them approach, Erwin stepped forward and asked, "Hange. Is your arm broken?"
"I think it's sprained," said Hange, glaring with distaste at the arm in question. "But it's better than broken."
"I see. Yavena, you're able to wield omni-directional gear, yes?"
Yavena nodded. "Aye, Commander."
"Good. We'll need every soldier possible outfitted for the moment where the Titan's nape is blown away," said Erwin, lowering his chin a fraction of a degree. He looked at Yavena with his usual great intensity. "You'll be capable of assisting with that, I assume."
Now she smiled, amused by the fact that Erwin was even bothering to ask her this question. She knew that he knew what she would say. "Of course, Erwin. I'll grab my gear from the courtyard on our way out."
While Erwin seemed placated by her words, Yavena could not help noticing the slightest of scowls cross Levi's mouth.
The others of Squad Levi arrived within the following two minutes. Sasha, Conny, and Jean had dark circles under their eyes and lines upon their faces, having clearly not gotten enough sleep. Historia approached with squared shoulders and great resolve in her short stature. Armin and Mikasa both walked to Eren's side and stood doggedly by him.
By the time they had reached the top of the ramparts, the sun was rising. The view of the sunrise, however, was blocked entirely by the blinding cloud of smoke and ash that was emanating from the Giga-Titan's body. There was still an estimated hour more before it approached the Wall itself, but there was no escaping the fact that it was huge, and that it would only appear huger as time went on.
Members of the Wall Garrison were horrified as they looked upon the Titan. While Yavena felt similar emotions, she could not let them show. These soldiers were constantly looking towards those of the Scout Regiment, as though Erwin and all who followed him were their safety.
"Maybe we can snuff out the heat of the big ass by having all of these soldiers piss on it," muttered Levi, who was standing next to Yavena as she strapped on her gear. "Surely they can hold out on wetting their pants until it gets here."
She grinned and tightened the belts around her thighs. "I think we'd need more soldiers of the Wall Garrison for that. With as many men as there are right now, we'd only extinguish the fires around its head."
"True. It's not too late to get the Military Police up here…"
Yavena snickered and looked across the top of the Wall. Many dozens of cannons had been prepared, with tons of boxes of ammunition beside them. Were it any other Titan in the world, it would likely have been enough to blow them to absolute smithereens… unfortunately, that wasn't the case.
Despite the grimness of the situation, Yavena found herself remembering the last time she'd been surrounded by cannons, with Titans crawling up to the Wall.
"Levi," she said, facing him with a careful neutrality. "Remember when we were atop Wall Rose, and you were firing cannonballs into those Titans at Trost District?"
He glanced at her from the corner of his eye. "Aye. Why?"
She smiled. "No reason. I just wanted to know if you remembered."
There was no verbal response, but Levi did place a hand upon her shoulder before glaring back out at the approaching enemy.
"Prepare to launch our attack upon the Titan!" bellowed the Captain of the Wall Garrison, the same one that had been present in the strategy meeting. "On my mark!"
He raised a hand towards the sky. Here at last, while facing the threat head-on, there was strength in his stance; the determination that one needed to be a true leader. It was better late than never.
"FIRE!"
Each cannon atop the Wall let off a huge blast. The sound altogether forced Yavena to cover her ears with her hands, though she kept her eyes forward upon the approaching Titan. Some of the cannonballs caused muscled ripples to form across its skin, lodging into its body. Only a fraction of these cannons actually managed to hit their mark, the nape of its neck. Even thicker clouds of smoke reached up towards the sky: that of the Titan and of the explosions. Vision of the Titan was completely blocked despite its gargantuan size.
The rumbling of the ground had stopped. No reddish, monstrous hand was appearing from the cloud…
"Well?" murmured Erwin, blue eyes blazing. "How was that, then?"
All was silence; a startling change from the prior cacophony.
And then the hand reappeared. The ground was shaking once again—Rod Reiss's Titan was once more on the move.
"FIRE!" shouted the Wall Garrison's Captain once again.
The cannons upon the ground in front of the Wall were launched on their officer's command. These ones were not even close to hitting the nape of its neck, nor did they illicit a reaction from the Giga-Titan the way that the wall-mounted cannons had.
Erwin frowned. "The ground cannons seem even less effective."
"Of course they are," Levi said. "The wall cannons barely hit the nape, even with the better angle. What's the problem here?"
"It's a mishmash of soldiers, and cannons they scraped together. Superficial leadership doesn't help, and to top it off, this is a northern region. Unlike troops on the front lines, they have no battle experience," said Erwin, just loud enough for Levi and Yavena to hear. "However, this is the best we're going to get, and that's a fact."
"Tch. That much is painfully obvious." Levi glared at Erwin from the corner of his eye. "Yet again, your strategy for the Scouts boils down to a gamble. Just like everything else you conjure up."
Before Erwin could say anything in response, Hange's sing-song voice echoed from further down the ramparts. "Erwin, I found the goodies from the Wall Garrison! All the gunpowder, ropes, and netting they could find! We'll have to assemble it ourselves, though. So, is the artillery doing any damage?"
"Slightly more than a pissing insect," said Levi with a heavy scowl.
Hange sighed and ran a hand through their dark hair. "Then we're really planning on using this?"
"Levi, Jean, Sasha, Conny, Historia. Take care of the other side," said Erwin, indirectly answering Hange's question.
All five of them nodded and hustled off to follow his orders. Yavena watched them go for only a moment before darting towards the barrels of gunpowder and the netting so she too might get to work.
Hange, Mikasa, Eren, and Armin were assisting her on the right side of the ramparts. Seeing as Yavena was apparently not allowed to carry the barrels—while she was perfectly fine with doing so, both Eren and Hange were stoutly saying no—she found herself tying together the nets and bags of oil.
"Try to imagine we're wrapping up a nice gift for someone special!" said Hange, that familiar brightness to their face, the one they wore whenever they were thinking about Titans.
Yavena continued to do her best to prepare the netting. The ropes were thick and coarse, but sheer determination managed to see her past any potential rope burn. She knew that this was the last resort; and if Erwin's plan didn't work, if one facet of the details were wrong… then it was likely this big-ass Titan would plow through the Wall and begin a devastating havoc on Mitras.
From somewhere close by, Eren's voice muttered, "I can't believe they're stuck with me for a trump card…"
She blinked and glanced over to see that her friend was gazing out into the city below. Orvud District was quiet. Calm. It didn't seem that the people had gathered how much danger they were truly in—while that was a good thing, it also astounded Yavena.
Danger and death were right on their doorstep, and yet they didn't have the faintest inkling about it. But even as she thought about it, as she truly thought about it… it had been that way for the past one hundred years. Titans had been lurking outside the Walls, and soldiers like herself and Hange and Levi and Erwin had been doing everything they could to keep that danger and death at bay.
None of those citizens had any idea: the sacrifice, the loss, the terror.
Not until Shiganshina had been destroyed, anyway.
Yavena sighed and continued to tie up the ropes, although she heard Eren say, "Oye, Armin. The kids in this city… they remind me of us on that day."
Armin deposited another barrel upon the stack; he knelt beside Yavena and began helping her tie the nets together, though his eyes were on Eren as he said, "Aye. Nobody thinks today is the day a Titan bigger than the Wall attacks. They might end up seeing the same sight as we did that day. But there's a big difference: atop the Walls, soldiers stand ready to face that Titan. That would be us."
His words made a slow smile creep across Yavena's face. Her dark eyes trailed over to him… she was not surprised to see that Armin was doing the same, reflecting that same smile.
He was doing his best to keep that bravado, the one that Yavena had once praised him for, had reminded him of. She reached out and ruffled his blond hair before returning to her duties.
The next minute that passed was almost peaceful. With Yavena and Armin together, the giant sack of gunpowder and oil was almost completely tied up and ready to go, for Eren to utilize in his Titan form. Somewhere behind them, Hange was happily encouraging Mikasa with the words, "Stack it up on the edge! Perfect!"
Mikasa finished hauling the last barrel into its place, forming an aesthetically pleasing cube of barrels, now that things were all said and done. She glanced over to Yavena and Armin and nodded before frowning. "Eren, there's no time to stop. Keep your hands busy."
There was a look upon Eren's face… it was one that he had worn before, but never with such great force. Disappointment, anger, frustration, guilt: and if Yavena knew Eren at all, all of those things were directed to himself.
Eren punched himself in the face.
Both Mikasa and Yavena gasped at the suddenness of the gesture—Mikasa threw herself forward, scrabbling for his wrists while crying, "Eren!"
"What are you doing!" gasped Armin.
Eren punched himself twice more before Mikasa was able to stop him from harming himself. A thin trail of blood seeped out of his nose. He grit his teeth.
"Are you making a wound?" Armin asked. "It's too early for that!"
"No. Just beating the shit out of a useless brat. I hope he's dead and gone for good," muttered Eren, full of malcontent.
His friends exchanged worried looks. Mikasa kept a tight grip upon both of Eren's wrists, afraid that if she let go, then he would continue on his rampage of self-destructive behavior.
Yavena studied him closely, pausing in tying the knots of the net. She had been privy to how deeply his own emotions affected him in the past. She'd seen his rage and anger both spur him on and hinder him, how his guilt weighed upon his shoulders as surely as the burden of being the only human-Titan did. And she had done her best to comfort him… to let him know that he was not alone, that the loss and devastation the Scout Regiment had been dealt were not his fault no matter how much he thought it was, and that he did not have to deal with all of these things on his own.
But it was here, looking at the purely defeated look upon his face—not sad, not angry, just defeated—that Yavena knew.
She could spend a lifetime trying to help him and not have any effect.
Whatever Eren needed to lift himself up, to absorb the message that Yavena had done her best to relay over the course of the last few months… he needed to find it himself. Only then would he understand.
"Mikasa," she said. "Let him go."
"But—"
"Please."
Mikasa stared at her. A storm raged through her dark eyes; it did not take a thorough investigation to see that she was considering disobeying Yavena's request. But it seemed this simple 'please' had changed her mind. She sighed and released Eren's wrists.
Now that he was free, Yavena withheld Eren's gaze and did not look away. "Eren," she said. "You know what it is I would say. But I will not say it, because my words—or Armin's words, or Mikasa's words—would not have any effect."
Eren stared at her, uncaring of the fact that blood was still trailing down his nose, or of the purple welt that was forming across his cheek.
Yavena continued to look at him, unblinking. Somewhere beyond all of that pain and uncertainty, beyond all of the terror and loss that he'd experienced, there was still a fifteen-year old boy. "I wish I could help you feel better. I wish the three of us could convince you that you were never useless. That without you, I would be dead. We would all be dead. But I know no matter how hard we try, no matter how badly we want you to understand how we see you, that our sentiments will not sink in. And so, Eren… until you find whatever it is that will help you, that will prevent you from falling into this self-destructive cycle… until you find that, just remember what needs to be done. Don't lose yourself: do what we need you to do. Got it?"
She was met with a stunned silence from all three of them. A pair of black eyes, of blue eyes, of turquoise eyes were all upon her face, but Yavena did not quail. She simply kept her gaze steady upon Eren, someone who she would call one of her greatest friends, and waited for his response.
He swallowed hard before answering, "Aye. I'll do what needs to be done. Always."
That was a promise, and a convincing one at that. Yavena smiled. "Good. I remember when I first laid eyes on you, Eren. Even in that dank cell, I saw something: a fire unlike any other I've ever seen. I would expect nothing less from you."
Yavena did not wait to hear what Eren would have to say. She turned away from him, from all three of them, and began to make the finishing touches on the package of gunpowder and oil.
Within the next three minutes, Rod Reiss's Titan was at the Wall. The Captain of the Wall Garrison was nearly screaming his head off, shouting at all of his forces to fire their cannons at will. The air was full of explosions and screaming.
A veil of steam burst from below the Wall, showering all of the soldiers manning the cannons with a nearly unbearable heat. Still, however, they continued firing their artillery, even though they were unable to aim, even though they could barely even see or reload their weapons.
Slowly but surely, a ginormous hand rose towards the sky, stretching onward and onward as though it could touch the very sun. As soon as Yavena thought it could no longer ascend, the hand started falling back down—it slammed atop the trellis of Wall Sina, making a number of soldiers stumble or fall to their knees by the impact. Pieces of stone cracked and fell off of the Wall, which collapsed towards the city below and even destroyed a few rooftops of some of the nearest houses.
Then the Titan stood up. It was easily at least twice as tall as the Wall, over one hundred meters in total or perhaps even more. Due to the fact that it had scraped its way all the way to Orvud District, the front of its face and body was nonexistent. Its innards could be seen; Yavena gasped as its large, repulsive guts began to fall out of its own body and then collapse on the top of the Wall.
A spine-chilling roar filled the air. Now the citizens of Orvud District seemed to grasp the severity of the situation: screams echoed from below, and crowds upon crowds of people flocked towards the inner gate leading into Mitras, desperate for escape.
The soldiers of the Wall Garrison were no different. They too were screaming, beginning to retreat—their Captain was standing shock-still, unable to move, his limbs quivering.
That was when Levi walked forward and clapped a hand on the man's shoulder. "Stand back, Captain," he said, silver eyes pinned on the Giga-Titan. "We'll take over from here."
Scout Regiment soldiers wheeled buckets of water over to Squad Levi, as the air was unbearably hot and dry—Yavena walked forward, joining Levi and Mikasa in dumping a bucket of water over her head. She was grateful for how cool it was; it would be enough for what they had to do next.
As she returned to where Eren and Armin were standing, she heard Armin cry, "Eren, we're up!"
Eren nodded and stretched his arms. Light was back in his eyes; the spark of determination that Yavena had praised him for. A grim smile was on his face as he said, "Right. And Armin… there's another thing different from then. It might not be all they hoped for, but humanity has an ace up its sleeve."
He looked towards Yavena and shot her a curt nod, one that she was happy to return. While she would never say it out loud, she much preferred this Eren, the one that she'd first met, to the defeated Eren she'd rescued from Rod Reiss's chapel.
A sudden crack filled the air; a red smoke signal from Commander Erwin. As soon as it was seen, Hange and Armin released two barrels full of gunpowder with spikes in the tips—they roared forth along the length of the Wall before inserting themselves in the Giga-Titan's skin and blowing up its hands.
Another roar filled the sky; the Titan began stumbling.
"Yes!" cried Armin, triumphant. "It's losing its balance!"
Everyone stared, transfixed, as the Titan began to fall forward, unable to support its own weight without its hands holding itself up. It took a number of seconds, all of which Yavena held her breath for, but at last its face hit the Wall.
"EREN!" bellowed Commander Erwin.
A flash of yellow-orange light bathed the Wall. Standing next to Armin and Yavena was Eren's Titan; he grabbed the sack of barrels filled to the brim with gunpowder and began racing forth, towards the giant Titan.
Its face turned towards him as Eren approached and roared again: the perfect opportunity to throw the Scout Regiment's present into its throat.
With a roar of his own, Eren chucked the entire package inside its gaping mouth—fire and ash burst into the air once again. Each barrel exploded. Pieces of the Titan's nape went flying in all directions, leaving its body completely and utterly headless.
"All troops! Use omni-directional gear to finish it off!" bellowed Erwin.
Every member of the Scout Regiment able to do so leapt off of the Wall, soaring through the air alongside the pieces of the Titan's nape. Yavena was no exception—she thrust her blades through one, two, three, four, five chunks of the Titan's skin, but none of them had effect. Out of the corner of her eye, she could see Levi take out a dozen in only a few seconds: still nothing.
Jean was cursing to her left. Conny and Sasha were double-teaming their efforts. Yavena continued sawing, hoping that one of them was the right one…
A tangle of blonde hair whished past her, drawing her attentions. It was Historia; she was headed directly for a piece of its skin, one that was still sizzling from the explosion. With pin-point precision, she swept her blades through it.
Another blast of fire separated Historia from Yavena; in fact, Yavena only barely managed to escape its breadth. Spluttering, she lodged the cables of her gear into the side of the Wall.
The giant Titan was no longer moving. Its body was limp against the top of the Wall—but even as Yavena watched, it began to fall just outside of Orvud District's territory. A shuddering THUD signaled that it had hit the ground… that it was officially dead.
Yavena took a deep breath before returning to the top of the Wall. She was greeted by Erwin, who held out his left hand and helped her up.
"Good job, Captain," he said. There was the rare but ever so rewarding smile upon his face. "The plan worked."
A dry grin was directed back to him. "It sure did. I'll confess I had my doubts, though. There were quite a few gambles with this particular plan, after all."
Erwin chuckled, not offended by her apparent lack of faith. He merely glanced down to the streets below and said, "I suppose that is only fair. I had my doubts about her plan, as it were. But it seems that everything played out as well as we could've possibly hoped for, in the end."
Yavena followed where he was gesturing and saw Historia had been knocked into one of the streets due to the power of the final blast. She was surrounded by townspeople, all of whom were revering her as though she were a goddess.
"She struck the final blow," Yavena heard herself say. "I saw it myself."
"Yes, so she did. Just as she had hoped for."
She glanced back to Erwin with this last, an eyebrow raised. "I assume this is because Historia did not believe that the people would follow her reign without a good enough reason?"
"Correct," he said, though no change of expression came over his face.
Yavena chuckled, knowing that even if he did not acknowledge it, that he was ever so slightly sour about having been proved wrong. Deciding to test her luck, she replied, "Just as Hange speculated, too. I think you owe them a beer, Erwin."
He chuckled at that. "Perhaps I do."
Although the air was growing hot once again, Yavena did not have any inclination to return to the city below. It was still the onset of winter, after all, and she hated the cold. When she turned around to look at the Titan's carcass on the other side of the Wall, she was shocked to note that even lying down, it was nearly as tall as the top of the Wall itself.
"That really is one big-ass Titan," she muttered under her breath.
Mechanical whirring broke the stillness of the air, and then Levi's voice was saying, "It took you this long to notice?"
Yavena sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yes, because apparently I'm blind. You'll have to get me some glasses."
"One Four-Eyes is enough."
She smirked somewhat, figuring that he was probably right. Yavena would have no idea what to do if there were two Hanges.
"Levi," said Erwin, walking back over to his two Captains. "There's a favor I must ask of you."
Levi regarded the Commander coolly. "What is it?"
"I need you and a few other soldiers to inspect the remains of the Reiss chapel for any further information regarding the Founding Titan. Hange has given me a full report on the situation. We need to know what else Eren might be capable of, and there may be survivors from the Anti-Personnel Squad that need to be dealt with."
"I'll take care of it," said Levi. This was enough to satisfy the Commander, but Yavena could not help noticing that there was something lurking underneath the surface of his face.
Only once Erwin had gone did she speak. "You're worried about something."
Levi glanced at her sideways, though he did not seem surprised that she had picked up on this. "I think Kenny's still alive."
"How could he be?" she said, her eyebrows lifted. "He'd been cut badly, and he surely must have sustained some terrible burns even if he escaped Rod Reiss's transformation."
He turned away, looking outside the Walls. Disregarding the canyon that the Giga-Titan had created, the world seemed peaceful. Serene, even. It was not so deep into the winter season that the grass was dead; there were still pine trees that maintained a deep green color.
"I don't know how. But I know he's alive," he said.
Yavena did not argue further on that matter. Instead, she asked, "Would you like me to go with you?"
"You should stay here and rest."
"I didn't ask you if I should go. I asked you if you want me to go."
Silence. But Yavena would not be the first one to break it. She knew that he was weighing his options: attempting to decide between what was logical, and what was desired. It was true that her wounds would likely be aggravated during the travel… but it seemed that there would be a number of days of peace that Yavena could take advantage of following their return.
After a long moment of the two of them simply standing upon the Wall, overlooking the lands within Wall Sina, Levi sighed. "Come with me."
She smiled. "Whenever you need."
Levi was still, though something changed in the way that he was standing. He wasn't so rigid and unyielding. It reminded Yavena of the moments where a layer of his defenses was peeled away, whenever she would look at his face. So it was now with his stance; the edges ever so slightly worn down.
"It's going to suck covering all of that land again," he said, eyes narrowing as he observed the chasm. "You'll ride with me."
"As you wish," said Yavena. She could not help remembering the first time that he had offered for her to ride upon horseback with him: during her debut mission with Squad Levi, when Courage had lost his saddle.
Part of her wished to ask if that had been merely an offer of obligation or something more. But Yavena would not push her luck as it was. While she knew that they had an understanding, and that they cared about one another, asking questions she may or may not want the answer to might not be the best idea.
Without a word, Levi turned away from the Wall and towards the celebrating city below. Even from so high up, they could both hear the whistles and shouts of thanks, exclaiming that a new Queen had just saved them all.
"Let's go. There's no time to waste," he said.
Yavena nodded and leapt down from the top of the Wall after him, back in the direction of the Regiment Branch. As she flew over the city streets, she noted a number of the Wall Garrison soldiers exchanging relieved embraces, gulping down water, seemingly overwhelmed to simply be alive.
A small smirk crossed her lips. It was a good start for these soldiers, but she knew that they were not even close to facing true terror just yet.
But maybe they wouldn't have to.
She and Levi reached the courtyard of the Regiment Branch with no problem. A number of soldiers were already waiting for them, their horses prepared and rearing to go. One of the newly promoted Warrant Officers stepped forth and saluted them both, saying, "Captain Levi, Captain Yavena. We're ready to set off whenever you are."
"We leave in ten minutes," said Levi, brushing past the man. "How many soldiers ride with us?"
"Two dozen, Captain."
Levi nodded. "That'll do." He glanced over his shoulder and gestured Yavena forward.
Of course she followed his summons, walking alongside him towards the stables. There were many fine horses here with sleek coats and calm temperaments; horses that would've been prime choices for the Scout Regiment. On the far side of the stables was where their own horses were resting; Yavena smiled as she noted that Courage was snoozing in his stall, likely having overindulged himself on hay.
They stopped outside of the stall that housed Levi's horse, which was standing tall and apparently ready for another journey.
Yavena retrieved the saddles and the pillion from the other side of the stables and brought them to him. Levi took them and began to place them upon his horse—but there was a stiffness to his movements, uneasiness hidden in the depths of his eyes. Yavena knew that look; there was something he wished to say.
And she was right. As Levi was attaching the harnesses to his horse, he said, "If Kenny is alive and in any sort of fighting shape, you will leave him to me."
"If he's in any sort of fighting shape, it would be better for us to take him on together," said Yavena evenly and with a frown. "I was able to handle him well enough back in the cavern."
"Tch."
She leaned back and crossed her arms, feeling a spark of irritation buzz through her head. "Over the last few days, you've been so insistent on making my own choices for me. Why?"
"Because you didn't know enough about Kenny to make the best ones."
Yavena pursed her lips and reached out. Her hand found Levi's wrist—she clutched it tightly, preventing him from attending to the saddles. Only once his sharp silver eyes met hers did she speak. "You once told me that you would trust in me making my own decisions, and trust that I would be alive after making them. For a while, you were good on that word. What happened?"
He stared at her, unwavering. "Things changed."
"What changed?" she asked. "The world? The situation? Or us?"
Levi's eyes narrowed and he looked away. He did not make a move to free his wrist, however.
The sound of celebration was drawing closer. It seemed some of the citizens were following their to-be Queen through the streets and back to the Regiment Branch. The civilians were praising the soldiers, too, from both the Wall Garrison and the Scout Regiment; truly a rare occurrence indeed.
But Yavena did not focus on them: only on the man in front of her.
"Everyone who has ever been close to me has died," he said at last, finally recognizing that Yavena would not let him out of this conversation. "I will not risk that happening again."
A soft breath exited her mouth: his mother, Farlan, Isabel, Eld, Gunther, Petra, Olou. Three sets of friends—of family—taken away. Yavena had almost been one of them. She would've been if Levi hadn't been there, angrily attempting to save her life, to remind her of the orders he had given her.
"It's a new world now, Levi," she murmured. She moved her hand from his, setting him free, in favor of reaching towards the side of his face—and then she stopped. Her hand fell back to her side. "Things may be more dangerous now than ever before. You cannot protect me from that, however much you may try."
He was quiet; he turned away, clasping the last of the harnesses upon their horse.
"But I'm still alive," said Yavena next, though she did not make a move to force him to look at her again. "I'm still here. I made you a promise… that I'll continue fighting so long as I have someone to fight beside. Let me fulfill that promise. Let me fight with you."
"It's possible there will be no need to fight."
"I'm not just talking about Kenny. I'm talking about everything else that will come to pass," she retorted. "Our job is far from over. Wall Maria needs to be reclaimed, and Titans killed after that. We will be seeing Reiner, Bertholdt, and that Beast Titan from the reports again. I'm talking about what happens then."
Levi swung himself into the saddle of the horse and reached out a hand to help Yavena do the same. She took the provided assistance and settled behind him once again, wrapping her arms around his torso. If she concentrated hard enough, she could feel the faint pulse of his heartbeat.
He ushered his horse forward, into the courtyard. The two dozen soldiers at his command straightened as their Captains trotted into view. Once he knew he held their attentions, Levi announced, "We're leaving. Let's go!"
Twenty-five horses navigated the streets. The citizens of Orvud District all scrambled out of the way upon seeing members of the Scout Regiment heading for the exit of the Wall. The clopping of the horses' hooves upon cobblestone was deafening—but then the gate was raised, and their surroundings changed from civilization to tended pasture and softer dirt roads.
Yavena was aware that Levi had not responded to her last comment in the stables, but she would not prod or pry for an answer right away. He would address it when he wished to; she trusted him enough to do that.
In the meantime, however… she would take what peace and comfort that she could. It was the first time in three or four days that Yavena felt as though there was time to simply breathe.
The morning sun was warm and comfortable upon her skin. Parts of the landscape were devastated, but there was no ginormous Titan endangering Wall Sina. Eren and Historia had been returned to them yet again, there would be no more corrupt government or Interior Military Police, and none of Yavena's close friends had been lost in the process of any of these changes. It was a new world now; one that she trusted would be better. And here she was in that new world, enjoying a horseback ride to Rod Reiss's lands with someone she cared about.
Her eyes landed upon Levi, sitting quietly in front of her. His black hair nearly covered the back of his neck, which made her smile. He'd never liked having his hair too long. Yavena didn't know how she knew that, but she did.
In retrospect, there were a few other things that she knew about him but had simply never recognized; little details that she'd overlooked. He hated cinnamon sticks. He always fought holding his blades at a different angle than what was normally taught. He had a soft spot for cats. At least half of all of his jokes included toilet humor in some way. He couldn't cook to save his life.
Do you love him? Sasha had asked, only a few days before.
Yavena still did not have an answer for that question, but she remembered what beginning to fall in love had felt like. It was as though she was kneeling beside an obscenely large rabbit hole, staring into darkness below. There was no telling what she would find if she allowed herself to fall. Perhaps she would float effortlessly into a dream, or a better world. Or maybe she would collapse into a never-ending nightmare, one of regret or pain or death.
She knew she was leaning dangerously close over that abyss, one hand only barely holding onto the solid earth, the soft grass. One slip and it would be too late.
But even if she did tumble into that abyss, even if it was earlier than she had anticipated… Yavena was not afraid. It was Levi, after all. Someone she had trusted for years on end.
After glancing about to make sure none of the other soldiers were looking, she leaned forward and lightly kissed the area between his shoulder-blades.
He did not make a move to acknowledge the gesture, but that was all right. She knew exactly how he was feeling because, her arms still wrapped around his chest, she could feel the beating of his heart grow ever so slightly faster.
Hello everyone, I just wanted to apologize for the delay in posting this chapter. I've recently returned to work and have rather been drowning in it, which is less than fun indeed. I promise this next chapter will be QUITE fun, however, so I hope you will forgive me when I post the next one!
On a different note, I have another song recommendation for you. My best friend sent it to me last week with the message 'This reminds me of Yavena' and when I took a look at the lyrics, I agree that it does! Have a great day, everyone, and as always, thanks for reading!
Author's Playlist: Worth it for the Feeling by Rebecca Black