Omake / Recollections And Memories 7 / Flowers

The rain wasn't stopping.

No wonder Naofumi reminded him so much to grab an umbrella on his way out today. When school properly ended, all that people had to worry about were the breeze that the gray clouds were blowing down on everyone. Unfortunately for Itsuki, that breeze was now replaced with heavy rain. At least the wind was kept to a minimum or else he would be having more problems on keeping the umbrella opened up properly.

"But still, it's crazy how hard it's going down…" Itsuki glanced over to some of the other students who were taking their own extra-curricular activities. Some of them were waiting around, but something told him that this wasn't going to end anytime soon. "Well, there's only one thing that I could do."

With a heavy sigh, as weightful as the rain he had to traverse, he opened up his umbrella and started running over the bus stop. He needed to be careful not to accidentally slip or even worse, step into a deep puddle. Against all odds, he kept himself relatively dry, giving himself a pat on the back once he reached the bus stop's shelter.

Oddly enough, he expected it to be packed, but there hadn't been any people there. It could only mean one thing; Itsuki had missed the bus by just a bit. It was a bit disheartening, but he'll only need to wait for the next bus for about ten minutes. The only problem was that it took an alternative route that he was unfamiliar with, but according to the internet, it should have taken him relatively close by to his house. He could wait twenty minutes for a bus route he usually took, but he was focused on getting some proper shelter from the rain.

"Where does this bus even take me?" Itsuki mumbled to himself, looking it up on his phone.

He had always known it existed as a possibility for him, but in that time, he never actually tried to take it. Why would he? The normal route worked to great effect, especially because that bus route was so convenient on its timing. One would always be available when Itsuki either had to stay behind for band practice or to go home at the usual time.

Ten minutes passed and the alternate bus came rolling in. Itsuki paid his standard fare and took a seat, seeing that there hadn't been many people on the bus today. His favourite places to sit were the window seats at the far back of the bus and thankfully, no one had even been in the back, spare a person or two.

He was planning on dozing off until his bus stop was called and after that, he would make the trek back to his house. He had to approach it from another direction, but the distance had been slightly different. This path was unfortunately longer to walk down, but that was the sacrifice he needed to take to get home quicker.

Though, he never really went through this part of town, so he kept an eye open up to the window to see the sights. Vision was limited thanks to the rain, but he could still make out the roads and the buildings. It would be good to keep in mind the chance that he'll need to come to a place nearby this route. There were even some stores he didn't realize were so close by this route, but something told him that Naofumi and Motoyasu would have already known about them.

However, just as he was thinking that, a familiar hairstyle caught his eyes at the next bus stop. A blonde ponytail swung as he turned his head, approaching the bus as it came to a stop for his entry.

Motoyasu? What's he doing here? The university isn't in this direction.

Itsuki turned his head away from the front, instinctively trying to hide his face from his friend. It worked out without Motoyasu recognizing him, but it mainly had to do with the distance between them. Motoyasu kept himself at the front, like his next stop was coming up shortly, while Itsuki was all the way at the back. If Motoyasu was heading home, he would have relaxed a bit because there were still many stops in between.

Though, Itsuki didn't discount what his friend had been holding in his hands. Besides the umbrella Motoyasu set aside for now, there was an assortment of flowers in the style of a bouquet. He carefully held it to his chest, trying not to let the petals fly off as if they were delicate. And yet, Itsuki watched his expression as Motoyasu turned back around to the windows.

What type of emotion was that?

Itsuki had never seen such a conflicted expression drawn on Motoyasu's face before. Without it, he would have assumed that he was heading out on a date with a girl he fancied, but would someone like him be showing such complexed bittersweetness on such a day? Was it because of the weather? If so, Itsuki failed to convince himself of that answer, but with such an unusual and unfamiliar atmosphere, he couldn't bring himself to call out to his friend.

It was like Motoyasu was in his own little world.

Then, say Itsuki's gut instinct had been correct. What were the flowers for? Who were they for?

Those thoughts kept swelling inside of his head until the bus met a certain destination and Motoyasu started walking off from the front end. It probably wasn't his business to figure it out, but before Itsuki knew it, he stepped out from the bus on the back exit, quickly popping open his umbrella as the bus drove away.

He looked over to see Motoyasu walking down the street, so Itsuki followed him. Keeping a distance away to make sure that Motoyasu wouldn't notice him, the rain kept pattering on his umbrella, forcing him to be careful of its trajectory.

In contrast, Motoyasu didn't care. His umbrella was held over the flowers, not him. Itsuki could see his shoulder getting wet from the rain, but Motoyasu didn't show any signs of caring.

Somewhere, Itsuki just wanted Motoyasu to walk into a nearby restaurant or a hangout place to let all of his suspicions go to rest, but there hadn't been any around. There was only a large field, fenced to keep people out, but as he glanced over to see the field for himself, that's when Itsuki realized where they were.

It was a graveyard. And Motoyasu walked right into its entrance.

And so… those flowers must be…

The Motoyasu that he knew didn't hold any hardships. He was always smiling and making sure the mood was as light as possible, letting everyone around him have a great time. Surely, that came with some few sour hits, but that was Motoyasu to Itsuki. A cheerful guy who looks out for his friends.

This was a new light that Itsuki was seeing. It was probably something important to Motoyasu, so there was no reason why he should dig any deeper than this. There was no reason why he should disrespect his friend by showing up behind him like this, but the conflicted feeling on Mtooyasu's face kept flickering in his memory.

Something about that… felt strangely off…

Grief? No, that wasn't it. Sorrow? That hadn't been it either. Any form of sadness and depression had been listed off one by one by Itsuki, being unable to confidently say that it was the emotion Motoyasu had been wearing - and is still wearing.

Itsuki should have turned back.

And yet, Itsuki instead walked into the graveyard to follow Motoyasu past the point of no return. The rain made it difficult to find where Motoyasu was standing, but it didn't take long for him to see his umbrella. He was crouched down, placing the flowers onto the gravestone in front of him. He hadn't put down all of them, but instead, exactly half of its number.

It was better to say that Motoyasu had bought two sets of flowers instead of one.

Motoyasu then set his umbrella aside and placed down the second set of flowers underneath it. He pinned it to the gravestone, so it would have a difficult time flying off, but it merely caused Motoyasu to become drenched in the rain. Nevertheless, he took out a cloth and started wiping the hardened dirt off from the stone. The rain was making it easy for it to be clean, but if this kept up, Motoyasu would definitely be sick by the end of it.

Itsuki walked up and extended his umbrella, trying to angle it for both him and Motoyasu to stay protected from the rain as much as possible. He wanted that, but his shoulder had to take sacrifices.

"Huh?" Motoyasu was surprised, glancing up to his friend. "I-Itsuki? What are you…?"

"Honestly, that should be my question, but…" Itsuki took a heavy pause. "Never mind that. Just keep doing what you were doing. I don;t want you to end up dying when you get home."

Motoyasu stopped, likely to adjust to the new situation at hand, but with a defeated sigh, he carried on what he was doing. Not before long, the gravestone was clean from any blemishes, at least from what Itsuki could make of it. It wasn't in his right to do so, but his eyes rolled over to the gravestone's plaque by themselves.

He was wondering who had been buried underneath the ground before them. It couldn't have been a parent, since Motoyasu already expressed that they were on business trips, so it could have been a close relative. And yet, that still didn't explain the unnerving feeling in Itsuki's heart.

And upon reading it…

[Here lies Ikuyo].

With the details like his family name and her date of death written on it, Itsuki couldn't tear his eyes away from it once it caught his sight. It seemed like shame, for someone to have died before they graduated from highschool. No, was she even able to enter highschool yet? Itsuki couldn't exactly do the math quickly, because there was something else bothering him.

Her name was familiar, but why?

"Ikuyo…"

Where has he heard that name before?

"I guess I can't really keep it a secret, now." Motoyasu stood up, taking the flowers from the umbrella and holding both of them up. He nodded to Itsuki. "Thanks for keeping me dry."

"Well, I can't say you're dry right now."

"Haha! Well, that's not your fault! You at least kept me as dry as you have!"

There it was. Motoyasu's usual laughter.

He was hiding away that face he was wearing on the bus and on the way to the graveyard. It was evident to see that it was a face that he didn't want his friends to see, but Itsuki was already too involved in thinking about Motoyasu's connection to this place. He looked at the gravestone once more, seeing that the flowers were a mixture of daisies and roses. An odd combination, but for someone like Motoyasu, they probably had meaning behind it.

"If you don't mind me asking, what's all this?"

"..."

Motoyasu's cheerful atmosphere vanished as quickly as it showed up.

"If you don't want to answer, that's fine."

"No, I'm just… trying to find the words," he shook his head. "If I don't tell you, it's just going to gnaw at your thoughts for a while and I probably don't want that to happen, so I'll just tell you. Though, I need you to promise me something."

"Yeah? Anything."

"Please don't tell anyone else about this. This is just something belonging to my past that belongs to me exclusively. No one else really needs to know about what happened there, except for myself. I'm not really looking for any sympathy here, not that I deserve any."

Itsuki's silent nod was enough for Motoyasu to keep going.

"This is the gravesite of a childhood friend of mine. Because my parents were always busy working, I came to know this girl due to the fact that she was my neighbour. She was really bold and straightforward, making it difficult to not get swept away by her mood, but there was an issue that I never really got a chance to confront about."

"And what was that?"

"That she was in love with me."

Itsuki narrowed his eyes, deadpanning. It was hard to take it seriously when Motoyasu was known for making girls swoon over him at his university. He didn't say anything to ruin the mood though, but Motoyasu definitely noticed his reaction.

"Hey. This was before girls started flocking to me."

"Would it kill you to not phrase it like that, you damn lady-killer?"

"Lady-killer, huh?" Motoyasu's eyes darkened as he gazed over to Ikuyo's grave. Did he say something wrong? "I really am one, aren't I? That's why I have to keep everyone happy."

That response had been distant enough to throw Itsuki off, but Motoyasu continued like it was nothing. He really only wanted to try and lighten the mood, but he was no Motoyasu. If anything, it felt like he made it worse. He should probably leave it at that, especially since the ending of that story was right in front of him, so it wasn't anything to make light of.

"We spent time together, but then another girl came into my life when I was older. Her parents were friends with mine and apparently, they told each other that they had a child around the same ages. They decided to have us meet each other, without their presence, and, well… I think she just fell in love with me at first sight."

"Wait, but that would mean…"

"Yeah, it's what you assumed. Those two didn't get along with each other very well. They kept fighting between each other and every time they met, they simply couldn't come to a compromise. I was the one that made sure nothing escalated, wanting everyone to be happy. That's what my parents always told me, to make people happy with my life. Because if everyone was happy, nothing bad would happen, right?"

The winds of the clouds felt like they picked up a bit, causing Itsuki to hold his bag tighter.

"But I failed them. I couldn't get my thoughts through to them and they ended up attacking me out of jealousy."

"Attacking you?" Itsuki could only imagine some fist flying over to the victim's direction, but if that was the case, they should have been attacking each other, not Motoyasu.

"I came home one day to find them arguing with each other, just like any other day. However, the tension was higher than usual. I think this was the time I started getting popular with the girls at school and that pressure probably got to their heads. They kept shouting over each other and I persisted in calming them down, only for them to turn against me. They wanted me to pick someone as my lover, once and for all."

Motoyasu bit down on his lips.

"I couldn't. Not when I knew I would make the other person spiral into sadness, but I tried to tell them that. I decided to tell them that I wasn't ready to decide, despite knowing each of them for a while now. I couldn't devote myself to someone, knowing that it's going to hurt the other, but they didn't understand. I didn't explain well enough and before I knew it, Ikuyo pulled out a knife."

Itsuki wasn't the one in that memory, but he had the need to gulp. He couldn't imagine how scared Motoyasu was at that moment, even noticing that his hands were shaking from retelling it.

"I tried to survive as best as I could, pleading with the other girl for help, but before I knew it, he pulled out a knife from the kitchen and tried to kill me as well. They were fighting over who was going to spend the afterlife with me, thinking that they could be the one by my side in heaven."

Motoyasu's hand tightened around his umbrella.

"My body acted by itself."

The wind howled in the distance.

"Have you heard of the news story many years ago? A freak incident that left two girls to their graves and a boy in the hospital. I don't remember what they wrote down because all I could think about was what really happened that day, but I'm sure there was a cover-up, especially with my broken testimony to a detective. My parents probably didn't want any problems to come my way, thinking it's simply a case of survivor's guilt."

"Then that would mean you survived their attack?"

"Unfortunately, because that meant…"

If it was so long ago, there was a chance Itsuki would never have paid much attention to it. That was probably the time he was getting bullied and the time where he met Ren for the first time. However, it was possible that he heard Ikuyo's name around the town and that's why it felt so familiar for him, but he deluded himself. There's no way a child would keep such an unimportant memory ingrained in his mind as a passing moment.

Itsuki glanced over to Motoyasu, seeing how his hands were trembling.

"It's because I killed them." Itsuki's heart skipped a beat. He couldn't really believe Motoyasu's words, thinking that he must have been mistaken somehow. "Everyone was wounded, but Ikuyo and Momiji kept fighting against each other. Even with dangerous weapons in their hands, they refused to surrender their love to the other. I, myself, got stabbed a few times, but when they tried to deal the final blow to me, I just..."

Itsuki could imagine what Motoyasu had done, but he really didn't want to.

"It wasn't intentional then! It was out of self-defense! It wasn't your fault!"

"It was my fault! I failed them! I failed to make them happy, I failed to make them understand my position and that's why I can't ever forget them." Motoyasu's fake smile surfaced once again as the rain seemingly lightened up a bit. "If I ever forget, that would make me the lowest of the low. They're my reminder to make sure that I can't fail at making people happy again. Never."

Itsuki winced in Motoyasu's words. From his perspective, Motoyasu didn't do anything wrong, and yet, he kept piling the burdens onto his shoulder as if he was the mastermind here. It felt terrible to see a friend kick himself onto the ground like that, but Itsuki didn't know what to say. It was clear he was going to be stubborn about deciding where his fault had lied in that, but he was sure that if Naofumi had been the one to be standing here, he may have been able to convince Motoyasu that he didn't do anything wrong.

He wasn't Naofumi though, and he did promise Motoyasu to not tell anyone else.

"Well, enough of that," Motoyasu chuckled, switching his mood after they stayed silent for about a minute. It was a pretty long minute, if Itsuki had to say so himself. "I need to get to the other girl's gravestone. The funny part about this is that the two families never actually realized they buried their conflicting daughters in the same graveyard, but that makes it easier for me."

"Do you mind if I come by to pay my respect too?"

Motoyasu was surprised by Itsuki's gesture, but he ended up smiling. This one felt genuine.

"Yeah. Do what you want, buddy."

As Motoyasu led him over to the other girl's gravestone, he couldn't wrap up the mystery of knowing Ikuyo's name. He kept pondering, trying to figure out who might have said it to him, but it wasn't like he knew Motoyasu in the past, or even had been in the general vicinity of his social circle. Itsuki's family was as middle classed as they came along, while Motoyasu was probably rich with those parents of his.

A… rich family?

Itsuki's mind blanked out when that detail struck him, but he didn't need to speculate any further. Because when Motoyasu showed Itsuki the gravesite of the second girl, Itsuki's eyes slowly widened. His breaths became shorter, but he was careful not to show any of his discomfort outwardly for Motoyasu to notice. The sweat might have been mixed in with some of the rain droplets, hitting his face from the windy angle, but his eyes couldn't tear away from the plaque.

As Motoyasu placed down the second set of flowers, Itsuki's stomach was filled with butterflies. There's no way something of this level of coincidence could happen in real life, but it ended up happening anyways. And he was now the barrier that prevented it from ever reaching any sort of light. It was certainly better to forget about it, but given how heavy this discovery was, the best he could do was be mindful of his words from today onwards.

There was a reason why Ikuyo's name was so vague in his memories.

It was because this girl's name was clear to him.

[Here lies Momiji].

Motoyasu said to promise him to never tell anyone about his past, but he wasn't the only person he promised such a thing to.

He promised that to Ren as well and by all means—

—they shouldn't know their connections to one another through this girl.

-/IV/-

Naofumi noticed a scarf on the hanger of their balcony. Since it was raining, he was trying to pull everything in the laundry before it got wet. He didn't put his stuff out, but it seemed like Ren didn't really pay attention to the forecast. When he noticed Ren's mistake, it was already too late, stuffing things into the basket to pass back to Ren for him to decide another time to dry them.

And yet, the scarf was something odd to him. It was definitely big enough for a highschooler for Ren's age, but it looked so worn out. It was definitely starting to get cold out and Ren usually likes wearing a scarf to keep his neck warm, but this was the first time he ever got a closer look at it.

"What are you looking at?"

Ren's voice called out to him, causing Naofumi to turn around with the scarf in his hand. His friend walked up, grabbing the scarf out of Naofumi's hand without hesitation.

"Give it here. Why are you looking so much into my scarf?"

"Don't you think you should get a new one? It looks pretty old, making me think you got it as a kid and refused to change it ever since."

"Well, it is pretty old, but I'm not keen on changing it out."

"Any reason?"

Ren held his scarf, glancing down at it.

"It's just a gift from someone I once respected. On retrospective, it's a bit ridiculous that I still wear this now that I think about it, but it's nothing too exciting."

"Oh? Who was it?"

"No one you'll be able to meet. Don't worry about it."

Ren walked off to carry his stuff back to his room, but his answer sounded empty and yet stern. Whatever it was, it seemed like a sensitive topic for him and with his response, Naofumi left it at that. It'll probably never come up again, especially if it's Ren whose holding those secrets to his heart.

[Author's Notes]

This one was the last omake for Volume 2. The next chapter will be the beginning of a new arc for our four heroes and tagalong companions, but of course, I'm still in the middle of planning things out. I've been pretty lazy about drafting up an outline. I'm only using a few checkpoints as a way to guide the story of ROT4H, but it's still difficult in trying to connect the checkpoints using a sensical flow of original events. And offputting, thus my laziness towards it.

Though, the "next" chapter thing might be a half-lie, since I'm going to try out something new for it.

Something that reflects my personal feelings about this fanfic's first arc. They're mixed feelings, by the way. I'm proud of what I made, obviously, but that doesn't come back to me all so smoothly. Sometimes, one's future self is one's own best critic when it comes to reflecting about the words they've written. No, there won't be anymore rewrites. Fuck that, lmao. I literally have a trauma to the word rewrite now.

Anyways, I hope I can get that all sorted out in a timely fashion, but I'd like to thank everyone for reading so far and I'll thank you for waiting until the the next upload.

I'll see you in Volume 3.

(These Author's Notes are likely going to be deleted when V3C1 is dropped.)