Just after 2 in the morning, the nurse places my son in my arms. Everything that's happened over the last few hours disappears as I look into his eyes and fall madly in love with the tiny little boy swaddled in a striped generic hospital cotton blanket.
"Well, hello, Jonah." I whisper to him, settling on his name the moment I see him. My heart is just so full. Josh beams at me, tears welling up in his eyes, before he leans down and kisses the baby's forehead. When he looks back up, the tears have spilled over and are running down his cheeks.
"Donna-" he starts, but he's too choked up to say anything. It doesn't matter, I know exactly how he feels. It's surreal, completely overwhelming.
I thought I was prepared for this emotion. I thought I remembered what it was like. But it's so much more. It's indescribable.
"Okay, I'll give you some time to yourselves," the nurse remarks as she pushes the bassinet over closer to the bed. "If you'd like me to take the baby to the nursery later, so that you can get some sleep, just press the call button."
I nod at her, but I don't expect to call. Josh isn't going to let Jonah out of his sight any time soon. His gaze on us is intense, a mixture of awe and protectiveness that makes me a little light headed. Sometimes I just can't believe that we're here. We made it to this point. I've got everything I ever wanted.
"Do you want to hold him?" I don't think he has yet. They put the baby on my chest for a few seconds before they whisked him away to clean and measure him, but I don't think Josh got to hold him. The rest of the delivery went quickly since I didn't need stitches this time, and I think they brought the baby right to me.
"Yeah, I do." Josh admits in a gruff voice full of longing and love that causes my emotions to surge and my eyes to fill with tears.
"Hey, hey." Josh responds in a quiet, desperate voice that makes me burst out sobbing. But the sobbing immediately turns into laughter as Josh climbs into the hospital bed and wraps his arms around me and Jonah.
"Hey, hey. . ." He continues while I continue to purge the conflicting emotions that come with the last of the pregnancy hormones ravaging my body.
"I'm alright." I manage to wheeze out, as I try to reassure him. He just keeps holding me until the episode passes.
"Okay. I'm alright." I tell him again in a stronger voice. "Here. Someone wants to meet you."
I push away from Josh a little bit and transfer the baby into his arms. Josh just stares at him for a few minutes, memorizing every feature.
"Hey, little man." Josh finally greets the baby, who opens his eyes when he hears his father. I'm glad to see that Jonah seems to know Josh's voice, just like Lulu did. "Well, look at you." Josh goes on, "arriving on your due date, just like your sister."
"What can I say," I joke with him, "my punctuality genes run deep."
"Well they don't get it from me." Josh agrees. "He's got your eyes too."
"Babies' eyes are always blue." I remind him.
"Lulu's stayed."
"I know, But his might not." I wouldn't mind. I like brown eyes. "So, I didn't hear the nurse- what were his stats?"
"7 lbs 1oz. 21.5 inches. 9 on the APGAR."
"That's good." I yawn, snuggling into Josh a little more and resting my head against his arm. Josh's arm automatically tightens around me and he drops a light kiss on the top of my head.
"Go to sleep." He tells me. "I'll take care of you two."
. . . .
A nurse checking my blood pressure wakes me up just after 7. Must be a shift change. Josh isn't next to me on the bed anymore. He's sitting in a chair by the window, holding the baby.
"Hey . . ." Once I call out to him, he stands up and walks over to me, putting Jonah in my arms. "Have you been holding him all night?"
"No, I put him in the bassinet for a bit and got a few hours of sleep in the chair."
"Oh good! I'm glad to hear that." We're both older this time around. And now we've got two kids. We're going to need all the sleep we can get.
"Hey buddy, how are you doing this morning?" I coo at Jonah who has his eyes open and seems to be studying me.
"Well, he just got a new diaper." Josh informs me. "Man I almost forgot how absolutely disgusting those first diapers are."
"I'll get the next one." I promise him, but he immediately shakes his head.
"No, that's not what I meant." He assures me. "You've been doing everything for the last nine months! I've got this."
His promise and tone fill me with love. I adore this man. I'll never get tired of sweet Josh. This version of him that's really reserved for us.
"Your Daddy's pretty incredible." I tell Jonah, who blinks at me with a serious look on his face. I can't wait to discover what his personality is going to be. I wonder if he'll be as outgoing and gregarious as Lulu. Speaking of which . . .
"Did you call your Mom yet? Is she bringing Lulu up here to meet Jonah?"
"I haven't called her yet." Josh admits. "I probably should do that now. I actually just got a text from the Closing Agent. Linda took care of the arrangements for us. They pushed the closing back by an hour. An agent is going to come by here at 8 to have us sign all the paperwork, then they'll take it to the seller and finish up with them at 9."
"So we're still going to get the keys today?"
"Yes. Linda will be at the closing and pick them up. I was thinking we could send Mom over there too. Then she can give the movers and the decorator access to the house so they can get everything taken care of like we planned."
"Yeah, That's a good idea. Call your Mom. And if Lulu is still sleeping, you can call Nicole to go over to the apartment, when I talked to her last night she said to give her a call if we needed anything today."
"Okay," Josh agrees, looking at his watch. "If Lulu's awake by 8 they should be okay, but maybe I should call Nicole anyway."
"Yeah, and while you're doing that I'd better call my folks. You know how they'll get if they find out that they weren't the first to know that he's here."
I look down at Jonah and see that his eyes are closed again. He hasn't made so much as a squeak this morning. "Hey- has he eaten?" The thought suddenly occurs to me and I feel bad. I know babies don't tend to eat much in the beginning but it has been five hours since he was born.
"Yeah, I gave him a bottle. He drank almost a little over one ounce around 5. Was that okay? Have you changed your mind about nursing?"
"No, I haven't changed my mind. I can't do that again." I've practiced saying this. I'm a little afraid that some nurse is going to try to talk me into breastfeeding, but I've thought about this a lot and I'm sure about my decision. It's just not for me. And formula is fine. Lulu is amazing. Not being breastfed didn't hurt her.
Josh nods in relief. I don't think he wanted me to go through that again either. Plus he really does like to have the opportunity to feed the kids. I'm glad that he's already had a chance to bond with Jonah.
Josh hands me my phone then steps out of the room to make his calls. The phone only rings once before my Mom's breathless hello.
"Hi Mom! He's here!" I immediately greet her.
"Oh, I'm glad to hear that! Hold on a minute let me get your Dad on. JIM! It's Donna!" She yells. A moment later I hear the click that indicates that Dad probably picked up the phone in the den.
"Hi Sweetheart." Dad greets me gruffly.
"Hi Dad, the baby arrived."
"So, what's his name? What time was he born?" Mom asks. "How big was he?"
"His name is Jonah Moss Lyman. July 25, 2011 at 1:47 am. 7 pounds 1 ounce. 21 and half inches long."
"I can't wait to meet him." Mom sighs.
"We can wait two Days, Lottie." Dad declares. "We'll be there Wednesday. Like we planned."
I'm a touch disappointed, but it makes sense. They booked tickets for Wednesday afternoon after Dr. Andrews scheduled the induction for Tuesday. And changing the tickets would probably be expensive. But still, a little part of me wishes they'd say they were going to do it.
"I know." Mom agrees. "Will you send me some pictures, please Donna? I want to show Aunt Barbara."
"Of course, Mom."
"Okay, well, then I guess we should let you go. You probably have more calls to make."
"Yes. Josh is talking to his Mom now. She's going to bring Lulu up here in a little bit. And we need to call the Bartlets and everyone else."
Mom huffs a little when I mention that Sylvia is on her way to meet the baby. I know I'm going to end up hearing about it later, but there's nothing I can do about it. If they'd wanted to they could have come to town and waited for Jonah to arrive too. Though honestly, I'm glad they didn't.
"Alright. We'll see you Wednesday."
"Okay. I think we'll be out of the hospital by then so just come straight to the new house, okay?"
"Okay." Dad agrees.
"Talk to you later. Goodbye." Mom concludes.
"Bye, Mom. Bye Dad." I respond before hanging up. After I hang up with Mom and Dad, I take a couple photos of the baby to send to her. They're cute, but he's still wearing a hospital onesie and he's wrapped up in the hospital blanket. I wish Josh had put a different outfit on him after he changed the diaper.
Josh comes back into the room just as I'm sliding out of the bed.
"Whoa!" He exclaims, rushing over to me. "Are you supposed to be up?"
I can't even help but roll my eyes. "I'm allowed to get up. Jonah's in the bassinet."
"Still, I'd rather you'd have waited until I was here, just in case." Josh answers. "I just don't want anything to happen to you."
"I know." I reassure him as he wraps his arms around me and plants his lips on my temple.
"What do you need?"
"I was just going to change him into something cute and take some pictures to send out. Plus, I'd like to take a shower before we get any family pictures."
"Okay. You take a shower. I've got him."
. . . .
We've just finished signing all the paperwork when the door bursts open.
"Daddy! Mama! I'm here! Where's brother?" Lulu exclaims in the loudest whisper-voice I've ever heard from her. Mom must have warned her not to yell in case the baby was sleeping.
Josh gets the biggest smile ever on his face as he scoops Lulu up to hold her over the bassinet. Then when she finally sees the baby, Lulu's smile matches Josh's.
"Hi brother, Hi! I waited so long for you!" Then she looks at Josh. "Can I hold him?"
My heart could just burst seeing them together. The look on Sylvia's face mirrors exactly how I feel. She's absolutely glowing as she approaches me and places a kiss on either cheek.
As she steps back so that Josh can put Lulu on the bed next to me I hear her murmur a blessing. "Baruḥ ata Adonai Eloheinu meleḥ ha'olam hatov v'ha'meitiv."
Once Lulu is in place, Josh retrieves Jonah from the bassinet and puts him in Lulu's arms. Then he hands his Mom the camera and climbs in on the other side of her so we're all squished together.
My heart is so full. I could just stay like this forever. And surprisingly, Lulu isn't squirming to get down either. She's studying Jonah intently. His eyes are still closed but his little lips are moving. I bet he's starting to get hungry.
"Good brother." She whispers to him.
"His name is Jonah." I tell her with a smile towards Sylvia. I really hope that she likes his name. I really want to honor Noah and Joanie, but I don't want to make her sad. Her smile in return tells me that we've succeeded.
"Hi Jonah, Hi." Lulu says a little louder, and the baby open his eyes to look at her. "Oh!" She exclaims. "He's awake!"
He blinks at her apparently unaffected by the volume, which is good since it's still no where near what Lulu is capable of.
Then Jonah opens his mouth and lets out the tiniest squeak. Lulu's eyes grow to the size of saucers.
"He's talking." She tells me without lifting her eyes from him to see what happens next.
"He's probably a little hungry."
"I'll feed him!" She declares. I look at Josh who just shrugs. I guess I can't think of why she can't give him a bottle with my help, so I give him the slightest nod.
He gets up and gets a bottle out of the cupboard and attaches a nipple to it then hands it to me even though Lulu is holding out her hand as well.
"Mama will help you." He tells her gently, before he grabs my phone so he can take some video. Lulu does a good job of helping me feed Jonah but he only drinks about an ounce before he goes back to sleep.
"Jonah's all done?" Lulu asks when I pull the bottle away and set it on the tray.
"Yep. He's little so he doesn't eat very much."
"I'm big." Lulu tells me, and it hits me that she is. She suddenly seems so huge. I feel my eyes fill up a little. I guess I'm not completely over the hormone swing.
"I think Bubbe would like to hold him now." I tell Lulu gently as she pats Jonah's arm. Sylvia nods and sits up straighter in her chair, while Josh swoops in and takes Jonah from us.
He gives the baby a few firm pats on the back and elicits a small burp before handing him over to his mother, who looks duly impressed by both of them.