Chapter 1: Muggle Studies Homework is Actually Pretty Fun

Harry sat, chin in hand, trying not to let his eyes glaze over too obviously as his Muggle Studies professor chattered on about Muggle technology. She was excitedly holding up a cell phone for the class, and demonstrating, with some muttering and several attempts, some of its basic functions, and how they were used in Muggle Society, as an instant and transportable communication device. Harry only tuned in when he heard her giving their homework.

"Now! For your homework, you will be given paired phones, that connect to one other student's phone, a magical connection since, unfortunately, we haven't been able to figure a way to get service here." She sighed, annoyed, but then brightened as she returned to her subject. "But it will be similar enough! So! Grab a phone as you go out the door, and practice with it for one week. I will be checking to make sure you've been using the text feature! Texting is a huge part of muggle society, so please be sure to have at least a daily conversation. It could be very important when trying to get along in the Muggle world without raising suspicion."

Much of the class was rather interested now. They lined up and took a phone each from the basket as they exited their class. There was much muttering, turning of the devices to various angles, and pressing of random buttons, as the students separated into smaller groups and made their way to their next classes or free periods. Obviously they hadn't been paying much attention when the teacher had given her display. Harry joined Ron and Hermione as they made their way to the library.

"Don't worry, Ron! I'll show you how to do it later," Hermione was saying, as Ron stared down at his phone in horror, having pressed the wrong buttons, and accidently changing the language to Chinese. "Just stop pressing buttons! You'll mess up all the settings."

Harry slid his phone into his pocket, deciding to leave it til later. Hermione was the only one of the three who had a cell phone, though she only used it on holidays, she could explain everything to him if he couldn't figure it out himself.

They settled down to their homework. They all had a free period, even Hermione, despite her tendency to cram more subjects into her day than humanly possible. He was rather half-heartedly working on his potions essay when an odd buzzing caught his ear. He frowned. Something had seemed to tickle his leg at the same time. He remembered the phone then, a little embarrassed at his obtuseness. He pulled it out of his pocket. The screen was lit.

One New Message

He tapped the screen to open the message.

'Hello.'

It took him a few moments to tap his reply on the small buttons on the screen. He kept making mistakes and having to backtrack. He settled on a simple response.

'Hello back to you.'

'So this is how Muggles communicate.'

'Apparently.' Harry paused, thinking what to say. 'It's fast. Very convenient.'

'There are wizarding methods just as effective, and easier than these tiny buttons.' The time it took for the reply made Harry smile, imagining his mystery classmate struggling to type the longer sentence.

'So who's this?'

The reply once again took a while.

'Why not see if we can guess?'

'Sounds fun. Girl or guy?'

'That would be telling.'

Harry grinned, intrigued.

"What are you doing, Harry?" Hermione's voice was disapproving. "Did you have to finish the essay already?"

"Not yet. I'll do it later. Besides, I'm doing homework." He held up the cell phone as proof.

"Who'd you get?" Ron was interested.

"Not sure yet. Either of you get a text yet?"

"Not yet." Said Ron.

"We can work on that AFTER you finish your potions essays." Hermione glared at them both, and they bent to their work. A buzzing against his thigh distracted Harry a few minutes later.

'What are you doing?'

'Potions essay. And you?' Harry tapped out.

'Still? I had mine done last night.'

'Well good for you.' Despite the response, Harry found his scowl turning into a smile. This was actually rather fun. The mystery added to it. He had no idea who to picture behind the words on the screen. Of course, it could end up being a disappointment. Probably would, in fact. He actually was really glad he didn't know.

'May I recommend you do the work as soon as possible, so that you can relax?'

'But that would be no fun. The last minute desperation is so very inspiring.'

'If you say so. But here you are doing homework, and here I am outside in the sun with my friends, relaxing.'

Harry glanced around, surveying the others in the library who had been in his Muggle Studies class. So it wasn't on of them, for sure.

'Well I'm going to do that now, too. Screw potions.'

'A bold choice. A hint of rebellion. I believe I am detecting some Gryffindor there?'

'That would be telling.' Harry grinned, slid the phone back into his pocket, and gathered his books.

"Well, I'm not going to waste the nice weather on Potions essays. I'm going to go see if Hagrid's free for tea." Ron stood to join him but Hermione grabbed his robe.

"Ron, you've barely even STARTED! Let Harry be irresponsible if he chooses. I won't have my boyfriend FAILING classes. It would ruin my reputation."

Ron subsided with bad grace, resuming his seat and grumbling all the while. Harry shook his head over his friends' odd relationship as he left the library, book bag slung over one shoulder, and made his way out of the school. Outside, he could see clumps of students studying, playing games, or just enjoying the weather. He saw Dean and Seamus hunched over something, but ignored them. Neville was alone, seated in the shade of a tree, looking stressed, scrawling on an already lengthy roll of parchment. Probably potions, never his best subject. He groaned in annoyance as his path took him near a small cluster of Slytherins, Draco in their midst, his white blonde hair perfect as always, the usual sneer marring his narrow face, with his head on a pretty fifth year's lap. Harry decided to ignore them.

"Off to see the oaf, Potter?" Draco's rather unimaginative taunt made Harry roll his eyes.

"Off to see a friend my father didn't have to buy for me," he retorted, then swept away before Draco could come up with a response.

As he walked back from Hagrid's hut, Harry pulled out his phone again.

'How was your free period? Get much relaxing done?'

'Not as much as I had hoped. I admit, I will be relieved to graduate, or even just for the next holiday. The restrictions of school are beginning to chafe. I would have enjoyed getting in some Quidditch practice, or even just go for a fly.'

'Oh so you play Quidditch. Are you on a team? Or would that be too much a giveaway?'

'It would. What about you? What are your thoughts on Quidditch?'

'I love it, to be honest. I love flying. I love the intensity of the sport. Do you get to fly a lot where you live? On holidays I mean.'

'Yeah, there's a pitch nearby. I can fly whenever I want.'

'I wish. I live in a Muggle area. There's no where to fly, and my family don't really like me to do that sort of thing. So I only really fly when visiting friends.'

'Damn, that's harsh. Why don't they like you flying?'

'Well, to be honest, they don't like magic much in general.'

'Oh. Muggle born then? You're giving a lot away here. That narrows it down a lot.'

'Ha ha! Actually, no. Just the relatives I stay with on holidays. I don't live with my parents.' Harry decided not to mention the reason why. Despite the many losses to Voldemort and his Death Eaters, someone living with Muggles who's parents had died would just be too telling. He wanted to carry the mystery on a while longer.

'Oh. I'm sorry.'

'Don't be. I spend most of the holidays with friends anyway. As much as I can, at least.'

'So your family don't like you doing magic? That's so bizarre.'

'It's annoying. A lot of the time, they lock my broom and text books away just to be SURE I don't use them.'

'How do you get your summer assignments done then?'

'I don't always. Makes it a little rough to start the year, but I catch up fast.'

'Well that's good. It still seems to weird to me. Locking up your stuff? That seems so extreme.'

'You're telling me! One year they decided to be extra sure I couldn't do anything even vaguely magic related and locked me in my room. Bars on the window and everything. It was ridiculous.'

'WHAT?! They locked you up? That's insane! For the whole summer?!'

'They installed a cat flap to deliver my meals. Not even joking. But it wasn't the whole summer. Some friends came for me.'

'Merlin…and I think I had it rough when my family expect me to attend all these events and functions every holiday. Seriously dude…it is dude, right? Your family sounds literally insane. You shouldn't stay with them anymore.'

'Sorry. I didn't mean to be depressing. To be honest, it's funny to me now. And I'll graduate in another year. It won't matter then. I'll probably never see them again after that.'

'I should hope not.'

'Well, see you at dinner, even if we won't know it. Ha ha.' Harry put his phone away and made his way back to the castle, joining Hermione and Ron at the table in the Great Hall. They were studiously ignoring each other, and Ginny, seated beside Hermione, shot Harry an amused glance when he sat. He lifted his eyebrows in a question, and she nodded her head toward Hermione, lifting her eyebrows in a meaningful glance.

"I guess the essays didn't go well?"

Hermione made a "Hrmph" noise and focused on her food. Harry turned to Ron, who's expression was somewhere between exasperated and piteous. Harry heard Ron's phone buzz against the seat. Ron didn't move to pull it out, but the furious glare Hermione shot at him gave Harry a clue as to what the problem between them might be.

"Alright, who'd you get then?"

Ron's ears went red. "Uh…Lavender…Brown."

Hermione snorted, but didn't look up from her meal. Some giggling further down the table between several of their classmates was followed by another buzz from Ron's phone.

"Well, aren't you going to answer?" Hermione's voice was cold. "It's only the fifth message. She seems so eager for your response."

Ron shot Harry a pleading look. Harry just shrugged. "It's only homework, mate. Just say something polite and leave it at that." He turned to Hermione. "So who'd you get?"

Her scowl deepened. "Goyle."

Harry let out a burst of laughter. "Sorry Hermione. But that's good. The conversation must be doing REALLY well."

"I'm not even sure what he's saying half the time, he doesn't even bother to correct his spelling errors."

"What about you, Harry?" Ron asked, eager to keep the conversation going now that Hermione was at least talking.

"Still a mystery. It's kinda fun that way."

As if on cue, his own phone buzzed. Ron looked over his shoulder as he read it, and he had the curious desire to pull away and shield the screen from his gaze. Odd, that. He felt possessive of his mystery friend. He resisted the urge to pull away and they read it together.

'Have a look at Trelawney.'

Harry and Ron both looked at the Head table, Trelawney was there. As they watched, her eyes slowly closed, and she listed to one side, before quickly jerking back upright. As they watched, her eyes closed again, and she listed, until her head came to a rest…on Severus Snape's shoulder. Ron snorted, barely restraining his laughter. Harry typed back.

'Is she drunk? I swear she's drunk. See Snape's face?'

'Merlin. He looks as though he's been turned to stone just after smelling something really foul.'

'He always looks like that, though. Maybe he's secretly enjoying it.'

'Ha ha! A secret romance between Snape and Trelawney? Oh no. Now I'm imagining it. Oh Merlin, I need to go scrub my brain now.'

Harry burst into laughter, gaining a few looks from his tablemates.

"What'd they say?" Ron leaned over to read Harry's conversation. This time Harry did pull away.

"Have your own conversation." The sour faces he got from both of his friends reminded him who that conversation would be with, and he smiled sheepishly at them, before returning to his texting.

'That mental image is horrible. I am sure it will be in my nightmares tonight.'

'Ugh. The more I try not to think about it, the more my perverse brain decides to embellish it. I just imaged Trelawney in lingerie.'

'Oh no. Now that's in my head too. THANKS A LOT MATE!' Harry stared ahead of himself for a moment, a horrified look growing over his face, before returning to type another message. 'I JUST IMAGINED SNAPE IN LINGERIE! I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU THIS!'

The response was quick. 'HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OH NOOOOO! I'm just going to go cast Scourgify on my brain for the next hour, don't mind me.'

Harry grinned, and was still grinning when he crawled into bed that night. It felt good to have such a lighthearted and humorous conversations, not fraught with the tension of his best friends in their new relationship, or any of the other baggage of his current friendships. Obviously, he knew the person. He knew everyone in his year. But he also hadn't made a new friend in a long while because of that, and this at least felt like a new friend.

He woke in the morning to the buzzing.

'This is awful. I couldn't even look Snape in the eye in the common room this morning. I just kept imagining him and Trelawney in lingerie and just…argh…' Harry burst out laughing, gaining him some muttered complaints from his dorm mates. Then he had a realization. It was with both a sinking feeling and a strange thrill of excitement.

'AHA! So you are a Slytherin then!'

It was literally the only way he would ever be able to have a friendly conversation with a Slytherin, and that made it strangely exciting and forbidden.

'Damn. It appears I have been caught out. Not very Slytherin of me. Especially by a Gryffindor.'

'Good guess. How'd you know?'

'I didn't. Now I do. I feel some sense of my Slytherin dignity returning.' Harry realized he was grinning again, and felt a little embarrassed. Not wanting to dwell too much on the topic of houses for fear some of the inter-house rivalry would mar the easy conversation, he decided to change the subject, typing as he sat up and swung his legs out of the bed.

'Sleep well, then? Or did you have the same disturbing dreams I had?'

'None, thankfully. Do tell about the dreams, though. It will make me feel less alone in my embarrassment about facing Snape.'

'Just Trelawney…in lingerie…as an erotic dancer. But in the most Trelawney way possible. The entire Hogwarts staff was there, they seemed to be really enjoying it. Dumbledore kept winking at me.'

'Ahahhahaha I can imagine it. I just shuddered visibly. My friends are staring at me, wondering what I'm texting about.'

'It was definitely terrible. I think I'd actually rather Snape had been in the lingerie than Trelawney. That was just scary.'

'Me too. Are you a girl, then, after all? I was getting distinct masculine vibes here.' Harry blushed.

'I didn't mean it that way!' he typed quickly. 'I'm a bloke, thank you very much. So you'd like to see Snape in lingerie?'

'Rather him than Trelawney. Ok. New question. Which teacher in Hogwarts would you most and least want to see in lingerie.'

Harry was fairly sure now it was a girl, and felt oddly disappointed, though he couldn't quite pin it on why. Nevertheless, he typed his response.

'Hm. Now that's a hard one. Least, probably Hagrid. All that hair…just wrong. Most…can we choose past professors? Because none of the current ones are even remotely sexy.'

'No. Current ones only. Choooose!'

'Well…damn. Snape, then, because I've already visualized him enough, it hardly makes a difference. At least he's fit, and not old and wrinkly.'

'Ha ha ha! You kill me. Honestly though, I would choose the same. It wouldn't do much for me, but wouldn't be as scarring as, say…Dumbledore.'

Harry shuddered.

'Now that just makes me uncomfortable. I feel like he would really enjoy it. I think I'll switch from Hagrid.'

'Now imagine him AND Hagrid…'

'NO MORE! Ahhhh. Seriously. You Slytherins are fucked up!'

'What can I say? I'm good with my words. I can titillate, amuse, or scar you for life in one simple phrase!'

'Ok, I'm too curious now. You already know I'm a bloke. Are you a girl?'

'No.'

'I didn't think so,' Harry was relieved. 'Though the part about Snape…'

'Yeah yeah. Let's not go there.'

Harry felt odd, now. He had expected to feel relieved that the easy conversation was with a guy, so he could focus on just having a good friendship, at least until they knew he was Harry Potter, but instead felt a fluttering that he had previously only associated with the girls he'd had a crush on. He put his phone down, suddenly stunned by a revelation.

He had a crush on his mystery text partner.

Thank you for reading! I honestly have no idea how to format these things properly, I'm still new to using the site, so if anyone has suggestions or advice for me both in how I publish and format, and also on the story itself, I would be very happy to receive it!

Yours,

Loony Luiny