Revealing the Harry Potter fandom
I.: Dramione love story.
"Hey Hermione, can I ask you something?" Ron tapped her on the shoulders. She yelped.
"Ahhh, Ronald, how could you?! Heeelp, he is sexually abusing me!" Hermione cried.
Right now Draco Malfoy stormed into the common room. "Hermy, honey, I will rescue you!" he cried while lifting Hermione up with his arms.
"Oh, Drakey, you are sooo hot. Save me from this abuser." Hermione moaned. And with that both of them stormed out of the common room.
Ron just looked after them bewildered. Shortly after that Ron's family and friends stormed in.
"Ron, how could you, sexually abusing Hermione!"
"You should be ashamed!"
"You are no son of mine!"
"You're disowned!"
"How could I be related to someone like you?!"
"Enjoy your life in hell!"
Everyone was shouting uncontrollably through the room. After a few minutes everyone calmed down and stormed out of the common room.
Only Ron was still standing there, totally flabbergasted at what he had just seen.
"Bloody hell, what has just happened?!"
II.: Harry and Ginny soul bond story.
"Ginny, don't worry you're safe now." He had just killed the basilisk and Tom riddles diary.
"Oh Harry, thank you so much. I so love you and your sexy body."
"And I love you, despite you being just Ron's little sister who has creepily stalked me the whole time!"
"Let's get a soul bond!"
"Totally, Gin-Gin!"
Suddenly Ron stormed into the chamber. "Guys, oh I'm so glad I finally found you. Let's go before…" he stopped as he saw Harry and Ginny smooching each other's face off while moaning "Oh, we have such a soul bond." "Oh, Ginny, marry me!"
Ron just stood there flabbergasted. He rubbed his eyes. "Well, time to scratch out my eyes out." he concluded. Then he ran out of the chamber screaming.
III.: Harry Potter adoption story.
The Weasley family, Sirius Black, Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore stormed into the Dursley's house to see a five year old Harry Potter being abused by his uncle.
"Avada Kedavra." His uncle was dead.
"Oh, my Harry, you poor little boy, you must be terrified by those horrible muggls. I will give you the family you've never had." Mrs. Weasley gushed.
"Excuse me! I think I should be the one who adopt him as I'm his godfather!" Sirius cried.
"What, Potter is mine. He is going to be a Snape junior now! I have to teach him the secrets of always having greasy hair and being a social outcast!"
"No, Potter should come with me as I will teach him how to behave like a real gentlemen."
"Harry is mine, bitches! The great Dumbledore spoke!"
"He is mine!"
"No, mine!"
"No, mine!"
"No, mine!"
Harry stared nervously at the arguing crowd as they tried to fight for his adoption.
"Ummm, hello, get I to say something in this?" he asked so innocently as only a small child could.
"NOOOO!" everyone yelled.
Harry backed off from the crazy crowd. This was going to be long day.
IV.: Weasley Bashing story
"Hey, mate how are you doing?" Ron asked Harry who was sitting at the fireplace.
"Ahhh, how could you scare me like that!" Harry cried.
"Well…"
"I hate you! I hate you and your family, despite them being the only family I've had, despite you being my best friend, despite Ginny being my awesome girlfriend, but I have a urge to hate you!"
"Uhh…"
"And you know what. The worst thing is that you are a ginger! You know what ginger are? Right! Soulless! Get away from me you monster!"
"…"
"This is it. I'm going to live with the Malfoys. They are much more nicer, despite them trying to kill me and Draco being a dick to me. At least they are not gingers!" And with that Harry left the common room.
Ron just stared bewildered after Harry, then he sighed. "Why is it always me who gets all the shit?"
V.: The Mary Sue
"Hey, my name is Mary Sue." she introduced herself to the golden trio.
"Hey." Harry greeted. "I'm Harry, that's Hermione and that's Ron. So you're new here at Hogwarts?"
Mary flipped her hair. "Oh yeah, and let me tell you something about me. I'm so great. I'm good at sports, have musical talents, am nice and funny, so incredibly pretty…"
While she was saying this the golden trio was just looking at each other confused.
"Also I'm smart and popular. Yeah, everybody likes me. And I'm gonna go seduce you or the sexy Draco Malfoy and I'm going to be the forth member of your group. I'm so gonna now, that we all gonna be best friends." With that she bent forwards and engulfed the three of them into a hug. The golden trio just stared at her like she was a madwoman.
She broke up from the hug and winked at them. "You're all gonna love me." Then she flipped her hair again and went out of the compartment. Harry, Hermione and Ron just stared at her. Then Ron broke the silence.
"Let's ditch her, alright?"
Harry and Hermione just nodded, then they went back to their earlier conversation.
Bamm! Chapter done! I hope you like my parody of the overdone fanfic plots in Harry Potter. I so hate them. They are just sooo…argh! By the way, I love Harry/Ginny and Romione. I'm just so annoyed by all these soul bond stories. I haven't got all of them. So, guys, please give me some suggestions what I shall do next. I really hope you liked that. Please review. Have a nice day!