Harry the Pirate
DISCLAIMER! I do not own POTC or Harry Potter… Jack Sparrow is so hot!!!
"Alright men-"
"Hmmhmm" Hermione, the beautiful girl captain Harry had been dating for the past few months, cleared her throat loudly.
"And women," Harry said nodding in the girls' direction, "this is the day. All our preparation and training has been leading up to this moment."
"Come on Harry you sound just like Wood." The Weasley twins hollered.
"Ok I'll wrap it up quick. Hemhem where was I…?"
"Preparation, training leading up to this moment yadda yadda yadda" Ron said obviously bored.
"This is the hour; this is what we have been training for these past few weeks. We have worked our fingers to the BONE for this. Those evil Durmstrang bastards don't deserve a ship like that, a ship as beautiful as that needs a proper captain and crew for it to be properly appreciated. That crew is us!"
"YARR!" Everyone shouted. Harry, Hermione, the Weasley children (excluding the three eldest), Lavender Brown, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Blaise Zabini, Lee Jordan, The Creevy Brothers, Seamus Finnegan, Dean Thomas, Pamde and Pavarti Patil, Three Hufflepuffs, and three Ravenclaws had all assembled out in the grounds one hot, sunny day.
Harry turned to look at the ship that would soon be his, his pistols and sword clinking together. The Durmstrang ship was moored far out in the black Lake, its grey sails flapping in the howling wind.
"Now hold up! Hold up!" Harry whipped around to see Lee Jordan holding his hands up.
"Yes Lee."
"Now you see there's one thing I don't understand."
"And what is that?"
"How come Harry gets to be captain?"
"Well- well because I got this crew together that's why."
"What's so special about Harry? Oh I get it. He has a scar and we don't." Lee said, completely ignoring Harry.
"Jordan don't make me hurt you-"
"Come on who's with me? Who thinks there should be a new captain?" a Hufflepuff, two Ravenclaws, and Blaise Zabini all stood behind Lee. Ron, Fred, George, Lavender, Hermione, Luna Lovegood, Neville and a Ravenclaw stood behind Harry.
"Come on Lee I really don't want to fight-"
"Well I do."
"You leave me no choice. Men-"
"Hemhem"
"And women- ATTACK!"
"YARR!"
The two sides clashed and battled with their pirate swords. Harry duelled Lee Jordan while his comrades kept the opposition at bay. Lee lunged at Harry, who quickly dodged and slashed at Lee who almost was too slow before he ducked. They crossed swords and with a quick swipe up Lee's sword Harry disarmed him and pointed his own sword at Lee's neck.
"I surrender please don't hurt me." Lee Jordan cowered on the floor, almost reduced to tears. Harry hesitantly sheathed his shiny sword.
"Turn in your sword and go. You were a shameful excuse for a Pirate." Lee started sobbing and handed his sword to Harry. He quickly turned to run away but before he had even taken two steps Harry had used Lee's sword to cut his pants.
Lee's pin-striped trousers fell around his ankles exposing bunny boxers and causing him to trip. Lee quickly hoisted up his pants and, half stumbled half ran, back up to the castle, the laughter of the rest of the crew echoing after him.
"Alright the rest of you is there anyone who agrees with Lee. Cause if you do you can either leave right now or be like Lee." Blaise Zabini turned and left but other than that no one moved.
"If that's all… great lets go." They all jumped into the awaiting longboats on the beach of the Black lake. Harry, Ron and Hermione hopped in one and rowed out to the Durmstrang ship. Ron itched at the eye patch that covered his right eye.
"Ron didn't I tell you to get rid of that eye patch."
"But I like it!" Ron said indignantly. "It makes me look like I've been in battles. Besides Lavender said it looks sexy."
"Er no. Who the hell would think you're sexy? Did you blind her? Anyway- HEAVE!" They gave another exhausting tug on the oars and eased through the water another few feet. After what seemed like an age of gruelling rowing the crew finally reached the ship.
"Alright crew," Harry whispered quietly to the others, "climb on deck." He watched his crew throw grapple hooks onto the deck and silently climb up.
"You coming Harry?" Ron whispered from halfway up his rope.
"Yeah. I'm just getting a knot out." He said, fiddling with an imaginary knot in his rope. Ron shrugged and continued to climb up the side of the ship. Hermione was about to throw her rope up when Harry's strong arm stopped her. The first cry came from the Durmstrangs and the clinking of swords was heard.
"Harry what are you doing?" She shouted over the battle overhead.
"I want you to stay in the longboat it's not safe here!"
"What?!"
"I cant… I can't lose you." He turned his face to the glistening waters of the lake.
"Harry." She placed a hand on his cheek and turned his face towards her. "I'll stay in the boat… if that's what you really want."
"Thankyou." He pulled her into a tight hug and came out almost reduced to tears.
"What's wrong Harry?" She said rubbing the tears from his eyes.
"If something happens to me you need to know…"
"Need to know what?" she took a step forward.
"I… I… I love you."
"I know you do." Harry pulled her in a passionate, almost desperate kiss. When they finally parted Harry had a determined look on his face.
"Good luck." She said as Harry threw his grapple hook up to join the battle.
"Harry!"
"Yes?"
"You forgot your hat." She put on a brave face and threw Harry's lucky hat to him. It was grey and had three sides, with scarlet phoenix feathers poking out from the right side.
"Thankyou." He placed the hat on his head and disappeared over the railing.
Split scene- Hermione
Hermione held her head in her hands, trying to block out the screams of terror and splashes of bodies falling around her. What am I doing? The only man I will ever love has gone off to get himself killed and what am I doing? Sitting around in a long boat. Man this sucks more than a vacuum cleaner.
Her thoughts rushed around in her head saying things like 'you should go help him' or 'no I made a promise'. She finally made up her mind and moved to the other end of the longboat to get something when something- or someone- landed in the water right next to her, splashing her all over.
She looked over the edge to see a mop of red hair in the water. Ron! Hoorah someone showed the bastard a lesson! She dragged him onto the boat (with great difficulty) and turned him over to see him out cold. She shook him desperately and slapped his face.
His eyes snapped open. She slapped him a few more times for good measure.
"Ron what's happening?"
"Durmstrang turned out to be better fighters than we thought."
"That's it there's no way I'm sitting around here any longer." She said, picking up a sword and grapple hook.
She quickly threw it over and began to climb up.
"Yeah you go girlfriend." Ron said weakly before fainting again.
Split scene- Harry
Harry jumped over the railing of the ship to see his crew in absolute turmoil. He stabbed a Durmstrang that came running towards him and heard the splash with satisfaction. One down twenty more to go. Harry stepped over the dead body of one of the Hufflepuffs of his crew his spirits falling a bit.
He looked to his right where Neville was struggling with a particularly bulky Durmstrang. Harry jumped in right before the Durmstrang decapitated Neville and kicked him overboard.
"Thanks Harry" Neville said taking the hand that Harry had extended to him.
"It's alright Neville next time pick a smaller opponent, like that guy over there." Harry pointed to a scrawny looking fellow on the other side of the deck.
"Oh alright Harry." Neville dashed off. Suddenly Harry heard a familiar shout. He whipped around just in time to see Ron's mop of flaming red hair disappear behind the barrier.
"RON! Well now that I think about it, YES!" He ran to the railing only to be blocked by a giant Durmstrang man, his face in shadow.
"So. That Ronald vas a friend ov yours. Vat a shame." She moved out of the darkness to reveal is face.
"You!" Harry stared into the dark eyes of Viktor Krum.
"Yes me. Now Prepare to die." Krum lunged at Harry, tearing his sleeve off, letting a trickle of fresh blood slide down his arm. Harry's blood boiled as he slashed violently at Krum. But Krum blocked his every slash with obvious ease, grinning as he did so. Then, in fluid movements he disarmed Harry and kicked him to the ground.
He towered over Harry and crunched his hand under his boot. Harry grimaced in pain as he felt every bone in his hand be crushed under the fatty's weight. Krum lifted his sword above his head and in that moment Harry realised it was all over.
He looked into the yes of his future killer and was shocked to see they had glazed over. A pool of blood formed at his chest and Harry just managed to scramble out of the way before Krum keeled over and crashed onto the floor.
A hand was extended to him and he gratefully took it. He looked up into the face of his rescuer. He saw the chocolate brown eyes and bushy hair he knew so well.
"Hermione?"
"Hi Harry." She replied grinning.
"You realise you just killed a guy?"
"Yeah well it serves him right, the bastard."
"Whoa!" Harry shouted and pushed a guy that was coming towards them over the edge. He scanned the gory mess that was his future ship. It was littered with the remains of several Durmstrang fighters.
Harry and his crew (including Ron who had climbed back on board, but with the absence of Dennis Creevy, Padme and Pavarti Patil, and a Ravenclaw) gathered at the corpse of Igor Karkaroff who had stabbed himself at the very mention of danger (the coward). Harry grabbed his hat from the ground and placed it crookedly on his head.
"The ship is ours!" He bellowed followed by several cheers from his crew. "But first, we must take a moment to honour our dead. They will all be sorely missed." Harry counted to three under his breath, "Now, hoist anchor!"
Harry stood at the bow staring out at the lake that would eventually lead to open ocean. Hermione crept under his arm, settling her head on his shoulder.
"Hello." Harry said.
"Hello." She replied and kissed him, this time more gently. Harry grinned when they pulled apart and placed his hat on Hermione's head.
He looked over at the edge of the boat and spotted Ron, BASTARD!
"Hey Ron, you were supposed to die over there. Thanks for ruining the party!"
"My bad, Harry." And with that Ron jumped over the edge and died, again. (coz he like kinda died before in) MUAHAHAH
"Faster crew! Bring me that horizon… na na na na na na na na na na…and really bad eggs Drink up me hearties YO HO!"
YAY!!