Author: Otaku Neko Ninja Miko Tenshi
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine; however, I own all original work. Any challenges belong to their specified creators.
—Written for the "Twister Challenge"; "Open Category Challenge"; "Greek Mythology Mega Prompt Challenge"; "Pick a Card, Any Card Challenge"; "THE FLOOR IS LAVA! (competition)"; and "The Chocolate Frog Card Trading Challenge"—
Warning: Prison!AU, Muggle!AU. OOC due to the aforementioned. A nod at abuse, crime, drug jokes and foul language.
Sometimes, Albus Dumbledore hated his job.
Clapping his hands together, the aged man glanced around the circle of teenagers that he'd created.
"Welcome to your first day of counselling at Hogwarts Detainment Center for Troubled Youths," he greeted warmly "Let's start by introducing ourselves, shall we? My name is Dr. Dumbledore."
'Here we go...'
A scoff came from the opposite side of the ring. "Dumbledore? What kind of cracked-up name is that?"
In spite of the remark, Albus's blue eyes twinkled over his half-moon spectacles as he smiled at the origin of the insult. A slouching sixteen-year-old met his gaze.
"How about you go first, young man?"
The boy stared boredly back with brilliant emerald-green eyes, slumped in his chair with arms crossed over his chest and silent refusal to answer. Albus waited patiently, holding eye contact before the male grimaced.
"Harry," he said shortly. Waiting a moment, Dumbledore waved his hand in prompt. "Harry Potter."
A loud, snorting laugh. Harry whipped around; "What's so funny?!"
A bright-haired boy the same age didn't bother to hide his grin, rocking back in his chair to swing on the two hind legs. "What'd ya think, genius? It's kinda obvious isn't it… pothead?"
Chortles rose from everyone, rising in volume at the furious look on Harry's face. Dumbledore made passive gestures, murmuring "Now, now…"'s under his breath as he kept a careful eye on Harry's tightening fist and rage-coloured ears.
The conversation soon escalated.
"Say that about my mum again, you ginger bastard!" Harry shouted, legs stiff and body looking as though it was ready to launch out of his seat. The aforementioned redhead dropped back onto all six legs at the comment about his hair colour.
"Why, you…" he growled, before his head snapped forward at a hard slap to the upside of his skull.
The quiet brunette who had been sat next to him dropped her hardback book back into her lap, having smacked the male's scalp with it seconds ago.
"Can't you see that I'm trying to read here?" she hissed, scowling as she flipped her frizzy ponytail back over her shoulder. "Some of us are here for therapy, and I happen to find the history of this place to be fascinating as well as relaxing."
Dumbledore nodded in her direction. "Thank you, miss. What is your name?"
Frowning as she looked to find her lost page, the girl gave a curt, "Hermione Granger, sir." The inmate who she had silenced opened his mouth to deliver a scathing retort, but he flinched at the sharp look from Albus and shut his trap.
"Ron Weasley," he muttered, looking away and shoving his hands under his armpits. The doctor nodded approvingly.
"Interruptions aside, let's go around the rest of the circle."
A Neville, Padma, Luna, Crabbe, Goyle and assorted background names later, Dumbledore moved onto their reason for being here. "The first step to justice is to establish what went wrong."
Harry didn't hesitate to answer. "My guardians were being abusive assholes, so one day I just got sick and beat them up with a stick." He chuckled "My cousin has a tail-shaped scar now, the fucking pig. A shame that the stick broke, though - they used to call it my wand, the freaks."
Dumbledore had to raise an eyebrow at that; the crime wasn't the worst that he'd heard, but the detail at the end was interesting to say the least.
"How about you, Ron?" the older man inquired. The Weasley had been trying to sink into his chair, and when addressed, his face flared red. He murmured something under his breath. Dumbledore not having heard, he asked for a repeat to the same result.
"Oh, speak up you wuss!" Hermione cut in. Ron glared hotly at her, turning to stare at her lap.
"I stole some milk, there!" he blurted "My family was out, and I didn't have the money on me to buy any."
Unsympathetic, Hermione rolled her eyes. It being her turn, she looked Dumbledore dead in the eyes and said, "That's information that I'd rather not disclose to this group, thank you. I call on my human rights of privacy."
Dumbledore blinked, startled, but nodding slowly. "So be it."
Ron leapt to his feet. "Hey, how come I'm not allowed to do that?!"
Hermione looked up at him, unamused. "Uh, news flash, you can." Her brown eyes glinted in distaste. "All you had to do was repeat what I said."
Orange eyebrows creasing, Ron's arms dropped to his side. "I, um, summon something about human rights, act of privacy. Yeah!"
Face-palming, Hermione wordlessly went back to reading. Confused, Ron turned to Dumbledore, but just as he was about to explain the problem gently, Harry spoke up. "Too bad you've already told us, dumbass!"
Sighing lightly, Dumbledore smiled dryly at the apologetic look young Neville shot him. Watching the cycle continue, Dumbledore massaged his temples. 'I should have taken that job at Azkaban or even St. Mungo's; disturbed adults and mentally-ill patients are easier to handle than teenage delinquents.'
Then again…
That afternoon, watching the three of them eat lunch together in a soothing calm (albeit begrudgingly), Dumbledore couldn't help but name their little group.
'Together, they make the Golden Trio.'
(Word count: 910)
*Chosen prompts: Right Hand Yellow (Prison!AU); defined AU; Uranus (write something completely AU); Ace of Clubs (write about an aggressive person); entry, Couch Cushion 2 (friendship and calm)*
Ohmygod this is so rushed and it makes no sense without context whyyyy.
So, um, yeah. This is my fourth HP fic, and I don't think I'm getting better to be honest ._. Hopefully this is just a phase, since I had to finish this up sharpish to meet the deadline ^^' (If my chin would just stop bleeding...)
A chocolate-craver,
-ONNMT