I do not own One Piece.
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Beta read by the wonderful rose7anne101, who has a much more in depth and thought-out version of this sort of story.
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Guest Review answers :-D
Guest (please choose name/nickname next time )
Ace handling those Straw Hat imposters would just have ended in fire and screaming :-P
Glad you had so much fun with the bureaucracy!
Here is the newest chapter, and I hope it was worth the wait! Looking forward to hearing your newest thoughts! :-D
Thank you for your Review and Support! :-D
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Awesomedude
Well dude, it is awesome to hear you say that ;-P
Here is the newest chapter, and I hope it was worth the wait! Looking forward to hearing your newest thoughts! :-D
Thank you for your Review and Support! :-D
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SargentEpsilon
LOL glad I played the plot twist so well! :-D
Here is the newest chapter, and I hope it was worth the wait! Looking forward to hearing your newest thoughts! :-D
Thank you for your Review and Support! :-D
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Rin
Even worse than a child of Luffy and Hancock would be TWINS! D-X
LOL I love that bit here with Dadan and her need for grandkids! X-D Thanks for that, and in return, here is the newest chapter, and I hope it was worth the wait! Looking forward to hearing your newest thoughts! :-D
Thank you for your Review and Support! :-D
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Gold
Yeah, I had a lot of fun writing that Roger chapter too. I might re-write it one day with our new info about the Roger Pirates.
Not sure I would expand upon the bit with Crocodile as Luffy's mom, but honestly how could I resist putting that there!? X-P
Here is the newest chapter, and I hope it was worth the wait! Looking forward to hearing your newest thoughts! :-D
Thank you for your Review and Support! :-D
.
Guest (please choose name/nickname next time )
LOL I love that reaction to learning it is Dadan who showed up! I had SO much fun with that reveal! X-D
Here is the newest chapter, and I hope it was worth the wait! Looking forward to hearing your newest thoughts! :-D
Thank you for your Review and Support! :-D
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Ace Lives
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Warning: Spoilers for latest One Piece chapters.
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"Here I come, ACCCCCEEEE!" yelled 'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy as he leapt off of Whitebeard's ship to charge into the fray to rescue his brother.
Meanwhile, his friends and allies from Impel Down were all still stunned at how he treated the one they called the Strongest Man in the World as an equal. They were all regarding him with fear, and doing their best not to get the attention of the Emperor.
Aloud, Whitebeard considered the brat's information on how Ace's execution had been moved ahead. "So they don't feel the need to follow their own schedule when it comes to us pirates, eh? But the key here is that they need to prepare something."
"Pops!" A figure landed beside him in a flurry of blue flame, revealing his trusty right-hand, Marco the Phoenix. "I heard over the Navy radio that they're gonna execute Ace ahead of schedule!"
"Yes I heard." And yet Whitebeard merely grinned, looking directly at the far distant figure of Fleet Admiral Sengoku. "But stay calm. Letting us get that information was part of the plan. Allowing us to know his intention is a mistake . . . he'd never make!"
As if in answer, the sky above rumbled.
Wait.
Ignoring the ongoing battlefield, he craned his head up to see large dark clouds approaching Marineford.
"They're moving against the wind," Marco tensely observed.
"Yes," frowned Whitebeard. He glanced at the marines, only to see those noticing appeared confused as well. While the rank and file might not be informed, this still seemed . . .off for Sengoku. Unfortunately, he and the other highest ranking marines were too far away to get a read on.
Purple lightning crackled from the clouds now as they came to an unnatural stop above the southern side of Marineford, by the 'arm' of the bay other than the one Oars Jr. had broken a hole through.
Winds blew out for kilometers from it as the darkness funneled into itself, and the fighting came to a halt as everyone stopped to stare at the sky.
Except for a lone figure who only briefly paused as he made his way to his brother.
More bolts flashed, now highlighting a monstrous and enormous face in the sky, far larger than that of any of the giants present, or even Oars'. And attached to that face . . .
Two hands of blue scales and four talons descended first, spiked bracers upon the arms. A fanged and horned head followed, leading a snakelike body which could be seen twisting and moving throughout the storm he had brought with him, kilometers long. A dragon, the most powerful of all the Zoan Devil Fruits, consumed by a legend to nearly equal Whitebeard's own.
Kaidou, another of the Pirate Emperors.
People often say "If it's one-on-one, Kaido will win." On land, sea, and air . . . among all living things, he is a pirate who is known as the "Strongest Creature!"
The marines screamed in terror, while the pirates stiffened in fear. Whitebeard gripped his Murakumogiri tighter in genuine concern. When they had heard a certain red-haired brat had moved to stop this monster from reaching Whitebeard and his crew, he had felt a touch of gratitude. Unfortunately it was clear he was not up to the task after all.
"HOLD!" roared the massive dragon.
Before the assembled armies, the dragon shifted and shrank, becoming a horned, muscular man towering over all others. At his side appeared three other titanic figures; his top lieutenants, the Disasters. Disembarking from ships which inexplicably appeared behind them, were other famed pirates, recognized by their own staggeringly high bounties.
"Kaidou!" hissed Sengoku, a bead of sweat running down his forehead. Their trap was for Whitebeard, yet the Governor-General of the Beast Pirates could literally fly over it. To say nothing of his own, terrible power. Moreover, to bring all his forces like this to Marineford was tantamount to a declaration of war. "I thought Red Hair stopped him!"
Speak of the infuriating nuisance, and he shall appear. Even from so far away, he somehow still conveyed an easy casualness as he ambled up in front of the crowds to stand before Kaidou.
'Red Haired' Shanks.
Now there were three Pirate Emperors present.
"To answer the question I'm sure everyone has," Shanks called out, by some trick his voice carrying across the whole island, "yes I did sail out to intercept Kaidou. However once he explained the situation to me, well, I just had to let him by, and even come help him."
Rigid discipline kept Sengoku from reacting, yet he knew many of his marines were starting to panic now. After all, three Emperors was beyond even the most insane of nightmares, especially if two of them were explicitly and inexplicably cooperating.
(He painfully fought to resist even thinking of the possibility of Big Mom to show up next.)
But why!? The Kaidou and Red Hair had nothing in common as far as the Fleet Admiral knew. He had always been under the impression the two men despised each other!
For that matter, Whitebeard was supposed to hate Kaidou too, and barely tolerate Red Hair!
"Right!" boomed out Kaidou, hefting his massive kanabo club, and pointing it towards the Execution Scaffold. To those familiar with him, they could tell he was stone-cold sober, which meant he was both at his most canny and irritable. "I am here to claim 'Fire Fist' Ace!"
Breaths caught across Marineford, and silence fell, before with a massive BOOM Whitebeard drew all attention to him by slamming down the butt of his halberd. "And by what right," he growled out, "do you lay claim to my son!? You, who already murdered my little brother!?"
"Bah! I have every right! But out of respect for you as a pirate, and my former crewmate, I will let you attend the wedding ceremony!"
"The what!?" barked the confused Whitebeard.
"YOU HEARD ME! HE'S GOING TO MAKE AN HONEST MAN OUT OF MY SON AFTER GETTING HIM PREGNANT!"
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
. . .
"WHAT!?" shouted all the marines, Revolutionaries, and other pirates as one. (Alright, again, there was one exception). They were so shocked, a stunned silence was briefly held before someone else was heard by all.
"The demon spawn has a child!?"
"The blood of the Pirate King—!"
"But with Kaidou!?"
"Only worse!"
"Wait! Wait, he said 'son!'"
"Huh!?"
"Wait…"
"How can you have a child between two men!?"
"Is this a joke!?"
"Kaidou wouldn't joke—"
All further speculation was silenced as one particular voice cut through the rest.
"Y-Yamato is pregnant!?" shrieked a pale-faced Ace. "B-but I! We didn't! How!? WHAT!?"
For Sengoku, while as surprised as everyone else, did not lose his ability for analytical thinking. The pirate brat's reaction was not 'how could I have gotten a man pregnant?,' it was 'how could I have gotten that person pregnant?'—implying this 'son of Kaidou' could be made pregnant. Given how many Devil Fruits could make the 'impossible' possible, and the existence of okama, and other stuff he prefers not to get into. Nor explain how he knew about said 'things.' So instead he acted like a perfectly unflappable Fleet Admiral and just rolled with it.
This is the worst case scenario we feared if we didn't act, the Fleet Admiral grimly knew. The son—children of both the Pirate King and the World's Strongest Creature having a baby of their own. Who knows what kind of monster will be born from such a union!? What if they have more kids!?
For the sake of the world and Justice, at all costs both Fire Fist and this previously unknown 'son of Kaidou' must die today. Whatever the cost.
Meanwhile, Garp was busy wrapping his head around the idea he was now a great-grandfather. There was steam coming out of his ears, and you could practically hear rusty gears slipping and sliding in his head as they tried to catch.
Behind their boss and the Disasters, some of the Flying Four (because of how many they had right now) were holding up massive signs for all to read.
Page One's said: "SORRY ABOUT THIS CONFUSION!"
His sister Ulti's: "WE'RE NOT REALLY SORRY, BUT YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN!"
Who's Who (someone else who particularly needed to die) sneered, and hefted up: "HONESTLY, WE GET WHAT THIS SOUNDS LIKE."
Towering over her fellows, and with a mysterious smile, Black Maria waved hers a little, which read: "BUT THERE REALLY IS A REASONABLE EXPLANATION FOR ALL THIS."
The final placard was unwavering despite being held by a single hand, and even from so far away where the figure was barely identifiable, Sengoku could absolutely feel the smug look on Red Hair' face.
His proclaimed to the world: "I REGRET NOTHING."
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With a loud click, Whitebeard closed his previously hanging jaw, and planted his face in one massive hand. "Of course," he groaned.
Marco bopped one fist into his other palm. "So that's why Ace was so desperate to return to Wano. Why didn't he just tell us-yoi?"
"I knew he was lying about not liking all those mushy romance books!" declared Jozu, as he and several other Divisions Commanders had regrouped with their Captain. "This sounds like a classic story!"
"I dunno," said Izo, "it doesn't sound like he knew she, I mean he—" The crossdresser frowned in self-recrimination. "The whole pregnancy thing makes this confusing. Anyways, I don't think Ace knew about the baby. I mean, surely he'd have trusted us with that, right?"
"Huh," Marco scratched his chin in though. "Uhm, I'd hate to say this, buuuuut, Ace does know about, well, where babies come from, right?" Everyone but Pops turned to give him appalled looks, and he raised his hands defensively. "I'm just saying, we all know there's things he's pretty ignorant about. I mean, he still hasn't given us a straight answer as to whether or not he grew up in the forest wild, or a garbage pit, was raised by bandits, or by his marine grandfather. And we all know he doesn't get how attractive people find him. So . . . yeah-yoi."
For a long, precious minute, the Whitebeard Pirates just stared at the First Division Commander, before digging the heels of their palms into their foreheads.
One way or another, after this was all over, they were going to have words with their favourite brother. They might even use slides.
The poor man in question was still trying to reboot his brain so he would stop spouting gibberish. He was also fumbling at trying elementary math, and trying to remember how many months there were to childbirth. He was cursing himself for not paying closer attention to Makino's lessons, or when Sengoku had mentioned it in relation to his mom.
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The reporters on the Sabaody Archipelago were screaming into their Den-Den Mushi as they tried to convey to their bosses back home this latest development.
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Emporio Ivankov, the Queen of the Kamabakka Kingdom, and a Commander of the Revolutionary Army, was having a long day.
He was going to book a spa day for his Candy Boys and himself. They all deserved it.
First the whole break-into Impel Down by Straw Boy, the heroism of his recovery, learning his father was Dragon's kid, breaking out, and now this!? Dragon's older son knocked up an Emperor's kid!?
And he still refused to even consider the possible complications of said oldest son being adopted by Whitebeard of all people. Given both halves of the pirate's reputation, that could be either really, really good for the Revolutionary Army, or very, very terrible.
(It should be noted Luffy never actually got around to telling Ivankov and Co. a small, slight detail about Ace's parentage . . .)
The only silver lining here was that Ivankov would be able to go out shopping for baby clothes for his 'esteemed leader's' grandbaby. And he already had just the right outfit in mind. Unlike everyone else in the family (except possibly Yamato, for whom Ivankov would withhold judgment until seeing them), this baby will be the bomb of fashion!
"What is with this family!?" he muttered aloud, with his Candy Boys nodding along.
"Well, look at it this way," said Inazuma, his trusty right-hand. "Imagine how frustrated you'd have been in prison, trying to get details of what was going on?"
"Hah!" scoffed Ivankov. "You've got that right!" A pause, and then he twisted his massive head around. "Where's Straw-boy? I'd have thought he'd be overjoyed to be an uncle?"
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"BY RIGHTS, FIRE FIST, I SHOULD REND YOU LIMB FROM LIMB!" roared Kaidou, having grown tired of bleating of sheep, and Fire Fist's refusal to confess his crimes. "IT IS ONLY FOR MY SON'S SAKE I'M LETTING YOU LIVE TO DO THIS! SO YOU WILL DO THE HONOURABLE THING HERE, EVEN IF IT KILLS YOU! BAH! AND YOU WERE WEAK ENOUGH TO BE CAPTURED EVEN! A DISGRACE!"
Now everyone, including the Beast Pirates, were getting confused as to whether or not Kaidou was really here to save Ace to take to the wedding, or to save him from the marines since they weren't allowed to kill him when the Emperor was already planning to do it himself.
Honestly, Ace was still too busy trying to wrap his head around these revelations to really register the threats. Oh, and then his day somehow managed to impossibly get worse as his gramps hopped up onto the platform with him. Well, at least now it could not get any—he cut off that line of thought before Fate took it as a personal challenge. She hated him enough already.
. . . On second thought, he might be a little late, as the old man expression somehow took on a whole new level of 'crazed and demented' than he could remember.
"I've a great grand-baby," Garp murmured to himself in wonder. "Maybe this one I can convince to become a marine. Yes, yes. No more mollycoddling by leaving with bandits, and telling 'em what to do, I'll raise them on my own ship. Take with me to sink pirates to show how it's done. Let 'em teeth on cannonballs. Ooh, I bet those boring old meetings would be much more fun with a toddler along!"
. . . Ace would not trust Gramps to raise a pet rock, much less his own kids. He would trust Luffy more to raise a healthy, sane baby!
Luffy!
. . . LUFFY!? Wildly Ace's eyes darted around, but he could not see his brother in the crowd, yet dared not call out to him. Fortunately Sengoku had not blurted out who Luffy's father was, as that would indeed be right up Fate's alley.
A sharp slap to his head brought him back to the platform.
"—ignore me when I'm talking to you!" raged Gramps. "Why didn't you tell me about this!?"
"Why would I, you senile old geezer!?" shot back Ace.
"I can't believe you've been keeping secrets from me!
Ace nearly snapped back that part of the reason he had gone to sea in the first place was to get away from one Vice-Admiral Garp, but even for him that would be needlessly cruel. So he swallowed those words, and instead said, "Oh and how would've I done that, huh!? Send you a postcard from the Moby Dick!?"
"You could've done it if you were a marine!"
"And then how would've I met Yamato!?"
"So you did do it! Ah! Kids! You try to raise them right, give them lots of affection, only then they run away from home without a word, and get themselves into trouble, and don't call to tell you the important stuff!"
"Garp," snapped Sengoku with cold fury, "you've no room to talk about secrets, and stop bickering with criminals!"
Both blinked at this blatant interruption into their Monkey Family Time. How rude could you get!? Even pirates had better standards than that!
"I don't need you two blathering in my ear while I'm listening!"
Belatedly they realized though that both Kaidou and Whitebeard had advanced on each other so there was only a trifling hundred meters between them, and you could almost literally see the two Emperors shooting daggers and lightning at each other from their eyes. Clearly they wanted this up close and personal, without yelling across the battlefield.
"I've made you a generous offer, Whitebeard," glowered Kaidou, somehow still heard even to where Ace and the two old marines were. "But if you refuse to take this seriously—"
"Oh?" interrupted Whitebeard with an evil grin. "And why should I take seriously . . . a hammock wetting brat?"
Kaidou sucked in a horrified breath. "YOU SWORE YOU WOULDN'T TELL!"
"GURARARARARARARA!"
"You lying backstabber! I paid you good money for your silence!"
"Pirate," said Whitebeard flatly, before swelling up in fury, "And you shouldn't have killed my brother!"
"You didn't even deserve a man like him!"
The ground rumbled and shook, waves rose up carrying panicking ships, and the whole island seemed to tilt at the power of the Quake-Quake Fruit.
Worst of all, Whitebeard never even moved, just standing stiff with a look of pure murder.
"And what," he hissed, it carrying over the heavy silence, "would you know about Oden? You, who had him shot like the coward you truly are!"
"'Coward!?'" repeated a stung Kaidou. No one call him a coward! He literally tried to commit suicide as a hobby!
"You heard me! The whole crew knew it, back when we sailed together under Rocks D. Xebec!"
Most of the marines and revolutionaries gasped at this 'revelation,' even while quietly asking themselves about that name. They had never heard about such a pirate, much less that two Emperors had once sailed together. Sengoku was mentally cursing, because he was well aware Whitebeard knew the World Government had spent years covering up everything on that particular pirate, and now the masses would be asking questions again about that. And there would be people alive who still remembered the Rocks Pirates and their terrifying captain, and would start answering . . .
Except if they cut the Den-Den Mushi right now, it might make things worse, since it would be too blatant they were trying to hide something. Plus, his own sense of duty compelled him to be sure that if the worst happened here, the people of the world would have at least some measure of warning.
"Oh really," leered Kaidou. "Well we used to laugh about you too. Like how much time you spent conditioning your long, gorgeous hair in the mirror every morning! Or threw up every time Shiki levitated the ship over an obstacle!"
"You really want to play this game?" growled Whitebeard. "Like all those times you set your hair on fire while trying to look intimidating!"
"Oh I'll play! How do you think Linlin would react if she knew you were the one that stole all her chocolates she saved for her next period, and her extra-size tampon pads because you had a certain rash?"
"What!? How'd—well you were the one who slipped into her room for a panty raid while drunk, and vomited all over her bed!"
"That was John!"
"The first time, not the second!"
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Off in the New World, Charlotte 'Big Mom' Linlin, the fourth and last Pirate Emperor of the Seas, was enraptured with what was coming out of the special Den-Den Mushi relaying what was happening at Marineford.
Or more precisely, what her agent on Sabaody was seeing and hearing on the broadcast Navy HQ was sending them. Around her were her top children, all her Sweet Commanders and Ministers, hanging onto every word.
Perospero, Katakuri, and Mont-d'Or, were all pouring over maps to assess which islands would be best to hit while all her rivals were away. They had to handle this carefully, given how the situation at Marineford was still in flux, but at least they would have plans in place for various scenarios, and their fleets were already preparing to sail.
"Whitebeard. You really want to play this game? Like all those times you set your hair on fire while trying to look intimidating.
"Kaidou. Oh I'll play. How do you think Linlin . . . uuhhmm . . ."
Her complexion darkening as the man reporting to them trailed off, Big Mom was about to snap at the fool to continue, when Oven leaned towards the Den-Den to handle it. "We don't shoot the messenger unless they fail to deliver!" he threatened. "What did he say!?"
"Er, he accused Whitebeard, of . . ."
"Spit it out!"
"Stealing Big Mom's chocolates meant for her period, and tampons, which he basically admitted to. And then Whitebeard said—"
The Den-Den collapsed into a frothing mess as Big Mom screamed to the heavens, and then surged forward, trampling over her own children to ram straight through the wall in a crazed, berserker mess.
"Has she gone mad!?"
"No!" cried Smoothie. "It's one of her Hunger Pangs!"
"CHOCOLATE!" roared the monster they loved and feared in confirmation.
"But, but which chocolates!?" wailed Perospero. "She must want the ones Whitebeard ate years ago! Which brand was it!?"
"She may want to go to war over this insult," warned Katakuri, even their usually perfectly composed brother had a single drop of sweat on his forehead.
"Pfft!" snorted Smoothie. "As we should!" All her sisters firmly nodded in agreement behind her.
Struggling to balance between handling this emergency and not being black listed, Perospero said as diplomatically as he could manage, "We'll worry about that later! Pudding! We need chocolate!"
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Among the Seven (well, Four, given who was actually in attendance) Warlords, things were also getting interesting.
Doflamingo was sweating bullets and trying to hide it, due to the awkward position of how both of his 'masters' were in attendance. His position as one of Warlords was dependent upon his value to the Navy as a human weapon, and while he had a lot of leeway with that, and blackmail against the Celestial Dragons themselves, Sengoku, Garp, Tsuru, and the Admirals would cheerily dispose of him on the spot if he became a liability. Which was unfortunate as he was also secretly a close 'business partner' with Kaidou, enjoying both the Emperor's quiet protection, and a customer with very expensive needs. If he failed to provide support to the unruly Emperor, then he might lose said favour. Or the monster might even publicly give Doflamingo commands.
Moriah was having a panic attack at the sight of the man who had killed his precious crew, and had for all intents and purposes broken his spirit.
Kuma just stared blankly, his new computer-like mind silently, and dispassionately processing this.
Finally, Hancock was blushing and giggling at the idea of how Luffy was an uncle now, and how seeing his baby niece might want him to have babies of his own. . . . She was a little unsure of the exact mechanics of how that worked, yet was aware it was something husbands and wives produced together, and that was all that mattered.
Hawkeye was ordering a hapless marine to run off and get him some popcorn, so he could enjoy the unfolding show more.
The poor marine was afraid to ask how popcorn was supposed to win them the war, but what did he know.
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In reality, Luffy was honestly not too concerned about the whole issue; he might be an uncle right now. That was an issue for Future Luffy, which Present Luffy rarely worried about.
Especially when right now getting his brother out alive was a bigger concern.
Thankfully all the marines were too distracted to really even notice his wiggling through the crowd. The few who did react, were quickly distracted by the newest twist of gossip.
A pity he had ended up leaving Jinbe and Iva behind though.
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Meanwhile the two Emperors were still going at it, with their crews becoming increasingly embarrassed, but unable to bring themselves to intervene out of a sort of horrified fascination.
Not even the marines were doing anything, just standing there watching like it was two ships about to collide, and knowing there was nothing you could do to stop it.
Either way though, none of them would be able to look at either Emperor (or Big Mom for that matter) the same way again.
Apparently, if the increasingly vicious tales and insults were to be believed, among the Rocks Pirates:
Shakky had spread a rumour with Kaidou that Big Mom was secretly a transsexual who had been born as a man, and that all her kids were really adopted. And that the real reason Big Mom ended up having so many children was solely to disprove this.
Due to a lost bet, Kaidou spent two months calling Big Mom 'big sis.'
Whitebeard had tried teaching Kaidou proper mustache grooming lessons, but was such a pants at it, that Kaidou had given up and never really tried again.
There was something about a Davy Back Fight, only for Whitebeard to firmly cut him off, and even Kaidou backpedaled on it.
("We don't talk about the Davy Back, Kaidou. We agreed on that. You signed the pact.")
Before their captain found out and put his foot down (on their necks), there was a weekly game where the rest of the crew drew lots, and the loser had to do something to infuriate Garp, and flee to survive. In fact, it was called 'Surviving Garp.'
(A bunch of certain incidents suddenly made perfect sense to a particular vice-admiral.)
Kaidou had framed Big Mom for an incident, and Rocks had nearly killed her for it, so to keep her from killing him, the younger pirate had gotten her so many sweets the ship started to sink. So she ended up eating them all in one go . . . and they kept sinking.
Due to the stakes of a particularly nasty and high-stakes poker game, Whitebeard ended up wearing Big Mom's clothes and make-up, with Shakky 'helpfully' applying the latter. She apparently also had secretly taken pictures after all.
Early on, the crew had, because of how much time Kaidou had spent obsessively cleaning and shining his horns, nicknamed him 'Horny.' It had taken him killing several people before they stopped.
Supposedly Kaidou had an irrational fear of fishermen, while Whitebeard stridently denied his phobia of mirrors.
(The Whitebeard Pirates tried to remember if Pops had any in his cabin.)
Despite already being a veteran sailor, when it was Whitebeard's night to cook (because he had killed the previous one), Whitebeard had gotten sugar and salt mixed up, baking powder and baking soda too, and still undercooked the meat.
("I don't want to hear this from someone who thought sweetbreads is a dessert!")
("Not my fault! Who names veal after bread!?")
Whitebeard sang to Murakumogiri to sleep every night.
Then there was the time Whitebeard brought up how everybody else on the crew had gotten to style Kaidou's hair for a month, only to be eagerly reminded he had lost the same bet.
All in all, this was increasingly becoming less of a 'war to decide the future of the world,' and more of an 'incredibly awkward family meeting, where everyone watching just wishes they could go home.'
Meanwhile, both King and Marco, the resident 'sane, right-hand men for gossiping lunatics,' were quietly communicating by a mixture of sign language and charades. Because if they were going to have to do something as insane as plan for . . .
*Shudder*
. . . family dinners amongst the in-laws, well, some preparation was better than nothing.
In theory.
That said, neither of them were willing yet to even touch the issue of a wedding. The fight alone over which son would be the groom, and which would be the bride (because of course the fathers would fight over that) would probably destroy an island or three.
. . . How was this their life?
Marco was sooooooooo going to get Ace back, solely so he could get back at him!
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Back home on Onigashima, right by Wano, the Beast Pirates who had been left behind by Kaidou were frantically hoping he took as long as possible to get back.
His parting order had been to "Get the best wedding possible ready!"
Yes, their Governor-General had been utterly plastered at the time, except orders were orders, whether he was drunk or not.
The man had not even said what type of wedding he wanted! Plus he took Black Maria with him! She was the one you asked for stuff like this! Oh sure, her personal subordinates had been left behind, only for them to skip out to Wano for some 'important jobs' their boss had supposedly given them last minute, providing plausible deniability to not be present if Kaidou came back in a killing mood if everything was not 'perfect.'
What did that even mean!?
Usually they were all perfectly impressed with the man's palace/fortress, with touches like all the oni, kitsune, and dragon statues, or the enormous katana, or the water works. The skull dome only added to the aesthetic. Except that was for when they were 'just' being pirates. What was appropriate for a wedding!?
Remove the oni statues, or add more because Fire Fist would be joining an army of self-professed beasts? What did dragons symbolize for Wano again exactly? Should they really do the wedding here in Master Yamato's home, or do it elsewhere for a new venue?
This was not their job! They were paid to fight and kill, not whatever this was! Okay, so they were not exactly 'paid' if they stopped to think about it. More like free room and board, meals, and whatever they could stuff into their pockets during raids. The guys on Wano proper tended to get more loot, while the bulk of it went into the shared coffers of Kaidou and the Beast Pirates as a whole, with their leader dividing out shares to his best people. Except thinking about that was painful, and made them want to get drunk, except that would only get them killed here and now, so best to repress all that until later.
After some dithering and panicking, some Headliner had gotten the bright idea to hire a professional wedding advisor from the Flower Capital, only for that waste of space Orochi to come along to lead the procession. Technically he was only supposed to come here once a year, but the guy snuck out of his palace since he really wanted to use this to get deeper into Kaidou's good books, and the people left in charge had been too desperate to refuse. Now they wished they had, they really, truly did.
Everything the 'shogun' said was total nonsense, and all the Beast Pirates who had to deal with his nattering were secretly fantasizing about serving the newlyweds a first course made up of fried dragon heads . . .
Thankfully a miracle had arrived with the mad man, in the forms of Kyoshiro and Komurasaki, who had accompanied Orochi. The yakuza boss and oiran had thrown themselves right into the work, and were actually making some genuine progress. With a little cajoling, they had gotten a tour of most of the fortress to figure out where everything should go.
Komurasaki had adorably insisted they use the roof for the ceremony, and those literate had been fighting to ignore her beauty as they jotted down her brilliant ideas. Definitely enough space for everyone, with a clever use of having Kaidou and the Disaster sitting at the back so everyone else could still see the ceremony, without fatally insulting them. Doing it at night with floating, multicolored lanterns sounded amazing, and they were pretty sure they knew where they could get the butterflies from. They would also have to test to see if it would work shooting up fireworks from the ground just high enough so that the light of them would reach the top, but not the noise.
Surely Master Yamato would love it!
Meanwhile, Kyoshiro had helped them with more practical details, laying out questions the pirates had not previously considered properly Stuff like estimates of how many Beast Pirates they would need to feed for this place, the general crew hierarchy and temperaments so they could sit everyone without incident, places for guests in case the Whitebeard Pirates did come to some agreement after all, etc.
With those two, things were falling into place despite Orochi's . . . everything.
They might even pull this off in time!
Thank the gods and seas for such a dependable pair like Kyoshiro and Komurasaki! They would have to make sure the couple got an invite as well.
-0-0-0-
"—not a sexist like you are! Women are free to fight in my crew! They do it just as well as any man! While you just let Whitey Bay and a few fat hags do it!"
"Oh sure they can fight, after you beat them within an inch of their lives and threaten to kill them if they don't!"
"I'm a pirate! At least I'm honest about it, Mr. Daddy-Issues! Going around and adopting all those scrubs without having one of your own! Or was Linlin right and you're castrated!? My money's on Bakkin doing it."
"Pah! Like you could raise a good son! What, is this Yamato as terrified of you as the rest?"
"My son is braver than you'll ever know! Not a lick of fear, no matter how many times I beat him senseless for being stupid!"
"Hah! I bet he's just speaking up against you, and you're too insecure—!"
"Well," grunted Garp to Sengoku, back on the Execution Scaffold. "This was not how I expected my day to go. You?"
The sound of grinding teeth was his friend's only response. Honestly, he knew by this point not even Senny was truly paying attention. They had gone from a dramatic execution and carefully prepared trap, to a horror show when two more Emperors showed up, and now what appeared to be some sort of penny-dreadful story like the ones Garp routinely confiscated from sailors if they were slacking off. Or if he had not read that particular one yet.
Although it had been interesting to learn how Kaidou had gotten sick the first time he got drunk, because he had then downed a whole barrel of what he thought was more sake, only to discover it was vinegar. Or how Shiki and Whitebeard were apparently terrible poker players who had kept losing their clothes in gambling with others, and then had to steal them back.
Despite the comedy, or farce, whatever the right word was, Garp still kept a close eye on that Red Hair brat. So far he was content to just sit back in the sidelines, enjoying the old men making fools of themselves. At first it had made no sense for the pirate to aid his enemy like that, except now he had two enemies making fools of themselves as they spilled lots of juicy details, while a third enemy, the Marines, just stood around impotent.
At least he was staying away from Luffy this time. Because if the scum showed any inclination towards getting close to him again, well, all bets were off.
Deciding he was tired of staring at that face, insufferable smug even from afar, the vice-admiral took another look at Ace, but his grandson appeared to have descended back into catatonia. Honestly, it was so sad looking, especially with those shackles, that he could not bring himself to punch some very badly needed sanity into his skull. Although given how past usage of the Fist of Love had failed to prevent them reaching this point, it might take repeated swings to make the proper impact.
"You sure you don't want to cut the Den-Den Mushi?"
"Yes," groaned Sengoku. "We can't be too obvious about it, and them acting like idiot buffoons does help us."
"It's also making them seem more Human," cautioned Garp, with uncharacteristic seriousness. Of course, nothing about today was normal.
"It's a risk," confessed Sengoku. "Honestly, there's no good choices to be had here."
". . . Have you heard anything back from Impel Down yet?"
"No."
"That's not good."
"No. Blackbeard is up to something for sure. We shouldn't have trusted him."
"Yeah, he was in Level Four, the hot place. He was going on about his grand plans, but wouldn't say what it was about."
"Huh, thanks Luffy."
"Welcome, Gramps."
Mental gears turned with dawning realization, and very, very slowly the two marines cranked their heads around to see one 'Straw Hat' Monkey D. Luffy pulling his brother's shackles off.
(Luffy really would have to thank Hancock later, for having her snake pass him that key without anyone noticing.)
Garp was too stunned, but Sengoku moved with every ounce of speed he possessed. He absolutely, categorically refused to let that maniac's family have the chance to cause more chaos and ruin everything.
The platform creaked with the sudden weight of a titanic golden figure as the Fleet Admiral lunged—
A blur.
—the Execution Scaffold was crushed to wooden and metal slivers beneath his palm, drawing the attention of the entire island as they saw the Fleet Admiral kill Fire Fist Ace.
-0-0-0-
The reporters at Sabaody could only gape in shock at this staggering new development, as the Fleet Admiral personally executed the spawn of Gold Roger.
"But what about the pirates!?" said one, voicing the fear and confusion everyone else felt.
Sure enough, it was obvious both pirate crews were yelling in fury, and Kaidou and Whitebeard had broken off their . . . *ahem,* argument.
Neither of them had done anything really.
(Yet.)
Just turned around to face the Execution Scaffold and stare at Sengoku, which even through the visual feed and being kilometers upon kilometers away, made icy claws grip at the reporters' spines.
Instead of reacting to them though, the head of Navy's vast, golden head was craning around as if he was searching for something.
-0-0-0-
Ace blinked.
He was tucked under a fury arm, staring face-up, and could clearly see a strangely familiar face.
Horns like a deer, yet face shaped like a Wolf Mink, resembling nothing he had ever seen before. Only with that familiar outfit, those eyes, and this haki . . .
"Yamato!?"
"Not now, Ace!"
Yep, that was definitely his voice.
By the brief moments of weightlessness and movement, his friend was impossibly here and running and leaping away from Navy HQ like the demons of hell were after them.
Or the Fleet Admiral, and a certain grandpa after custody of his great-grandkids.
Whichever was worse.
"Ace!" chirped a wonderfully familiar voice. "Who's this?"
"This is Yamato."
"Oh, the guy they said got you pregnant? Because Makino said—"
"I know what Makino said. I was there. She had diagrams."
"Okay, so Yamato's a he?"
"I'm the son of Kaidou, and I'm Kozuki Oden!" snapped Yamato, despite his previous statement.
Luffy had to twist his head around to see Ace past the very large and distinctively feminine, *ahem,* bust of their savior. Still, he evidently saw no issues with this. "Okay. Ace, why didn't you tell me you had such a cool friend!"
Instead of answering, he only grunted. Although he had to admit what was obviously a Zoan hybrid form was pretty interesting.
In another blur of speed, Yamato came to a halt on the ice field still in the bay, but a little ways away from the various armies. They were all staring in the direction of golden Sengoku and the Emperors, so it should be fine. Besides, after running at such break-neck speeds for such a distance, even Yamato had to stop to catch his breath.
"I'm Luffy by the way," was the cheery introduction, having to crane his neck back to look up at the figure, despite them being hunched over a bit.
"Yes, *gasp* I know, *gasp,*" said Yamato, waving a hand in Ace's direction. "Told me *gasp* about you lots."
As he spoke, the fur receded back into a familiar, Human form, and the horns shifted into the traditional, demonic Beast Pirate ones. Even so, with his gentle face, and long, white hair, Yamato looked nothing like Kaidou. The only thing they had in common was how tall they were.
Because Ace was a patient and compassionate person, he bit down on his annoyance that none of the Straw Hats had known Luffy even had a brother. That was just the way the rubber-idiot was. Also, he had bigger fish to fry once he could be sure he would get a proper answer.
Ah, there we go. That should be enough.
"Yamato," said Ace in a flat, deadly voice.
"Yes?" was the reply with a nervous giggle.
"What."
Ace's face was that of Death, and the temperature somehow dropped a few more degrees over the ice.
"Well, it's all a big misunderstanding," Yamato chuckled without any real humour.
"A misunderstanding!? Do you have any idea of what people're thinking right now!?"
That snapped him out of it. "It's not my fault!" he wailed back. "Just a bunch of bad coincidences!"
"Are you pregnant!?"
"No!"
"Then what!? Because as far as I remember, we didn't even kiss! By the One Piece, between your stick and our bottles, I don't think I even touched your skin!"
"Well," now Yamato managed to look even more embarrassed. "We got this new chef who bakes the most amazing pastries, and, well, I ate so much, and skipped some of my training to find the time to really savour them all, so I put on some weight. Not much! Just, y'know, enough for my father to notice. And then I ate something I think was really something Queen made to get Jack sick for the fun of it, and so he heard how I was vomiting into a toilet, just like with morning sickness.
"Now, none of the others would dare approach me after what happened to the last person to try and romance me, and he knew how you had visited that one time, and we hung out without anybody watching us. Oh, sorry, but I threatened the underlings he left behind into saying only you broke the dragon. Anyways, you were basically the only male contact I'd had that he couldn't account for, and he figured the timing was just about right for me to be pregnant."
For the life of him, Ace still could not remember if Makino had ever covered how pregnancies worked exactly. Most of his knowledge was from jokes and songs in bars after he sailed away, which were probably sketchy sources. Not that he had cared, since it was not like he would ever need to know this stuff after all. Ha. Ha.
"Then he remembered rumours of how you were travelling around the New World alone in that personal ship of yours, and how you really wanted to go back to Wano, but White-kichi forbid—"
"You really don't want to call him that. And I was hunting a traitor."
Ignoring his friend, Yamato continued, "Forbid it. And well, he jumped to the conclusion I was carrying your child." His classically beautiful female face scowled up. "Not like he asked me. He just sailed off."
Ace moaned and covered his eyes. "You can't be serious."
"He was pretty wasted at the time," admitted Yamato. "It's not like anyone's going to dare tell him he's wrong. So I snuck aboard one of their ships, and knew I was going in the right direction thanks to your Vivre Card. Then I slipped onto the island, and got around the back until I could see you and your brother."
After another pained groan, Ace finally processed how his friend was here and free. His wrists were bare! "Your shackles! How'd you get free?"
"It was a stroke of luck! Old man!"
"Huh?" said Ace, just before a diminutive, elderly man with blue hair, and sunglasses, popped into sight over Yamato's shoulders, and from under his hair.
"Yes, sir?" he politely asked, with a bow of his head.
"No need for that!" laughed Yamato. "This is Hyogoro of the Flower! An old friend of Oden's, and a great man! He was brought to Onigashima for special punishment or something, but then when fath-Kaidou ran off, I found out he could destroy my cuffs. Uhm, in hindsight the reason he never asked me if I was pregnant, may be because we were hiding to do it." Before Ace could yell, he caught the cold fury which settled over his friend's eyes. "That's when I found out they really were explosive. That Kaidou would kill me rather than let me go!"
"Oh, well—" began Ace.
"So I'm going to join your brother's crew!"
"What!?" cried Luffy.
"It'll be perfect!" he continued.
"You're pretty cool," conceded Luffy, "but why should I let you join my crew?"
He was the captain, and he decided who joined or not. Those were the rules. Nobody, no matter how awesome they were, got to decide that for him.
Yamato's face was wild and fierce. "To be free to sail the seas and lands, to discover all that's out there!"
". . . Okay, sure."
"What!?" gaped Ace. "I mean, sure, but really!?"
"Ahem," coughed Hyogoro, "what about Wano?"
"No worries," promised Yamato. "From what Ace told me before, and the sheer insanity of what I saw today, I know Luffy will be the one to find the One Piece. The greatest among those pirates who shall shoulder the burden of the next era, and the ones Oden foresaw arising in two years to take down Kaidou if he failed!"
"Foresaw?" whispered Hyogoro in confusion. It had been Lady Toki who had given the prophecy, except maybe she had been repeating what Oden had told her? Although that did nothing to explain what else Yamato claimed.
"Well of course," said Luffy matter-of-factly. "But how'd you know?"
"Ace told me your dream," smiled Yamato, "and Oden heard only one other man say those exact words."
"Oh yeah, the dead guy," blurted out Ace. "Who was he then?"
"Gol—"
Oh. Oh nonononononono!
"D—"
NO! NO! NO! NO!
"Roger."
"GRAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed out Ace as he threw his head back. "AGAIN WITH THAT—"
Three hands slapped over his mouth.
Pausing, he stopped to rove his eyes around, and could pretty much feel the stares of three (four? Five?) different armies burning directly into him.
"Stupid Ace," said Luffy and Yamato in unison.
Okay yeah, maybe they'll do alright. Although I'm not sure that's a good thing.
-0-0-0-
"Yamato!?" cried Kaidou. To get a better look he shifted into his dragon form, yet stayed where he was in front of Whitebeard. While personally he looked forward to his inevitable death, he confessed he did want to see that wedding first.
"Gura Ra Ra Ra Ra!" laughed Whitebeard. "Your son rescued mine like a damsel in distress! Alright, he can join my crew after all!"
"WHAT WAS THAT!?"
-0-0-0-
"So anyways," continued Yamato, "there's no better crew for me to sail with to see the rest of the world. You are a D after all. And you'll be the best to help me fulfill Oden's will."
"Alright, you're part of my crew," said Luffy cheerily as they ran for their lives to get to the Whitebeard Pirates and Revolutionaries while a hoard of marines closed in on them. "You're pretty cool, and it's great to meet somebody else who believes in the One Piece like that!"
"That's it!?" groaned Ace in exasperation, even if a part of him was confused about that D fixation. "I mean, don't get me wrong, Yamato's a great guy—"
Ignoring his older brother, Luffy went on, "But I'm not responsible for the old man."
"He can teach you some awesome techniques!" promised Yamato. "The sort that only the most elite of the elite know."
"Which is in my best interest if you are going to liberate my homeland from Kaidou," Hyogoro shrewdly pointed out.
"Prove it."
The crippled, elderly, midget flipped and twisted in midair as a marine rear-admiral caught up, and faster than Luffy could see, sent the man firing away like a cannonball into his fellows.
"Huh," said Ace, flames licking up his body. "That's some pretty impressive haki."
"No Ace! He's coming with us, you can't have him!"
And then the marines were upon them.
Ace unleashed an inferno, mowing down dozens of marines with every strike.
"Gear Two!" cried Luffy, biting his thumb to become a blur of punches and kicks, sending the Navy veterans flying.
Spinning around, Yamato let loose with his kanabo, crushing anything and anyone who got in his way.
"Hey, you're pretty strong!" complimented Luffy.
"Isn't that why you wanted him to join your crew?" asked a puzzled Hyogoro.
"Nah. 'Sides, I only thought he was fast, and I've already got a chef who can do that."
Deciding to spare the old man's sanity, Ace raised a question which had been bugging him a little while he unleashed another "Fire Fist!" Specifically, "Hey Yamato?"
"Yes?"
"Why'd you never use your Zoan form when we fought last time?"
"Well~, you really weren't strong enough to warrant me using it." He also stuck out his tongue cheekily at the Marines who he was currently also fighting in his Human form.
"Ow, that hurt," smirked Ace, "Fire Gun!" as he shot smaller, concentrated flames.
"STOP THEM!" roared Sengoku, voice carrying across the battlefield. "THEY MUST NOT ESCAPE! THEIR CHILD IS A THREAT TO ALL THOSE WHO WISH TO LIVE IN PEACE!"
"Great, now everybody's buying it!" grumbled Yamato.
"It's worse for me," spat Ace, unleashing more fire. "When Makino hears about this, she'll think I broke my whole promise about sex after marriage and everything."
"Really?"
"Well, I don't want to have kids, but it seemed like a good way to reassure her I'd be somewhat responsible."
"—STRAW HAT IS ALSO A MENACE TO THE FUTURE OF HUMANITY! HE GREW UP WITH ACE, AND HIS FATHER IS DRAGON THE REVOLUTIONARY!"
Panicked cries at that echoed across the battlefield.
"Dragon?" asked Yamato.
"Not like that," said Ace.
"Well, maybe?" offered Luffy.
"There's only one dragon like Kaidou," said Ace impatiently.
"Well, what's he like? Why's everyone so worked up?" asked Yamato.
"He's just another dead-beat dad," said Ace.
Luffy said nothing to that, although it might be because he was head-butting a commodore.
"Straw-Boy!"
"Iva!"
The first of their allies had caught up, with Ivankov and Jinbe leading Revolutionaries, and some of the other former prisoners of Impel Down.
In a flurry of violence, the motley group cleared a safe zone free of enemies for about fifty meters, giving themselves some breathing room while the marines regrouped.
"Such excitement!" cried Ivankov. "But now that we have Ace, we must flee!"
"What?" asked Ace, having failed to properly internalize the whole situation.
"Yes," nodded Jinbe. "Pops and the others will cover us against the marines and Kaidou as we make our way to the ships. We'll either get aboard one of our allies' or steal a marine ship!"
Ace's eyes dilated as he realized his crew, his family, was planning to stay behind to sacrifice themselves further in his name. "No!" he yelled. "I have to go back to help them! I—" he broke off as he tried to figure out how to express emotions he barely understood himself. How he could never let himself run from a fight. Especially not when everyone else was dying for him.
"Don't worry, Ace!" beamed Luffy into his brother's wild face. "Iva has just the sort of thing to help you!"
"Really?" gasped his brother in happy surprise. "Wha—"
He felt a series of pricks at his neck, and the next moment he was keeling over into Jinbe's arms.
Ivankov retracted his Devil Fruit syringes back into his nails, dispelled his Armament Haki, and gave an unsurprised Luffy a slightly wary look. "You're more devious than you seem," he commented.
"Huh?" asked Luffy, cocking his head in pure, innocent confusion. "What're you talking about?"
". . . Never mind." He had neither the time nor the present inclination to figure out Dragon's spawn. Better to wait until later; especially if he could share some of the headache with the sire in question. And alcohol. There would definitely be sake involved. Lots of it. On Dragon's tab.
It was at this point that Buggy showed up with most of his followers, and behind him was one of them carrying one of the Den-Den the Navy had been using to broadcast the whole war.
-0-0-0-
What happened next was viewed by all of the reporters, and passed too far and wide by too many witnesses for the World Government to ever hope to suppress.
"Oh, Yamato," said Straw Hat, "Iva's got something to help you too!"
The looming figure who was apparently supposed to be the 'son' of the Strongest Creature, warily shifted back.
"Now, now, none of that," smiled the Revolutionary Commander. Doubtless he was here at the beck and call of his demonic leader's spawn. "I genuinely want to repay you for your help here today. More importantly, I would be a disgrace as the Okama Queen if I did not help with this! Emporio Male Hormones!"
Despite being prepared, Yamato was still caught off-guard by the sudden jab. Or maybe it was his faith in the others?
Regardless, the gapping reporters bore witness to the 'miracle' which followed.
Muscles bulged and swelled upon thin limbs. Breasts were seemingly swallowed up, only for the chest to then expand into something rock hard, the motions shifting the kimono to reveal a ripped manly chest. The horns grew longer and thicker. His already towering stature grew to almost nine feet tall now, all muscle in a way that while not precisely proportioned like his sire, definitely reminded people of Whitebeard.
Finally the face, as features shifted and changed from the gentler face, yet remained nothing like Kaidou's own.
Except for maybe the small, bluish-white mustache.
"I, I, I," stammered Yamato as he looked at a mirror Ivankov pulled out of nowhere.
"Does it suit you, sweetie~?" asked Ivankov, grinning teeth on full display.
In answer, the man threw back his head and laughed with such joy and wonder, it moved the seasoned reporters despite themselves.
Horror came next though, as the son of Kaidou turned and dropped to one knee before 'Straw Hat' Luffy, the son of the Revolutionary Dragon. One hand upon the pommel of his massive club, and a fist over his heart, Yamato said, "Captain Monkey D. Luffy, I swear to follow with you across the seas to wherever they may go. To be with you to see the coming dawn. This I pledge as Kozuki Oden."
Luffy cocked his head. "Oden?"
"ODEN!? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE PLAYING AT!?"
An unknown pirate barged his way forward. "Who do you think you are, claiming to be Oden, you no good—"
"Oh!" said Yamato/Oden, standing back up, pointing an astonished finger. "That blue hair and red nose! Are you Buggyjiro!?"
"Eh!" he recoiled, his-what!? His head was floating off his neck! "How'd you know that name!?"
"Captain Buggy!" exclaimed one of the pirates in prison uniform beside him. "What's this about Oden?"
"Grrr!" growled Buggy. "Oden sailed with Whitebeard, and then later with Captain Roger and us. We love the guy, and if you think you can steal his name—"
"He's dead," Yamato/Oden painfully cut in.
"WHAT!?"
"Kaidou," and the name was outright spat out with tingling venom, "executed him. They tried to kill him with boiling oil, but . . ." A sad smile. "You know what he said. 'I am Oden . . .'"
"'And I was born to boil,'" finished Buggy, tears falling free. "That's what the flashy guy would say alright. But, how!? You!? What!?"
The towering figure stopped to fish around in his kimono until pulling out a battered book.
"Wait! That's Oden's journal!"
"Yes! I found it, and learnt all I could from it."
"One sec, let me see." A hand detached from the pirate, to fly over and flip the pages open. "Yep, that's his handwriting."
"So," continued Yamato/Oden, "I chose to dedicate myself to becoming Oden. To free Wano, and then to sail the seas."
"Wait, wait, wait," one nameless pirate butted in. "That's a journal . . . from a guy who sailed with Gold Roger to the very last island?"
"Yes!" beamed Yamato/Oden, headless of the MADNESS he was about to unleash. "It has everything! His time sailing with White-kichi—"
-0-0-0-
Unbeknownst to Yamato, his voice was carrying enough so that people were overhearing, and passing it on back.
"A journal from Roger's crew?"
"No, Roger's own diary!"
"Something about soup?"
"No, his name was Oden!"
"A book about all his adventures!"
As one all the most senior members of the Whitebeard Pirates and their allies broke out into a cold sweat. They remembered the sort of hijinks Oden had been a part of with them. In fact, due to the fact they actually trusted each other, and were not homicidal lunatics, some of those stories with the Rocks Pirates were downright tame in comparison to what the Whitebeard Pirates had gotten up to.
And if Oden had written them all down . . .
-0-0-0-
"—and with Roger, and when he came back to Wano!" said Yamato.
"But that includes the One Piece, right? What he found on the last island?"
"Of course!"
Jinbe and Ivankov were both starting to think they should SHUT. UP. This newbie pirate, but for the life of them, even they were too curious to stop it.
"But more than that, it told of what was to come!"
"Wait, to come!?" broke in Hyogoro, his curiosity finally getting the best of him. "It was Lady Toki who told the prophecy though!"
"Yes. 'Like the Moon, you are ignorant of the Dawn. If there is one ardent wish that must be fulfilled, it will be when nine shadows are cast woven together through twenty years of moonlit nights. Only then shall you understand the radiance of Dawn.' Except Toki was voicing what she had learnt from Oden. When Oden went to kill Kaidou, he knew that if he failed, twenty years from then, or about two from now, a group of powerful pirates would emerge, shouldering the burden of the next era. And defeat the likes of Kaidou."
"Huh, what do you mean, 'next era?'" butted in one nameless Revolutionary. "And what does this have to do with Gold Roger?"
"Everything," lectured Yamato. "Roger was dying of sickness. He knew he had only months to live, and so would not be around to see what was to come. So he surrendered himself to the marines to help light the fires of what was to come. Just like I know Toki ensured the Red Scabbards would survive to help save Wano. To pave the way for—"
Luffy slapped a hand over his mouth.
"Who cares about the future!? That's all boring stuff! C'mon, if you're going to sail with us, then you've got to worry more about what we're doing now!"
Instead of being offended, Yamato's grin only widened. "Yes, captain. And don't worry, I know there's lots of surprises left for us."
Everyone else was about to scream their frustration and demands for answers, when they were rudely interrupted.
"YAMATO!" screamed Kaidou, and hurricane winds buffeted Marineford, twisters arose around the dragon taller than Navy HQ, and lightning flashed from the skies. "FOR ALMOST TWENTY YEARS I SEARCHED FOR ANY SCRAP OF KNOWLEDGE ODEN MIGHT HAVE HIDDEN, AND YOU HAD IT THE WHOLE TIME!?"
In answer, Yamato defiantly tucked the journal back into his kimono.
"BOLO BREATH!" erupted Kaidou before Whitebeard could react, as he unleashed an inferno well beyond anything Ace could manage.
Fur grew upon Yamato's figure, and strange fires danced around his body, making him appear as some divine figure. "NAMUJI HYOGA!" he yelled back, unleashing a wave of frigid, white fog.
The powers of the two beings clashed and struggled against each other, forming a massive ball of fire against ice before detonating in a flash of light and steam, nullifying them both.
As the smoke died though, they saw three whole armies charging towards them.
"DESTROY THAT JOURNAL!" commanded Sengoku. A horde of panicking marines charged with all they had, the vice-admirals in the lead, and the admirals hurrying to catch up.
"GET RID OF THAT BOOK!" ordered Marco. "WE CAN'T LET ANYONE KNOW WHAT ODEN SAID ABOUT US!" The Division Commanders led the way for the world's strongest pirate crew, as their dignity and pride were on the line.
"GET THAT JOURNAL OR ELSE!" roared Kaidou. Caught between terror and joy, the Beast Pirates chose to laugh as they advanced, led by the Disasters themselves.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHH" screamed the Revolutionaries and ex-prisoners as they turned and ran for their lives lest they be trampled.
"Time to get out of here!" said Jinbe. While technically he was on Pop's side, right now he figured he was better off getting Ace, his younger brother, and this strange new Straw Hat out of here.
Yamato plucked up Ace in his arms, princess-style, and called back at the top of his lungs, "See you in two years, Kaidou!"
"Shi shi shi shi shi! You're lots of fun to hang around with!" cheered Luffy.
He had the best crew! "Oh man, I can't wait to introduce you to the others!"
-0-0-0-
Fire and smoke sputtered out of Kaidou's mouth, yet he dared not act just yet.
Instead he shifted downwards, yet retained his tail, talons and fangs, and some of his blue scales. Unbeknownst to him, his fearsome hybrid form was being broadcasted to the increasingly panicking reporters there as well.
"So," said Whitebeard casually. "Your son's more interesting than I expected. Although I'm glad to know more people believe that the One Piece is real."
Kaidou snarled. "They say Roger stopped to visit you before his death, old man. What. Did. He. Say?"
Sneering, Whitebeard shook his head, and relaxed his muscles for a fight. "I daresay Oden's journal just about covers it."
Privately he doubted that. His little brother was not the sort to leave that sort of information just laying around. Of course, also knowing him, the hints he did leave behind, would still be inflammatory enough to upheave the whole world.
He hefted Murakumogiri. "Of course, he's with Ace now, and I'm not letting you just walk up to him."
"So be it," grinned Kaidou with bloodthirst. "I've been looking forward to this for too long!" He hauled back his kanabo to unleash all of his strength, gathering Conqueror's Haki to it.
Whitebeard mirrored him, yet added a quake bubble from his Devil Fruit for added measure.
A shared smile mixed with loathing.
The air around them went still, and everyone foolish enough to still be around them froze in horror.
Massive feet stomped down, breaking the ground beneath them as they surged forward, screaming as they brought their weapons together to clash in a battle of strength and will.
A slim saber, miniscule in comparison, slashed up just where the weapons were about to meet, knocking all three back.
Livid, Whitebeard and Kaidou turned to their peer who had remained so uncharacteristically passive this whole time, they had honestly forgotten about him. In truth, part of their anger was directed at themselves for making such a potentially fatal error with a rival Emperor.
"Now, now," said Shanks evenly, devoid of mockery. His sword held lightly at his side, yet they both knew it was deceptive. For all that he looked like a one-armed beachcomber compared to the two towering forces of nature, everyone here knew how deceptive appearances were. Red Hair was every inch their equal in all the ways it mattered. "Do you really want to get bogged down in a fight here, when your objectives have already escaped?"
Given the angle they were standing at, both Whitebeard and Kaidou were free to sneak a millisecond glimpse out of the corners of their eyes to indeed confirm Ace and Yamato (and those with them) were already safely sailing away on a captured marine battleship.
So unspoken was: 'Do you really want to fight each other here and now, and on the Navy's home turf, for no real point, and possibly with me as an enemy as well?"
Shanks continued. "I do have some idea what the grander plans for you both are, so I have to ask, is this really when you want to slug it out?"
Whitebeard risked a look at his sons fighting and dying to keep back the regular marines. Kaidou carefully did not look at Doflamingo, whose latest product promised the realization of a certain dream of his.
Both fathers shared a glance, and with a huff and a grunt turned their backs on each other in unison to stalk off. Orders were given, and their crews retreated, while the Red Hair's materialized as a silent warning between them and the marines.
On Sengoku's quiet orders, the marines ignored them as well.
The Battle of Marineford was over before it had hardly begun, and the last to leave was Shanks, shooting the marines and the still-watching Visual Den-Den Mushi a mysterious, self-satisfied smile.
-0-0-0-
Blackbeard died a quick, and ignoble death.
The Whitebeard Pirates had just gotten the Moby Dick and her sister ships free from the ice and sailing away, when they stumbled upon him and crew passing through the Gate of Justice.
Angry and out of patience, Whitebeard just sank them all with a single tidal wave which also shoved them all back into the giant whirlpool that is the Tarai Current to drown.
-0-0-0-
So . . .
Sooooooooo . . .
The wedding was probably canceled, right?
Right.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAH!" screamed Shogun Orochi in a panic, his voice echoing across the halls of Onigashima. "What does Yamato know!? What did Oden know!? He believes! He believes! You see, I told everyone the ghosts are coming for me! GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Shogun Orochi," a diffident voice somehow caught through his panic, and he saw Kyoshiro in a full-body bow. "We were here under the impression that we would be aiding Kaidou, but now if he returns early in his dragon form, he may be displeased to see us. And we have no way of telling how long it will take him to get here. The newspaper is for yesterday's events alone."
Despite his arrogance, even Orochi had to gulp in terror of that. While Kaidou might depend upon him to manage Wano, by all accounts he was in such a temper that he might act . . . rashly.
"You must leave at once," loyal Kyoshiro continued. "If you wish it, I can remain to ensure there are no issues."
"Yes! See to it at once!" yelped Orochi before scampering off.
In his haste, he belatedly realized he had forgotten to have Komurasaki come with him.
"Now then," Kyoshiro said to the petrified Beast Pirates, "we need both food and drink to help ease his temper, without seeming like a celebration. Seal off Master Yamato's rooms, so Kaidou can have them personally searched for any clues."
Quick nods.
"The rest of us will be hiding all of the wedding materials we have prepared. We'll move them to the most out-of-the way parts of the fortress, and you can quietly dispose of them later when Lord Kaidou is absent. Meanwhile, we'll also be searching for any clues Master Yamato may have left behind."
Now relieved nods from Headliners, Gifters, Pleasures, and Waiters. They had a firm plan, and it sounded like a good one. A thorough search of the whole island while hiding everything sounded like just the thing to do.
They were so thankful to have a guy like Kyoshiro on their side!
Although it was still probably best not to tell their bosses he had been here and all. They would probably get weird about it.
-0-0-0-
Zoro just grinned as he heard the news. Looks like their new crewmember would be good to spar with. Even if he was well aware that pretty much everybody would be after them now.
Nami just moaned as she read the newspaper. This was what happened when she let Luffy out of sight. Honestly, what were they going to do with him?
Usopp screamed in both horror and delight at the sight of how Luffy's bounty had shot up to 600 million. Although it made a sick sort of sense, as 'Yamato, the Son of Kaidou' was currently worth 550 million . . .
Sanji wept in despair at seeing the image of the statuesque beauty who had nearly been a part of the lovelies he sailed with. Now he had to deal with another sweaty man!
Chopper was just glad to have a new crewmate, especially a fellow Zoan.
Robin's chuckles of mirth that creeped out the Revolutionaries who had given her the article.
Franky laughed and laughed, and looked forward to meeting his new bro, as the future looked to be SUPER!
Brook laughed and sang, wondering what position Yamato would have on the crew.
-0-0-0-
Grumbling under his breath, Pedro of the Treetops shuffled to his door, fighting the urge to wake up in the hope he could go back to bed after dealing with whoever was knocking.
No such luck, it was Wanda. While a member of the Musketeer Squad, to be here in the daytime when Inuarashi ruled Zou, meant she must be here in her capacity as a ruler's aide. Which of course meant it fell to him to handle this, as Master Nekomamushi top Mink.
"I'm sorry," he yawned, "you're going to have to repeat that." He started to force himself awake, as clearly he had dreamed what he thought she had said.
"I said the Duke is on his way here," repeated Wanda with a mixture of impatience and understanding.
". . . What?"
Adrenaline snapped awake and away from his door. Rushing into his room, he threw on his uniform, and leapt out a window towards the route the Duke must be taking. Every time their two rulers met, it always ended in violence, so why—there!
He came down right in front of Duke Inuarashi, who was angrily stomping towards Master Nekomamushi's home.
"Sir, I—"
The Guardian cut himself off at the Dog Mink's raised hand, and then with the other he held out a newspaper. It was just enough out of reach Pedro could not take it, yet he read it perfectly well. Things were definitely becoming unsettled for the World Government, and . . .
After a pause, he reread a particular sentence.
"I'll go wake up the Master," he said without preamble, and raced like his tail was on fire for his boss.
Master Nekomamushi was enjoying a pleasant dream involving catnip and his beloved lord, when he was awoken by Pedro incessantly shoving at his shoulder. "What? What?" he moaned, turning over in his bed.
"Master Nekomamushi," said Pedro urgently. "There's a son of Kaidou claiming to the world he's Kozuki Oden!"
Being no fool, Pedro had already leapt back at his words, thus avoiding furiously swiping limbs as a spitting furry fury leapt wildly out of bed.
"WHAT!?"
"Duke Inuarashi has the newspaper!"
Fortunately by the time they arrived, Wanda and some of the other Guardians had convinced the Duke to sit down at a table with drinks already laid out for both rulers, and Wanda holding the newspaper.
Smartly, she did not even wait for Master Nekomamushi to sit down before she started reading, much less let either massive Mink speak.
She read the whole thing before the silent, growing audience of members of the Mokomo Dukedom.
Everything.
How this child of Kaidou had Oden's journal, and was proclaiming themselves to have inherited the Kozuki's will.
Hints that he knew secrets Oden had not shared with even his most loyal retainers.
His belief, along with the Minks, in the prophecy Lady Toki had given.
An image of Kaidou's hybrid Zoan form.
Honestly, for them all that buzz about the 'son of Gold Roger' was pretty minor in comparison.
"Straw Hat Luffy," mused Inuarashi carefully, as he tried not to provoke anything, "has on his crew now this Yamato, as well as Nico Robin, who can read the Poneglyphs."
"Yes," said Nekomamushi, flexing his claws in and out. "Which means eventually they will come to Zou. And then we will decide what to do with 'em."
-0-0-0-
Fleet Admiral Sengoku was having an incredibly awkward meeting with the Five Elder Stars.
They were not happy.
Spitting mad even.
Something, something, Whitebeard still alive, blah, blah, letting those inflammatory messages be broadcasted, ramble, ramble, three accursed bloodlines on the loose, yabba yabba.
Yeah, they were mad, and Sengoku did not care.
He was tired of all this nonsense, especially as his superiors had already made perfectly clear they were going to hush up how many of the Level 5 Impel Down prisoners had still escaped to wreak havoc across the world. And now instead of being back at Marineford trying to salvage something, anything really, good from this colossal mess, he was here being chewed out like an apprentice sailor on his first cruise, while the whole trap for Whitebeard had been their idea! Oh sure, Fire Fist had needed to die, but provoking the Emperor like that was another story. Many of his marines were dead for a plan he had warned them was risky, and had been ignored.
Someone ran into the room from behind him. "Sirs! Straw Hat Luffy and Yamato have been sighted at Marineford! Straw Hat rang the Ox Bell and posed for a photograph!"
. . . That was it, he was retiring.
-0-0-0-
Two Years Later
Powered by hatred and the legendary Energy Steroids, Hody Jones appeared behind the arrogant human, Straw Hat Luffy, bringing about a kick to take his head off.
The world spun, and he found himself dangling by that leg upside down. Flailing, he looked up and up to see a handsome, muscular face looking down at him with contempt. "You're in the Captain's way. Also, you're boring."
Yamato swung his kanabo with such force that it was not until hours later, after the crisis on Fishman Island had long been resolved, that they managed to dig out of the rocky cliff-side a mangled, and prematurely aged Hody.
-0-0-0-
"Kin'emon! It's you!"
The samurai started at the unfamiliar voice calling out his name. An agent of Kaidou!?
Before he could react further though, he found himself being hugged into a muscular chest. "This is Kin'emon! He's one of the Nine Red Sheaths! He's just what we need to free Wano! Ooh, that must mean Lord Momonosuke's here too! I told you Toki sent them through time!"
What!?
-0-0-0-
Explanations did not make things better for Kin'emon
Indeed, he currently found himself pinned beneath Kaidou's spawn until he was ready to 'calm down and listen.'
He would be calm after he took that demon's head off!
How was this happening!?
In the process though, others of these pirates showed up, and Kin'emon stopped (futilely) struggling so he could listen, hoping to learn something about Momonosuke.
Halfway through, his captor threw back his head to laugh. "Caesar!? Oh this is perfect!"
"Oh, isn't he the one you said was making artificial Devil Fruits for Kaidou?" chirped the tanuki.
"Yes! So this must be one of his main places to make them! So rescuing those kids will definitely tick him off and bring him after us, and then we can take him out. We'll be at Wano in no time!
"And what are the chances that we'd randomly show up here at a time like this!?"
With practiced skepticism, the Straw Hats all ignored the insinuation that fate was at all involved.
The pretty red-headed courtesan sobbed. "And that means we'll have three of the Emperors after our heads! Yamato just give them the book! You already have it memorized!"
"Never!"
-0-0-0-
"Shu ho ho ho!" gloated Caesar Clown. "So catch me if you dare! I am protected by Doflamingo and an Emperor! Do you really have the guts to pick a fight with the likes of—"
He trailed off at the sight of Yamato waving a hand at him.
". . . Oh, I really am in trouble, aren't I?"
A few minutes later, Trafalgar Law was scowling at the sight of the twitching Caesar on the ground. "I said capture him, not beat him half to death!"
"Eh," said Luffy, he crossed his arms behind his head and looked elsewhere.
The whole lab complex shuddered.
"Another explosion?" wondered Law.
"Not exactly."
Everyone jumped and then looked up to see a blue-haired man with a mask, casually leaning on the rail of a gantry above them.
"Deuce!" said Yamato with joy.
"Hey Yamato," he smiled, "long time no see. Great to finally meet you by the way, Luffy."
"Who're you?"
"Ah, I'm hurt! I was your brother's first-mate with the Spade Pirates."
Zoro, narrowed his one eye. "So that means you're with the Whitebeard Pirates. They the ones making all that noise?"
"You got it," chuckled Deuce. "You've got two divisions worth on your tails. But I like the kid and Yamato, and it's hilarious to see both Ace and the older guys panicking over all this. Serves them right a bit even. Anyways, you might want to get going before they catch up . . ."
"Oh come on! First Smoker, and now these guys!? How're they finding us!?"
-0-0-0-
Scowling darkly, Kaidou received word of what had happened in Dressrosa.
Doflamingo being beaten by that snot-nosed punk was not too surprising, even how fast it was supposed to have gone, if he had had the likes of the traitor and Hyogoro training him these last two years. By all accounts, the SMILE factory had been destroyed in a three-way crossfire of the Revolutionaries led by their Chief-of-Staff, the Second Division of the Whitebeard Pirates, and Admiral Fujitora and his marines. So no more artificial Devil Fruits.
Gulping down more alcohol, Kaidou savoured how it burned down his throat, and plotted for what was to come. He knew they were coming to Wano, and when they did . . . well.
Either he would have his revenge, or he would have his death.
And it would be glorious.
-0-0-0-
"And people still think I've somehow given birth to your baby!" vented Yamato, gesturing wildly with his bottle of beer. "How can I even do that with this body!?"
"Not just you," groaned Ace, groping for a fresh bottle for himself. "My own crew spread rumours Ivankov made me a woman for a while, so I was the mother of our child!"
"If Sabo gets into drama like this," vowed Koala, "I'm castrating him."
"Given what it's already caused," muttered Sabo, "I just might let you."
Luffy looked at them all blankly, and tipped his head. "You guys are all weird."
"LIKE YOU'RE ONE TO TALK!"
-0-0-0-
Author Notes:
The original idea for this was inspired by the wonderful rose7anne101, but there is no denying my discussions with VixenRose1996 regarding theories revolving around the Battle of Marineford, Kaidou, Shanks, etcetera, were also a major help. Both also provided me with several direct suggestions which I incorporated here. Thank you both so very much! :-D
And yes, I do realize that there may be a new chapter even next week which may debunk large swaths of this, but honestly this has all been on my mind too long already! I needed to get it out!
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For the record, I am not an expert on gender identity. However I do believe that if Ivankov finds himself on an island with person with a woman's body, but calling themselves a man, he's gonna stab 'em, and worry about things like 'consent' later. Which is a whole other issue in itself. Regardless, given the aforementioned part on not being an expert, I decided it was easier to just have Yamato be happy with his new body.
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Originally I was writing this story while alternating between 'Serious' and 'Crack' chapters, but now I am just going to write according to my fancy. Honestly, at this point I am not ever sure which this story counts as :-P
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Please Review, and I will get back to you!