CHAPTER 16 - DETERMINATION

"But for the meantime, I guess you guys should relax for a while, okay?" the Bikini Bottomite fish said, checking his watch. "My shift will end in just an hour."

"Again, I'm sorry if I doubted you, okay?" Howard said as he tapped my shoulder like a brother would.

"That's all right, really," I replied. "In fact, I should be the one thanking you."

"Why?"

"If not for you, I could have just drowned myself in this city in a desperate attempt to completely forget about my past."

Howard cringed in pain again, holding on to his aching legs.

"Wait, are you sure you're okay?" I asked him.

"No, but I will go with you. I want to meet Mr. Krabs, even just this once."

"Come to think about it, even if this is the city of apathy, I could also say that this is the city of opportunities. If I had not went here, I could have never met you. As a matter of fact, I rode that bus with the initial plan to alight on a barren land where I will live out the rest of my life the way I have lived it: in loneliness that will soon be solitude. All I wanted was a new atmosphere, even if the new environment was an endless, desolate expanse. Only, there is no more Karen to reassure me time and time again that everything will be all right."

"Karen… you talk about her quite a lot," Howard said. "Who is she?"

"Someone who has left me a long time ago…"

"Was she pretty? Is she a voluptuous, blonde, one-eyed wonder of a fine protozoan?"

"No, but she is the most beautiful black box I have ever seen."

"What do you mean?"

"She is actually a computer," I replied. "Just like you, I never really had a family. I never settled down and had kids. World domination was the only thing that mattered to me, along with exacting my revenge on Mr. Krabs. But at least I was never really alone. All I ever wanted when I rode on that bus is to be completely alone where no other fish will see me, where I can completely forget about my past and try to find another pursuit of happiness, wherever I may find it, even in the grains of sands that could have been my only companions until I eventually become one with them. I just decided later on that a bustling city would do the job for me."

I continued to tend to his aching joints as we got deeper into conversation. Sometimes, I even had to repeat things for him. His forgetfulness was getting worse. Over the course of our journey, I had to retell my story to him several times. I had to correct him more frequently when he would call me Landon, Wilson, Brandon, or other similar names.

"Okay, my shift is over," the fish said as he approached us. "Now, take a ride in my pocket." He carried both of us and placed us in the front pocket of his coat.

He went up the spiral stairs, went out of the office, and started his boat. I looked at the city, glowing with its various neon lights, for one last time. I realized that just as he was driving home, he was also driving me back home. No matter how cold and apathetic this city had been to me, I will still miss this place. I will still miss the claustrophobic, complicated network of tunnels that fill the spaces below the tall buildings and blinding neon signs. I will never forget the noise that makes this city so lively, and most of all, the good food, even though I took most of them from the dumps. This city gave me the golden opportunity to eat anything besides virtual meat loaf. Above all of those things, had it not been for this city, I would not have a companion. I would not have met Howard at all.

For the first time in my life, I was truly happy. I realized that this was what The Flying Dutchman was talking about. Even though I never really experienced going into any of the clubs and party venues in this city, I still got to try things I've never tried before. For almost my entire stay here, there were days when, not even once, did the formula cross my mind. I was too busy taking care of my friend in his time of need. I had fun, though, even if there were some times when we didn't really agree completely.

The fish then parked his car by the bus station, handed us over to the bus driver, and gave him money for our tickets to Bikini Bottom.

We were seated on special seats that the bus driver provided seemingly out of nowhere. I looked back at the city of neon lights as the bus departed. I saw the skyline slowly disappear into the horizon and knew that the moment is about to come. I will see my home again soon. I looked out at the seemingly endless expanse of sand that spanned the entire landscape, extending from both sides of the road, soon after. I was supposed to be just one speck of sand, unseen among millions of others, had I disembarked there. I knew from this time that I made the right decision to go to the bustling city and risk getting trampled on.

I then wondered if I had made the right decision to go back home and totally change my initial plan. All I ever really wanted was to go to a place as far away from Bikini Bottom as possible, but now, I have decided to go back to the very place that I'm escaping from.

The journey lasted for hours, and when we eventually got there, it was sunrise already when we both woke up as soon as the bus driver had announced that we were already at the Bikini Bottom bus stop. We alighted from the vehicle, and I thanked the driver for his good service.

"Whoa!" Howard said as he looked around Bikini Bottom and saw the eccentric cylindrical buildings that lined the horizon. He acted just like a kid who went to an amusement park for the first time.

"Yeah, this is Bikini Bottom," I replied. "We're finally here. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I sure miss this place even though it gave me nothing but bitter memories."

I read the front pages of the morning papers form the newspaper stall nearby and found out that Mr. Krabs's condition was still getting worse. The doctors were already quite worried that Mr. Krabs might not make it out of the hospital alive anymore.

"I know where we should go first: the hospital," I said. "Mr. Krabs is there, and remember: the reason we are here is him."

"Let's go, then," Howard said. I then carried him in my arms, knowing that his arthritis was still taking its toll on him.

"Wow, you are actually quite healthy for a fellow my age," Howard said.

"It must be from lifting heavy bottles from back in the day," I replied. "I don't consider myself healthy, though."

I endured every step towards the hospital where Mr. Krabs is confined. Even though my arms already hurt so badly, I didn't stop moving. I knew I was getting closer to my purpose of returning to the very place that I've always wanted to escape from.

Catching my breath, I rested against the wall of the hospital for a while as soon as I got there.

"We're here, Howard," I said. "Now, let me just rest my arms for a while…"

"It's okay," he replied. "I can handle myself."

"But how about stairs?" I asked. "You might have a hard time climbing up them."

"Good point," Howard replied. "You really are that determined, aren't you?"

"I've always been," I replied. "No matter what my pursuit, determination is what defines me. There may have been some points in my life when I just wanted to throw myself into an incinerator, but in the end, I realize: I am Sheldon James Plankton. I can and will do something about my problems."