CHAPTER 19 - APOLOGIES

With the courage I had finally mustered up right from the moment I decided to journey back to the town that emotionally tormented me for almost all my life, I finally opened my lips and sounded the words that could possibly change my life forever once again and perhaps, rectify all the mistakes I had done in my nearly-worthless life.

"I'm sorry," I finally said.

"You might not be able to clearly hear me right now, or comprehend whatever I will say next. Your mind might be wandering off somewhere else in a pursuit of a higher plane of existence than this one… somewhere else away from this ephemeral world. But right now, I will pour whatever is left of my shriveled-up, little old heart into everything I've always wanted to tell you. I was always afraid to tell you this, but now that I had experienced more things that finally changed my perspective, I had finally gathered the courage to tell you everything!

First of all, I would like to thank you for being there for me since we were toddlers in that daycare. Thank you for fighting my childhood battles for me, and for being with me to eat lunch behind that dumpster that reeks of Davy Jones's old socks. Of all the days of my life, those were the best, believe it or not. Those were the days when I still had someone to live for… someone who gave my life some meaning to it despite the fact that everyone else considered us freaks because you were dirt-poor and I was a nerd.

For all these years, all I ever really wanted was to be able to get the Krabby Patty formula from you so that, together, we can steal our friendship back from the tides of fate that washed it away into the abyss of Davy Jones's locker. As time passed by, its abrasive sands effaced that longing for reconciliation away and rusted it, leaving only the corroded, crumbling remains of what was once a desire to repair a lost friendship that rusted away, leaving only something wicked, something vile, and something corrupting."

I felt the tears start to well up my eye. They started to muffle the sounds coming from my mouth and clog the tunnels that let the air into my system, but I continued. Howard was next to me now, and he tapped my shoulder.

"Go on," he said. "I know it's hard for you, but I am getting the feeling that you made the right choice… Remember, THIS is what you're here for…"

"Eventually, just like how oxidation changes a tough, iron nail left outside to soak in the rain to a crumbling stick of rust, my strength to go on gradually weakened. Without friends to tide me over during those tough times save for a machine of a lover that robotically reassured me that everything will be all right, I changed from a misunderstood young protozoan who lost his last true friend, into a mad scientist who wanted to rule the world and enslave everyone in it. That villainy became my façade that masked the true weakness that consumed the entirety of my feeble body. It was my biggest mistake to not let go of that fateful day when that Neptune-damned paper tore apart the same way our friendship did. The many years that passed by made me realize what a bitter failure I turned out to be, living alone in a rusty bucket when I could have spent those wasted years inventing things that would revolutionize the world. Well, Sandy already did that. Without that contraption she invented that would allow your thoughts to be heard, that bottle right next to you might not even be there. But right now, I am not here for that bottle no matter how many years I have spent in order to pursue what is inside it.

What is this? You are still silent despite everything I have already said? I'll just assume from this point on that you are still listening intently to your erstwhile arch-rival mouthing to you all his failures in life. Perhaps you might be silently laughing under those closed eyes of yours. But either way, thank you for this moment. Thank you for this opportunity. Now, I shall continue.

For a while, I had finally achieved such success and forced people to build steel monuments based on my image and likeness. I loved seeing those fish suffer under the fashionable buckets I had made for their brains to bend to my will, just about as much as you loved using that Neptune-damned drinking straw to launch me back to my shack every time I fail to get the formula. Spongebob eventually foiled this grand scheme, however, and got me sent me to jail. I suffered there for about ten years, spending my time confined in a small solitary cell about the size of a hollow block forced to read contest entries for the yearly Worst Writing Contest. I learned the hard way that this freedom was only an illusion and because of this, I decided to jump into the fire. As I was burnt, I soon learned that there was this mission I had to do, and it was to try something new and to find happiness in a life that bred me to failure. I escaped into a faraway city that seemed to glorify the nightlife above everything else. While I wasn't able to really enjoy the nightlife itself and visit even a single bar and have one glass of booze to drink my problems away, in a cardboard box in a bleak alley lit only by a dim streetlight, I met a friend who gave my life meaning again. His name is Howard, and he idolizes you so much. He is here right now, and he is the one who led me to you."

"Yeah, I'm here," Howard said as tears fell from his eye as well. "It's always been my dream to meet the owner of such a successful restaurant. And my friend here is obviously sincere about everything he's telling you…"

"I learned that you were sick, and I realized that I should do this so that if you will not survive this, you will, at least, go in peace without the burden of a broken friendship on your back.

Perhaps this is it.

Now that I've said it all, I do feel better, as though a heavy rock that I had been pushing all my life finally landed on the correct spot. Now, with all of this, I bid you farewell. Whether or not you forgive me for everything, I forgive you."

"I…" Mr. Krabs attempted to reply, but before he could continue whatever he was about to say, the lines on the electrocardiograph monitor that beeped to the rhythm of his heart gradually weakened. The green, spiky lines gradually turned into subtler waves. I knew that this was one of the signs. Not even Sandy's invention could receive transmissions from his brain anymore.

Quickly, I ran to the door and pulled it open with all the strength I had. Howard helped me despite the fact that he was almost unable to walk because of his recurring arthritis.

"What is that? Why is the door opening!?" one of the muscled fish guiding the door asked the other in surprise.

"I dunno, man, but we better find out! Spongebob will be here in a few moments!" the other fish replied. They looked down and saw me.

"Quick!" I shouted so that they could hear me. "There's something wrong with Mr. Krabs's heartbeat! Call in the doctors! Quick!"

"Well, unless it's a flat line we see or hear, then there's nothing wrong!" one of them said. "Dude, you can't just call in the doctors when it's not really an emergency! Don't you see that they have too many other things to attend to? Worse cases than this one?"

"This isn't Hollywood!" I replied. "Really, just call in the doctors! STAT! Subtle waves on the ECG mean that there's something wrong with Mr. Krabs's heartbeat! Or even possibly, death! Don't you understand!?"

As soon as they called in the doctors, Spongebob got out of the nearby elevator. He was already walking towards the room, ready to get the bottle that he will soon inherit from the now-senile Mr. Krabs.

Author's Note: I'm sorry if I depicted how the ECG monitors heartbeats inaccurately, or any other scene that takes place in the hospital. I'm not a medical student or a doctor, after all. (I major in architecture.) I also haven't witnessed this kind of scenario in real life.

Now, review reply:

Third Kind – Yeah, I haven't been watching TV lately at all. Besides, I heard that the newer episodes of SBSP aren't really as good as the older ones, although the very premise of this fanfic is based on the (post-movie) episodes New Leaf, Friend or Foe, and the first movie.