Heyya again :) new chapter up :) yaaay! here is where you will learn about Bella and her past. This is the reason she does what she does in this story. i have wanted to write a story including something that i am interested in for ages so this is why i am writing it. Later when you actully see Bella working with babies, most of the things that will happen are true. very funny stuff, but that wont be for a while yet.

Anyway, gona let you read this. see you at the bottom :)

Bella's POV

"What are you talking about Bella?" Esme asked me as we sat on the sofa with each other.

I took a deep breath before I began.

"When I was human I lived in England. My father was a police officer so we didn't exactly have a lot of money, but we got by. I was an only child so I was my parents priority when I was young and as I got older it had to get married. My parents tried to find a husband for me, but I had already fallen in love with someone else and I was determined to marry him. Jacob was about the same age as me, he was a carpenter so he didn't exactly have a lot of money, but my parents saw how happy he made me so they gave us their blessing to get married. I was married by the time I was 17 and I was pregnant with my first child by the time I was 18." I told Esme, I could feel my emotions rising to the surface as I started to speak about my children. Esme was listening to me intently as I told my story.

"I had a girl. I named her Charlotte. She was beautiful she had my hair and eyes, but her fathers rustic, dark skin, she was beautiful. But she wasn't my only child. When Charlotte was 2 I found out that I was pregnant again. I had another girl, Rebecca. She was the total opposite of her sister. She had pale skin compared to her sister's, but she had her fathers black hair and it hung straight down the sides of her face. I loved my children with all my heart. They were my life and I knew that Jacob felt the same way about his girls. They both loved us but I know for a fact that Rebecca loved her father more than me she was a proper daddies girl. One day when the girls were 6 and 4 I went out to town leaving the girls with their father. I didn't realise how long I had been out, so by the time that I started to walk home it was dark. We lived very much in the same area as this. We had rich forested area around the house. I was walking through the woods when I heard someone coming behind me. I looked around me, but couldn't see anyone. I started to get scared. I was still a few miles away from my house so I knew it would take me a while to get home even if I ran. I didn't have time to think about anything else before the most beautiful man appeared in front of me. Even his eyes as black as coal could not distract me from his beauty. His jet black hair combed back from his face, his muscular build was clearly visible through his shirt and trousers. I didn't have time to admire him too much before he pounced at me and dug his teeth into my neck. I don't know what made his stop, but he did and he left. I had enough coherent thought to realise what he was and what had happened to me. I had heard legends of vampires when I was a girl, but I didn't think they were real.'

'Now I knew what was happening to me, I dragged my self into a Hollow of a tree and lay there for 3 days while the fire raged through my body. When it was over I got up from under the tree and realised that the burning that had been going through my body had settled in my throat. I was incredibly thirsty and I knew straight away what I wanted and I knew that I was too close to my family in my state of mind. I ran into the forest and I let my instincts take over, I attacked the first thing with a heartbeat which thankfully was a deer and I drained it. I knew that Jacob had been looking for me when I had gone missing because I had heard Jacob looking for me,so I made myself keep quiet, because I knew that if he came too close to me I wouldn't be able to resist him and I would kill him. So I left, I went back to my house when I knew that no one would be there to get some of my clothes and money. I didn't take too much because it was suppose to look like I had gone missing during the day, so I only took essentials. When I was in my house I could smell my children in the air and I knew that I would never be able to see them again. I would never be able to hold them and kiss them, I would never be able to rock them to sleep and then watch them to make sure that the weren't having bad dreams. And that was when I realised that I could cry. I sat in my bed room and cried, I knew that I shouldn't have been able to do that but I did. The though of never seeing my children again killed me. When I had stopped crying I left my house for the last time.'

'Over the years I realised that I needed something to fill the hole that had been made when I left my children. Of course nothing would ever be the same but I needed something. I found a child clinic that needed help with young children.i took the job as soon as I could. It felt so good to be able to hold children again and to love them, even though it wasn't the same. I kept doing that type of work every where. I moved to America after about 10 years after I was changed and opened one of the first Crèches in Chicago. And I knew that was what I wanted to do for the rest of time and I have never done anything else. I love my job and it helps heal the wounds that have been inflicted on my heart from loosing my children. I will never forget my girls, so I want to do as much as I can with young children to help me get through it. It was been nearly 140 years and I still haven't got over it." I told her, at this point tears were running down my face. I could tell by the look on Esme's face that she upset by the story, but she was also shocked by the fact that I was crying. I wiped the tears off my face with the sleeve of my jumper that I had on.

"I'm sorry, I always get like this when I talk about them." I said as I wiped my face clean of all tears

"No Bella don't apologise. You will never forget your children and it is good that you talk about them. You got to see your children grow and their personalities develop. I never had that chance. My baby was taken away from me when he was just days old." Esme told me.

"Oh Esme I'm so sorry What happened? If you don't want to tell me I understand I know how hard it can be. I mean look at me." I tried to joke but I know it wasn't the time for jokes.

"I will tell you Bella, you've told me about your past now let me tell you about mine. I didn't have the same life as you Bella, you had a husband who loved you and who cared for your children as much as you did, I didn't. My husband was picked for me by my parents. I never loved him and he didn't love me. He abused me every night behind closed doors. After a while I found out that I was pregnant and I knew that I couldn't stay where I was in fear for my own life and my babies so I left. 9 months later I had my baby. A little boy, I named him John, he was beautiful but he got a chest infecting when he was days old and he died. I couldn't cope so I jumped off a cliff trying to kill myself. Someone found me and took me to hospital, but my heart beat was so weak that they took me straight to the morgue That's where Carlisle found me and you know the rest of the story. I adopted all my children in my family. Even though Edward is older than me, I still see him as my son. I have always wanted a large family and now I have one." she told me smiling.

"Have you never thought about working with younger children?" I asked her.

"Not really. I've always wanted to teach younger children but I've never got around to doing it." She told me.

"Well if you ever fancy a change let me know. By the looks of things Rose will be working for me when I finally open my own place." I told her.

Esme smiled at me when I told her this.

"Yes I know. Rose will be so excited if she has the chance to work with young children. She has always wanted children, she is so good with little ones." Esme told me smiling as she spoke about he daughter with such pride. I could tell that Esme was in fact the mother in this family. She loved each and every member of her family equally and all for different reasons. I could tell that she was proud of Rosalie for wanting to do something with her life, and to do something that she would be good at.

We continued to speak for a while before I decided that we should end this conversation before I let my emotions get out of hand again. I hugged Esme thanking her for listening to me and allowing me to understand her better. I got off the sofa and went to put thinks back in my car. Once I put everything back in the boot of the car I leaned against my car and thought back over the conversation that me and Esme had had this afternoon. I started to think about my little girls and remembering them as they played in the fields that we had at the back of the house. I didn't realise that my memory of the girls had triggered the tears in my eyes again. I went and sat on the hood of my car just for something to do. I wiped my tears off my face just in time before I heard a car coming up the driveway. I didn't know who's car it was until I saw the jeep pull up into the garage. I saw Jasper driving the car. I didn't realise that he had got out of the car and had come towards me until he spoke to me.

"Are you ok Bella?" he asked me, concern lacing his voice.

"Yeah im fine. Just had a bit of a emotional day that's all." I told him, I wiped my eyes to make sure that all the tears had gone, but the action didn't escape Jaspers eye.

"I know this is probably the wrong time to ask, but would you mind explaining the tears? How can you cry?" he asked me looking directly in my eye. I lowered my gaze to my lap, trying to hid my face from him.

"I don't know, I've always been able to do it, but only about certain things. I don't have emotional breakdowns all the time" I told him, laughing a little but my gaze was still fixated on my hands in my lap.

I didn't look at Jasper once when he spoke to me, because I didn't want to see his reaction about how I looked at the moment. I was never really self conscious about my looks, but I didn't like to let people see me cry. Esme was the exception because she understood why I was crying.

I felt Jasper put his fingers under my chin to lift my face so that my eyes would meet his.

"You know you can talk to me if you want to. I don't like seeing you like this." He told me. I totally forgot that he could feel my emotions. I suddenly felt bad to exposing his to what I was feeling. I smiled again before I spoke.

"Its ok. I've been talking to Esme this afternoon. We actually have more in common than I thought." I said laughing lightly at just how true that was. Jasper let me chin go, but I kept looking directly at him. I don't think I had ever actually looked at Jasper properly. His dirty blond hair framed his face perfectly and his golden eyes looked at me as if they were glaring into my soul. Jasper kept looking at me and never broke eye contact as he spoke next.

"Are you sure you are ok?" he asked me. I could tell that he was worried about the emotions that were going through me, so I nodded my head and jumped off the hood of my car.

I didn't know what else to say to him, so I stood up on my toes and kissed him lightly on the cheek. I felt a spark of electricity run through my body when his skin touched mine. I wasn't sure if he felt it, but I did.

"Thanks Jasper" I said to him before walking out of the garage and into the house again.

What was this man doing to me? I didn't know how that well and I didn't know why I felt like this. The bad thing was Jasper would know how I feel because he could feel it, that was very embarrassing. I walked into the living room and sat on the sofa and waited for everyone else to come home.

Soooooo What are we thinking? Bella and Jasper are getting closer. Are things going to go further in the next chapter? I'm not saying, but if you review you will find out sooner :) come on everyone, click the little button and tell me something.

:) XXCullenXX

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