It turns out I have internet on the plane so you get another chapter before I'm off for a few days. Sorry to leave you here but I promise I'll post as soon as I'm back from my retreat. I'll also post a chapter or two of The Rescue. I hope you enjoy this chapter - and don't hate me to much for leaving you at this spot!
Charlie helped Jack back up to his room. By this time he was so exhausted he could barely move his legs and knew he must look like an old man. On top of that, the tiredness made it more difficult for him to concentrate, to get his thoughts straight. All he knew was that Sam was here so everything had to be okay.
"I think I've got it now, thanks Charlie", she told him. "I'll just get him to bed."
"You don't want me to help change him into his nightclothes?" Charlie asked, looking at the man who had practically collapsed on the bed.
She considered for a moment. "No, I think I'll just help him pull off his pants and then leave him. He's practically asleep already.
Charlie gave one last look at the man on the bed, thinking that Jack was getting better much faster than Sam acknowledged. He wouldn't be surprised that he knew and understood a lot more than he let on. Still, it wasn't his problem, unless it hurt Sam – then he'd make it his problem!
After Charlie had left, Sam just looked at the half-asleep man for a few moments and then gently smiled. He was just like a little boy, she thought, exhausted after an outing. He wasn't quite asleep but she knew it wouldn't be long.
"Let me help you Jack", she said softly, walking up to him. She helped get his legs onto the bed and his body straightened out. "I'll just help with your pants and then you can go to sleep. I still can't believe you made it downstairs like that. You were naughty not to tell me!" She reached up to undo the buttons on his fly – what she wouldn't give for zippers, but they hadn't been invented yet in Mariscola. She'd gotten down to the second one when his hand covered hers, stopping her from continuing.
"What is it?" she glanced up, only to catch Jack's eyes. She stopped breathing – in the soft light of the one lamp it almost looked like – desire in his eyes. She closed her own briefly. No, it couldn't be. He was a child, an infant. Sexual desire was a thing of the past for this man. "I have to help you Jack", she continued, although her throat was dry. "Please?"
He lifted his hand, although he continued to watch her. She didn't notice but his breathing grew faster. What she did notice was that his body was reacting to her faint touch. Oh god! She started to back away, not sure what was happening, when his hand reached out again and stopped her. He gently pulled her forward until she was half lying on him.
"Jack?" she pleaded. She looked again into his eyes and saw – him. He was not the child of the last few months. She was looking at Jack, the man she'd known for years and he was now looking at her with desire and need. "Jack", she said again, this time with yearning.
He tugged gently until her face came up to his. His eyes roamed her face, watching her with an expression she'd only ever imagined. Without thinking she leaned forward and placed her lips against his.
A flame was ignited and both of them were caught in it. Although his movements were slow and uncoordinated, he was still able to take her in his arms, to hold her and to eventually roll with her until she was under him. He continued to kiss her, to fondle her lips, her neck, her breasts.
She was in heaven. Jack was back – he was here and he was loving her. She allowed all thought, all caution to disappear. All the despair, the anguish, the pain of the past months vanished in the feelings that had been aroused. They both let go of everything – the past, who they were and all that had happened, and allowed themselves to be consumed.
She didn't know how much later it was before she awoke. It was still dark and the lamp had gone out. She was lying naked, pressed up against Jack, who was sound asleep.
A soft cry escaped her throat. What had she done? Oh god! She'd just taken advantage of a man who was irreparably damaged, who had the mental ability of a child, even if his body was that of a man. She'd allowed herself to imagine that he was okay, that he had returned to her, and she had taken advantage of that, of him. What she'd done was tantamount to rape and she knew she'd never forgive herself. With another soft cry she rolled over and off the bed. Jack moved slightly and frowned, but didn't wake up. She was glad – she was afraid of what she'd done and what it had done to him.
She collected her clothes and hurried to her room where she collapsed on her bed. She was too numb to cry, too guilty, too horrified. All she could do was sit there until the sun began to come up. At that moment she knew she had to get out of here, to leave. She couldn't bear to see him, to see the evidence of her shame. She'd used a man she cared about more than anyone in this world – or any other world – and she hated herself.
She quickly dressed, made her way downstairs and walked over to the small cabin which was Charlie's. Sh quietly knocked and when he answered she told him she had to go into town for an early morning fitting. "Would you check on Jack please Charlie?" she'd asked.
Charlie knew something was wrong but by the time he was out of bed and dressed she had already gone. He watched the trail of dust from her wagon as she rode, much too fast, towards town.
"Oh Samantha", he said, "what are you doing?" He turned to the house to see Jack's silhouette in the window and knew this had something to do with him. He shook his head. He'd known something bad was going to happen – and it obviously had. He just prayed that both Samantha and Jack would recover.
Jack had known, as soon as he woke up and she was not there. He knew what she thought of him. He knew that she viewed him as no more than a child – an idiot. He should never have done what he did last night. He'd known it was wrong – but he'd missed her so much. He loved her and seeing her, framed in the light of the lamp, had ignited something in him. But now he'd hurt her – and he would never forgive himself. He slowly walked to where his clothes lay, on the floor, and picked them up. The best thing for him was to leave here. He was a burden, and now would be a constant reminder. Sam deserved peace and she deserved happiness and he would make sure she got both.
Charlie came up and gave him his breakfast which he pretended to eat, not wanting to make the other man suspicious. He suspected however, that Charlie knew something was wrong anyway. He returned a few minutes later and collected the dishes. He was also carrying a plate which was covered with a cloth and a pitcher of water.
"You gonna be okay up here? I have some work to do around the ranch."
Jack nodded, not willing to pretend anymore that he didn't understand.
Charlie's eyes narrowed – he'd suspected there was more in Jack's head than he'd let on. "Okay then. I've brought you a sandwich for lunch because I plan to be out all day. I don't know when – well this should keep you. You gonna be okay?" he asked again.
Jack looked up at him and nodded once more.
Charlie sucked in a breath. God – the man looked like someone had died. He really wondered what had happened between the two of them. He debated for a moment whether or not he should stay – but then figured Jack would prefer to be alone. "Okay then. I'll see you later."
Jack sat waiting, until he saw Charlie ride off and then forced himself to get up. He knew this was going to be difficult.
"Boss, she's here." James looked up from his desk as one of his men walked in the front door. "The Carter woman. You told me to watch out for her. Well, she just drove up in a wagon, looking like the devil was after her."
James frowned and stood up wondering what had brought Samantha to town so early. His plan to woo and win her had come to naught – at least so far – but he still was determined to get his hands on old Henry's land. He needed it and his partners were getting impatient. He'd actually been sitting here debating how he could get rid of Jack – or her – without anyone being suspicious.
He'd figured that marrying the woman would be the easiest way. As her husband he'd automatically become owner of her property and he could do with it what he wanted. Besides, she was an attractive woman and he'd enjoy having her. Of course, knowing him he'd get tired of her eventually. But that wasn't a problem. Accidents happened all the time on ranches and she didn't have any family to care or investigate.
Something had obviously happened out at the house and he figured he'd better find out what it was. Maybe he could take advantage of the situation.
It took Jack over an hour to make his way out to the barn. By the time he arrived he was exhausted and shaking but still determined. The next part was going to be the hardest, he knew. Saddling a horse when you were half disabled was going to be a bugger!
Fortunately he knew how to ride. He hadn't done it in a few years but he'd been good at it once and he figured it was something you didn't forget. Of course he'd probably feel like hell tomorrow, but that didn't matter. What mattered was he had to get away.
He really had no idea where to go, but his mind was not yet capable of totally clear and rational thought. He still suffered from blanks, in both his memory and his reasoning. It didn't occur to him that he had no money, no supplies and no idea of where he was. He just knew that it would be better for Sam if he was out of her life – so out of her life he'd go.
There were three horses in the barn and he looked for the most likely one. He eventually picked a gentle looking mare, knowing he wasn't up to handling a high strung horse. Still, she looked strong and sound – and had turned to look at him with gentle eyes. He gave her a pat and allowed himself to lean up against her for a few moments. "Don't – know – name", he managed to say to her. He still found it difficult to speak although he could get a few words out and he had been getting better.
He looked around and found where the tack was kept. He sighed – not looking forward to carrying the saddle and lifting it up, but knowing he had no choice.
By the time he was done he figured it was almost noon. He suddenly wished he'd brought the food Charlie had prepared but he really wasn't up to going all the way back in to get it. He had brought a canteen of water, at least thinking that far ahead. "Kay girl", he patted her. "Now – or – never!"
It was almost never! He just couldn't get his leg up high enough to reach the stirrup and he didn't have the strength to pull himself up with his arms. He stared at the horse, which looked at him as if wondering what was taking so long. He was about ready to give up when he noticed a stool in the corner. He wanted to hit his head – stupid Jack! He should have looked for one immediately.
He pulled it over and managed to get himself up on it. It gave him just enough height so he was able to kick his leg over the horse's back and put his feet in the stirrups. For the next five minutes he lay with his head on the horse's neck, completely worn out before he'd even started.
He clicked his tongue and kicked his heels and 'girl' started walking. He quickly fell into the rhythm of sitting on a horse again and slowly headed out – away from the ranch and away from Sam.
Sam thought about going to see Rebecca but it was still awfully early. Instead she decided to wander down by the stream for awhile until it was late enough that she could go see her friend. She desperately needed to talk to someone – although not about what had happened. That was something she would never share with anyone. It was her hidden shame.
"I find you here again?" a voice said from behind her. She swung around, startled, only to see James standing there.
"Oh, hello", she said softly. She really didn't want to deal with him right now, but also didn't want to be rude. "I just – I came to see Rebecca but it's too early so I decided to wait here."
"I see", he smiled. "Well, I'm glad because it gives me a chance to see you and talk to you. How are you doing?"
"I'm fine" she answered, trying to smile in return. She still felt embarrassed about telling him she wasn't interested in him. She wondered briefly if she'd made a mistake. Maybe the best thing for all of them would be for her to find someone else. She could still look after Jack but there wouldn't be the danger of –
"You look upset. I hope it wasn't me?" he said carefully.
"You?" She looked at him in surprise. "Oh – no – no it's not you. I just felt like I needed to get away from the ranch for a bit. You know – it's a nice day and I thought it would be good to -" her voice petered out as she realized she was babbling.
James knew he had to be careful here. There was something funny about this woman and the man she looked after. He didn't know what it was, but the last thing he wanted to do was scare her. No – he had to pretend to be simply concerned about her as a friend. In the meantime, he needed to find out more information.
He chatted to her for a few more minutes – about inconsequential things. He didn't ask to see her again or press her on anything. Rather he was the concerned friend, the person who was there if she needed anything. He could see her begin to relax and felt a sense of triumph.
He offered to walk with her to Rebecca's and then said a proper goodbye. He didn't suggest seeing her again – but let his offer of friendship stand. She gave him a grateful look as Rebecca opened her door and she went in to see her friend.
James stood in the street, considering what had happened, and smiled. Yes, things were working out quite well.
When he got back to his office another one of his men – one of the ones he used to gather information on people of the town – was waiting. "What is it?" he asked with a frown. He had things to think about right now and didn't need to be worrying about the petty squabbles that went on daily in Mariscola.
"It's that guy", Homer whispered. "You know – the lunatic."
James frowned and told him to be quiet. He unlocked his door and ushered the man inside. After closing the door he turned to Homer. "Now, tell me. What about him?"
"He left Henry's ranch", he said. "Stu and me watched from the hills, like you told us to. The woman left early, heading to town. Than Charlie left this morning and headed up to the north field. We didn't think anything else was gonna happen as the lunatic never comes outside. We see him sometimes in the window but that's all. Well, about an hour after Charlie left he comes out and goes to the barn." He frowned for a while, puzzled.
"Well?" James asked impatiently.
"Oh – he was in the barn for a long time. We couldn't figure out what was going on" he grinned, "unless he was having some fun with the animals. We've heard things about lunatics -"
"Oh for god's sake – tell me what happened!"
"Okay, okay. Well, like I said, he was in the barn for a long time and then he comes out, riding a horse like he'd been doing it for years."
"Riding? Where did he go?"
"He went off towards Tulelee. Stu's following him to see where he's headed. He was going slow so I thought I'd come and let you know."
James stayed silent for a few seconds, the other man becoming nervous. There was nothing more frightening than James when he was angry.
"Good." Was all he said. Bert breathed a sigh of relief.
"Here's what I want you to do", James smiled. "Go and find Stu and keep following him. Make sure there's no one around and when he's far enough away from here, kill him. And make sure the body won't be found!"
"Uh -" Homer shifted on his feet. He hadn't been asked to kill anyone before, at least not by this man. It wasn't really part of his duties.
"Don't worry", James said with contempt. "You'll be compensated accordingly." When Homer looked confused James sighed. Why did he hire morons? "You'll be paid well for the job. Now go, before you lose them both."
Jack had realized a while ago that what he was doing was stupid. He hadn't been thinking straight and had allowed his despair to dictate his actions. He knew he had to go back. The only problem was he didn't know how.
His mind had begun to wander and he kept losing touch with reality. Some of it was the heat but more of it was related to the fact that Jack's mind still hadn't healed completely. His thoughts tended to move from one thing to another, without him having a clear understanding of anything.
He looked around the desolate landscape and knew he was lost. He didn't even know what planet he was on. Where was his team? Where were Teal'c and Daniel and – Sam! Sam – there was something about her. Something he's done. Oh god – he'd killed her. He'd taken the zat and shot her twice and she was dead.
A moment later he remembered that no – she wasn't dead. She'd come back to him. Was she lost? Was that why he was here? Was he looking for her? She was being chased by the super soldier, that was it. He had to find her before she was killed. But where? Where should he look? He saw nothing but desert. But ahead – he squinted – yes, there were hills, mountains. That's where she'd be. She'd go there to hide and he had to find her.
Soon his tired horse was climbing up the trail, slowly. She was almost as tired as he was and needed water as badly. He'd given her the last of his water a while ago but they both needed more. If he could find Sam she'd tell him where the water was. She was smart like that.
By this time he was leaning forward, unable to stay upright in the saddle. He somehow knew if he fell off the horse he'd never get back up. Sam, he had to find Sam.
He suddenly straightened in the saddle. He didn't want her to see him bent over like an old man. But that only lasted a few seconds as his tiredness made him slump back down, as he was unable to sit straight for long.
At that precise moment there was a shot and Jack felt a sharp pain and then nothing. The men watching saw him topple from his horse and lay still.
"You got him Stu", Homer said with a grin.
"Yeah, although he moved at the last second. We better make sure he's dead and then get rid of the body."
The two hit-men got on their horses and rode over to where the man was lying on the ground, the horse standing still beside him.
They could see that his head was covered in blood and he wasn't moving at all.
"He looks dead", Homer said. "You'd better check."
"Me? Hey, I shot him. The least you can do is check on him."
"Fine" Homer scowled but got off his horse. "What was that?" he turned around, sure he'd heard something. "I think someone's coming."
"Quick, toss his body into that gully and then let's get out of here."
Without pause Homer dragged the body of the dead man and threw it off the small cliff a few feet away. It wasn't deep but the gully was full of brush and would be as good a place as any to hide a body.
"Hey, let's take the horse", Homer said.
"Don't be a fool. They'll catch us with it and know we did something. Just leave it here. It'll head towards water and someone will find it." Stu suddenly lifted his head. "You're right, someone's coming. Let's go."
Homer mounted his horse quickly and the two turned and rode off the way they had come, back to tell James they'd done the job they were hired for.
The horse stood silently, waiting for her rider. The silence of the afternoon was disturbed only by a creaking sound which drew ever closer to the burial spot of the man called Jack.