Okay – I lied! Not intentionally though. I really really meant to end it here. However, it got so long I had to stop. There really is just a teeny bit left so I'll finish tomorrow. I'm never saying I'm ending a story again, until I actually do! Thanks.
He looked out of the window and wondered how Janet was doing – the Janet in Mariscola, not the one here. He hoped that she and Charlie were together. He somehow thought it likely, although he knew he'd never really know. He wouldn't ever go back to Mariscola and a part of him grieved. In some ways he considered it the place of his birth, not his real, physical birth, but the beginning of the person he was now. He had no real way of knowing if he'd return to the Jack O'Neill of before, of this world, but again, somehow he thought it wasn't too likely.
He knew he could never really explain it to anyone, but he knew that something inside him had changed irrevocably on that planet. He might end up regaining all his memories, but it was more than the loss of those that had changed him. Maybe it was being so helpless, having to rely completely on someone else that had changed him. Maybe it was getting away from the battles of this Earth and returning to a simpler time. Or maybe it was that he was secure in the love of the woman that had taken the journey with him. Whatever it was, he could feel that there was a peace inside him that there hadn't been for a long time, if ever.
He was still frightened of what lay ahead, of what was unknown in this world, but with his friends by his side he knew he would one day get beyond the fear and to the place he wanted to be. Where that was – he still wasn't quite sure.
He glanced sideways at the woman seated beside him and felt a mixture of happiness and fear. He rejoiced in their love, but worried whether it would be strong enough to survive. For the fact of the matter was, they really didn't know each other as equals, something that he knew was essential if they were to have a life together. Although he could remember little of his life as Colonel O'Neill, he was aware that Sam had served under him, was his subordinate. He gathered, from what little had been said and from what he had felt, that there had been something between them for a long time. But it had been hidden, kept in the secret corners of their hearts, and never brought out into the light. Knowing Sam she had probably been the ever loyal soldier, obedient to his commands and putting duty first. They had not been equals.
And then there was Mariscola. Here too they had been unequal, but this time it was Sam who was in control, in charge. She had had to look after everything for him, had had to make all decisions and do everything to keep him alive. He had been an infant, a child, an adolescent to her mature adult. Not only that – and this worried him even more – she had been a mother to him, not a lover.
Except for that one time. He looked at her again, seeing her hand gently covering the slight bump around her middle. That one night they had together, but even that had been, not of two equals, but of two wounded people who loved.
He sighed heavily, knowing that the joy and the dream of a short while ago had to be put on hold. He loved her – yes, and he believed she loved him – but they didn't know each other, not yet, not as equals.
He didn't know how to tell her, how not to hurt her, but he had to. If their love had any chance to grow and to build, they'd have to start with a solid foundation. They'd have to learn about one another, they'd have to talk and discover and hold each other and argue and fight and love – as equals, as friends, not as commander and soldier or mother and child. He didn't know how to tell her.
"I think I should go to my house Jack", she said softly, finally breaking the silence. Teal'c and Daniel sat in the front, giving their two friends privacy. "I need to – sort some things out. Will you be okay if Daniel stays with you?"
He felt guilty for the relief he felt. He wanted to be with her, to hold her, but he also needed some time, some space. "Yes", he gently reached out and touched her fingers lightly, fleetingly. "I'll be fine. How about you? You shouldn't be alone."
She smiled and looked relieved as well, which should have hurt him, but somehow he knew it was okay. "I'll ask Teal'c if he'll come over. I'm sure he won't mind."
In the end it had been decided. Teal'c would stay with Sam for a few days, until she'd had a chance to reacclimatize herself to Earth and to her home. Daniel would stay with Jack.
"When?" she asked him carefully. "When will I see you?"
He couldn't bear that she sounded so sad. At that moment he wanted to pull her into his arms, to tell her that it was okay, that they had to be together, now, always, but he restrained himself. It wouldn't work right now and this meant everything to him. For once in his life he was going to make sure he did the smart thing, the right thing. He was not going to lose the most precious thing in his world. "Soon", he said. "We need -"
"- a little time, I know", she smiled. "I just – not too long, okay?"
He smiled back at her, relieved again. "No, not too long. I need to find myself again Sam", he whispered softly. "before I can be what you need and what – he or she", he pointed to her tummy, "needs. But I won't be too long, I promise."
She nodded in understanding, although he could tell she really didn't like it. The hand at her waist tightened and then relaxed. "We do need you Jack, don't ever forget that."
"I won't." He finally leaned over and gave her a gentle kiss on the cheek just as the car came to a slow stop in front of her house. He got out of the car and stood there as she retrieved her few possessions from the back of the car. Teal'c stood silently, waiting for her while Daniel sat still in the car.
She walked up and looked at him carefully and then leaned forward. This time it was she who gave him a soft kiss, but hers was on his mouth. "Soon. You promised."
As she turned and walked away he held his hand up to his mouth and then slowly nodded. "I promised." His words floated gently to her ears, and, without turning back, she smiled.
Jack was silent the rest of the way to his house. Daniel looked at him a number of times but knew his friend needed silence. He worried that things were not okay, although he didn't think Jack looked upset – just pensive.
"We're here", he finally said, after they'd sat in Jack's driveway for a few moments. It was only then that his companion lifted his eyes and looked around, surprised.
"Oh. I didn't realize." Jack reached for the handle and let himself out. Once out of the car he stood silently, looking at the house in front of him. His house. The feeling was strange and vaguely disturbing, especially when he became conscious of the fact that he didn't recognize it at all. For some reason, he had had the picture of a white, two story house with a porch and a child's swing set in the back yard. This brown house, surrounded by trees, didn't feel right.
"You want to go in?" Daniel asked, careful not to ask if he recognized it. He was grateful that his friends never asked him that, seeming content to let him deal with his memory loss in his own way. Still, he found himself suddenly wanting to confide in someone, to tell someone – Daniel – that he felt lost and frightened. He had this desperate urge to ask to go back, to go home to Mariscola.
"Yeah", he finally answered, knowing there was no other choice. This was his home – this house, and this planet – and he might as well get used to them. Still, he stood there, his feet frozen and his body unwilling to move.
"Come on then", Daniel was beside him, his hand warm and reassuring on his shoulder. "Let's go. There's cold beer in the fridge and I thought we could order pizza.
"Pizza?" he asked, startled. He had a mental picture of a flat round crust, oozing with red sauce and cheese and lots of little bits of stuff. His stomach growled and he glanced in embarrassment at Daniel.
"Yeah, I'm starved too", his friend said. "Come on, let's go eat."
And it was as simple as that. He followed Daniel to the front door and waited while he fumbled with the key. Just as he was going to put it into the lock he stopped and turned. "I think you should do this Jack", he said. "It is your house so you deserve the honor of opening the door."
He took the key, ashamed at the trembling in his hand, although he was grateful Daniel didn't say anything. He reached out and placed the key in the lock and turned it, surprised at how easy it was. He glanced again at his friend, who simply raised his eyebrow and nodded. With a deep breath Jack turned the knob and pushed the door open.
Oh God! He closed his eyes and allowed the feeling to wash over him. The smell – it was home! Not that it smelled bad, for someone had obviously been over to clean it but still, it smelled like – dinners in front of the TV, friends over for the evening, reading in front of the fire, listening to music with the lights out. It smelled like private times, thinking of his son and the things they'd done together, of missions gone right – and gone wrong, of days as a child, his parents and family. It smelled like – his life.
"You okay Jack?" Daniel's worried voice broke through the warmth of his homecoming.
He lifted his head and looked at his friend, love and affection in his eyes. "I'm fine Danny", he said softly. "I'm home."
As he and Daniel sat in the living room, drinking beer and eating pizza – God, how could he ever have forgotten pizza! – he allowed more of the feelings and memories to wash over him. They were still unformed, still disconnected, but they proved to him that this was his life, that this was the place he needed to be. He knew Daniel was worried about him, about his distraction and his silence, but he was no longer worried. No, this was right, this was home.
"Thank you", he said softly, interrupting something Daniel was saying. The other man canted his head and looked at him, a question in his eyes. "Thank you for your friendship", he said, "and for caring. I don't remember much still Daniel", he said, continuing softly, "but I do remember that I could always – can always count on you. I know that you are someone special in my life, and that I've been blessed to know you and to call you friend."
The other man looked surprised and then embarrassed and finally and simply grateful. Tears formed in his eyes and he reached out with one hand and put it on Jack's shoulder. "I'm the one who has been blessed Jack", he said simply. "You're family, and you'll never know how much that means to me."
He did, of course he knew, because Daniel – and Teal'c, and Sam and George and Janet – they were all his family, something he'd never thought to have again. He smiled slightly and lifted his bottle at the other man, giving him a silent toast. As he took a drink of beer he thought again. I'm home.
That night, after Daniel had gone to bed, he snuck out and climbed the ladder to the roof of his house. He somehow remembered that this was a place of comfort, of solitude, of peace. He remembered about his telescope – he'd have to ask where it was – for now he'd simply look up at the stars and be home.
"So, what do you want to do today?" A chipper Daniel was pouring himself a cup of coffee as Jack walked into the kitchen, sporting a truly remarkable case of bed-head. Daniel grinned – he couldn't help himself. It was times like these that Jack most closely resembled the child he was sure lurked inside his friend.
"I don't know", Jack answered, grabbing a mug and pouring his own cup. He sat down at the counter and simply breathed in the aroma, allowing it to wake him more fully after his late-night star gazing.
"Up too late were you?" Daniel grinned knowingly. "I thought about setting up your telescope for you, but figured you'd never get to bed then."
Jack looked at him in surprise, but before he had a chance to speak Daniel continued.
"I know you Jack", he said. "You always go up there when -"
"When?" he prompted.
"Oh – whenever something important happens. It's your – thing."
"My thing?" he said, laughter in his voice.
"Yeah, you know – the thing that keeps you going, that allows you to come down or to pick you up. Your thing."
"I see", he answered, and he really did. "And what, if I may ask, is your thing?"
Daniel grinned and simply lifted his cup. "Coffee", he answered. "It cures almost everything."
The two men enjoyed a leisurely breakfast, chatting about nothing in particular. It was all so normal that Jack couldn't help but feel himself relax even more. Last evening had been good, it had been necessary, but it also had been difficult. Today was about starting his new life – or, to be more accurate, about re-starting his old life.
"Jack?" Daniel asked abruptly, a slight question in his voice.
"Daniel?" he replied, his brows raised. He had a sense of – familiarity – somehow knowing this little scenario had been played out many times in the past. It gave him a sense of comfort.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure", he said, although his voice sounded hesitant. He wondered if he was going to like this.
"I'm just wondering – well, actually Teal'c and I were wondering -"
"Yes?" he prompted, when the other man didn't seem to want to continue.
"We're wondering about you and Sam." He said, the words tumbling out in a rush.
"About me and Sam?" Jack answered, innocently. He could feel an impish sense of mischievousness settle over him.
"Yeah – I mean, you seem awfully close and we were kind of wondering if -"
"If what Daniel?" Play it cool O'Neill, he said to himself. "What are you asking?"
"Well, we kind of wondered if there was maybe something serious going on between the two of you?"
"Serious? What do you mean by serious?"
"Come on Jack, you know what I mean!"
"I do? Well, I don't remember too much, but you guys did tell me that she was my subordinate before we went to Mariscola. I guess that's kind of serious."
"I mean now, not before."
"Now? Well, we're friends. I mean, she did look after me when I was – sick. That was certainly serious."
"Yeah, but you're not going to be, are you?" Daniel said, sounding aggrieved.
"I'm not going to be what?"
"Serious!"
"Oh. Well, I kind of enjoy not having to be serious for a change Daniel", he grinned. "The last few months – well, let's just say I could use some fun and not serious time."
"Okay", Daniel sighed. "I guess we were wrong. I just thought – never mind."
"Okay", Jack agreed. He settled back and suddenly felt guilty. After all Daniel and Teal'c had done, why was he so hesitant to tell them the truth? He could trust them. He knew they wouldn't do anything to hurt him or Sam. He shook his head. You can be a real jerk sometimes Jack, you know that. "It's still new Daniel", he said quietly.
The younger man looked up in surprise, not quite sure what Jack was saying.
"Sam and me", O'Neill explained. "It's – new and I guess I'm a little unused to talking about it. I -"
"You don't have to tell me Jack, not if you don't want to. I really didn't mean to pry. I guess I was just – both Teal'c and I care for you both and we just – wondered."
"It's okay, and I want to tell you. No, actually I want to ask you – " he rubbed his hands through his hair. "I don't want to screw this up Danny."
"Screw it up? What do you mean?"
"You've always known haven't you– or maybe not. Anyway, I've had – feelings – for Carter for a long time."
"We know Jack. We also know you and she never did anything about them."
"No – well we did on Mariscola."
Daniel's one eyebrow spoke volumes, although he refrained from asking for details.
"I mean – we grew close", he explained. "It was only briefly, before I left and went to Janet's but – I realized then that I loved her. Of course I didn't think she'd actually love me, not in the state I was -"
"She's loved you for years Jack", Daniel said quietly, confidently.
"Really?" Jack looked at him eagerly. "I – I wondered, but I wasn't sure."
"Oh yeah. Most people wouldn't have known, but both Teal'c and I did, and Janet and – General Hammond I think, although he'd never say."
"Oh yeah", Jack grimaced, "Hammond knew all right – the old –" Jack closed him mouth, realizing he was on the verge of being disrespectful, although he couldn't help the small grin that escaped. "Oh yeah – and he certainly knows now!"
"Really?" Daniel said again, surprised. "How – why?"
"Sam told him", he said. He sighed again and took a deep breath. "She's pregnant."
Daniel's eyes grew round – which looked quite funny behind his glasses. "Pregnant? But how?"
"Daniel! Surely you're old enough to know how!"
"I know how Jack", he said, disgusted. "I mean – who?"
"Me of course!" Jack sounded slightly irritated, although it was more out of embarrassment than anything. He felt funny talking to his friend about this. "We – I told you we grew close."
"Boy, did you ever!"
"Daniel!" he said, sounding scandalized.
"Well – are you happy about it? Is Sam, okay with it?"
"I guess", he replied. When Daniel looked at him in concern he grinned slightly. "Okay, I'm thrilled. Sam – yeah, she says she's happy."
"Good! I'm happy for you both." When Jack grew serious he narrowed his eyes. "Shouldn't I be?"
"What? Oh yeah. I mean. I guess I'm just a little nervous. We didn't really have time to – you know – get to know each other and now we're going to be parents. It's a little – overwhelming."
"Yeah, I can imagine. But you guys are meant to be together. Teal'c and I have agreed on that for a long time. Everything will be fine."
"You think?"
"I know." Daniel realized that his friend really was nervous about this whole thing. He nudged his friend. "Look, I know this really has to feel crazy, but we're all here for you and Sam loves you. Everything will work out fine and – you're going to be amazing parents."
"I hope so", Jack answered, sounding unsure. "I – we're going to take it slow. Spend time getting to really know each other before rushing into anything."
Daniel nodded. "Just don't take too long Jack. She needs you and I think you need her too."
"Yeah, I do", Jack answered quietly. "Thanks again Daniel."
"You're welcome. Uh Jack – the General – what? I mean, you're not going to get in trouble or anything are you?"
"No, at least the General says we're not. I guess we were away long enough and didn't think we were getting home. And of course, neither of us is on active duty right now."
"That's good. I really am happy for you two." He suddenly grinned. "Hey that means I'll be 'Uncle Daniel."
"Uncle Danny", Jack corrected with a grin.
Jack watched his friend carefully for the next few minutes and wanted to laugh at him. Daniel tried to sit quietly, but was fidgeting terribly.
"Go ahead", Jack finally told him. Daniel looked at him carefully. "Go ahead and call Teal'c. I know you want to!"
The next few weeks were difficult for Jack, although he had his friends to help him through them. He slowly was rediscovering things about Earth. Sometimes the memories would return, in other cases it was simply that he was relearning things. The neurologist that Janet had him see basically told him – nothing. It seems his memories might all return, or they might not. He might always have blanks in his memory but he was coming to accept that fact more easily as each day passed. He knew his acceptance was in large part because of his teammates.
They supported him totally and never seemed to question him or get impatient, even when he would find himself totally lost at the simplest things. It took him a while to even want to go out in public, afraid that he'd do something stupid or embarrassing. They had stood by him always and often it was Daniel or Sam – and sometimes even Teal'c – who would whisper things in his ear to let him know what he was supposed to do or say. Fortunately the need for that was getting less and less as each day went by, although occasionally something still surprised him.
As for work – well, he was still on medical leave and wasn't particularly anxious to return. His friends all assumed that he'd want to get back as soon as possible and he was having a hard time telling them the truth; that he didn't know if he ever wanted to return. As each day went by, even though he was remembering more and more, his former life seemed – distant, like it belonged to another person. We wondered if he'd been given a second chance at a new life, or if he was just hiding. He didn't know, and increasingly it was bothering him. The problem was, there was no one to talk to about it.
As for Sam – well, that was going well, or at least he thought it was. They were spending time together, getting to know one another as friends. He could still make her laugh – something she confessed had been one of the first things she liked about him. And she could still make him feel – amazed – by her brilliance and by her warmth. He couldn't get over how lucky he was. Still, there was something not quite – right – and he began to worry that it wasn't going to happen. Again, he didn't know who to talk to, although he desperately needed someone to help him, to advise him. He felt like she was slipping away from him and he was afraid.
"What's wrong Sam?" Daniel came up behind her quietly and she jumped, startled out of her reverie.
"Oh Daniel, I didn't hear you. What's up?" Sam turned a brilliant smile on her friend, but he didn't respond.
"Sam, come on. What's wrong?" He'd been worried about her for days and even more worried about Jack. He'd thought they would have resolved things long before now, but instead their relationship seemed stalled. Sam was showing now and it was known to everyone that she was pregnant, although she hadn't as yet told anyone who the father was. Some speculated that it was Colonel O'Neill, while others suspected someone on the planet. She seemed to be oblivious to any of the gossip that was going around and went about her work in a daze.
"What do you mean Daniel?" she asked, not looking at him. She turned back to her computer. "I'm fine, nothing's wrong."
"Sam, don't lie to me", he said gently. "If you don't want to tell me, I won't bug you, but I know you well enough to know that something's up."
She continued to stare at her monitor for a long time and Daniel was about to turn to leave when she finally spoke.
"I don't know if he still wants me", she said
"You – what? Sam, what are you talking about?"
She twirled on her chair and faced him. "Jack. I don't know if he still wants me. He hasn't – I mean, he treats me like a friend but nothing more."
Daniel stared at her, not even sure where to start. "Sam, whatever gave you that idea? He adores you. God, you can see it in his eyes anytime he's looking at you – hell, even when he's just thinking about you. When you're not around all he talks about is 'Sam this' and 'Sam that'. Of course he wants you."
"Then why doesn't he say anything Daniel? We've been back for over three months and he hasn't even so much as –as kissed me."
Daniel closed his eyes, not quite sure how to deal with this. As much as he was happy for his friends, he still found this whole thing to be a bit uncomfortable. It had always been there, in the background, but for years it had only been something they were vaguely aware of and neither Sam nor Jack had ever done anything overt. "Uh – have you kissed him?" he finally asked.
"What?" she said, confused by the question.
"You know – have you kissed him?"
"Me? But – I mean – why would I -"
"Sam, the man is still finding his way. He still feels – lost and unsure. Everything is new to him and I'm sure he feels inadequate and – and – knowing him he's afraid that you feel sorry for him, or he'll make you feel guilty or some such thing. God Sam, you know what he's like! He wants to kiss you, I think he just feels that he shouldn't. And he's also probably doubting how you feel."
"You think he wants to?" she asked hopefully. "Kiss me, I mean?"
"Of course he does."
"But how do you know?"
"Sam – I – God, you guys really need to talk to each other. No, I take that back – you should simply get a room and have mad, passionate sex. Sam – the guy's probably taken more cold showers in the past few months than in his entire life. Even Teal'c has noticed it and was wondering why you two don't just go and – do it!"
She looked at him as if he'd just told her the Goa'uld had attacked Earth and taken the Queen of England as a host. Her mouth opened and shut a few times but nothing came out. Daniel had trouble not grinning. It was a rare sight indeed to see Sam completely gobsmacked.
"So, I suggest you get off that pretty little butt of yours and go over to his house and grab him, throw him to the ground and let him know you love him. That's all he's waiting for Sam. I mean really – you're not living in the 19th century anymore. Woman can make the first move you know!"
She stood up, leaned over and gave him a fast, hard kiss on the mouth. "Thank you Daniel", she said. "Can you please close down my computer and tell the General I had an emergency and had to go home."
"An emergency?" he grinned.
"Yeah – I have to go and" she turned back to him and grinned, "have mad, passionate sex with Jack. Oh, and Daniel – don't come over tonight okay and pass the message on to Teal'c." With that she was gone.
Daniel sauntered back to his office, whistling.
"Daniel Jackson, for what reason do you appear so pleased?" Teal'c stopped him in the hallway near his office.
"I just spoke with Sam", he said.
Teal'c raised his eyebrow in inquiry.
"Yup – and I told her to go and – well – to go and put Jack out of his misery! She left and told us not to disturb them tonight – or tomorrow I suspect."
Teal'c stared for a moment, nodded and then turned to walk beside Daniel the remaining distance to his office. "You did well my friend", he said. "I will be glad to no longer have to deal with a – frustrated Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter."
"You and me both Teal'c, you and me both!"
Sam covered the distance between the base and Jack's house in record time. She intentionally kept her mind blank, refusing to think of anything besides his lips and chest and arms and hands – oh those hands! Then there was his butt – very nice butt, although she'd really like to see it without those damned cargo pants. His legs – long and lean and very, very nice. His face – well, there was no way around it, he was a very handsome man. She could get lost in those eyes. Of course there was more – she'd only had a glimpse that once, but she remembered - . She could feel herself blush – or at least grow hot – hotter – God, she had to get there soon or she was going to spontaneously combust.
She pulled up to his house, behind his truck – he'd finally gotten up the courage to get behind the wheel and fortunately driving had come back to him very quickly. She hopped out of her car and rushed to the front door.
"Damn!" Why the hell had he locked his door? He never usually locked it. In fact, they were always giving him hell for his lack of caution. So why now, the one time she wanted in quickly? She leaned on the doorbell, letting it ring continuously. She knew it would drive him crazy and wasn't in the least surprised when the door crashed open and he was standing there, a scowl on his face.
"Sam?" His expression changed instantly to one of confusion and then concern. "What's wr - ooph" he cried as she barreled into him, pushing him back into the hall and kicking the door behind her. Before he had a chance to speak again she had shoved him against the wall and had plastered her lips again his.
It wasn't a gentle or romantic kiss – it was rather, a passionate, frustrated, sexually charged kiss, that was hot and wet and invasive. He didn't stand a chance as the woman he loved – lusted after – desired – as she assaulted his mouth with everything she had in her.
He attempted to put his arms around her, to stop and ask her what was going on, but she stopped him. She grabbed his arms and pinned them to the wall. He could easily, if he had wanted to, have gotten free from her. He was still much stronger than her – but for some reason, he suddenly felt incredibly weak and so simply – allowed – her – to – have "Mmmm", he murmured into those lips which were doing things to him which he was pretty sure were either illegal, or not allowed in this galaxy. "Smm?" he tried to speak.
"Shhh", she whispered, capturing his mouth again. Her hands suddenly let go of his arms and began to roam. Anytime he'd try and touch her or take back some control, she'd stop him. "No", she murmured. "Me!" It wasn't very coherent, but he understood and simply relaxed and let her – touch – "Oooh God", he groaned. Her hand had made its way under his shirt and "Mmmn", he murmured again.
Part of him wondered if he'd had a relapse, if his brain had 'refrozen'. He lost the ability to think. He couldn't remember anything at all. Who was he? He didn't know. Who was she? He didn't know either although he was pretty sure she was a goddess! Where was he? Who the hell cared. "Oh God – yes!"
"Up" she murmured against his neck. He felt the tingle all the way to his toes.
"Yeah", he murmured back, into her hair, "I am."
He could feel her giggle and she leaned back slightly. "I meant upstairs", she clarified, her face alive with laughter and – something else – something that sent joy rushing through him.
"Oh – yeah", he answered, slightly embarrassed but totally willing. She took his hand and led him up to his bedroom. He had a brief thought that he really should have made his bed and – hell, he rather thought his underwear was lying around but as she dragged him in and threw him down on that messy bed, he simply grabbed his boxers and tossed them across the room – the ones on the bed at any rate. He'd let her handle the other ones! He let out a 'huff' of air and she landed on top of him. "Be careful", he warned breathlessly, as part of his anatomy was – kind of in the way.
"Don't worry", she said, again speaking into his neck. "I'll be very careful.
Damn – there were those tingles again, but this time they led directly to – "SAM!"
"Yes Jonathan?" she asked naughtily, "See, I'm being very careful and very gentle!"
"You don't need to be that gentle", he told her. Big mistake that! He wondered if he was going to survive. As he gasped he decided it didn't really matter. If he had to go – this was definitely the way to do it!
Yup – there was a heaven, he decided afterwards. He'd wondered for years, not sure there was any way to prove or disprove it. Now, of course, he'd had direct, absolute, irrefutable proof. He'd officially died and gone there. As he lay there, his own angel draped over top of him – totally naked and glistening with sweat – and other evidence of their recent trip to the 'beyond', he decided that for whatever reason he'd just been given a glimpse of perfection. His arms tightened around her and he gently kissed the top of her head, which was all he could see. "I love you Samantha", he said quietly. "I love you."
She woke up later – much later – to the sound of gentle snores. She was still lying on top of Jack, covering him like a blanket. She stared at his face – so handsome and so relaxed looking. Since they'd returned from Mariscola he'd lost that look he'd had for so many years. He had remembered many things over the last few months, including some bad and hard memories, but for some reason he seemed to be at peace now, more so than at any time since she'd known him. She hoped, for his sake, that this new found peace would last, that it wouldn't disappear as his life returned to normal.
"Hello?" his sleepy voice startled her and she looked down into his velvety eyes.
"Hi", she answered. She started to squirm, suddenly embarrassed. God – she'd attacked the poor man. What had she been -"
"Stop thinking" he said softly, knowing her too well. "And thank you!" he lifted his head and kissed her. "I – that was – amazing."
"You didn't mind?" she asked tentatively. She had come on so strong. What if he didn't -"
"Sam, I said stop thinking. And did I mind? Hell woman – you just fulfilled every fantasy I think I've ever had. What you did – God! You realize I am absolutely never letting you go?"
"Really?" she grinned. "You mean you still want me?"
"Still want you?" he asked incredulously. "I've always wanted you. It's just that now you don't have a choice!" he grinned. "And when I said I'm not letting you go?"
"Yes?"
"I'm meant from my bed. I'm afraid you're stuck right here, right on top of me."
She giggled but then grew serious. "Then why-?"
"Why what?"
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"Why didn't you", he asked calmly. "We're living in a modern age Sam. It doesn't have to be the guy you know."
"I know but -"
"But?" He grinned again.
He knew damned well what he was doing, the evil, sneaky bastard, she thought. Oh well – it had all worked out. She reached up and pulled his head down again and kissed him, this time with more gentleness and less – passion. "But now it's your turn", she murmured into his mouth. "I think I said plenty earlier. Now I want to hear how – Jack!"
There was no more talking for a long, long time – although the afternoon was broken by the sounds of two people very much in love, and very intent on showing that to each other.
"Do you really think this is better Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked his friend as they watched the two of them holding hands and snuggling on Daniel's couch.
Daniel shook his head in disgust. "No, I think I liked it a whole lot better when they were tippy toeing around each other. This is -"
"Yes it is", replied Teal'c, actually cringing at O'Neill's giggle. "Would you like to go with me to get a beer and watch some hockey at the local drinking establishment?"
"Yeah, that'd be great. Do you think they'll notice if we leave?"
Teal'c considered the couple for a moment. "No, I do not. Let us go."
It was quite a while later when Sam asked. "Uh – where are Daniel and Teal'c?"
Jack looked around vaguely. "I don't know. Daniel! Teal'c!" he called. When no one answered he shrugged. "Probably took Junior for a walk. Now, where were we?"
"Come on guys, it'll be fun", Jack urged Daniel. He was sitting in Daniel's lab, watching him try and translate some kind of scroll that one of the teams had brought back. Teal'c was standing in the doorway, having come to take the archaeologist for a coffee break.
"No it won't", Daniel said distractedly.
"What do you mean?" Jack said, sounding hurt. "Of course it will. It'll be the whole team, and Janet can come too and Cassie. We can roast a turkey and everything. The cabin's great at this time of year."
"I believe Daniel Jackson means that watching you and Major Carter – snuggle and 'make in' for four days will not be enjoyable for any of us."
Jack's eyes got big in response. He then swung to look at Daniel, who had dropped the scroll and was looking up in interest.
"Yeah, he's right Jack, although I think he means 'make out'. You and Sam have been – well – let's say you're not a lot of fun to be around these days."
Jack bit his lip and squirmed a bit. He hadn't realized, but now that he thought about it, he knew that what his friends were saying was true. Oh God – they'd been acting like a couple of horny teenagers! He cringed when he thought of the way they'd been behaving. He sighed and looked directly at his two best friends in the whole world.
"I'm sorry guys, you're right and we owe you an apology. I think – it was just -"
"We know what it was Jack", Daniel said gently, "and we understand, really we do. It's just we don't want to be around it all the time."
"Yes, and he does mean all the time O'Neill", Teal'c interjected.
"I really am sorry! Look, come to Minnesota for thanksgiving and I promise we'll behave. I'll speak to Sam and we'll – we'll -"
"Be celibate?" Daniel suggested with a smirk.
"Hell no! I'm not a saint Daniel! But we will keep it in our room and we will promise to spend time with you guys. Come on – please?"
After continuing to beg, and promise, for a while longer he got both of his friends to agree. Jack hoped that Sam had had as much luck with Janet and Cassie. The next person he had to speak with was George.
His only regret was that they hadn't heard from Jacob at all. Sam was almost seven months along and she was beginning to worry that her father wouldn't make it back before the baby came. He shrugged – he felt bad for her – for himself he felt greatly relieved. He was a little nervous about Jacob.
Daniel and Teal'c and General Hammond had all filled him in on Jacob Carter and Sel'mac. He had remembered about the Tok'ra but for some reason he still couldn't remember Jacob. Daniel was convinced that his mind was intentionally blocking the memory out of pure terror. Although he would never admit it, he kind of figured it was true.
Oh well – he wasn't going to worry too much about the man/Tok'ra. It was his own fault that he wasn't here. His daughter had been missing for almost a year and now it was four months later and still no sign of him. George figured Jacob had volunteered for some long, deep undercover mission out of reaction to losing his daughter.
Jack still hadn't started back full time at the SGC although he was coming for a few hours every week to help out the General. He'd improved enough – and had read enough – to be able to contribute. He wasn't well enough to go off world yet, and frankly, he had no interest in it – for now anyway. Sam was effectively grounded because of her pregnancy, although she was also rethinking gate travel. Daniel and Teal'c worked as 'fill-in's for other teams that needed extra help or on missions where their specialties came in handy. SG1 had not been officially disbanded, but for now it was inactive.
Jack sat in his office, thinking over the last year or so and shook his head. Who would have thought everything would have changed like it had. He wouldn't ever wish to go through the brain-zapper again, but truthfully he couldn't regret where it had got him. He was happy – completely and absolutely content, and he was pretty sure that was not something he would have been able to say before Mariscola.
His friends told him he was still the 'same old Jack' but he knew that wasn't quite true. In serious moments Sam had told him that in most ways he was the same, but also that he seemed more at ease now, more at peace – and he believed her. It could have been because of what had been done to his mind, but secretly, he believed it was Sam who had changed him. He smiled thinking about her. She was his joy.
"Jack?"
He looked up to see a stranger staring at him. The man was older – bald – and was wearing unusual clothes. He dropped his chair down suddenly and sat up. Oh crap – he recognized him now – not from memory, but from Sam's photos. "Jacob!"
"Hi Jack", the other man grinned and walked forward, his hand held out. "It's great to see you. We all thought you were dead!"
He shook the older man's hand, his mind completely blank. What was he supposed to say to the former General? Hi Sir! Nice to see you and oh, by the way, I screwed your daughter and she's seven months pregnant. Hell! "Uh – hi." There – that was profound and shouldn't get him in any trouble.
Jacob – or maybe it was Sel'mac – tilted his head. "Are you okay Jack?" he asked. He'd heard from the Tok'ra that his daughter and O'Neill had been found but that Jack had been hurt. When he'd arrived the only one around was Walter – who had directed him to Jack's office. The rest of SG1 was off-world. He assumed his daughter was with them so hadn't bothered to go to her office. He felt badly if Jack's injuries were still keeping him 'Earth-side'.
"Yeah – yeah, I'm fine Jacob. Uh – what are you doing here?" He closed his eyes – stupid, stupid Jack!
"What – Jack? What do you think I'm doing here? I came to see Teal'c of course."
"Teal'c?" Why would the man want to see – "oh – that's a joke. I'm sorry Sir – I – have you been to see Sam yet?" he asked finally. Surely he wouldn't be looking at him like that if he knew.
"No. Walter said SG1 was off world right now but he also said you were here. I guess George is also off base right now."
"What? Oh yeah – he's – uh – Sam's here", he blurted.
"What?" Jacob frowned. "Why isn't she with SG1?"
"Well, technically there isn't an SG1 right now. Daniel and Teal'c are actually off with SG5, helping out."
"And Sam?" Jacob was starting to look worried.
"She's okay", he assured her father quickly. "She's just – she's not – going through the gate right now."
"Why not? Jack, what aren't you telling me? Did she get hurt as well on that damned planet?"
"Hurt? Oh – no, no, she's fine. She's not hurt Jacob."
"Then why the hell isn't she going off world? Jack – what is going on?"
Jack felt like he was drowning. He wondered if Jacob and Sel'mac would refrain from killing him if he pretended total amnesia – or if he dropped over and went into a coma? Yeah, that was a good idea. Jacob surely wouldn't hurt him when he was in a coma –
"JACK! What the hell is going on?"
Okay – so Jacob wasn't a patient man. He was pretty sure that either Daniel or Teal'c had warned him of that. "Uh – look Jacob, why don't we go for a walk. We could go see – uh Walter and you could wait for Geo – ur General Hammond to get back. I think he's back tomorrow. He can probably explain things better." Yeah, and Jacob won't kill the General!
"Jack – what – is – going – on?"
"She's pregnant Jacob." There – that was good O'Neill. Just get to the point. Spit it out. Don't dissemble – just be open and honest. Jacob will appreciate that.
"What did you say Colonel O'Neill?" The voice belonged to Sel'mac
Shit! Jacob was obviously having an internal conniption fit. Jack eyed the door and wondered if he could make it before the older man recovered?
"WHAT" Jacob had returned. "What the hell are you talking about? Who's pregnant?"
"Sam", he answered. When talking to the enemy keep your answers short and direct and don't offer any more than they ask. The voice of his drill sergeant was loud and clear in his mind. Actually, come to think of it he should have simply told Jacob his name, rank and serial number – although he was pretty sure the General wouldn't accept just that. No – he'd probably start the torture at any moment.
"Jack did you want to go for – Dad!" Sam screeched and threw herself at her father, who looked relieved and enveloped her in a huge hug.
Jack cringed, knowing that at any second – there! Jacob had felt 'the bump' – as he and Sam affectionately referred to their as yet unborn offspring – and he'd realized that Jack was telling the truth. Jack could also see the moment he realized –
"JACK O'NEILL. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO TO MY DAUGHTER?"
Coma, coma, coma – come on! Where's one when you need one? "Uh –"
"Daddy, calm down. Jack didn't do anything to me."
Jacob looked slightly relieved although his expression soon turned to confusion. "Well then – who's the father and what the hell happened?"
Jack slowly inched his way back. He couldn't make it through the doorway with both Sam and her father there. He did have an emergency button on the wall however. He also glanced up at the sprinkler. Jacob could erupt at anytime and it might be needed.
"Stop it dad", Sam suddenly became 'the Major' before Jack's eyes. He couldn't help the grin – he was just so damned proud of her. "Jack is the father. We were stuck on that planet for almost a year and didn't think we were ever going to make it home so we decided to start a life together."
Okay – if she wanted to play with the facts a bit, it was okay by him. He wasn't going to disagree.
Hell – Jacob's eyes flashed, never a good sign.
"Jacob, I'm sorry. What Sam said is the truth. We never would have – you know – except we thought we were stranded." Okay, if she could lie, so could he.
"And that's it?" the older man asked. "You didn't think you were coming home so you jumped into bed together and now you're having a family?"
"Yeah – that's about right", Jack replied, starting to get angry.
"Jack!" Sam laughed uncomfortably. "Dad, Jack and I love each other and we're happy about the baby. I want you to be happy too and not to kill Jack. It was my fault anyway." She reached out and gave Jack's hand a fierce squeeze, warning him to be quiet and let her handle this. "He never would have – 'jumped into bed with me' – except I – pushed him. I wanted it – him – and I couldn't be happier."
"But your career Sam", he wailed. "This has to be bad for it."
"The General assured me it wouldn't matter, although frankly, I don't care if it does. I'm happy with my life, and with Jack, so suck it up Sir and tell Jack how happy you are to welcome him to the family."
Jack looked at his love with awe written all over his face. Damn, this whole thing had been worth it just to hear Sam give her dad hell. He bit his lip, knowing it was probably more than his life was worth to let on. However, when Jacob stuck his hand out this time, the Colonel was sure he saw a gleam of – something – in the General's eye. Damn – he was pretty sure that whatever that something was, it wasn't anything he was going to like.
"Welcome to the family", Jacob said softly, "son."
Crap!