His mind was fuzzy as it fought to stay in the recess of sleep, and it took all the cognitive ability he could muster in his mostly unconscious state for Derek to wonder why he was waking. Eyes still shut tightly, he tried to close off his mind, struggled to return to the unthinking recess of sleep. He was just about to drift back off into blissful oblivion when the answer came to him. At first he was confused by the dull static noise coming from an indiscernible direction, but he soon came to the realization that the noise was coming from the alarm clock. It must have been bumped off its set radio station and was caught trying to produce signal from a point between two radio waves.

He groaned and pulled closer to Meredith, burying his face in the back of her hair, hoping the noise, and attached connotation, would just go away. He tightened his already shut eyes, as if pretending he didn't need to get up made it true. The annoyance continued. Derek sighed. He was so tired. He just wasn't sleeping well these days. The noise was still there, and he knew he had to bite the bullet and get up.

It was then that he realized Meredith was wrapped tightly in his arms, the warmth from her body heating his. He frowned, trying to remember her coming home the night before. He couldn't. He took a deep breath and pulled away from her, lifting himself up on an arm and reaching across his still slumbering girlfriend to turn off the alarm. She didn't stir. He smiled.

Settling back down, he re-wrapped his arms around her waist, and pulling her closer, manoeuvring her so she was more on her back. He wiggled as close as he could possibly get, resting his head up, above her shoulder, his face nestled in against her cheek. His arms were still wrapped possessively around her small frame, and his legs were now threaded through hers.

"Mer," he whispered to no response. "Meredith." A little louder. "Time to get up." Even louder. She groaned and shook her head. He smiled and placed a kiss on her cheek. "Morning."

"Whhhatimeissssit?" She mumbled.

"Almost seven," he told her, knowing she had a shift at eight. The successful interns were being given two weeks off to recover from their year before they would be expected to take on their own batch of interns. And Meredith had just one shift left before her time off.

"I d'wanna go t'work," she muttered, turning her head into his, and pulling closer, her right hand finding one of his. "Stay here. Sleep."

He smiled. She could be so cute in the morning. "You have to go to work, Mer."

"Why?" Her eyes were still closed.

He smirked. "You can't miss your first day as a full-fledged resident, can you?"

This brought a smile to her face, and when she opened her eyes they were sparkling.

"There you go," Derek said.

She turned in his arms, her smile now directed at him. "Morning," she told him, finally returning the greeting. She leaned in, and their lips met for several seconds. When they pulled back, she sighed and let her head rest on the pillow, just inches from his. His slipped his fingers through hers.

"Yes, and speaking of mornings, when did you get home?"

"Late," was her answer. "You were out for the count. Didn't even flinch the whole time I got ready for bed."

He shrugged as best her could in the position. "I guess I was tired. I haven't been sleeping great."

"Everything okay?" She was concerned.

He nodded. "Fine, just a stressful week. Haven't gotten much sleep."

Her look darkened slightly. "Are you sure that's it?"

Derek hesitated before nodding. "Yeah, why?"

Now it was her turn to attempt the awkward shrug. "I don't know, Derek. You just seem off. Something more then stress. You didn't even move last night," she repeated. "And ever since my exam, you've been..." she trailed off, trying to come up with the right word.

"Meredith, I'm fine," he repeated.

She rolled her eyes. "You sound like me," she muttered. And she sat up, prompting him to do the same. She turned and sat cross-legged facing him, while he sat leaning against the headboard, legs stretched out in front of him.

Meredith sat as close as she could, and reached out to take his hands in hers, squeezing them tight. "I know something is going on, Derek. I can feel it." She paused, allowing her words to take effect. "And I know that historically, you and me, we're not so good at the talking thing. But I thought we were changing that."

He leaned forward, closing his grip on her smaller hands. "Meredith, it's nothing, really. Just stress. Don't worry."

But she was glaring at him. "Derek," she warned. "This week sucked, in a lot of ways. And you were amazing. You are the only reason I made it through this week. You were completely there for me. Now it's my turn. Tell me what's wrong." She demanded.

He swallowed, knowing he was caught, but not wanting to discuss the matter. Not now. Not like this. "I'm just so relieved the week is over," he said. "I'm so glad you passed your test." It wasn't a lie. It was definitely what he was feeling.

She shook her head. "No, it's something more than that. You were amazing before the test. You calmed me down, got me ready, then after you were... off. I've never seen you look so uncomfortable in surgery. Then you wouldn't let me thank you, in fact you actually denied having helped me. And you've been tired, and... weird, for two days now. And every time you don't think I'm looking, you've got this depressing look on your face. Something is wrong."

Derek opened his mouth to respond, but no words came to mind. He hadn't realized his behaviour had been so obvious. Either that, or he hadn't realized how well she could read him...and by the expression on her face, he was leaning towards the latter.

She was continuing. "And you got drunk!" She exclaimed. "With Mark, of all people. Derek, the last time I saw you drunk was..." she trailed off for a moment, thinking. "Well, it was almost a year ago. And the last time I saw you do anything voluntary with Mark, was never!"

"Mer, you're ranting," he said lightly, trying The Smile.

"Oh, don't try the McDreamy look, Derek. It's not getting you off the hook this time. Why won't you tell me what's wrong?" Her voice cracked, just a bit, unmasking her sudden vulnerability. She was worried something serious was wrong, and she didn't need that.

A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed, hard. He broke eye contact for a few seconds, and when he met hers eyes again, there were tears in his.

Meredith felt her eyes well in response to seeing him in such pain. "Tell me," she gently prompted.

He took a breath. "I'm so glad you passed," he whispered, repeating his earlier words. When she looked like she was going to interrupt, he shook his head, effectively silencing her. "I'm so glad you passed, because if you hadn't, it would have been my fault." He managed to utter the horrible thought, but looked away, not able to look into her sympathetic eyes as he said it.

She gasped. "What? Derek, no. You're the only reason I got though the exam. Life has pretty much sucked lately. But you were there. Everything's fine. How could you think any of this is your fault?"

He seemed to come to a decision and looked her square in the eye. "How could you not?" He asked. "I've made this year a living hell for you. One week shouldn't count for anything. If you had failed, it would have been my fault. You're talented, and you're amazing, and I almost destroyed that."

Tears had yet to escape the deep recess of his eyes, but they were streaming steadily down her cheeks. "Derek," she whispered. "This year has been a living hell," she agreed. "But it hasn't all been bad." She squeezed his hand and offered him a small smile. "You were responsible for a very small amount of the bad stuff, in comparison. And you were responsible for a big chunk of the good stuff."

But Derek was shaking his head. "I chased you, even when you told me not to. Then I lied to you. Then I didn't pick you. I left you for months, but wouldn't let you move on. Then I asked you to pick me, and when you did, I needed space..."

She cut in. "That was months ago. I don't care what lead us to here, Derek. I only care that we're here now. You're here. And I love you. And that's all that matters. You had nothing to do with any of the recent crappy stuff."

"I pushed you," he stated.

"What?"

"I pushed you to get closer to them. To Thatcher and Susan."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You didn't push me. You weren't even there. You supported me. You came to dinner. You moderated when Susan brought groceries. You supported me." She repeated. Her tone softened. "And not knowing them wouldn't have stopped Susan from dying."

"No," he agreed. "But, maybe, you're father wouldn't have..." It had been a week, and he still couldn't say it.

Meredith shook her head. "I don't have any less of a relationship with my father than I did a year ago. And still, none of the recent stuff has anything to do with you. Why would you think that?"

He hesitated, still meeting her eyes, but not portraying anything useful. He looked full of pain and uncertainty. He sighed. "I love you so much, Meredith. And I just..." He trailed off.

"I love you too," she prompted, "so much."

He closed his eyes for several seconds, still holding tightly to her hands. She squeezed his fingers, reminding him of the lifeline she represented. When he re-opened his eyes, they were filled with more doubt and pain than she had even seen. She had never seen him so vulnerable before. "I hurt you," he whispered, as if saying it louder made it more real. "I never realized how much until recently. I was in so much pain, that I didn't realize how much you were suffering, or for how long. I'm so sorry."

"I know you're sorry, Derek, but stop stressing about it. It's water under the thing, or whatever..."

"It's not to me." He told her. "Looking back, I can't believe how stupid I was, or how blind I was. I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you. If you had failed that test, I don't know what I would have done. I wouldn't have been able to look you in the eye. You deserve so much better than me."

Meredith chortled before she could stop herself, and at his confused expression she said, "sorry, Derek. I'm sorry." She swallowed, preventing any more laughter. "It's just, I'm usually the one who thinks I don't deserve you." She smiled, just slightly, and moved her hands, so that their combined four sets of digits were mixed together between them, creating one heap of indiscernible fingers. "Look, I haven't lived the best life. A lot of crappy things have happened to me. I haven't always been the best person. And I've been pretty much alone for my whole life. But the past year... even with all the crappy, not so bright and shinny stuff, I wouldn't take any of it back. For the first time in my life, I have people who care about me. I have a family to go to, that doesn't have anything to do with blood. I have a job that I feel confident in. And I fell in love with an amazing man." She smiled fully now. "And you have played a huge part in most of that, especially the last part."

"I still hurt you so much."

She shook her head. "It doesn't matter anymore. You've more than made up for it. I'm happy, Derek."

He opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a shrill beeping cutting through the aura of the room.

"Damnit!" Meredith exclaimed, dropping his hand and reaching for the beepers sitting on the table beside the bed. "It's yours," she passed him the now-silent beeper.

He took it and held it up, squinting to read the writing travelling across the small window. He sighed. "I have to go in."

"Nine-one-one?"

He shook his head. "No, not yet anyway. Big accident of some sort. They'll need me soon." He swung his legs over the side of the bed and got up, still staring at her.

She smiled at him.

"I'm glad you're happy, Meredith."

She nodded. "Me too."

He turned to head into the bathroom, but she called his name and he turned to face her, standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"Derek, you may have been saved by the beep, but I do plan on finishing this conversation tonight." She knew they had more to discuss. There were still things he wasn't forthcoming about.

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," she echoed, nodding as he disappeared into the bathroom.

AN: Okay, so I believe that the new season begins this week... maybe even today... But I'm not sure, cause I'm out of the country for school and Grey's is not playing here that I've been able to find, which sucks. I know that by using this site I will probably find out what happens, but I am going to try not to. So, please refrain from telling me stuff, or correcting stuff I might write. With that said, however, I would like to ask you guys to tell me a few things from the new season, namely: where do Cristina and Meredith go on vacation and for how long, what happens with the chief thing, who does lexie get as a resident, and what's her reaction to Derek. Does Bailey get more interns, and does Callie. What happens with George/Callie/Izzy, and Alex/Ava Okay, I think that's it, and more than I thought. Lol Oh, and the test results... if they get more results, like a score or placement? And what happens to George and the whole failing thing... Thanks!