For the second time in just a few days, Meredith found herself seated in an airport waiting room, with only Mark for company. Derek had disappeared in search of something to read on the plane, and being the Sunday after Thanksgiving, it was very busy. Though, the check-in had been much smoother for Meredith this time. She had trudged along with Derek and Mark to the front desk after they had returned the rental car, and hadn't felt like her heart was going to give out when her suitcase disappeared down the conveyor belt. And there had been no breakdown outside of security. Surprisingly, she actually found herself somewhat sad to be leaving. For the first time in her life she felt like she had a family; and she was hesitant to give that up.
The Shepherd's had spent the previous day sleeping in and relaxing around the house to recover from their holiday. And that morning, when she, Derek, and Mark had said goodbye, everyone had hugged her, including the children. And she had been startled to feel the beginnings of a familiar stinging behind her eyes. But they would be back in the spring, hopefully for at least a week. And she was already looking forward to it.
"The weekend went well," Mark commented with a wry smile.
Meredith nodded, unable to control the smile that came to her lips. "Really well."
"You were right," he said quietly. "I guess they really are my family. I thought that I would be..." he sighed. "I thought it would be awkward, but it was okay."
"They really do love you, Mark. Especially the kids. They definitely missed their Uncle Mark."
He smiled. "I got my family back."
She nodded her agreement.
"And you got a family."
She breathed. "I think so."
"I know so. They really like you, and Carol's particularly taken with you. You're definitely on the inside now."
Meredith smiled. "Thanks. I guess neither of us had anything to worry about."
Mark nodded his agreement. "No. We should have just listened to each other. It would have saved some anxiety."
"Like you practically shoving me off my feet because of a misunderstanding?"
He glared at her. "I just wanted to make everything clear."
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Well, I think you went a little overboard, but whatever."
"Hey, I was just making sure they knew I'd never cross that line again," he smirked at her. "No matter how much you beg me."
Meredith scoffed. "No matter how much I beg you? When have I ever begged? Wait, when have I ever shown any interest at all?"
"I know the signs; it's all about the unsaid things. Very discreet. I know you've wanted me."
She snorted. "Yeah, you just keep thinking whatever you want..."
He smirked. "Oh, I will."
"You're an ass."
"And I have a nice ass."
Meredith laughed. "So, apparently nice, easy to talk to, human Mark only lasts for a few days?"
He shrugged. "He comes and goes."
"Whatever. You're still an ass."
"What's he doing now?" Derek asked as he appeared beside her, collapsing into the chair with a new magazine in hand.
Meredith smiled as his arm immediately found her waist. "He's just being an ass."
"Ah, so nothing new, then?"
Meredith laughed as Derek smirked, causing Mark to glare and go back to typing into his laptop.
"So, you get your reading material?"
Derek nodded and lifted his copy of Discover. "Last copy. And I stood in line forever. It's far too busy."
"I guess it's always like this, although I've never traveled Thanksgiving weekend before, but I hear it's always busy."
"Mmm-hmm," he agreed absently, leaning into her and sighing. "I'm tired."
"And whose fault is that?"
"Yours."
She scoffed. "Seriously? You're seriously blaming last night on me? You're the one who can't go four days without having sex."
He laughed. "It's not my fault I can't resist you. So, I blame you, for being irresistible."
She rolled her eyes as her mind wandered back to the previous night.
Meredith ducked her head under the stream of water flowing from the shower head above her, rinsing the suds out of her hair. It had been a long, pleasant day filled with doing very little. She and Derek had slept late together, forgoing a shower in the morning. And as the day had worn on into the evening the kids and their parents began to disappear. Everyone was tired and craving sleep. Meredith had eventually excused herself to have a shower so that her hair could dry before bed.
She ran her fingers though her hair before ducking her head under the stream once more, and jumped when cold fingers found purchase on her hips.
"Derek!" She exclaimed in surprise, sputtering as she tried to turn in his grip. But he held her tightly, his lips landing on the sensitive area where her neck met her shoulder. She moaned. "I didn't hear you come in."
"Mmm, I was hoping to surprise you." One hand wrapped firmly around her lower torso, holding her firmly against him, and the other roamed upwards towards her breasts.
"Derek... Rules..." She said weakly.
"I thought rules were meant to be broken?" His lips ceased their attack on her neck and his chin came to rest on her shoulder, his cheek pushed up against her neck
"Not all the time."
He shifted, and she could tell he was smirking. "Oh, don't worry; they are...all the time, actually. We've already broken them once, well actually twice, what's a third, and forth?"
"But..." She trailed off when she realized she didn't have an argument. The hand holding her to him drifted lower and she gasped as he made contact. "Derek..."
"Tell me to stop," he challenged.
She moaned again. "I can't."
His lips continued their assault. And both of his hands were doing wonders to her body. He really was very talented with his hands; professionally and non-professionally speaking. Her hands reached behind her, one running along his side and the other finding his hair and gently directing the movement of his lips. There wasn't much else she could do if he wouldn't let her move.
"You know what?" She asked after several minutes.
"What?" He mumbled against her skin.
"Rules are stupid."
He laughed against her. "I'm glad you're finally coming over to my way of thinking."
She sighed, wishing she could disagree, but he was absolutely right. "I guess you are right sometimes, albeit very rarely."
Derek smirked. "That's allowed some times. You're going to have to let me be right every once in a while."
"How about once a year?"
He scoffed. "I'm right more than that." His grip loosened and she took the opportunity to face him, her arms hooking securely around his neck.
"Whatever," she mumbled as she pulled his face to hers and kissed him. Her hands buried in his hair, and his roamed her body. "Derek," she murmured as he left her lips to trail down her chin, grazing his teeth gently over the front of her neck. "That feels..." She trailed off with a groan.
Derek guided her backwards, until she was pressed up against the wall of the shower, the stream still flowing down on them. The feeling of being caught between the hard wall behind her and the solid feel of Derek's body against hers did wonders for her already heightened senses.
"Mer..." He moaned her name as he pressed into her. His lips broke contact and he stared into her eyes, his dilated pupils matching hers. "You're so beautiful." His palm ran along her cheek and he leaned in to kiss her for several moments. "I love you so much."
"I love you, too," she mumbled as she kissed along his jaw line. She pulled away and smiled. "Let's see how many times we can break the rules."
Derek hadn't resisted when she pulled his lips back to hers and deepened the kiss. And they had proceeded to break the rules for a third time. And a fourth. And even a fifth, before falling asleep in each other's arm. Needless the say, Meredith was grateful they hadn't been woken up in the morning by his family again as she hadn't had the energy to crawl out of bed to get dressed this time.
000
Meredith sighed as she pulled her headset off. The in-flight movie she had been watching on the personal television in front of her had ended and she had no desire to watch the next one. They were about half way home, on the five and a half hour flight. Derek was beside her, his eyes skimming the text along the last few pages of his magazine. She stuffed her headphones into the seat pocket in front of her and leaned her head up against Derek's shoulder. He wrapped an arm around her waist and she closed her eyes.
She lost track of the time she spent in the drifting state, Derek absently kissing the top of her head or running his hand along her side every few minutes. Eventually there was a shuffling sound as he put his magazine down and sighed, his head coming to rest against hers. "Another two hours to go," he commented.
Meredith groaned. "I wish we were already home."
He smirked. "Me too. I already have an idea of what we should do when we get there..."
She laughed at his suggestive tone. "Last night wasn't enough for you?"
"I still have Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday to make up for."
She raised her head off his shoulder to shake it. He met her gaze evenly, his eyes sparkling and an eyebrow raised, and as much as she tried, she couldn't help but smile. "Seriously, Derek, do you ever think about anything else?"
He smirked. "Very rarely."
"Seriously," she muttered as she shook her head.
"Hey, like I said last night. It's not my fault you're irresistible."
"Then whose fault it is that you can't control yourself?"
"I can control myself just fine. I don't seem to remember you being able to ask me to stop..."
Meredith set her jaw, knowing she couldn't talk herself out of this one. He was smirking at her, his dimples evident and his eyes sparkling with that cocky, loving, scorching expression he had long since perfected. She sighed inwardly, as the familiar chills ran through her body and she reached out for his shirt collar and pulled his lips to hers.
Derek was obviously surprised by her sudden onslaught, and it took him a second or two to respond, but once he did, he deepened the kiss. Meredith's fingers remained tightly wrapped around his collar and her other hand came to rest on his thigh, while his hands found her sides.
An announcement by the pilot, informing the passengers of their estimated arrival time and the weather in Seattle, broke Meredith out of her trance. She pulled away, breathless, as she remembered they were on a plane. Derek was panting as well, and his bright blue eyes met hers with a look of understanding.
"I love you," he said gently, leaning in to peck her lips.
"I love you, too." Meredith copied his moves by kissing him quickly.
Derek smiled and instead of releasing her, his arm wrapped securely around her waist and pulled her snugly into his side. She sighed contentedly at the warmth of his body and rested her head on his shoulder. "Derek," she began quietly.
"Hmm?"
"I was thinking..." She trailed off, unsure of how to continue.
"About what?"
"Well... I love our apartment, but I was wondering how long it takes to build a house?"
Derek kept his arm around her side, but released her enough to meet her eyes. "What?" He asked with a smile.
Meredith bit her lower lip, wondering why she had butterflies in her stomach when it wasn't a secret they were going to build a house one day. "It's just, your mother's house is so beautiful, and I know she and your dad designed it, and I know how much you want to build a house with me. And I want it, too. And our lease on our apartment will be up in mid summer, so we'll either have to have somewhere to move then, or wait another year. So... I was wondering how long you think it would take, seeing as we'd have to have plans made and then actually build it and everything..." She trailed off, her upper incisors recapturing her bottom lip.
"You're ready to build a house?" He asked softly, his eyes no longer simply sparkling, but misted and took on a softer quality.
Meredith nodded gently. "I think I am. I know we were going to wait to move out there until I stopped having interns, but I assume at the earliest it'll be ready by the end of next summer, and by then I'll be a third year resident, which means, hopefully, I'll be doing more teaching than trying to teach and learn... And I guess I didn't get it before. I didn't get what made it so special, the idea of building a house together. Just decorating and buying furniture and stuff was awesome, and I really do love our apartment, but actually building a home with you, Derek, would be..." She trailed off and inhaled a shuddery breath. "It's something I really want to do, and sooner rather than later."
"You're ready to build a house?" He repeated, his eyes and tone still taking on that same soft quality.
"Yeah, Derek. I am. I really am."
"Mer..." He trailed off and pulled her in for a deep, emotion filled kiss. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers and breathed. "Just when I didn't think this weekend could have gone any better, you go and say something like that."
Meredith giggled. "I assume that means you're ready too?"
"I think I've been ready for...ever."
She smiled and closed her eyes, her forehead still pressed against his. "So, how long do you think it would take?"
"I'm not sure." He sighed and pulled away. "We'd probable have to wait until spring to put a basement in, so that would give us four or five months to have the plans drawn and everything. But the actual building... I have no idea. It would probably depend on how big the house will be, and whether or not we can get a construction team to start right away."
"How big a house do you want?"
He breathed. "Not huge, but definitely not small."
Meredith snorted. "How very decisive of you."
He laughed. "I mean I want a big house, but not a mansion."
"Okay. That sounds good."
"How about you? What do you want?"
She smirked. "Are we taking turns again? Regressing to preschool?"
Derek laughed and kissed her cheek. "It worked last time."
Meredith rolled her eyes. "Fine. I want a big living room, like at you mom's. Big and open, with enough room for more than one seating area if we want."
He nodded his agreement. "And lots of windows."
"Mmm-Hmm," she nodded. "And, of course, a Jacuzzi tub."
"In a big, fancy, on-suite bathroom?"
"Attached to our big, fancy master bedroom."
"With a view," he finished.
She laughed and nodded her agreement. "And a king size bed."
"Of course." And they were both silent for a few moments, simultaneously lost in thought. "It's your turn," he finally stated.
"No, it's your turn. I said king size bed."
He nodded. "Which is not part of the building process, so it doesn't count."
She laughed. "You really are annoying sometimes, do you know that?"
"But you love me for it." He kissed her.
Meredith rolled her eyes when he pulled away. "Whatever."
"It's still your turn."
She huffed. "Fine," she paused as she thought for a moment. "A big porch, maybe to wrap around part of the house, so we can sit outside and admire the view."
"With a hammock I can sleep on when the snoring gets too loud."
"Derek!" She hissed as she swiped a hand across his chest. "More like a hammock you can sleep on when you're an ass and get kicked out of the house."
He laughed and managed to grab a hold of her hand and squeeze tightly. "For both, then."
She huffed, but let him keep a hold of her hand, unable to prevent the small smile from flittering to her lips. This happy-go-lucky, free, joking Derek was relatively new. She had seen hints of him when they had first been together, but she hadn't been exposed to the full blown version until the past few months, and he was showing himself more and more. And she loved it. It made her feel like he was comfortable enough around her to just be him. There was no weight on his shoulders, no hesitancy about what he was saying to her and no uncertainty about their future. It was a version she was looking forward to seeing more and more as their time together progressed.
"It's your turn," she told him. "The hammock doesn't count, because it's not part of the 'building process.'" She made quotations with her free hand.
"Are you mocking me?"
"Absolutely."
He laughed. "Fine. We'll need lots of bedrooms, so my family can come and visit." He smirked. "Or we could build a guesthouse, so that when they do come, we don't have to deal with them all the time..."
"Derek, that's mean."
He shrugged. "Just putting it out there."
She laughed. "So, tons of bedrooms..."
He nodded, suddenly showing a flash of uncertainty. "For when my family comes to visit."
Meredith hesitated, her eyes locked on his, knowing they were both thinking the same thing. "And maybe for more then just when they visit?"
He breathed. "That's... I..." He trailed off and sighed. "Look, Mer, you know where I stand on the kids issue."
"You want them." It wasn't a question.
He nodded. "I do. But I want you more. I'm trying not to pressure you. And I won't resent you if the answer is no."
Meredith nodded. She believed him. But after the family weekend she had just experienced, her opinion had shifted, and she still wasn't sure where she stood. And discussing it; her thoughts, her fears, her uncertainty... It wasn't something she was sure she could do. She blinked several times before she closed her eyes and breathed. And when she re-opened her eyes, he was still there, still gazing at her with that same, loving, expression. And his hand was still wrapped tightly around hers. The intensity was almost too much for her. She took a shuddery breath and met the eyes of the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with. And suddenly it wasn't as scary as before. She could say anything to him. She squeezed his hand, and he squeezed back.
"I'm not against the kid thing," she admitted quietly. "I mean it's kind of terrifying, but I'm not set against it."
"Okay."
"And after this weekend..." She smiled. "Derek, you're wonderful with kids. They all love you. And if we have kids, you could teach me."
"Oh, Mer, it would come naturally to you. You wouldn't need me to teach you. You did great with them all this weekend."
She nodded, grateful for his ever-present faith in her abilities. It gave her more faith in herself, now that she had learned to trust it, that is. "Maybe," she consented. "But it's still terrifying. But...after this weekend, I think it's less terrifying. I'm still not sure..."
He smiled dreamily at her and squeezed her hand. "That's okay. We don't need to decide on anything right now."
"Thank-you, Derek, for being so understanding."
He smirked. "That's what I'm here for."
She laughed and kissed him. "Anyway, I just want you to know that I'm thinking about it. It was terrifying, and now seems a little less terrifying, and after this weekend, I..." She trailed off, trying to gather her thoughts into something sensible. This was one of those times she needed to be able to express herself properly. "I'm suddenly less sure of where I stand on the issue. I'm dealing with a lot of new, and conflicting thoughts suddenly, and I don't know how long it will take me to figure it out."
"Take all the time you need."
She smiled at him. "Okay, but I want you to know that I think my opinion has shifted. Instead of being terrified and trying to convince myself it would be okay, I think I..." She swallowed. "I think I'm leaning towards wanting it, and trying to convince myself it won't be the disaster that annoying voice in my head is convinced it will be."
Derek considered her words. "So, what you're trying to say is..."
She inhaled a shuddery breath and met his eyes. "What I'm trying to say is I think I'm leaning towards yes."
Nothing could have prepared her for the brilliant smile that broke out on Derek's face at her words. "Really?"
Meredith nodded. "Really. And when I manage to organize and deal with my thoughts, I'll let you know."
"I love you so much," he whispered as he pulled her into a tight hug.
"I love you more." Her hand found its way over his shoulder to his hair, where she buried her digits and held on tight.
He laughed against her shoulder. "Not true."
"It is so true."
"Nope."
She nodded and pulled away to meet his shining eyes. "You're wrong. And I'm right, just like usual."
He grumbled. "You choose to believe whatever you want. I know the truth."
She shook her head at his antics and kissed him again. "Okay," she said as she pulled away. "I don't want to break the mood, but I was thinking about what we talked about on the way to New York, about feeling guilty..."
Derek nodded. "About the prom?"
"Yeah. I think I know what we need to do..."
000
Meredith sighed as she released her seatbelt, but made no move to exit her vehicle. The large, familiar building across the parking lot seemed unusually intimidating, making her want to simply restart her jeep and drive home. But she and Derek had made a deal, and they each had a very important conversation to have. So, she had to do this.
But the idea, which had seemed simple and innocent enough when she and Derek had discussed it on their plane ride home from New York the previous Sunday, suddenly seemed horribly awkward and complex and...not something she particularly wanted to do. But she needed to do it. She needed to be able to forgive herself. And this was the path to doing so. All she had to do was get out of her car.
It was already Friday, and she hadn't been off work during business hours all week, which had allowed the knowledge of what she had to do to fester and grow and become this huge, scary, intimidating thing. The only person other than Derek that she had told was Cristina, and her best friend definitely thought she was going insane. But Meredith was determined. She was growing and maturing and learning to do the relationship thing and the family thing. And she could do the apology thing.
With a heavy sigh, Meredith reached for the handle of the door and stepped out, walking swiftly towards the front door before she lost her resolve. As she pulled open the heavy wooden door, a spiffy Jack Russell bounced out, attached to a thin blue leash. The owner offered her a nod as they headed to their car. Meredith took a deep breath and stepped through the doorway.
It was nearing the end of the work day, and the waiting area was empty. The friendly receptionist looked up, her eyes narrowing in vague recognition. "Hi Lola," Meredith greeted. She had spoken with the woman many times when she had come in to sit with Doc or meet Finn. "Is Dr. Dandridge in?"
"Meredith," Lola spoke in greeting. "He is, just finishing up with his last patient. Did he know you were coming?"
"Uh, no. I was just hoping I could speak with him."
"I'll let him know you're here as soon as he's done."
"Thank-you." Meredith sat on the couch along the wall, pulling a pet magazine into her lap to pass the time.
"Did the knitting ever get any easier?"
Meredith laughed in the memory of her first meeting with the receptionist. "No, not really. I kind of gave up on it. I was so bad my roommate was knitting herself and trading her pieces for mine, to make me think I could knit."
Lola laughed, but the door to the exam room opened before she could respond. A large Retriever cross ambled out, his tail wagging slowly back and forth. An elderly woman followed behind, leash in hand and made her way to the desk, handing her credit card to Lola, who eventually passed her a receipt to sign. The dog stood up, his large, furry front paws finding the counter ledge as he stretched his head and nose across the counter. Lola smiled and passed him a cookie. "Goodbye Rex," she said happily, patting the dog affectionately on the head. She turned her attention back to the owner. "Bye Mrs. Anderson. We'll give you a call when he's due for his next check."
"Thanks, Lola. Come on Rex," the owner said as she headed for the door.
"I'll go talk to Dr. Dandridge now," Lola said, turning her attention back to Meredith. She disappeared through the door for several moments before coming back out with a gentle smile. "He'll be out soon."
"Thanks."
Lola proceeded to shut down the computer and gather her things. "I'm off for the day," she announced. "It was nice to see you again."
"You too."
Lola stepped out the front door and the waiting area fell silent. Meredith stared unseeingly down at her magazine, her earlier nervousness returning in full at the anticipation of what was to come and the complete lack of control at the realization that Finn held all the power in when their conversation would take place. There was no getting out of this now. She took a deep breath as footsteps approached the door across the room.
"Meredith," Finn greeted warmly as he walked through the lobby towards her.
"Finn. Hi," she stuttered, feeling stupid for not having something better to say when it was her that had come to see him. She stood and they exchanged an awkward, half hug.
"So," he said with a gentle smile. "What do I owe this pleasure?"
Meredith breathed. "I, uh, I came because I owe you an apology."
"No, there's nothing you need to apologize for..."
"Yes. Yes, there is, because I hurt you. I led you on. And I danced with and listened as you told me you had plans, and then I..." she sighed. "You said you didn't want to know what happened that night at the prom. But I think it was pretty obvious."
"Meredith-"
"No, Finn, I need to do this. You deserved better. I was trying to move on, and you really are a great guy. And a ton of women would be lucky to have you. And you knew I was scary and damaged, but you didn't push me, and you didn't make me feel bad about myself. You were helpful and supportive and you... you told me you had plans. And I cheated on you. You didn't deserve that. You're a good guy, and you deserved so much better."
Finn sighed, and motioned for her to sit down, and he joined her, sitting kitty corner on the seat by the couch, leaning forward so his elbows rested on his knees. "It's okay, Meredith, like I said before. We never said we were exclusive."
Meredith shook her head. "No. That's no excuse for what I did. We never said it, but it was assumed."
"You're really intent on this, aren't you?" He asked with a wry smile.
Meredith nodded. "Yeah, I'm kind of working through a ton of issues and things that I need to get passed to move on with my life. And I'm not avoiding anymore. And I regret hurting you. I'm here to apologize. So, Finn, I am so sorry for what I did to you. I'm sorry for hurting you. You're a wonderful man, and you deserved better. I'm sorry."
He nodded. "Thank-you, Meredith. And your apology is accepted in full."
Meredith smiled. "Thanks."
He smiled. "You know, the week after we broke up, I met someone."
"Really?"
"Yeah. I got called out to see an injured horse, and she was a new boarder at the stable. The horse had a fractured proximal sesamoid, so I was out quite a few times that week, and she was there every time. And I finally got the courage to ask her out, and we've been together for almost eight months now."
"You're happy?"
He nodded. "Very happy. It's not always easy, but I'm happy."
"Do you have plans again?"
"I do."
"Good," she responded as a wave of relief washed over her. "I'm so glad, Finn. I'm glad you're happy. And I've come to realize that it's not supposed to be easy."
He nodded. "I think you're right. If it's easy, it's not worth fighting for."
"Yeah, and with you and me..."
"It was too easy." He said, completing her thought.
"Yeah."
"You're not a bad person, Meredith. I don't think badly of you. I understand why you chose him."
"Thank-you," she said with a slight nod. "That means a lot to me, especially coming from you. And I really am glad you're happy."
He smiled. "Her name's Ashley. And we're starting to talk about moving in together."
"And she likes horses." Meredith added with a smile.
He nodded. "She has a wonderful warmblood cross gelding, named Vince. They complete on the dressage circuit. I got to watch her compete a few times this summer. And she has two dogs. So, she's definitely an animal lover."
Meredith laughed. "That's important."
He smiled. "It is."
"And you're happy."
"I am." He nodded. "Are you?"
"I really am," she told him. "I'm finally finding myself able to be happy; to not be constantly afraid the other shoe is going to drop. It's a good feeling."
"And you're...with Derek?"
She nodded. "Yeah. We didn't get back together right away. It was a couple weeks after I got my appendix out. And it was...okay for a while, like we were happy on the surface. And life kept piling on the negative things, and suddenly we weren't so okay anymore. And it was time to make a decision, so we buckled down and learned how to talk, and how to communicate, and actually get through things." She smiled. "And it seemed to work, because we're pretty solid now. And we're happy. I can't imagine what life would be like right now if we had given up..."
"I'm glad you're happy too, Meredith."
"Thanks, Finn." She hesitated. "You were wrong about him, you know?"
"About what?"
"You told me he was going to hurt me again. And you were wrong. I mean, obviously there is always some hurt in a relationship. I think it's inevitable. But he'd never hurt me like that again. He really is a good guy. And he goes out of his way to make things better for me. And even though I was far from ready to make any real commitments when he was, he let everything go my speed, and he never pushed me too fast. He's a good man, too," she repeated.
Finn smiled warmly at her. "I'm glad I was wrong, Meredith."
"Me too."
000
The phone rang several times in Derek's ear before a receptionist finally picked up.
"Oceanside Wellness Group. How can I help you?" A young male voice greeted.
"Hi, I'm looking to speak to Addison Montgomery."
"Are you a patient?"
"No, I'm...a friend."
"Can I ask for your name?"
"Derek Shepherd."
"Please hold and I'll see if she's free." The receptionist clicked off and a stereotypical montage of quiet musical filled in the background.
Derek sighed and paced back and forth along the window line, staring out at the magnificent view from his and Meredith's living room. As much as he knew he had to do this, he wasn't looking forward to it. But he had made a deal with Meredith, and knew she was over at the vet's, carrying out her half of the agreement.
"Mr. Shepherd?" The voice came back on line. "Dr. Montgomery is free. I'll put you through to her office."
"Thank-you."
There was a click and a ring before his line was picked up again.
"Derek?" His ex-wife's voice filtered through the phone.
"Hey, Addy."
"It's nice to hear from you. I had a good conversation with your sister this week."
"Which one?"
"Nancy. And Derek, thank-you so much, for talking with her. I've really missed talking to her."
Derek paused. "I didn't realize you weren't talking to her."
"Oh," she said, and breathed before continuing. "She, uh, hasn't spoke to me since she visited Seattle...after you told her Mark and I had lived together before I followed you there. I got the impression you had talked to her. She said you were there for Thanksgiving and that she found out you had forgiven me, and that you thought it was okay for her to talk to me..."
"We didn't talk about you. I don't..." he trailed off with a laugh.
"What?"
"It must have been Meredith."
"She went with you?"
"Yeah, the three of us went."
"Three?"
"Mer, me and Mark."
There was silence. "You...you took Mark?"
"Yeah. We've come a long way with moving past everything. He and Mer are friends, so it was kind of hard to ignore him. We're not back to where we were, but we'll get there," he stated confidently.
"Derek, I'm so..." she trailed off and he heard her sniff. "That makes me feel so much better about everything that happened. I never wanted to ruin your friendship. That was always what I felt guilty about the most."
"You didn't," he reassured her.
"Good. Thank-you, Derek." She breathed. "So, what were you calling for?"
"Actually, I was calling to apologize..."
000
Meredith stepped in the front door and slid her shoes and coat off. She didn't spot Derek right away, but the television was on, so that gave her a clue. She padded across the living room, and spotted him sprawled across the couch, mostly on his back, but tilted just so towards the entertainment center, his arms resting on his chest.
"Hey," she greeted as she paused to observe the television, but a commercial was playing. "What are you watching?"
"Hey," he responded warmly. "Football."
"Oh, I can actually watch that now. I know the rules." Instead of taking any one of the empty spots on the couch or chairs in their living room, she lay herself down along Derek's body, coming to rest between him and the back of the couch, her head and upper torso lying across his chest.
He laughed. "I could have taught you the rules before." He closed his arm around her frame, holding her to him in a loose embrace.
She shrugged. "It's not the same. It would have been boring before, but now that I've beat you at it, it's more interesting."
He scoffed. "Why do I put up with you?"
"Because you love me," she responded without missing a beat.
"Oh, that's right. I knew it was something..."
She swiped her hand across his free shoulder lightly. "Don't be an ass."
Derek closed his arms around her and held her tightly, pressing his lips against her head. "How did it go?" He asked quietly.
"Good, I think. We talked for a while. He met someone else about a week after my surgery, and they've been together ever since. And he says he's happy, and that he has plans again." She shrugged. "All in all, I think it went well. And I definitely know I'm glad I did it."
"You feel better?" His grip loosened and one arm stayed wrapped securely around her torso, while the other captured her hand in his, and their joined digits rested together on his chest.
"Yeah, I feel a lot better. How about you?"
"Same. We talked for a while. She's doing well, glad she moved. And she said that Nancy called her this week; first time since she visited. Said that Nancy told her she had found out I had forgiven her. And Nancy and I definitely never talked about Addison last weekend..."
"Oh," Meredith said, unsure of what to say. "I, uh, yeah. We talked about her, Nancy and I. All I said was that you had forgiven Addison and Mark. I'm sorry if I overstepped, or whatever..."
Derek grumbled. "Mer, I'm not upset, at all. You can talk to my sisters about whatever you want. I was surprised, that's all."
"Okay."
His one-armed grip tightened. "Really. I'm glad. I never realized Nancy had cut ties. And I'm glad she's...uncutting those ties."
Meredith snorted. "Uncutting ties?"
He laughed, his chest reverberating through hers. "I didn't know how else to phrase that. But I really am glad for it. Addy doesn't deserve to lose everything."
"You're really not upset?"
"I'm really not upset. I promise."
She breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay. Good."
They lay in comfortable silence for several minutes. The football game returned to the television only feet away from them, but neither paid it any attention.
"Do you feel better?" Meredith finally murmured against his chest.
"Less guilty? Yeah, I think so."
"Me too." She sighed. "I'm glad we apologized. I feel lighter."
He nodded his agreement. "Yeah, me too. It makes me feel better about us; like we didn't start out on such wobbly ground anymore."
"You mean we're like a house, and our foundation is stable now?"
He laughed. "Exactly."
"Why are you laughing?"
"Because you're cute."
Meredith huffed and raised her head off his chest to glare at him. "Seriously, why are you laughing at me?"
He met her eyes with a mischievous grin. "I just found some humour in your choice of metaphor..."
"What's wrong with my metaphor? It was good."
She could tell he was biting back further laughter. "What ever you say, dear."
"Oh, don't you whatever-you-say-dear me, Shepherd," she grumbled. "You understood me just fine."
"Because I've adapted, kind of like evolution, with the forced adaptation; learn to interpret Meredith speak or be permanently unable to understand half of what she says..."
"You think you're being funny?" She asked, trying to appear serious, though her eyes were sparkling.
He nodded and lifted his head up to kiss her. "I am being funny, and honest, at the same time."
She scoffed and rolled off of the couch. He sat upright, still grinning at her as she stood, hands on her hips, glaring down at him. "Funny and honest, huh?"
He nodded. "Yup. It's a talent of mine, along with being able to interpret Meredith speak."
"And what exactly do you mean by Meredith speak?"
"Come on, Mer. You ramble. You construct very odd and vague metaphors. And you say a lot without actually saying anything, leaving a lot to be read between the lines or through body language."
Meredith scrunched her face, wanting to defend herself, but knowing he was absolutely right. She had never perfected getting her point across easily, and seriously doubted she ever would, but he was very good at reading her. "Oh, and you're Mr. Perfect?" She retorted, choosing to defer the focus of their conversation.
"I'm your Mr. Perfect," he countered.
She laughed, but fought to keep a stern expression. "Why can't you just-" She began, but he cut her off.
"You know, you're very sexy when you're bossy."
"Don't even think about it..." But it was too late. Derek launched himself up from the couch and she was in his arms before she had a chance to react. "Derek!" She shrieked, as he headed for the stairs, quickly taking them two at a time before entering their bedroom and depositing her on their bed. "What are you doing?" She asked through her laughter as his weight settled down on top of her.
"Interpreting Meredith speak," he responded. "You totally wanted me. I read the body language..."
She laughed out loud as his lips found her clavicle. "You know what, Derek? You are good."
He laughed against her skin, causing his lips to graze her.
She moaned and pulled his head up to kiss him.
When Derek finally pulled away, he lifted his head several inches from hers, his arms supporting his weight on either side of her shoulders and met her eyes. "It was a good idea," he said softly. "To apologize. I'm glad we did it. I feel..." He smiled and moved one hand to brush a few stray strands of hair out of her eyes. "I feel so much better."
Meredith smiled up at his honest expression. "Me too. So much freer." She ran her hand up his chest and found a handful of his collar to pull him back down to her.
He relented, only coming to a stop a few millimetres away. "It was never a cheap thing," he admitted softly.
She smiled, he hand hooking around his neck to his hair. "I know."
"I never should have left you in the first place."
"I know."
"I love you."
"I know."
Derek raised an eyebrow, refusing to close the short gap between them.
Meredith laughed. "And I love you, too."
"That's better," he mumbled and pressed his lips against hers.
AN: Second last chapter... I've already started the final chapter in my forty-six chapter, two hundred thousand word, supposed to be a one-shot fic, and I found myself very sad. I'm really going to miss this story. However, there will be a sequel. I would love to already have a title for you, but I've only come up with three; one is funny, but stupid and gives away the entire plot of the story, one is somewhat corny but possible, and one is the same as an episode title. Anyway, when I do post the sequel (prolly at least a month from now) I will leave a message in an AN in Where You Belong (which I will get back to as soon as this fic is done, and possibly on my author's page.
I just want to thank everyone who has been reading and leaving feedback, it's a major incentive to get motivated and write more often. For those of you who were also reading Where You Belong, I hope you will forgive me from my long absence and return to reading it. I thought I could handle both, but I was wasting too much time reading back to keep in the proper story line. Also, I posted a one-shot (Life Without Tequila) a few weeks ago, and it didn't get many hits. For anyone interested, I was trying something new for me. It's supposed to be about the idea, not so much the actual story. But it is post 4.11 and it does have hope! LolIf you read it, just stick with it until the end. Thanks for reading!