Buffy groaned and lifted a shaky hand to her head, she felt something warm and wet.
'Great,' she thought, 'I almost drown then I get knocked out. Angel must be freaked.'
With that thought, she sat up and looked around. The floor was a mess, even more so than before the aftershock. Thick dust clouded her lungs and she sent out a cough to clear them.
"Angel?" she called out, looking up, she noticed a section of the ceiling had caved in, the section she and Angel had been standing in.
'How did I get over here?' she wondered, then she remembered hearing Angel yell her name, and him pushing her out of the way.
She got up, not bothering to dust herself off, too worried about Angel to notice the dirt. Quickly she ran over, dodging debris as she went, to where she had been standing. Her breath caught in her throat when she saw Angel lying motionless beneath a fallen beam.
"Angel!" she breathed out in shock as she collapsed down next to him, grabbing the heavy beam and lifting. A few long seconds later it rose and she tossed it aside. Her hand immediately went to his neck, a moment later relief flooded her as she felt a steady beat beneath her fingers.
She put her hand against his cheek, caressing it gently, and called his name.
He stirred, coughed then winced at the pain it caused. He opened his pain filled eyes and looked up at her, "Buffy? You…ok?"He asked, more worried about her than himself.
She nodded her head, "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm not the one the building fell on. Are you ok?" she asked, looking him over for injuries.
He nodded, "Yeah, great, except for the broken ribs." he mummbled painfully. His breathing shallow and slow since it was painful to do so.
She quickly pulled his shirt up and saw the dark bruises appearing on his chest already. A moment later he coughed and a thin trail of blood snaked down his cheek.
'That's not a good sign' he though, and quickly wiped it away before Buffy noticed.
She found a dislodged clothing rack lying in a pile and grabbed a shirt off a hanger, tearing it to make strips to bind the ribs with.
"Come on, this whole place could collapse any second." She insisted as she helped him sit up then stand. They quickly got back to the relative safety of the street incase of another aftershock.
She made him sit down on a bench as she bound his ribs.
"Second time in as many days I break my ribs" he grumbled as she worked, and for the moment wishing he didn't have to breathe since the pain wasn't minor.
"Second time today you saved my life." She said looking up at him.
"Yeah, either I'm getting better, or your getting worse." He said with a forced smile.
She glared at him, and then tightened the strip around his ribs.
"Ow" he groaned, knowing she did it on purpose.
... 2pm ...
They slowly walked back to the apartment, Angel leaning heavily against Buffy for support.
She could tell he was pushing himself; she didn't want him passing out in the street, but they didn't have any other options.
When they finally made it back, Angel collapsed down on the couch, too exhausted to walk the few more feet into the bedroom.
"Angel?" Buffy called as she helped him down, but he didn't respond.
He coughed, a thin line of blood rolled down his lips and she realized his broken ribs must have punctured a lung.
"Oh god" she whispered, knowing she didn't have the medical knowledge to help him or the ability to get him to a hospital, the city was empty. Buffy thought about going to get Giles, but she didn't want to leave Angel alone as injured as he was.
Buffy picked up the wall phone and heard a dial tone; she paged through the yellow pages and found the number to the occult shop Giles was staying in. For a moment she thought it would work, until "I'm sorry, the number…" She slammed the phone down in frustration before the message could finish.
'Damn it. The phone lines near the shop must be down.' She thought.
Not knowing what else to do, she removed Angel's shirt and began to realign and rebind the ribs properly. When she finished all she could do, for the second time in two days, she sat with his head in her lap, gently stroking his hair.
... 5pm ...
Angel slowly awoke; he opened his eyes to see Buffy looking down worried at him. The fact his head was in her lap again did not escape him.
"Hi" he whispered and sat up.
"Angel! Your ribs!" she scolded as she tried to keep him down.
He gently pushed her hands away and sat up fully. "Actually, they're fine, sore, but fine." He said with a grin.
Confused as to why he seemed fine, she quickly unwrapped the bandage and was shocked to see the dark bruises healed and barely visible. "But…how? It's only been a few hours." she looked confused.
"Guess I retained my vamp healing." He shrugged.
"You're pale" she said as she cupped his cheek.
"Hmm…tired, starving too." He admitted with heavy eyelids.
"Rest then, I'll make you some soup." She said as she stood. "Are you sure you're ok?" she asked still not entirely convinced.
He grabbed her hands and placed them on his previously broken ribs, "Do you feel anything broken?" he asked.
She took the opportunity and eagerly ran her hands over his muscular chest, "Nope, nothing but solid." She replied with a slight grin.
He suddenly wanted to grab her and hold her close, but instead he sat back as she turned and walked over to the kitchen cabinets to find one of the dwindling cans of soup.
After a small number of minutes she returned to the couch carrying two hot bowls of Italian wedding soup. 'Damn, he put his shirt back on.' She thought and handed one of the bowls to him, then sat down beside him.
"Did you keep any other powers?" she asked after a few spoonfuls.
He swallowed then replied, "I…I didn't really notice before, but I think I still have all of them." He added after a beat, "Well…maybe not the 'virtually indestructible' one." He emptied his bowl and placed it on the coffee table. She did the same. As he sat back against the couch she watched him out of the corner of her eye. He looked better already, the paleness fading.
The past few hours had been driving Buffy nearly insane with worry, suddenly he was alive again and so close to being taken from her. She needed to know what was between them, if anything. She could no longer stand this awkwardness; she was getting an answer right now.
"Do you still love me?" she suddenly asked him out of the blue.
He looked up startled, "What?" he squeeked.
She repeated the question, "It's not a trick question Angel, Yes or No?"
He looked at her much like a deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car, he almost said no, instead his eyes softened and he whispered truthfully, "Always."
Her brow furrowed in confusion, "I don't understand, then why have you been so distant to me lately?"
He looked down at his hands, to look at anything but her, "I…I thought that's what you wanted, for us to move on, to forget."
She shook her head, "You're the one who said to forget." She almost confronted him about the lost day, but she held her tongue.
He nodded, "Yeah, but you said you weren't ready. I'd be waiting years, if ever, for you to 'finish baking'."
She winced as she remembered her cookie analogy. Mostly that came from a desperate desire to get Angel the hell out of Sunnydale; she knew the vampire would have been a serious help, but also a serious complication, especially with Spike. She had been in 'General mode', and she knew the losses on her side could have been substantial. He wasn't an acceptable loss.
"I was wrong" she said moving closer to him, "I think…I've always been cookies for you." 'Especially now that you're big on the eating.'
He looked into her eyes, his heart attempted to overpower his head, but his head won the internal argument again, and then he looked away from her.
She sighed, frustrated in the former vamp. "There is nothing separating us now Angel, your alive, you can't lose your soul, you could give me a normal life…if, if you don't want that…just… say it so I can…can try to move on." She said with a heavy heart.
"Buffy, I…I do want you. More than anything I want to be with you…It's just…" he paused and she cupped his cheek, forcing him to look at her, hazel green eyes locking with chocolate brown. "Just what?" she demanded.
"God Buffy, I…I tried so hard to keep your heart safe, and I end up being the one to bruise and tear it the most…I never wanted to hurt you, but that's all I seem to do. I don't want to hurt you anymore." He admitted, tears threatening to fall.
"And you think making me live without the only man I ever truly loved isn't hurting me?" She demanded, a second later her eyes softened and she reached her hand up and ran her thumb along his cheek.
"I just want you to be happy." He said, running his hand along her cheek.
"Then make me happy, you're the only one who ever really did." She confessed.
He couldn't hold back any longer, heart won the fight over head; he pulled her forward into a passionate kiss. She quickly jumped onto him, straddling his lap and wrapping her arms around his neck.
After a few minutes he stood with her still wrapped around him, quickly walked into the bedroom, shutting the door with his foot and toppled onto the bed. They pulled away from each other just long enough to shed unwanted clothing, and then collapsed back onto the bed, lost to everything but the feel of each other. They made love well into the night.
... 11pm ...
Buffy smiled as she rested her head on Angel's chest, the rhythmic beat making her sleepy. She forced her eyes back open, she was afraid to shut them, to find out this was some trick, or that he would leave…again. She remembered the last time she laid with him like this; she woke up alone because he ran off and nearly got himself killed fighting a demon. Not to mention he then altered time so it never happened.
She tilted her head and looked up at him, his eyes were shut, but she knew he was awake. "What happens now?" she asked him, unsure of what this meant for their future together.
He slowly opened his eyes and looked down at her, "I'm thinking sleep." He said drowsily as he hugged her closer.
"I don't want to sleep; men tend to disappear while I sleep." She told him, remembering their first time together, and Parker, and Riley.
He brushed a stray unruly hair from her forehead and tucked it behind her ear. "Not this time. Sleep. I'll still be here when you wake." He whispered to her.
She looked up at him, hope shinning in her eyes, "Promise?"
He kissed her forehead, "I promise." He whispered as he fell asleep.
Satisfied, she let herself fall asleep in his arms.
...
Elsewhere in L.A.
A dark shaped walked through the empty, debris cluttered streets. Hard hooded eyes searching for something. A grim smile twitched at the corners of his mouth as he spotted the item of his search.
The shadowed form was soon joined by half-dozen more. Each man-shaped figure wore a black robe-like garment, similar to a ninja, loose fitting to allow for movement, but made for stealth. They all had weapons; crossbows, daggers, throwing stars...all weapons used for attacking from a hidden place or from a distance.
These were not soldiers of the modern world; they used no guns, no technology, had no desire to live in today's comforts. There had no sight beyond the mission, and their mission was death.
The apparent leader knelt before the putrid, twisted and rotting corpse of the dragon. The late spring heat speeding up the decaying process of the huge beast.
His gloved hand reached out, running leather covered fingers over a dark red tinted tooth. Some of the dried blood crumbled onto the glove, the man brought the flakes to his tongue and tasted.
His hard eyes brightened with cruel joy. "The poison has been injected." he rose to his feet and faced the others, "Find him. I wish to watch this one die myself."
... 3am – May 22, 2004 ...
Buffy turned over, reaching for Angel to cuddle with, but he wasn't there. She fully awoke instantly and sat up; she looked around the darkened room, moonlight showing the muted details of the bedroom, but didn't see him.
'He promised.' she thought sadly.
Buffy was about to go searching when she heard the toilet flushing. She quickly lay back down and pretended to be asleep.
A few seconds later she felt Angel slip back into bed and under the covers. As soon as he was comfortable she slid up to him, wrapping him in her arms and pillowed her head on his chest.
"Sorry, did I wake you?" he asked sleepily as he wrapped his arms around her and held her close.
"No" she whispered back, "You not being here did."
He kissed the top of her head, "Sorry. Next time I'll listen when you tell me not to drink so much water before bed." He said with a smirk.
She snuggled closer into him, content and happy, and was soon lulled back to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat.
... 7:30am ...
Buffy felt the warm body next to her, she smiled and opened her eyes, and as promised, Angel lay sleeping beside her.
She laid still, just watching him, the peaceful expression on his face, the rise and fall of his chest, the nakedness of his chest, she drank it all in. She thought about pulling the sheet back, to look at some other parts of his anatomy, but he spoiled her idea by waking up. 'Rats. Oh well, pleantly of time for window shopping later.'
His brown eyes slowly opened, blinked a few times, and then he turned to look at her. He smiled, "Good morning, did you sleep well?"
She smiled back, "Hey, morning. Sleep? Was there sleep? I don't remember there being much in the way of sleep." she said with mock confusion.
He grinned back, "Is that a complaint?"
She shook her head, "Absolutely not. That's defiantly one big exception to the 'don't mess with Buffy's sleep' rule. My only complaint, how come we haven't been doing this all along?" She finished with a slightly husky voice.
He snuggled closer to her, his arm wrapping around her waist, as she pillow her head on his shoulder.
"Besides the 'it will cost me my soul' thing?" he asked, not deciding if he should smile or frown.
"O yeah, that was a problem wasn't it?" She said sheepishly, that little fact already slipping her mind.
He picked an expression and smiled against her ear, "Not anymore."
She giggled as their lips met.
... 10:42am ...
"I have an idea what we can do today." Buffy said as she rolled over and flopped her head on Angel's chest.
"I thought we were doing something." he said with a lusty smile.
She shook her head, "Gees, human for like a minute and already you're total sex tunnel vision." She said with a smirk.
He laughed as her lips lingered closer to his, "Says the girl who won't let me put my pants on."
Their lips were about to meet when she pulled back. "Ok, put them on then." She said as she hopped out of bed and reached for her discarded clothes.
He frowned. 'Nice going idiot' he heard a little voice in the back of his head say. He rolled over and sat on the edge of the bed and reluctantly reached for his pants.
Buffy suddenly pressed against him, he was acutely aware of the fact she was still topless.
"After you get dressed, bring the blankets." She said into his ear, a second later she grabbed her shirt off the floor and exited the bedroom.
It took him a few seconds to register that she had spoken; her bare breasts had been at a very distracting level.
'Blankets?' He shook his head to clear it and finished dressing. He grabbed the blankets off the bed and followed after her. "You do realize it's like 80˚F…in the shade? I don't think you're going to need a blanket." He said as he entered the kitchen, where she was busy packing food and water into a bag.
"Grab the sunblock" she said without answering him.
He shrugged and grabbed the item; she took it and packed it.
"Ok, I think we're ready to go." She said, overly excited and she adjusted the sunglasses she wore in her hair.
"Ready? Go? Would you like to tell me what it is we're actually doing?" he asked, curious since she hadn't told him anything besides 'gets dressed' and 'grab blankets'.
She sent him a mischievous grin, "Nope." She said then headed out the door with the bag slung over her shoulder.
He quickly followed with the blankets held under his arm.
...
After walking for a few minutes he realized they were heading to the beach.
"We're going to the beach again?" he asked.
She didn't turn to look at him, she shrugged and said, "Maybe?"
He shook his head. "I didn't bring my swim trunks."
She smiled, "You won't need them." She promised.
"Well other than swim, what else can you do at the beach? We didn't even bring the chairs" he wondered allowed.
"You'll see" she replied cryptically.
Once they reached the sandy Santa Monica beach, they made their way to where they had been sitting the day before, the sand imprints of their feet still there.
"Lay the blankets out." She said to him as she put the pack down and began to strip.
He was doing what he was told when his attention was caught by her stripping down to nothing. He looked startled for a moment, but looking around he remembered there was no one around but them.
"Well?" she said, stretching out seductively on the blanket. "What are you waiting for?"
He was naked in a second.
As their lips tangled and tongues dueled she laid him down on the blanket, his back sinking into the soft sand beneath. She pulled away a second and smiled, her face silhouetted by the sun shining brightly behind her. "Is it safe to say this is the first time you've ever made love on a beach in the sun?" She asked as she ran her fingers down his coloring chest.
He grinned up at her, "Yeah, it will be."He admitted.
"Good." She said with a smirk. "I finally get to share a first something with you."
He smiled and pulled her closer, "Everything feels like a first with you." He countered.
She let her body reply.
...
A few hours later they lay tangled together on the tousled sandy blanket, both of them drowsy from the mix of sex and sun.
She sighed in contentment, snuggling against his chest, the steady beat still fascinating her. "A girl could get used to this." She admitted.
He smirked. "Mmm…me too." He waited a beat, "Except I think I have sand in my…." He trailed off as he shifted.
She shook her head and laughed, "We can take a shower then we get back. Wash off the salt and the sand."
He nodded and waited a second. "Wanna go back?" he asked, eager about the shower idea.
She laughed, "I've created a monster."
He drew her up closer, "You have no idea." He said nuzzling her neck.
...
The shower water was cold, but Angel didn't seem to notice. Buffy didn't seem to notice the chill of the tile on the shower wall either as her back pressed against it, Angel wrapped tightly between her legs. The heat passing between the both of them could make a volcano seem chilled.
... 6:23pm ...
They sat together on the couch, she was sitting across his lap holding a bowl of instant chocolate pudding, it wasn't cold, but they didn't mind. They each held a spoon, giggling slightly as they fed one another, each exchanging 'knowing' glances.
Buffy heard someone coming up the front stairs and quickly moved off of Angel. They smoothed their rumpled clothes and hair, and then separated. They had agreed to keep their relationship between them for the time being. Buffy knew Giles would have an aneurism if he knew they were together again.
Giles opened the door and breezed into the room, a heavy bag slung across his shoulder, full of books no doubt. He spotted them on the couch, "Ah, yes, Buffy. Very good, I need to speak with you when you have a moment." He said dropping the bag on the kitchen table and turning to face her.
"This is a moment, what's up?" she asked as she put the pudding bowl down on the coffee table.
He shifted, "Ahh…Would it be possible to speak…in private?" He asked, not looking at the former vampire.
Buffy sent her watcher an unhappy glare, "Anything you have to say, you can say in front of Angel. He's one of the good guys, remember?" She quickly squeezed his hand, out of Giles line of sight.
The Englishman nodded, "Very well" he said, moving into the living room and sitting in the chair across from the couch. He removed his glasses and began to wipe them. 'Great, he always does that went its bad news.' She thought disheartened. "Well?" Buffy asked, wanting to get the bad news over with.
Giles took a deep breath. "Well, through hours of research, I've discovered some rather…unsavory…news." He looked up and met Buffy's worried green eyes, they said to keep going.
He looked over at the Irishman sitting beside his slayer. "It seems this new 'human' form you've recently acquired, Angel…it isn't meant to last."
...
Angel's eyes closed as the door to happiness slammed shut in his heart...again.
Buffy's jaw dropped, "Wha-what? Why? How long does it last? What will happen when it wears off? Is there a way to keep it?" She asked all at once. She grabbed Angel's hand again and clung to it for dear life.
Giles sat back in his chair, thinking about how to answer. "In the Gerumdelum codex, I found a passage; it referenced an elite class of assassins, The Order of Phonoi. They specialize in, well assassinations. They are known to eliminate extremely difficult targets, and according to the literature…" He looked directly at Angel, "They have never failed."
Buffy looked confused, "So what does this have to do with Angel being human?"
Angel understood what Giles was implying, "They turned me, to make me vulnerable. As a vampire, I was virtually unkillable. As a man, they have a shot." He reasoned.
Giles nodded, "Precisely. They use dark magic's and potions to find a weakness, and…and then they exploit it. They must have known or even designed the dragon's bite to make you mortal." he theorized.
Angel gently pulled his hand from Buffy's grip, stood up and paced, after a moment he stopped and just began to almost manically laugh. It was all he could do to keep from screaming in anger and frustration.
'Everytime! Every. God. Damn. Time. Something good happens to me and BAM! Loophole, or ancient prophecy, or some other miserable thing comes along to screw it up. I should have known better to think I get to actually live. I really am damned.'
Buffy glared angrily at him, "Why are you laughing! Angel this is serious! These guys want to kill you!" She practically shouted.
That seemed to sober him a moment, "Yeah, you're right. That means I should go. They're after me, not you. I'm sure as Hell not getting you guys caught in the crossfire." He exclaimed as he walked into the bedroom, fully intending to put on his shoes and coat and walk away.
Buffy jumped off the couch and followed him, "So that's it? You're just going to run off and get killed?" she shouted at his back. She pushed him further into the bedroom and not-so-gently kicked the door shut behind her.
He turned to face the raging woman, "You heard what Giles said, this…" He held his hand to his heart, and almost shouted, "This isn't permanent…it will go away, and when it does…then my demon side comes back." he lowered his voice, "Then my curse comes back…" 'Then I can't touch you…' he thought miserably.
She stood starting at him, tears rolling down her cheeks, "You promised you'd stay." She said quietly.
He sighed, looking down, not meeting her gaze. "I want to, but things will go back to how they were, we can't be together like that…it didn't work."
She shook her head, "You didn't want it to work." She almost spat.
He looked up at her hurt and angry, "Because it's unfair to you…"
She cut him off, "You're unfair to me! To treat me like a child! I can make my own decisions Angel; I'm not some swoony little schoolgirl anymore. I'm an adult! My life has never been fair, or normal, or even sane, hell I've died twice! The only thing I ever cared about was being with you, and you walked away from me." She took a deep shuttering breath, "I never understood, I kill you and you come back to me, but I tell you I love you…and you leave me." Hot tears ran freely down her cheeks.
He stood frozen to the spot, his face an expressionless mask.
She turned to walk back into the living room.
"Buffy." His voice stopped her.
She turned to meet his eyes, not even daring to hope.
He moved towards her, she trembled and he pulled her into a tight embrace. She broke down into his chest, his steady heartbeat making her cry harder.
"I can't." she whispered, "I can't do this again." She looked up into his eyes, "I can't just forget, not again."
He looked down at her confused for a moment, then his eyes widened in horror. "You…you remember?" he stammered.
She laid her head back on his chest, listening to the rhythmic beating, "I didn't, not at first. I got to relive the day in Heaven, over and over. After I came back, when I met you, I remembered it all. The Morah demon, the sunshine kiss, the kitchen table, and the ice cream… then you telling me it never happened…" she broke down again and more tears fell down her cheeks.
His eyes squeezed shut, a few tears leaked from the tightly sealed lids as he remembered the happiest day of his very long life. 'I wish I had known then, known why she was so pissed at me when we met, at least we could have talked about it…not that either of us were in the right mental state to discuss something like that at the time .'
"I'm sorry" he whispered, not knowing what else to say. After a moment he added, "The oracles told me you would die if I stayed human; I had to do what was right, even though it was the hardest choice I've ever had to make, I'd do it again to keep you safe."
She looked up at him, shaking her head, "But you didn't save me, I still died Angel. You asked how we could be together if it cost me my life…but being apart cost a life too…is cost you yours." She placed her hand over his beating heart, remembering when she did the same movement only seconds before the day was taken from them.
His jaw tightened, emotions running rampant in his system. He said softly, voice shaking "I was given two options, and I made a choice. Right or wrong, it doesn't matter now."
Buffy pulled back from him, a flair of venom in her voice, "Yeah, you made the choice…alone. My opinion never matters to you, even when you broke up with me; you made the decision without me."
He shifted uncomfortably, eyes looking everywhere but at her, "I…I thought it was for the best, that's what everyone said…"
"Everyone?" she asked suddenly, "Who's everyone?"
He looked down, "Giles, Xander…your mother." He said quietly.
Buffy's eyes widened, "My mother told you to leave?" she asked him, dumbfounded.
He sighed heavily, "Not in so many words…but I understood her point."
Buffy shook her head, not wanting to think about any of this anymore. "Fine. Whatever." She wiped the tears from her eyes, "You know what, you should go, run off and get yourself killed. See if I care. Doesn't matter what I think anyways, you never ask my opinion." She turned her back to him, opened the door, walked back into the kitchen, slammed the door behind her before collapsing in a chair at the table.
Giles overheard a muted bit of the conversation, but it didn't take him long to understand the general concept. ''I'll never hurt her again', he says…rubbish. All that man ever does is hurt my slayer. Perhaps these assassins aren't such a negative after all.' He thought with contempt for the former vampire.
He walked over and picked up the closest chair and put it down next to Buffy, he sat beside her and placed a comforting hand over hers on the table. His eyes quickly checked the bedroom for privacy, the door still shut. Satisfied, he leaned in and spoke softly to his slayer. "This business here in L.A, it doesn't concern us, Buffy. The demons have been slain, no innocence are in jeopardy, you have no duty here. Angel has made some rather beastly decision of late; his involvement in the Wolfram & Hart Corporation is evident enough of that. This may sound rather harsh, but…well he has made this bed himself, perhaps he should lie in it?"
She looked over at her watcher, part of her wanted to agree with him, drop everything here and get on a plane back to Europe; to go back to 'simpler' living, with Dawn and the new Slayers. The other part of her wanted to slam her foot into Giles face for even thinking of abandoning Angel to slaughter.
Angel opened the bedroom door and walked back out into the kitchen, his shoes were on and he had his coat slung over an arm. Buffy looked away from him, having no intentions of watching him walk out of her life, again.
Giles sent him an angry British stare.
Regardless, he stood behind Buffy's chair and spoke, "Your right, I've made a lot of stupid choices, ones that effected you without your consent. Truth is, I'm really old, and that sometimes makes me think that I know better, clearly I don't. So I want you to decide. If you tell me to go, I'll disappear, completely. 'So I can never hurt you again.' Or if you want me to stay, I will. I'll honor your decision either way."
She thought about his words for a moment. 'If he leaves, I know I'll never see him again. Could be good, could be bad. If he stays, and he turns back…I can never touch him again. What would be worse, not having him in my life at all and trying to move on, or having him but never really having him? Oh god, I don't know.'
She took a deep breath and looked at the two men in the room with her. Her eyes met with Giles, her hazel-green meeting his; she could practically hear him screaming 'leave' into her mind.
Her eyes turned to Angel, his dark gaze stayed glued to the floor, his silent brooding almost deafening in the quiet of the room.
She stood and began to pace, weighing the options in her mind. 'Can I live without him in my life again? I have for the past four years…and weren't those exciting years...' she thought sarcastically. 'Am I able to see him only as a friend? We've never been just friends. We tried that…it didn't work out very well either. Not to mention the many hours of love we've shared in the past day. can I just let that all go? Never feel him inside me again?' She stopped pacing and made up her mind.
...
To Be Continued.