AN: Sorry for the delay, I usually don't leave more than a day between uploads. I just ended up tweaking some stuff and not having time to finish. Sorry! Go ahead, I'm sure the suspense is killing you. ;)
…
Everyone had frozen at the sight of Angel in the doorway; the sheet that had adored his body was wrapped tightly around him, covering everything but his feet and head.
The paleness in his face stood out against the beige walls, the deep circles under his eyes and the skin drawn tight over his cheekbones gave him an eerily skeletal appearance under the florescent lights.
Most were looking at the blazing feral yellow of his eyes.
Buffy naturally unfroze first. "Angel?" She cautioned, unconsciously stepping closer, begging herself she wasn't hallucinating.
The golden eyes didn't bother her as much as the fact those were the only signs of the demon present on his face.
His mouth opened, but words didn't quite make it out, couldn't, he was shivering too badly.
He'd tried to say her name, but couldn't get the 'B' off his numb tongue.
One word did manage to escape, "C-c-cold."
He had felt Buffy's defenses building, the Slayer in her was activating, feeling threatened by the actions of those around her. His demon responded to it, even if it did take nearly every bit of the vampire's strength to rise from that cold steel table and walk those few steps.
Now, as he stood statue still in the doorway, he could already feel the numbness crawling back in.
The cold was grinning at him, promising an eternity in frozen horror. Angel could feel his throat closing again, the tightness in his chest resuming. The darkness wanted him back.
Cassidy looked perfectly horrified at him a moment, running though every medical test she'd done, practically beside herself on how he could be standing in the doorway shaking like an earthquake. The doctor in her pushed to the surface as she realized he was most assuredly suffering from some rather severe hypothermia at the moment, which would make sense if he was alive and laying on an ice cold steel table for nearly a day while in an AC cooled room.
The second thing she noticed was he was barely getting in any air. His breaths came in quick short gasps, as if he couldn't expand his chest enough to take a deep breath.
She gave him about a minute before he dropped unconscious from oxygen deprivation.
The how and why he was breathing could be figured out later, the important factor was to keep him doing it.
The slayer vanished as the wife took control, barely registering the potential danger Angel's vampiric side could represent to her and only seeing her should-be-dead husband in desperate need of body heat.
In under a minute, she was across the hall and her arms were wrapping around him.
The paralysis was clawing at his muscles again, making Angel feel like he were trying to walk in molasses or peanut butter. His limbs felt heavy, like lead was flowing in his veins instead of blood. His head swam as his strength failed him.
She felt his face press against her neck, his cold lips sending chills down her body, and not exactly an unpleasant feeling.
His body pressed against hers, seeking not only her warmth, but her in general.
Carefully she lowered them to the floor, feeling Angel's legs giving out. Pressing against him, she could feel his chest trying to expand to allow more air, also felt how it wasn't working.
Her mind replayed his death in the tunnel, how he'd been short of breath and unable to catch it…how he'd stopped breathing. She had tried to revive him, but it hadn't worked. Now she was terrified it was happening again.
"Son of a Bitch! Idiot, idiot, idiot…" Cassidy suddenly cursed and began mumbling her herself, realizing what she'd missed earlier during Angel diagnosis. She ran off down the hall to her office and the supply closet.
That left the other three stunned persons in the room to look dumbly at one another before rushing to help.
Willow dashed into a hospital room to the right and grabbed the blanket off the bed as Xander ran to collect the one across from it.
Seconds later they were helping wrap the blankets around Angel, who hadn't spoken again but was still shaking at near seizure levels.
Giles ran after Cassidy, figuring she may need help with medical equipment.
Buffy called her husband's name, but he wasn't responding, save for wrapping a stiff arm around her and not letting go.
A few minutes later, "Ok, clear some space." Cass yelled as she and Giles rushed over with a blanket covered gurney so they could bring Angel into the emergency room.
His arm wouldn't release, so Buffy jumped onto the wheeled bed with him, doing her best to get him warm and help his labored breaths.
As soon as they reached the ER, Cass tried to force a mask over Angel's nose and mouth, which was rather difficult as he burrowed against Buffy's neck.
"Angel relax, I'm right here." His wife soothed him as his demon side began to respond negatively to hands pulling him away from her. "Baby, I need you to lie down, I'm not going anywhere, I promise." She pleaded, her words heavy with fear and worry. He was barely breathing now and all she could picture in her mind was a freshly carved tombstone with his name on it.
In response, the growling lessened and she was able to push him down to lay flat, allowing Cass to finally get the mask in place.
The mask immediately helped ease some the clamor for air, the oxygen filled plastic allowing for more of the precious resource to be delivered with each labored breath than normal air allowed.
"Just breathe." Buffy repeated into his ear, rubbing her hand over the too cold skin above his heart, holding his demon calm as Giles tossed an electric blanket over them to help speed the reheating process.
"Hold him tight please; I don't need my neck torn off." Cass asked Buffy as she prepared to intubate him.
Angel's lips were steadily growing bluer, indicating his blood wasn't absorbing enough oxygen. The mask wasn't enough and the tube needed to go in, fast.
"He's really not going to like that, can't you drug him first?" Buffy cringed, remembering how Angel tended to fight the tube tooth and nail…sometimes literally with fangs and claws.
"Can't. He already is, so hold him please." The doctor said quickly, piling blankets under Angel's head for a better position to open his airway.
Buffy bit back her questions and did as she was told, telling him to relax and let Cass help him breath while pinning his arm not frozen around her waist to the bed.
Giles tugged at Willow and Xander, all three exiting the room to give Cass space to work and for respect of Angel's privacy.
Uncharacteristically, Angel barely struggled against the tube Cass guided into his airway. She figured the paralysis still flowing in his body was helping keep him still and the numbness lessened his gag reflex as she was working the tube in place.
The plastic airway was just about positioned when the muscles of his chest refused to respond, breathing stopped.
"Crap...almost." She frowned, pushing the item in deeper and feeling Angel's neck for position. "Well, one way to test if it's in the right place." The MD hooked the end not buried in the living vampire up to the breathing machine and flipped it on.
The machine hummed to life and Angel chest was able to fully inflate with air.
Under less dire circumstances, Angel's body would have fought the mechanical whoosh in and out, but if not breathing was the alternative, his body accepted the intrusion in exchange for finally being able to breathe deeply and easily.
The shivers had stopped, but Cass knew it was more to due with paralysis than reaching optimal body temperature. His skin was still cold to the touch; lips, fingers and the bags under his eyes all still held a bluish hue.
Moving quickly, the doctor pulled over a large machine the size of a desk and began setting it up.
"What is that?" Buffy asked, her worry somewhat pacified by the steady mechanical breaths now supporting her husband's respiratory system but still uneasy with Angel's declining movements and awareness.
"Heart-lung machine." The redhead replied, pulling two large needles from a sanitary bag and attaching them to plastic tubing.
"For what?" The blond asked, nervously.
"To rewarm Angel's blood." Cass explained while pulling it over and tying an elastic band around Angel's arm so she could locate a vein. She passed an elastic to Buffy to do the same on the arm around her waist. "Cold blood will be drawn in on one side, heated in the machine, and the warm blood will be pumped back in on the other. It's the most effective method for treating server hypothermia."
The electric blanket was only good skin deep.
It took a few tries for Cassidy to get the needles in place, Angel's veins were tightly constricted from the cold.
About two minutes of calibrating and adjusting, and the machine was working steadily. Checking the temperature read out of Angel current body temperature cause a cringe. Normal human body temp ran between 98-100 degrees F, she had no idea how his heart could still be beating at 65 degrees F.
Speaking of, the redhead pulled the heart monitoring pads off the heart-lung machine and peeled the mound of blankets back to expose the pale chest buried beneath.
Buffy's eyes pulled from her husband's white face and moved to follow Cassidy.
The doc placed the senor pads in specific areas on Angel's chest then turned on the machine. Instantly, it let out an angry wail, flashing red the moment it activated.
The slayer nearly jumped off the bed in alarm.
The doctor quickly shut off the sound as Buffy panicky asked what was wrong.
Angel didn't react to the noise in the slightest. If it wasn't for his chest moving, she would have thought him dead.
"His heartbeat is dangerously low, but that's to be expected from the hypothermia and paralysis. His body is slowly, I guess you could call it, waking up. The beats per minute should steadily increase as the tetrodotoxin gradually metabolizes out of his system." She explained, not looking worried.
Hazel green eyes watched the flashing red number 17 as it turned into an 18, a few moments later it increased to a 19.
Letting her anxiety retreat back down, Buffy settled more comfortably in beside her husband and watch the steady rise and fall of his mechanically assisted breathing.
Cassidy checked the breathing machine and installed an IV to help hydrate him and deliver key nutrients, he had just spent 24 hours without food or water.
Buffy ran her thumb along her lover's brow, the warmth painfully slowly returning beneath her fingers.
In response to the touch, Angel's eyes flickered open again, the golden pupils slowly fading back to brown as his body finally relaxed and the demon receded to recharge.
Buffy smiled for those eyes as they focused on her, already searching her for possible injuries. He was barely breathing under ten minutes ago, but he was already concerned about her.
"I'm ok." She assured him, running her finger down his cheek, a gesture to help calm both of them.
Seeing him awake and aware brought fresh tears to her eyes, but this time they weren't for grief, but relief.
She'd had to pull his arm off her so Cassidy could get the needle into it, but her hand wrapped around his, holding tightly, feeling warmth returning.
A simple pleasure she'd thought was lost to her forever just a little while ago.
After a moment, it donned on her that he wasn't squeezing her hand back.
Buffy finally understood. "You're paralyzed." She stated, sitting up and looking down at him with fear in her eyes. Now realizing that was what caused his inability to breath. He could barely move his muscles, even those necessary for respiratory function.
"Temporarily." Cassidy added from beside them as she moved to insert a new fluid bag into the IV.
"What do you mean? How do you know?" The slayer more or less demanded.
"I'm an idiot." Cass repeated from earlier.
"That hardly sounds like an explanation." Buffy stated, very not in the mood for cryptic talk.
"It is and I am. I saw all the signs and completely missed the turn." She said while wondering how she could neglect something so obvious and still call herself a doctor.
"What is? How Angel came back to life?" The blond asked, getting annoyed in the delay of an answer.
"Angel didn't come back to life, he never died." Cassidy informed them as she switched out the empty saline bag for the full one.
"This is where I say Huh?" Buffy frowned, then added, "And do I have to replay the words you spoke not two seconds before the morgue door swung open?"
Cass finished with the IV and faced the two sets of eyes following her. "You know how I said the tetrodotoxin in the octopus bite causes paralysis to the respiratory muscles and that causes cardiac arrest and death?" She didn't wait for Buffy to respond, "well it can also cause the body to essentially power down. Like in a movie where the main character takes some mystery drug to fake their death, the concept is based on tetrodotoxin. Body temperature, heart rate and breathing drop so low they can't be easily detected, which is basically what happened to Angel. He was never dead, but in a near-dead state. I misdiagnosed him…thus I'm an idiot."
Buffy wasn't sure weather she wanted to hug Cass, or throw her out the top story window.
Angel just looked between the two confused, but too tired to rake his brain for what they meant. Despite the numbness crawling over him, the warmth was seeping in, luring him towards sleep.
"Wait." Something suddenly occurred to Buffy, "I left him lying on the Morgue table while he was alive!" She snapped, horrified. She mentally began kicking herself for the few times she'd felt Angel twitch but never acted to help him. She looked down apologetically at her husband, trying to figure out how to beg for forgiveness, but his eyes were heavily lidded and she could tell he was barely listening.
Buffy felt a mix of relief and disappointment that he was falling asleep; glad that his body was now getting the oxygen it needed and was warm and comfortable enough to get the much required rest, but sad it meant seeing his eyes close and unable to begin the long string of apologies she felt were inevitable.
"Actually, that's more than likely was what kept him alive until now." Cass continued at the blond's of confusion, "The cold kept his metabolism low, which reduced his need for oxygen further while his body was fully immobilized. If he'd been kept warm, he likely would have suffocated and really gone into cardiac arrest...granted I could have intubated him upon arrival and that would have solved that right then and there..." She trailed, feeling like an idiot for not checking more thoroughly for signs of life. 'Thank god I didn't do an autopsy!' Cass turned green a moment.
"If he's paralyzed, how did he move before?" Buffy questioned, wondering how he'd gotten off the table and pushed open the morgue door.
Cassidy shrugged, "The demon within must have flooded his system with adrenalin, that mixed with determination..."
Her eyes drifted to study his face a moment, seeing the color slowly returning to his lips and cheeks, life chasing away the grim gray-white death mask.
There were still dark patches under his eyes, but she knew rest would erase those.
The wounds on his forehead and arms had long since closed, leaving behind a barely visible line that would soon fade altogether.
Buffy digested Cass's words for a moment, still wary about the idea. "Will he fully recover?"
The MD checked the monitors and looked at her sleeping patient. "Chances are fairly good, he's a tough bastard."
Cassidy watched Buffy's eyes move back to Angel, to focus longingly at his shoulder. Figuring Buffy wanted to but was hesitant to snuggle up against him for fear of doing something to hinder his treatments, Cass added "Skin to skin contact is a great way to help with hypothermia, just be careful to not disrupt the needle in his arm."
With that said, she did a few more routine jobs and slipped from the room to give them some privacy. Her patient would recover, she was positive of that.
Buffy told herself that if it helped re-warm her husband quicker, then she was pretty much obligated to lay as close to him as possible.
That, and she really, really wanted to.
Carefully lying down, she snuggled against his chest and rested her head on his shoulder, just relishing in the feeling of him breathing and warm against her skin.
The arm resting behind her on the mattress jerked and she felt panic rush in again, but it only took a second for her her relax and smile at what had happened. Like always, he was trying to wrap his arms around her, they just weren't responding due to the paralysis.
She laid back down and slipped her arms across his waist to mingle with the fingers of the opposite hand, weaving hers though his and caressing his skin.
Idly she wondered if he could even feel it.
His fingers twitching in response to her touch had her concluding with confidence that he could.
Content in the knowledge he was recovering; she closed her eyes a moment and just listened to the conforming breaths.
…
Buffy stretched and opened her eyes, then looked up confused at the clock on the bedside table. 'Oops must have fallen asleep.' She figured since nearly three hours had disappeared in an instant.
Angel looked asleep still, although it was difficult to tell when his breathing was being regulated by a machine. His breaths didn't slow like they would during sleep when breathing naturally.
Glancing at the heart monitor revealed a green 36 beats per minute, which was low for usual human standards but normal for a sleeping young, healthy male with a strong athletic build and recovering from recent barely beating at all heart.
Slowly she untangled herself from him, careful of the breathing tube and various lines and needles, so she could spend a few minutes of Buffy-relieve-time in the adjoining bathroom.
Her eyes responded unhappily when she flicked on the restroom light, but by the time she went to wash her hands they had adjusted. The reflection staring back at her in the mirror brought a grim frown to her lips.
She looked like crap.
What caught her attention first was a large bruise on her cheek, where she remembered getting a suction-cup to the face.
There were bags under her eyes, not nearly as bad as Angel's had been, but still prominent from the numerous tear sessions and lack of restful sleep until a few hours ago.
Bed-head would have been desirable when compared to the tangled mess that sat atop her head. 'Didn't brush it after I took a shower.' Granted she hadn't been in a very self-presenting mood at the time. She remembered thinking 'What's the point of looking my best? The love of my life isn't here to see it.'
There was a slight ache in her ribs, pulling her shirt up revealed healing bruises she hadn't even noticed before.
Apparently she hadn't walked away unscathed from the fight, she just had been too distraught over Angel to notice.
Her exploration was cut short as the heart monitor alarmed.
Rushing back into the room she found Angel struggling against the sheet covering him, trashing weakly and grasping at the tube running down his throat.
"No! No that has to stay in, you can't breathe without it." She quickly grabbed his hand away from the tube as he moved to pull it out.
A second later she realized he wasn't awake, but having a nightmare.
"Angel. Angel, it just a dream, wake up." She urged, holding him from clawing at his breathing tube and other lines.
A moment later his eyes snapped open, and his mouth opened in silent scream, the tube pushing against his vocal cords wouldn't allow for actual sounds to form.
She wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheeks, repeating that everything was alright and to calm down.
"Angel, relax, it was just a dream." She repeated, running her fingers along the back of his neck and feeling him automatically relax in her embrace.
Angel's mind stopped the screaming his mouth wouldn't produce, the after effects of the nightmare fading from her touch and soothing words. He'd dreamed the darkness had come back for him, to wheel him back into the lonely darkness on a steel table. To feel nothing but empty and cold and alone again for all eternity.
Buffy chased away the darkness, she had always been his light.
The red pulsing 140 beats per minute on the heart monitor drew Cassidy running from her office and into their room, but upon entering she discovered Buffy doing a better job than she'd, or anyone else, would ever be able to do to relax the living vampire. The flashing numbers quickly declined as Angel settled.
'Nightmare' popped into the MD's mind. It hadn't been the first time he'd had one in the ER, certainly wouldn't be the last.
Cass slipped along the wall and looked over at Buffy, catching her eye. The blond nodded that he was stable and Cass moved to check the machines for confirmation.
"What was it?" Buffy asked the father of her children, running her fingers along his brow.
His eyes glanced in her direction, then away.
She remembered he couldn't talk with the tube in his mouth.
Cass slid up to the bed, "You were conscious while paralyzed, weren't you?" She accurately surmised the subject of the nightmare.
His quick guilty glance downward was more of a yes that the word itself would have been.
"What?" Buffy demanded, a horrified look on her face.
His hand quickly found hers, squeezing it while shaking his head no.
The paralysis was slowly wearing off now that his metabolism was speeding back up.
"I don't care if it wasn't the whole time! I should have known, I so sorry Angel." His wife apologized, reading what he'd said though body language and still bashing herself for not realizing what her feelings of 'something wrong' had meant.
He moved his hand, traced his thumb down her cheek, and bought a small smile to her lips.
"Even if you don't blame me, I still blame me." She replied.
He shook his head again and pulled her down; she went willingly and melted against his side. His fingers traced down her back as he held her close.
If a tube wasn't in the way, he would have kissed her forehead told her she had made a few of those periods of 'conscious but immobile' bearable just by being there.
Cass noticed his right arm seemed to be back to normal, moving, feeling, coordinated.
She poked her pen into the index of his left.
The fingered twitched and his arm pulled back, Angel turned his eyes to her, annoyed.
Cass shrugged, "Just checking." She smiled at him, knowing how much he hated being a patient.
Buffy realized what Cassidy had been checking for and ran her finger down her husband's chest.
He watched, expecting it but disappointed when he felt nothing.
She could see it in his eyes that her touch hadn't registered as anything beyond visual.
"It'll probably take another 4 to 12 hours for all feeling and motor skills to return." Cass informed them, "I'm actually surprised you can move as much as you can now."
Angel rolled his eyes, signaling he wasn't all that impressed with his progress.
The phone on the bedside table began to ring and Buffy sent it a curious glance before reaching over and snagging it off the base. "Hello?"
Angel could clearly hear Dawn on the other line; angrily chewing out her sister for not telling her Angel was in the Med-Ward as she just found out from Xander when she brought the kids up to the offices since they'd been screaming for hours missing their parents.
"Dawnie I…Ok…Yes…I'll be right up, ok?" Buffy quickly ended the call, stopping herself from checking to see if here ear was bleeding from the string of sharp words her baby sister had just slung at her across the line.
She sent her husband an apologetic glance but he encouraged to her go with a nod.
"Rest, ok? I'll be back down later." She tuned to go then stopped herself. She turned and bent down to kiss his forehead, "I love you."
The corners of his lip twitched, about as good as a smile he could manage at the moment. He brushed his thumb over her lips, the best he could do for a kiss, and she pressed her lips to the digit in return. She didn't need to hear the words "I love you" from his mouth, his touch and eyes said it best.
When Buffy left, Cassidy turned to him and smiled, "Well I guess now it's just you and me."
She could almost hear the groan he couldn't produce because of the plastic tube sitting against his vocal cords.
…
As soon as she entered the playroom, she had two little pairs of arms wrapped around her legs and an angry set of blue eyes glaring at her from the chair Angel usually read to the kids in.
Ignoring the eyes for a moment, she greeted her children, not realizing how much she'd missed them. "Hi babies." She smiled, lifting Katie and Liam into her arms. "Not a baby!" Katie protested, the newly turned three year old very clearly a big girl now. "Of course, how could I have forgotten?" Buffy smiled at her, already dreading the inevitable teenage years to come. "Where's daddy?" The young brunette asked, always one of the first questions out of her mouth when one parent or another was missing. "Daddy?" Liam repeated, still not big on sentences but was king of one worded responses. Like father like son.
"He's taking a nap." Buffy replied, not exactly a lie. She doubted the kids would understand what being on a breathing tube meant.
…
Buffy spent the few two hours entertaining her children and promising her sister she would explain everything once the kids went down for their nap.
When her two year old baby boy paused pushing his monster truck around the floor to rub his eyes, Buffy knew nap time had finally arrived.
Liam went down easily, he actually seemed to like napping. Her firstborn was another story.
"I wanna nap with daddy." The dark eyed little girl stubbornly pleaded for the 11th time in half as many minutes. Katie tended to only nap when Angel napped with her, but Buffy was trying to break her of that habit. It wasn't like Angel could follow her everywhere all the time, like daycare or inevitably preschool.
Buffy mentally kicked herself, she had been just like Katie when she was a child. 'Mom, I'm SO sorry' she apologized in her head, sending a brief glance skyward and wondering if her mother was laughing her butt off in payback right now.
After a few minutes of sterns 'No' vs 'stubborn pout face', Katie reluctantly curled up under her bedroll blanket combo and closed her eyes.
Buffy let out a breath and turned to find her sister hovering. "Ok, let's talk." She surrendered, walking away to keep from disturbing the sleeping toddlers to sit on the couch and catch her sister up on what had happened.
...
A chocolate brown eye slid open, carefully to avoid detection.
Once Katie saw her mommy and auntie were busy talking, she stuffed her pillow under her blanket and tip toed out of the room. Once in the hall, she walked to the elevator and pressed the call button, looking behind her every few seconds to see if she'd been caught yet. A ding alerted her to the elevator arriving and she hurried thought the doors when they opened. She had to stand on her tip toes to push the button (B) for basement.
She impatiently waited until the doors opened again and she snuck into the Med-Ward hallway, looking around for anyone who might spot her.
When she heard steps, Katie darted behind a door and stood still and quiet until they disappears into an office. She knew if someone saw her, her mommy would come get her and be very mad.
Resuming her search, she walked down the hall again and looked around, feeling that her daddy was somewhere nearby.
When she got to the room at the end of the hall, she glanced in and finally found him.
He was lying in a bed, sleeping like mommy had said to Auntie Dawn. She ran over to him, ready to yell his name and jump on the bed, but paused and frowned when she saw a tube in his mouth. 'What's that?' She thought, moving closer. Looking around more, she saw other tubes in his arms.
She'd seen Angel in the hospital before, but had been too young to really notice. All she knew was tubes made you better, which meant you had to be sick.
"Daddy?" she called softly, looking a little afraid at the machine the tube was attached to.
Angel stirred and slowly opened his eyes, having been dreaming he heard Katie's voice. Slight movement to his right caught his eye, a flash of dark hair vanishing under the bed. Now he was pretty sure he hadn't just dreamed his daughter voice.
He looked around, having expected to see Buffy standing nearby or someone else who would have brought her down with them. He had a bad feeling Katie wandered off on her own to come find him while Buffy was preoccupied. Katie the little escape artist strikes again.
Angel wanted to call to her, but couldn't with the tube in place.
Wincing from the way it pulled on the plastic in his throat, he sat up and looked over the bed, but only saw floor. Now focusing, he could hear her heartbeat from somewhere under the bed, she must be hiding. He figured the tube was scaring her.
Laying back down, he let his right hand fall over the edge to hang below the bed, lightly fluttering his fingers.
Katie always went for his hand when he offered it, it usually meant he'd pick her up and let her ride on his shoulders or toss her up in the air. Like a baited hook, it took only a few minutes before he felt her little fingers wrap around his.
Slowly he moved his thumb along the back of her hand, keeping his touch light. Grabbing her would only make her more afraid and pull away.
After a moment, he saw hisown dark hair and eyes pop up over the side of the bed, looking curiously up at him.
He gave her the best smile he could and ran his index finger under her chin to the ticklish spot he knew was there. In returns he was rewarded with a smile and a "Daddy, stop it" giggle as she squeezed his pinky and ring finger tighter to pull his hand away.
He lifted his hand a little, silently asking if she wanted to come up on the bed.
Katie looked uncertain a moment, like she was afraid she'd get in trouble, but then nodded.
Angel couldn't help but grin at how big his baby girl was getting as he lifted her one handed onto the bed. Finding it actually hard for once.
When she was sitting on the mattress, she let go of his hand move down towards his knees, looking at the tube in his mouth. "What's that?" She asked.
He placed his hand on his throat and shook his head, hoping she understood.
After a moment of adorably scrunching her face in confusion she asked, "You can't talk?"
He shook his head no.
"Oh." She exhaled, looking down with a very Buffy-like pout.
After a second she looked up with a smile, "But you can still listen, right?"
He would have laughed if he could have but grinned and nodded that yes he could listen.
That started an avalanche of words. His little girl defiantly inherited her mother's babble genes. "Mommy wanted me to take a nap but she said you were napping, so I thought I'd take a nap with you, but mommy said no…so when she was talking to Auntie Dawn and I came to look for you…" She stopped and looked up, "Am I grounded?"
He smiled and shook his head no. If he'd had a problem with beautiful talkative females that never did what they were told, well then he wouldn't have fallen in love with and married her mother.
"Ok, I'm telling mommy you said that, in case she says I'm grounded." She replied back seriously.
He snorted silently.
Katie scooted closer, fear of the medical equipment forgotten as she played with her daddy's fingers and snuggled under his arm as he wrapped it around her. She started going on about how Liam got a Lego up his nose and Angel just lay there with a smirk on his lips, thoroughly enjoying listening to his little motor mouth.
…
Buffy looked over at the two children napping on the floor, she smiled at Liam was sucking his thumb, as always, but she frowned at the lumpy blanket beside him that didn't look right.
Getting closer she realized it was just Katie's pillow under the blanket, and no Katie.
She looked around the room for her daughter, but found no trace.
"Dawnie? Did Katie go to the bathroom?" she asked her sister who was sitting on the couch after they talked about why Buffy hadn't come home the night before.
The former key looked around, "No, I thought she was napping."
Alarm began to grow in Buffy's belly.
"Damn, she must have snuck off to find Angel. I should have known better to think my kids would listen when we never did."
Dawn snorted, "I listened, it was you that got in trouble."
"Says the former klepo." Buffy shot back.
"Hey, you used to steal lipstick and nail polish." Her little sister re-fired.
"Ok lets fight after I find my daughter." Buffy pulled back to the situation at hand, "Stay here with Liam?"
Dawn nodded and Buffy quickly left to track her headstrong child.
…
It hadn't taken long for the 'needing a nap' to sneak back up on Katie. Slowly she lowered herself down onto her father's chest as she went on about what her favorite TV show characters did on the last episode. Angel listened intently, not just because he was stuck in bed and couldn't reply, but because he just loved to hear her talk. Just like her mom. His fingers brushed though her growing long hair and down her back, encouraging sleep.
Minutes later her words trailed off and she was out like a light.
Now the only sound in the room was the breathing machine.
He wanted to call Buffy, so she wouldn't worry when Katie came up missing, but both couldn't reach the phone nor talk into it. He could press the 'call' button to summon Cassidy, but could hear her low heartbeat from the room next door. She'd surrendered to her own nap. He didn't want to wake her, half of her night had been spend taking are of him, so he figured she'd earned a rest.
He knew his wife was smart, she'd figure out where Katie went soon enough.
After a few minutes of contently watching his little girl sleep, his own eyes drifted shut.
…
Buffy paced in the elevator, which was rather hard when you factor in the small space.
She didn't wait for the doors to fully open before she squeezed though and hurried down the hall, eyes scanning for signs of a dark haired about-to-be-grounded-until-she's-thirty-five little girl.
Her worry evaporated when she glanced into Angel's room, immediately seeing their baby girl curled up with her father.
No matter how many times she saw it, the sight always took her breath away.
Angel's eyes slid open as he heard his wife's heartbeat come closer.
"Let me guess" she accused, "she sweet-talked you into not grounding her…again."
He sent back a sheepish look.
"You better learn the word no before she asked for a motorcycle or a tattoo." She grinned.
He may have actually scowled at the thought.
She smirked and bent down to place a kiss on his forehead, then brushed Katie hair aside so she could kiss her's too.
Sitting on the other side of the bed, where there was a little room, she looked her husband over. She noticed the Heart-lung machine was missing, along with the twin needles that had been inserted to rewarm Angel's blood. She figured correctly that his body temperature had improved enough so Cass had removed them earlier while she was upstairs with the kids.
"How are you doing? Regain anymore feeling?" She addressed to him, wanting his opinion of his recovery.
He gave off a slight 'deer in the headlights' look. He obviously hadn't even though about it.
"I guess you had a distraction." Buffy smirked, looking down at Katie.
He nodded, brushing his fingers along her hair.
Feeling her parent's stare, Katie turned in her sleep; her hand sliding over Angel's chest and making him twitch from the tickle it produced.
Noticing the reaction, Buffy stood and moved to the bottom edge of the bed. Angel watched curiously as she lifted the blanket at his feet. He couldn't see what she was doing behind the white sheet but quickly pulled his leg back from the tickle as she ran her fingers under his foot.
"Congratulations, you've graduated to ticklish again." She grinned, glad feeling had returned to his extremities.
Figuring if he could feel, he could probably breath on his own too. He moved his hand up to the breathing tube, toying with the idea of pulling it out.
"Don't even think it mister." Buffy warned, slapping his hand away when she saw the idea in his eyes. "I'll get Cass."
He ignored the stinging the slap produced in his hand, the nerves still tender for being numb for just over a day.
Angel shook his head in response to Buffy's last sentence, nodding towards the room next door and pretended to be asleep a second.
"So you want to wait to remove the tube until Cass decides to wake up from her nap?" Buffy questioned.
When she said it out loud, he seemed to reconsider his options then nodded to wake her up. He wanted the damn tube out ASAP.
"Good choice" Buffy added as she went to wake the doctor.
A few minutes later, Buffy re-entered with a groggy Cassidy.
Buffy scooped up the sleeping toddler so the doc could examine Angel without having to work around Katie. "I'm just going to bring her upstairs; I'll be back in a minute." She said as she carried her daughter back up to the playroom.
After a few minutes of checking Angel over and scanning his test results, the redhead nodded, "Lets see, feeling has returned to +90% of your body, your reflexes are good, pupils dilating, temperature and heart rate are about normal. Your body metabolized the tetrodotoxin faster than I predicted. Ok, so I'll shut the machine off and let you try breathing on your own, if you can, I'll yank the tube. If not, you're staying on it."
Angel agreed and Cass worked to unhook the tube from the machine.
Once the tube was free, it took Angel a few seconds to adjust to inhaling though a glorified straw, but was able to take a full deep breath without trouble. Cass listened to his lung expand with her stethoscope for a few repetitions, checking for fluid build-up or congestion, but finding none, she gave him the green light to remove the tube.
She deflated the ball holding it inside his throat and peel the tape off which held it in place. "Ok, deep breath, I'll slide it out on the exhale."
Angel did as he was instructed; a moment later he was coughing and gagging out the tube.
"Doing ok?" Cass asked, looking him over as he coughed to clear his lungs.
He nodded, rubbing the sore spot on his throat. "Yeah." He crocked out, "Hate that thing."
"It saves your life time and again and all you have is scorn for it, real nice." She shook her head, "Breathe." She ordered, listening with the stethoscope again.
He did, the cough receding until it vanished all together.
She gave him a final exam, checking his pupils and reflexes one last time.
"Ok, I'll clear you, but keep the demon slaying to a minimum for a few days huh?" Cass asked, removing the catheter and IV lines.
Angel scowled at the hands probing areas he wasn't comfortable with anyone but Buffy touching, "Yes dear." He muttered, wincing at the sensation as the tube in his groin was tugged free.
Cass began her lecture, "Make sure you can swallow spit before trying water, and wait until you're comfortable with that before eating. I'd suggest only soft food as to not irritate your throat for a day or two. If you have any troubles, you better come back down and say something, because if I have to make a house call, the next catheter I install will be the biggest tube I can get my hands on."
He gulped at that.
…
Katie had awoken before Buffy could reach the elevator and claimed to need to use the potty. Buffy helped lift her onto the toilet but was then shooed away while Katie did her business. Once the toilet flushed, she boosted Katie up so she could wash her hands.
"Ok, back upstairs with you." Buffy ordered.
"But I wanna nap with daddy." She pouted, her father's puppy dog stare oh so much more potent on a three year olds face.
Buffy knelt so she was more level with her daughter, "Sweetheart, Daddy's in with Cassy right now. We need to let her do her job, she's a doctor, remember?"
"What's the straw in daddy's mouth?" She asked, worried. "Is he broken?"
"No, no he's not broken. Daddy is going to be ok. He got stung, like a bee sting, and it made it hard for him to breathe. The tube helped put air in his lungs." Buffy explained as simply as she could, leaving out a good deal of the other aspects.
"Can we go back and see him?" Katie asked.
"Not right now honey." She stood and took her hand, "We'll come back down later with Liam, Ok?"
Katie pouted but took her mother's hand.
They were waiting for the elevator when Angel stepped into the hall, tugging on a shirt he pulled out of a locker of clothes he and Buffy kept downstairs.
"Daddy!" Katie cheered, dropping Buffy's hand and charging down the hall.
Angel pulled his shirt into place just in time to catch the missile that launched at him.
"Hi munchkin." He smiled, lifting her up into his arms.
"You all better!" She said excited.
"All better." He agreed, kissing her cheek and making her laugh.
He looked over at Buffy when she came over, reading the crossed arms and raised eyebrow and said, "Don't give me that look, Cass cleared me to leave. Ask her yourself if you don't believe me."
She shook her head, "Not necessary. I can tell when you're lying."
"Good, let grab some food, I'm starving." He grinned, wrapping his free arm around his wife and pointing her towards the elevator.
"Can I have ice cream?" Katie asked, eyes sparkling.
"Yeah, after dinner." Buffy laughed.
On the way up to grab Liam for dinner, Buffy's brow drew together in thought, thinking how very different this day would have ended had Angel not recovered. Her thought were interrupted when Katie's laughter echoed loudly in her ears in the tiny elevator car. She tried to get back into brooding, but the twin smiles beside her were too infectious.
…
That night, Buffy lay tangled in bed with her husband. Their lovemaking had sent him right to sleep after, but her mind was still too wired to rest.
The thoughts from the elevator returned, imagining her life without Angel.
It sent a chill up her spine.
She knew that it was inevitable that one of them would die, they were mortal and it happened to everyone eventually. She was just worried it would occur before they were both old and grey. Although Angel was already over three hundred, she was positive he'd age at a human rate now.
Another thought occurred to her. In actual alive and human years, he'd just turned thirty earlier that month. On her next birthday, she'd be 28.
Buffy started to think about her biological clock again, wondering how long a slayer's window of fertility was open for. She hadn't conceived since the miscarriage last April, although they were actively using protection against it since February, there had been no protection in between…and no baby to show for it.
She turned and studied Angel's sleeping face, tracing the angles with her eyes.
'I want another baby, I know I wanted to wait…but if I wait too long…I might never get another chance.'
Her leg slipped over his waist, the rest on her body glided over him, his flesh feeling as natural to her as her own body. Her lips descended over his mouth, her tongue rousing him with its gentle strokes.
He responded to her touch almost immediately, so recently satisfied hunger already growling for more.
She'd knocked the condom box off the table when he'd reached for one, after he didn't question her about it. He could feel what it was she wanted from him.
He gave it freely.
When their bodies had exchanged all they could, she settled against him and fell into a deep and restful sleep.
…
The following morning, Buffy walked into the kitchen while paging through a catalog, "Who was on the phone?" She asked her husband casually, wondering if the office had called or maybe Dawn or Willow or Xander or Giles.
"Cassidy." Angel's reply was short and to the point.
His tone caught her attention and she lowered the magazine and looked at him.
He was sitting listlessly at the kitchen table, his shoulders slouched, eyes empty. His whole body screamed depressed brooding.
"Angel? What is it? What happened?" Buffy asked, forgetting the catalog and moving to sit by her husband.
"Nothing." He snapped, too quick and forced to be even remotely convincing.
Buffy didn't press, but kept her eyes on him, silently letting him know she wasn't leaving without an answer.
After what felt like forever, he took a deep breath and sighed it out.
"I'm sorry Buffy."
"About what?" She asked, needing more than an isolated apology from no where. "What did Cass say?"
His eyes dropped to the floor, looking like they meant to stay there all day.
She got off her chair and knelt at his knees, getting in his line of sight. "Angel, please don't pull away from me." She hated when he did that, retreated back into the shell he'd been living without for the last three years.
His eyes moved away a moment, then slowly met hers. "Cass said I'd have...side effects."
Her heart flip, flopped. "Side effects?" She asked nervously, "What kind of side effects?" Her mind ran off with her, thinking permanent numbness, nerve damage, breathing problems, heart problems, everything in the book flashed around inside.
His eyes drifted away again, "Infertility." The word came out like a death sentence.
Buffy felt something like relief mixed with a slap in the face. "Oh." She exhaled sadly.
He stood, faster than she thought possible, and made to move out of the kitchen.
"Angel don't" She called, rising and going after him.
He paused but didn't turn around.
"Don't." She repeated, grabbing his arm to keep him in place. "It doesn't matter."
"It does!" He fired back, louder than he'd intended.
They both winced at the fight brewing between them and paused to collect themselves.
This time, he spoke first. "I'm sorry Buffy..."
She wouldn't let him continue, "No, no apologies. You did nothing wrong."
"I know what you wanted last night, and now I know I can't give that to you." His eyes closed, pushing back a slew of emotions.
"You already did, twice." She stated, then moved forward to wrap her arms around him. At first he drew away, but she pulled harder until he relented and folded his arms around her in return.
"You wanted more." He replied sadly.
"I don't need more." She looked up at him and he slowly met her eyes, "I'm like my piece of cake just how it is now." She used his own cake analogy against him from their conversation last Valentine's day.
The corner of his lip twitched, she considered it a small victory but still had to keep focus to win the whole war. "All I ever wanted was you, Angel. Everything else, that's just frosting."
"You like the frosting best." He added dryly.
She slapped his arm, "Don't be a smart ass, I'm trying to tell you I love you no matter what."
"Sorry, go on." His smile was a little wider this time.
She shook her head at him, "I just did, but I guess I could stand to tell you again." This time, she stood on her tips toes and pressed her mouth firmly to his.
They both made pleasurable noises after a few moments of heated kissage, until oxygen became a factor.
As their lips parted, Buffy smiled up at him, "And this could be a good thing too."
He cocked an eyebrow at her, "How can infertility possibly be a good thing?" He asked doubtfully.
She smirked, "No need for condoms."
His frown turned upside down pretty quick, become almost predatory. "I might be able to live with that."
She pressed a little closer, moving her leg just enough to create a slight bit of friction against his groin.
A low growl of pleasure rumbled deep in his chest as he pressed back, giving as good as he got.
He leaned down, running his lips across her neck in a series of slow kisses.
She leaned back, giving his amble room, and sighed in contentment, her fingers gently brushing though his hair.
As Angel pressed himself closer to her, Buffy felt his growing arousal against her thigh. With a flirty smile on her lips, she breathed into his ear, "On the bright side, at least we know you're not impotent."
With a wolfish growl, he dragged her into the bathroom and pushed her against the door, proving to her how very true that statement was.
...
End…For now.