Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki; again, they wouldn't sell those characters to me. :sob: Anyway, ignore the tears of despair. This is just something that I really wanted to do, because I was watching the series and reading the manga, and I just really wanted to write a story! Damn it, I promised myself no more yaoi stories until after my other stories were done! Well, we can all see how that worked out. xp Whatever, read on, please. This is a GokuxHakkai story, just so you know. There's also going to be a little HomuraxGoku, but it's not the main pairing. One-sided, and all that. Oh, and I'm making Homura and his little enturage still alive, because I love them, and they deserve to live. So, when they show up, please don't be surprised.

Warning: This is yaoi. If you don't know what that means, it means that it's going to be a boyxboy story. There's going to be lemons in the later chapters, probably. Maybe. Um, swearing, mentions of rape, mpreg, violence, and humor. That's it! If it bothers you, then you'd better not read this.

What Dreams May Come

Chapter 2

Hakkai glanced up from packing away the extra food, what little was left that is, noticing the fierce scowl on Sanzo's face. Ten minutes had gone and went, along with another five, and still no sign, or sound, from Goku. He was getting worried.

"Gojyo, perhaps you should..." He began to suggest, but was cut off.

"No." Deadpan.

"You could at least let me finish my sentence."

Goyjo paused in lighting another cigarette. "Fine. What is it?"

Hakkai politely asked Hakuryu to transform, and placed the cooler in the back again. "I was going to suggest you go look for Goku; I'm starting to get worried."

"No." He repeated, once again deadpan.

Hakkai sighed and was about to force the issue when the previously silent Sanzo spoke.

"Hakkai. Look."

The Chi master turned in the direction the monk indicated, and gasped. There was Goku, a bandaged and passed out Goku, half carried by the youkai prince Kougaiji, who had an annoyed scowl on his face.

"Kougaiji! What are you doing here? And what's wrong with Goku?!" Hakkai asked worridly, hurrying foreword to take the Seiten Tasei.

"Ask him when he wakes up; it isn't my place to tell you. And I was just wandering through the forest when I came upon your little pet." Kougaiji turned away, prepared to disappear, when he suddenly turned back. "By the way, Yaone said to tell you to make sure Goku drinks a lot of liquid when he wakes up, but don't give him solid food until two days have passed. Don't ask me why." He said before the healer could speak, and vanished.

Hakkai sighed and handed the limp Goku to Gojyo, who appeared beside him, preparing to check the boy over for injuries. Sanzo stopped him though.

"Let's go. The quicker we get to the village, the quicker you can worry over the bakasaru. If something really happened, he'll sleep it off."

Hakkai didn't want to, but he nodded, helping the kappa place Goku in the back of Jeep. The boy whimpered slightly at the movement, but otherwise didn't wake. The healer gave him a serious frown but, seeing the others watching him, shrugged and got in. As Sanzo suggested, he'd worry about it later.

Inside Goku's Mind:

He was walking aimlessly, unsure of any direction he was going. Not that it really mattered; he wanted to get lost. He had nothing left inside him to make him care about the world around him.

At first, he hadn't understood where he was, how he got there, or why he wasn't leaving. But, after sitting and thinking for a while, he'd figured it out. His body was broken, something that had never happened before. But that wasn't the worst of it. His mind seemed to be in shambles, something else that he didn't think had ever happened. That's when he realized that he was inside his mind, escaping the world that had allowed such a horrendous act to be committed, and against him.

So, in a way, he was happy to be here, completely oblivious to the outside world. Of course, he didn't much like the company he was currently keeping.

The Seiten Taisei was walking next to him, clawed hands swinging by his sides as his golden eyes watched Goku's every move. He didn't wear the golden diadem Goku wore, but he did wear the same clothes. His brown hair hung down his back, long and wavin in a non-existant wind. He was Goku's other half, his demonic and blood-thirsty side. Surprisingly, though, here in his mind the Seiten Tasei was just like him; somewhat thoughtful, calm, and not wanting to tear him to shreds. It was odd, yes, but not unwelcome.

Neither of them spoke; they were content to walk along the forest path, wandering nowhere. Or, it seemed they were traveling nowhere. He was surprised when they arrived at a familiar place; a spot of rocks where the auras of the Earth gathered...His birthplace, Mt. Gogyou.

"What...? Why did you bring me here?" Goku broke the silence, backing away from the bars in the rocks covered in sutras.

The Seiten Taisei looked at him before sliding in between the bars, settling himself in a comfortable position on the ground. He patted the ground next to him, a sure signal he wanted Goku to sit next to him. Although he was wary of the place where he'd been imprisoned, Goku gulped down his fear and went to sit next to his other half. He was surprised a second time when his youkai began to speak, his voice low and gutteral, something he'd never heard before in his life.

"Shut up and listen to me. You've been slacking off in our body, and that's what allowed that to happen to you. And stop referring to me as "the Seiten Taisei." It's annoying. You can just call me, well, I'll let you think up a name. And don't choose Saru, because that's degrading." Well, apparently the Seiten Taisei was a little smarter than our Goku; he had a nice vocabulary.

"Oh. Um, well, how about "Go?" That way I won't confuse the two of us."

"Only you would get confused. Now be quiet. I've got something important to tell you."

Goku nodded, turning serious for once in his life as he awaited the newly named Go's explanation.

"Good. I'm only saying this once. You've been refraining from using your full senses and power, haven't you? And it's because you're afraid of me getting loose. You know, you could have just talked to me about that."

"Huh?" Goku asked, flinching when Go glared at him for the interruption. "Sorry."

"As I was saying, you could have just asked me about that. All you had to do was go see the Mercifull Goddess, Konzeon Bosatsu, and get a new limiter. She has the power to create one that can allow you access to all of my power and senses, but keep my insanity locked away. When you return, that will be the first thing you do." Go paused, allowing Goku time to absorb this information.

"...But, what about if I don't want to return?" Goku mumbled almost inaudibly, but Go still heard him. Snarling, the youkai lunched foreword, catching Goku unawares as he pinned him to the ground.

"What? Are you planning on turning coward and running away? You plan to just run away without enacting your revenge? I never would have thought you were so weak."

Goku turned his head away, his face burning. It was true; he was weak. He couldn't even stop those low-level youkai who'd attacked him. But would be the point of continuing living?

Go sighed; great, he really didn't want to have to do this. He wasn't good at pep talks, but he did want to keep living. Well, he might as well give it a try.

"Listen. It doesn't matter what happened; the past is the past, and doesn't need to be constantly remembered. Besides, would he want you dead? Not dead in body, but dead in spirit? Could you hurt him that way?"

Goku stilled, looking up at the face that mirrored his own, but with elongated pupils and fangs. Go was right, he realized with a start. No matter what had happened, he couldn't just leave the others. They might not care about him, but he sure cared about them, and he refused to leave them without what little protection he could offer.

It was kind of funny. With just a few sentences, Go managed to put it all back into perspective for him. I guess...he really isn't as bad as I thought he'd be. Goku thought, surpsied again. He nodded, and Go moved back, allowing him to sit up. Then he started speaking again.

"The second thing I wanted to tell you is even something you aren't going to want to hear, but you'll accept it. You don't know this, so I'm telling you; you are a hermaphrodite. You know what that means, right? You can be both male and female. You're always male, but you have...certain female parts."

Now, Goku may be slow, but he does get things. It only took him a few seconds to read between the lines, and his tan face drained of all color. Go nodded, not at all happy about this either.

"It's still too early to tell; we'll know in a few weeks. But beside that. I want to begin teaching you some things to better protect you in the future. We'll begin soon; that is, if you want to learn."

Goku took a while to think up his answer. On one hand, learning some new techniques would be very good, and he'd get stronger. But, then the others would begin wondering where he was learning all this. Wait, why should he care? He wanted to be able to protect himself.

"Yes, I want to learn what you can teach me."

Go smirked, leaning foreword. "Good. Let's begin."

"Sanzo, has he woken up yet?" Hakkai asked, opening the door where Goku and Sanzo were in the inn.

Sanzo turned from where he was staring out the window, a burning cigarette in between his fingers. "Does it look like he's woken up yet?" He asked pointedly, raising a blond eyebrow.

Hakkai looked over at the small youkai, his ever-present smile dimming a little. "You're right. I'm getting very worried; even if Goku was drugged, he shouldn't be asleep this long."

Sanzo shugged; he didn't really care. Just then, Gojyo walked in, carrying a brown bag from the store.

"The saru awake yet?" He asked, setting the bag on the table.

Hakkai shook his head, no longer smiling. He dug through the bag until he found a small cloth, which he dipped in some cold water before setting it on Goku's neck. The child was burning up; maybe this would help.

"Well, we might as well get some sleep while we're waiting for him to wake up." Gojyo suggested, settling himself down on the only other bed in the room.

"I suppose you're right. You go ahead and sleep, Gojyo. You too, Sanzo. I'll stay awake and watch Goku." Hakkai smiled again, but the others could tell it was fake.

Sanzo was about to say something when all heard the sound of something breaking. Three pairs of different colored eyes turned to stare at Goku; his limiter had just broken in half!

"Oh, shit." They all spoke in unison; Sanzo stepped foreword calmly.

But then something else happened. Goku seemed to become surrounded by a type of forcefield, one that wouldn't allow anyone near, not even Sanzo.

"What the hell?" He growled, dropping his cigarette.

"Oh, enough of the vulgarities. You're around a child." A mocking voice sounded; all turned to look at the window.

Standing there was a beautiful woman wearing skimpy clothing with long bluish hair. She was grinning.

"The Merciful Goddess!" Hakkai gasped; he remembered her from their last journey. She was quite an...eccentric goddess.

"It's been over four years, and you guys are still hopeless. Whatever will I do with you?" She laughed, stepping over to the glowing area around Goku. "Oh, dear. It seems as though...hm? What's that?" She raised a glowing hand to the forcefield, dissipitating it in a second. Then she leaned close to the still Goku, her ear over his mouth. "What did you say?"

"Um, what's she doing?" Gojyo asked, a confused look on his face.

Before Hakkai could answer, Konzeon straightened, a smile on her face.

"Wow; I never would have expected that. You've really grown up, Son Goku. I'm quite impressed." Holding her hands together, they glowed, forming a very thin silver tiara. (a/n: If you've ever seen The Lord of the Rings: the Return Of the King, it looks like Arwin's tiara, only a male like version.)

Still grinning happily, she placed the tiara on Goku's forehead, sliding it through his hair, which had returned to its original, youkai length. It didn't shorten; instead, it stayed the same length, as did his elongated fangs and claws. Then she turned to stare at the rest of the foursome, her gaze hard.

Hakkai was, of course, the first to speak. "What did you do?"

Her glare-like gaze didn't lesson when she answered. "I did what he asked of me. Ask him when he awakens what it is I did, if you want, but don't be surprised if he won't answer. And, in case you're worried, he'll be awake by morning."

"What was wrong with him?" Surprisingly, it was Sanzo who posed this question.

"Again, don't ask me that. Just know that what it was has scarred him for the rest of his eternal life. He isn't going to be the same cheerful saru you all know. But, don't worry about that. Just let him heal emotionally, and he'll return to you. Push him too much, and you'll lose him." And with that, she left them, just disappearing completely from view.

They stood there long after she left, each with their own thoughts. It was already turning dark before any of them finally moved. It was, again, Hakkai the first to speak.

"Why don't you both go get some rest? I'll sleep in here, for when Goku wakes up. He might need me for something."

Sanzo nodded. "No matter what, we're leaving after breakfeast tomorrow. Be ready then, and make sure he's ready then too."

Hakkai nodded. Gojyo didn't say anything; he just looked from Goku to Hakkai, before leaving the room with Sanzo.

The Chi master sighed; he guessed it was time to get some sleep too. Morning would come too soon for all of them.

Well, these chapters are longer than the chapters of my other stories. Whatever. What do you think of my little Go, who's not as insane as people depict him? I personally think he'll be fun to write. Well, I hope so. Anyway! Hopefully this'll lighten up. I think it will; no, I'm sure it will! And I can't wait for Homura to show up, which he will soon. Be ready for that! Remember! Reviews please, and lovely little flames are welcome to help me write better.

Ayame