Disclaimer: Once again, I don't own Saiyuki; those darn lawyers have officially said that it isn't going to ever be possible to own them! I cry. Anyway, it's finally time to update this! Yay! And guess what, there's finally an admission of feelings in this chapter! Of course, it's right after a huge horrorish scene. And, we finally find out why Homura did what he did. Oh yeah, I keep forgetting; I have no beta or Microsoft Word, so ignore any and all errors.

What Dreams May Come

Chapter 10

Previously:

Just then, Hakkai began to notice something else beneath his hands; it felt weird, like something was swiping back and forth beneath his palms. Then his chi picked up what was happening. Something sharp was tearing at Goku's stomach from the inside!

Not Previously Anymore:

Goku whined loudly, a loud keening sound escaping clenched teeth. He could barely breathe; there was a pressure on his lower back, his pelvic area, pushing downward. And that tearing, rending pain in his abdomen! He could barely stand it, and Hakkai couldn't seem to be able to do anything about it. "Hakkai!" He whined again, pitiously, claws tearing at the air.

Hakkai was working furiously, trying to stop the bleeding, to stop the tearing, to stop the birth, but it wasn't working. Nothing he was doing was working! This can't be happening! Why is this happening?! If this continues, he'll die!

"Hakkai, snap out of it!"

That was Sanzo's voice, harsh and demanding, forcing compliance. Hakkai's head jerked up; there were Sanzo and Yaone, both pale, watching him with worried looks. He shook his head; there wasn't anything he could do. Sanzo scowled, but his eyes were a different story. There was emotional pain in them, a pain he didn't want to feel. Hakkai watched as the holy man made his way over to the hot spring the chimp was in, laying a rough hand on the boy's sweating head. The man didn't even seem to notice him, with his eyes glazed over and opened painfully wide.

"What can I do, Hakkai?" Yaone asked, holding a hand against her mouth in pity or fear, he didn't know. She noticed Gojyo slipping out of the room, but didn't bother to stop him; if she could, she'd leave too.

"There isn't anything we can do, now. We can just make him comfortable. I can't even stop the pain he's feeling." Hakkai's voice was soft, and it broke during the middle of the sentence. He felt so helpless!

"Oh my God, Hakkai! What's happening to his stomach?!" Sanzo hissed, and Hakkai looked down, feeling horror at the sight that greeted him.

There was more blood, a lot more blood. And it was spilling from the ever growing horizontal gash on Goku's stomach, a gash that he now knew to be made from claws. He could see the claw slicing through the skin, and resisted the urge to gag.

"This...is horrible! It looks like...the babies are tearing themselves from his body." He whispered, feeling a burning behind his eyes. This was all going so wrong; it wasn't supposed to be like this! The gash was only growing bigger, longer, now actually revealing the way into Goku's stomach area. There was a tiny, clawed hand peaking out; it was kind of a freaky sight.

Then, realizing he no longer heard any sound, Hakkai looked up, and gasped. Goku's head had fallen back, his eyes open but completely blank and dull, his lips slightly parted for harsh pants. He was extremely pale, his looks almost ashen under that tan skin. This was only getting worse, but he figured he'd best make the most of what was given to him. Although, this would be hard.

"Sanzo, hold Goku's hands, tight. I don't want him moving at all. Yaone, I need clean blankets, lots of water. Warm water, preferably from these hot springs, but not this one." Everyone hurried to obey.

Breathing in deeply and exhaling loudly, he set to work. The baby had already torn open the stomach; he didn't have to do anything about that now. Instead, he gulped and, using his chi to sterilize his hands, he worked one hand into that gash, feeling around. It didn't take long; he just had to follow that one tiny hand still stick out. He worked his other hand inside, felt around until he grasped the infant's head and back, and drew it out, placing it in the warm, slightly damp towel Yaone held. He didn't bother looking at it, and instead went back into the body, feeling around for the other baby. It was up slightly higher than the first, and on the right, but was fairly easy to draw out. He gave it, too, to Yaone, and immediately placed his hands on the gash, drawing on his waning powers to heal the gash as fast and as correctly as he could. There wasn't much internal damage; he could heal it all. But the damage was done to Goku's mind, and he didn't know if the boy would gain back his mind.

"Hakkai? Is he going to be alright?" Sanzo whispered, almost spooned against Goku's prone body.

Hakkai wondered that as well, as he took the first, clean baby from Yaone. It was squalling loudly, fiercy, practically growling as its limbs moved slightly. A full head of dark brown hair, but since it was an infant, the color of the eyes, which hadn't opened yet, were unnoticable. It was a male, which tiny sharp claws, tiny fangs, and tan skin. And it was also clearly recognizable, even in this tiny form. Hakkai gulped, and showed the baby to Sanzo, who cursed.

"This is the other baby; it's a girl." Yaone came up and showed this baby to the two as well. Like her twin brother, this tiny girl had a full head of hair, although hers was dark, practically black, like her other parent's hair. She was completely calm, sleeping in the youkai's arms, unlike her brother, who seemed to be fighting being held.

Of course, there was a reason for that. It seemed that they were looking at a miniature Seiten Tasei, one who wasn't meant to be controlled. Goku had given birth to a creature that had been trapped inside him for centuries. For the first time in his life, Hakkai actually felt faint.

"Hakkai! You didn't answer me!" Sanzo was just as worried, if not more so, than his long-time friend. The other not speaking wasn't helping this any at all.

The chi master drew himself back with an effort, shaking his head. He looked down at Goku, but the youkai boy appeared to be sleeping now. He didn't look like he was in pain. "I honestly don't know, Sanzo. He's healed, but with this trauma, it's uncertain if he'll want to wake up or not. I suppose the only thing we can do is wait. Well, that and get him out of this water, dry, and dressed. And keep the babies quiet, so he gets a lot of sleep."

Sanzo nodded. It wasn't much, but it was all they could do at the moment. And dammit, he hated feeling useless! He clenched his teeth, easing both he and Goku from the water. The boy was so light, even though he was still full with fat left over from the babies. It was startling. And while he took care of his charge, the others took care of the cubs. And Gojyo finally came back to the room, once all the gore was gone.

A pulse of life from deep within a huge tower. Bicolored eyes, one a swirling pretty blue and the other a deep golden, opened lazily, and a head lifted off a palm to stare at the closed-eyed man in an odd off-white outfit. The sound of clanking chains echoed throughout the room.

"So, it's happened then?" Those bicolored eyes turned to look at the third person in the room with spiked orange hair, an eyepatch over one eye, and a gun over one shoulder.

The owner of those eyes nodded slowly, and spoke in a deep, almost amused (a/n: And totally sexy; you've got to admit that Jason Douglas has a totally sexy voice!) voice. "Yes, Zenon, it's finally begun. What I've waited so long for will start soon."

The man with the closed eyes spoke now, in a soft, whispered voice. "Would you care to explain exactly why you did this to the boy, Homura? I thought we were going to leave them alone."

The man on the throne, Homura, sighed. "I was. But I need something before we can fully rest. We need a child of the Seiten Tasei's for what happens next. But still, we have a few years yet before we can really do anything."

"Are you going to just let them be, then, while we wait?" Zenon asked roughly, a little annoyed.

Homura smirked. "Of course not. We're going to watch over them until that time comes, and protect them. I can't have my precious instruments, not to mention my child, die before I can use him, no can I?"

Two sets of sighs were heard. "Homura, you are one sick bastard, you know that?" Zenon spoke, shaking his head. The other man didn't speak.

"I know. That's why I need that child. How else will I live?" Homura questioned, but it was rhetorical.

"Can you survive until we can use it?"

Homura shrugged. "That's interminable, Shien. But I guess we'll find out soon, won't we?" He started to hum a song, a sad, maddening song that shouldn't be heard by anyone. But it was the perfect song for him. (a/n: Really, I've got the perfect song for him!)

"Sanzo, you're still awake?"

Sanzo looked up, surprised to see Hakkai walking into the extra room, now a nursery. The monk was holding the miniature Seiten Tasei, who seemed strangely calm in his hands, nuzzling into those cream robes. He shrugged, careful not to disturb the infant. "This guy kept me awake by crying. He does it anytime I put him down."

Hakkai nodded, and went to check on the other infant. It appears she was awake as well, moving her arms and legs restlessly. He sighed and bent over the bed to pick her up; she calmed almost instantly in his arms. He turned back to Sanzo, his smile only half-fake. "They don't have names yet. Shall we just call him 'boy' and her 'girl' until Goku wakes?" He deliberately used the word "until."

Sanzo shrugged, sucking on an unlit cigarette. He wouldn't risk Hakkai's wrath if the man caught him smoking around infants. "I guess. So, he hasn't woken up yet, then?"

Hakkai shook his head. "No. He's perfectly fine; even the inside of his stomach, where he was torn. Perhaps it's a side-effect of losing the Seiten Tasei?" He really didn't know anything about this, either.

"It doesn't matter, I guess. It probably won't matter, either, unless he doesn't wake up. But we'll find out eventually, won't we? An-ow!" He cursed loudly; the infant had bitten him!

"Oh, dear. He might be hungry; Yaone and I made a formula earlier for them, basing it off what normal youkai infants need. Here, take her, and I'll feed him." They exchanged infants, and Hakkai couldn't help it; he felt so good holding the baby. If only he were mine, than this would be perfect. If only they were mine. He thought sadly, rubbing the nipple of the bottle against the infant's lips. He eagerly accepting the foreign object, and greedily began sucking. Hakkai smiled, for real, and felt a weight on the back of his head. He turned, and found Sanzo looking at him. He was puzzled.

Sanzo suddenly stood, putting the girl back on the bed before making his way to the door. He stopped, though, once he was beside Hakkai, and spoke softly. "I would think, after today, you wouldn't be so hesitant to show your feelings." And then he was gone, leaving Hakkai sweating.

How is it that everyone knows?! It was a silent wail in his mind. Hakkai looked down at the feeding child, and smiled sadly, before it blossomed into a grin. Well, I suppose if everyone's telling me the same thing, then it's the right path to take! Isn't that right, little one? He ran a finger down that puffed cheek, and earned a soft growl. He chuckled. "Yes, that's right. It's finally time to tell your 'mother' how I feel; after, of course, he gets his strength back."

Well, you guys, here's the song Homura's humming: Seriously, it's pretty good for him! Of course, I haven't actually listened to it, only read the lyrics, but it sounded good! It's called People Hate Me, by Murderdolls.

I'm wretched, I'm infested, rejected and infected
I'm a loser, I'm a winner, a born-again sinner
Cut my throat and watch me bleed, addicted tragedy
And I hate you and you hate me
So stand in line motherfkers don't waste my time
-pre-chorus-
See me in the headlines
Manipulate your simple minds
So put your hands up and praise
I'm your god and you're my slave
-chorus-
And people hate me, cause I'm better than you
And people hate me
And that's the motherfuking truth
People hate me and you can all fuck off
I'm perfect, pissed off, beautiful, I'm god

I'm a hooker, I'm your priest
I'm you brand new disease
I'm Satan with distortion, your overdue abortion
And now I'm singing out of key, the god of your T.V.
And all you children will worship me
So give me drugs, your bitches, and your S.T.D's
-pre-chorus/chorus-
I'm wicked and addicted, middle-finger double-fisted
I'm neurotic drug-induced and chemically abused
Cut my throat and watch me bleed
Addicted tragedy
And I hate you and you hate me
Wipe the snot onto my sleeve
For I'm your new disease

See me in the headlines
Manipulate your simple minds
So put your hands up and praise, I'm your god...

I'm homicide on parade, a bloody nose, serenade
I'm a human hand grenade
I'll never rot and never go away
-chorus-

Hm, that was unexpected. Well, actually, I've had this scene, well, the birth, planned for many, many weeks now. Seriously, many weeks! Although, I'm still unclear what Homura's plan is, but it'll work itself out. And, Hakkai's finally going to admit his feelings! But will Goku accept him, or reject him? Will Goku even wake up?! Anyway, please review, and I'll try to get the next update up sooner! And really, no one bothered to tell me I got the names of Homura's minions wrong? Thanks a lot, guys.

Ayame