A/N: I don't own this, we all know who does. If I did, Rpattz would be going with me and my bestie to buy our Breaking Dawn tickets today! Yippee!

This is unbeta'd, so any and all mistakes belong to me. I'm in a hurry...I want that ticket! :D

This is for my wifey, Mrs. Robward. I love her...I wish she was going to Breaking Dawn with us, but no. She's going to a big ole fancy party with look-a-like's and everything. Lucky. :P

Thanks to Luxure & EdwardsBloodType for prereading this. I friended them both on my fancy new fanfic Facebook account I finally broke down and made. Ugh...one more complication in my life that I was trying to avoid. :D

**disclaimer **

This story is a bit taboo. But this chapter's not really. :)

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… Chapter Thirty Five - Fault … Bella …

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All the things you're saying, they're all good. Perfect. Exactly right.

Can they possibly be true?

Is there any way you could ever want me, need me, as much as I do you?

I'm still reeling over what your father did. Still ashamed that I ran from you, lied to you. Still afraid that you're angry with me, will take my Claire away.

She's all I have left. All I've had for the past six years.

Although now, you say I have you, too.

Do I?

Really?

I clench my eyes shut, hoping that when I open them, I'll see the truth in you. I'll see honesty, sincerity.

I need that. I won't survive it if you fill me with falsehoods only to break me down. I'm already broken. Can't you see that?

"Say something," you whisper in my ear, moving closer to me.

I can smell you. Your skin. It's like coming home after a long, exhausting trip. It's comfort, warmth.

I crave it.

But not now, not like this.

I lost everything for you. Do you know that? Does that factor into the things you say? Do you just feel sorry for me?

I don't know what to say.

"I don't know what to say," I tell you. Because I don't. There's nothing clear in my brain that needs to be told, be felt, be understood.

You sigh, leaning away from me, and instantly I regret it. I want you closer. So much closer.

My mind races, trying to figure out how to get you back, get you closer.

"I love you...so much. I risked everything to be with you, and I lost. All of it, everything. I can't ever get it back."

I know you, you're pulling away from me. I feel it. You're taking on all the blame.

It wasn't all your fault. I made decisions, I was an adult.

You were barely accountable for your choices, actions. You were young and innocent. I'm the deviant, the sinner, the cheat.

"Bella, I'm so sorry I put you through this. Not only did I cost you your entire life, but then I didn't even have enough faith in us to stick around."

I look up, seeing your green eyes swimming in tears.

"I did this. Yeah, I lost almost everything. But if I could do it over? If I could go back and change anything? I wouldn't. It was worth you. You were worth it. Even if what we had then is all we ever have, at least I can look at my daughter someday and tell her that I was truly loved. That I loved with my whole heart. That she's proof of that. At least I had you for a split second in time, and that's what will carry me through the rest of my days."

Your face is heaven, the way you're looking at me. I know without a doubt that the Ancient Greek would have carved statues to your beauty. I can feel it in my bones. You're everything good in the world, wrapped up in one package, and I wish I could keep you always.

But as the night continues and we get no where, I realize, I have to give you back.

We sit on the sofa, quiet, unspoken words beating us down.

I don't know how long I can do this. Be this close to you and hold back everything I want. The things I crave. It's not right to ask them of you, but your fingers rubbing over mine tells me that maybe you want them, too.

I want to ask. I lick my lips, turn my face toward you. Open my mouth to speak.

A squeak comes from a floorboard near by.

"Mommy?"

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A/N: You knew it was coming. :)

Sandy at Southern FanFiction Review wrote an incredible review for this story. It made me cry... :) Go check it out and leave her some love. She is always so supportive of me and other authors and stories. I love that. :) It's linked on my profile here so that you can see it. Easy access and all. :)

Reviews are better than being truly love. (Well, maybe not when it's Edward doing the loving... :D )

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