prompt : Ive spent the past few hours watching funny videos on youtube about wisdom theet and I started thinking about what could happen if Effie was the one who has to go to the dentist to get her theet out and Haymitch has to take care of her, would you mind writing a OS?

Sparkles & Twinkles

"I like sparkles." she mumbled as they were about to ascend the slope to the victors village. Haymitch had never been more relieved to get home. "Twinkle. Shine. Shimmer. Glitter."

"Yeah, I get it, sweetheart." he sighed tiredly, tightening his hold on her shoulders. "Bite on your cotton, you're not supposed to talk."

Haymitch had half a mind to go back and kill that stupid dentist. Effie had sported a toothache for the past three days and when he had finally convinced her to go seek medical help – a real feat in itself because she was terrified by the mere idea of sitting there defenseless while someone rummaged into her mouth – that stupid doctor had decided that the tooth had to be taken out. Now, Haymitch hadn't see anything wrong with that plan at the time, he had held Effie's hand like the good husband he usually wasn't and had laughed his full when the anesthesia had kicked in and she had started to say stupid things. His laugh had died down when she had failed to come down from her high and when the dentist had said everything was perfectly normal and she should sleep it off at home. The hospital wasn't far from their house – nothing was far in Twelve – but walking home with a drugged woman was definitely not funny. She had refused to be carried so they were walking very – very – slowly. He had made sure to keep an arm around her shoulders, just in case, and she had an arm wrapped around his waist. They looked perfectly ridiculous, he was sure.

"Do you like sparkles?" she asked, very seriously, even if her words were slurred. She couldn't really articulate with the cotton filling one of her cheek. "I'm sparkles. You like me. You like sparkles?"

"I love sparkles." Humoring her, he had come to learn, was the quicker way to get her to shut up. They were almost home, almost. He could see the rooftop of their house and he could even hear his geese honking in the distance. Almost, there, almost there… He would drop her on the couch, make sure she was comfortable and let her sleep until she was coherent again. He never thought he would have thought that but her drugged nonsense was getting old and he missed her usual prattle.

Of course, luck wasn't with Haymitch that day and they had to meet Katniss as she came back from a hunt and headed home herself.

"Katniss!" Effie called out in pure glee. She tried to grab her but Haymitch held her back.

"What happened to Effie?!" the girl exclaimed in concern. "Haymitch, what did you do?" She looked ready to use that bow of hers on him which, really, was unfair. Why did the kid always take her side every time something happened?

"The dentist happened to Effie." He said, in a bored voice. "Bloody fraud that man." He should have kept her until she was back to normal.

"Oh." Katniss winced.

"Haymitch loves sparkles. Sparkly, twinkly sparkles." Effie piped in helpfully, her head rolled on his shoulder and she started giggling madly as if it was the best joke in the world. Katniss joined in her hilarity easily enough.

"Having fun, sweetheart?" He glared at the girl but it only made her laugh harder. "She's drugged, what's your excuse?"

"You loving sparkles?" Katniss stuttered between chuckles.

"You can't be sparkles, Katniss." Effie scolded abruptly, with a frown, all trace of mirth gone from her face. "I'm sparkles, Haymitch loves me."

"Of course he does." Katniss readily agreed.

Haymitch rolled his eyes. "Bite on your cotton, sweetheart." How many times had he said that that day? And how many times had he gotten ignored?

"You can be velvet." Effie generously granted. "Velvet's soft but rough."

"Yeah, Katniss." Haymitch smirked, a lot more amused now that the joke wasn't on him anymore. "Be velvet."

"You don't like velvet you like sparkles." Effie reminded him, patting his cheek patronizingly. "You're twinkling too…"

Of course, Katniss didn't need much more to start laughing again like there would be no tomorrow.

"What are you all doing in the street?" Peeta's voice rang out suddenly from behind them. He must have been on his way back from the bakery because there was still flour in his hair.

"Nothing." Haymitch snapped. "Effie and I were going back home."

"No, no, no!" Effie protested.

"Yes, yes, yes." he grumbled.

At the same time, Katniss, who was still cackling with all her heart, clutched Peeta's arm and waved at Haymitch and Effie. "Haymitch broke Effie." she explained. "And now, she's sparkles and Haymitch isn't allowed to like anything but sparkles because he's twinkling."

Peeta's mouth twitched but, to his credit, the boy only eyed him with something akin to pity or sympathy. "Do you need help getting her to the house?"

"I can handle her." he said.

"I bet." Katniss grinned. "I think I'm going to call you Twinkle from now on."

"I think I'm going to kill you before too long." Haymitch retorted, just as Effie escaped from his arm.

She stumbled to Peeta who caught her before she could fall or hurt herself, she wasn't really steady on her feet. "I should teach you to model." she decided, absolutely not caring about whose arms she was in, now. If it hadn't been completely silly to be jealous of Peeta, Haymitch might have been a tad concerned. "Important skill to have."

Katniss was having a blast.

"Not sure it's very important for a baker." Peeta pointed out, kindly.

Effie considered the point and waved it away. "Nonsense." she slurred. "Haymitch makes me model lingerie for him all the time."

Katniss coughed and looked slightly ill. Peeta seemed distinctly embarrassed. Haymitch refused to mind. He was a man and she was hot.

"First, you have to pout like this." She gripped Peeta's face and pressed his cheeks so that he had no choice but to pluck his lips in a grotesque fashion that had nothing to do with the proper expression she was sporting – and Haymitch stopped minding her leaning on Peeta so heavily because better the boy than him for that sort of trick. She winced though and let go of his face to rub her own cheek. Good, Haymitch thought, he didn't want to see her in pain but if feelings were returning to her teeth then maybe she would recover soon. But not soon enough to save Peeta a crash course on modeling. "Then, you have to move your hips like you're walking on a straight line." She pushed away from the boy and strutted away.

"Careful, sweetheart!" Haymitch warned, catching up with her quickly and grabbing her arm to steady her before she fell and injured herself.

She wobbled slightly from right to left and then looked up at him with glassy eyes. "Haymitch, I don't feel well."

"Let's go home." he suggested. "You can teach the kids all about modeling later."

She nodded, pressing a hand against her cheek. "It hurts."

"I know." He let out a sigh. "Come on, don't be stubborn. Let me carry you. It will be quicker."

"You're sure I can't help?" Peeta offered.

"Go practice your walking." Haymitch shot back. It was no trouble to carry Effie, she weighed practically nothing and it was a lot quicker. By the time he put her on the couch, she was fast asleep.