prompt : I do really enjoy your written banter between the victors and Effie (I stuggle writing Finnick). Please could we have one when, after a run in with someone elses escort and some horror stories exchanged bout escorts and tributes , Haymitch (and maybe Chaff and Joanna too?) realises even though she can be a pain, Effie's not so bad afterall and is certainly the nicer of the escorts (maybe the others even get a teeny bit jealous of Haymitch? ) Thank you.
Of Victors and Escorts
Eleven's escort didn't look really impressed by what she found in the cell on the security floor of the Training Center. Well, they called that a cell but it didn't actually look the part in Haymitch's opinion. It was made for rich Capitol citizens who had drunk too much and needed a place to cool down before they could be sent home – or a place to put drunk victors who were very busy running havoc around the building. It looked like a waiting room to him. There were blue couches all around the place. The only thing that could recall a cell was the transparent force field that kept them locked in.
"You said it was important." Viola huffed, arms folded in front of her chest. "I left a party for this."
"It is damn important!" Chaff exclaimed, leaning against the force field. "We need you to sign us out."
Haymitch grunted for him to stop yelling and threw an arm over his eyes. He was sprawled on one of the couches and he couldn't care less about his escort's party. He had fallen from the high of alcohol hours ago and he was now sporting the headache to kill all headaches. He wanted to go back to the penthouse and sleep for three days straight, except the Peacekeepers didn't want to let them go until someone took responsibility for them. Johanna's escort, the only escort in the building when they had gotten arrested – and on retrospect it probably hadn't been such a great idea to start a fetch and catch game with that sponsor's wig – had laughed at her on the phone when she had tried to get her down there. Wiser from that experience, Chaff had called Viola and had lied through his teeth to get her back to the Training Center which had obviously not been the very best of ideas.
"And take responsibility for all of you sad people?" Viola chuckled. "I don't think so."
Haymitch heard Johanna's irate sigh and Finnick's miserable whine. He wasn't the only one suffering from alcohol after-effects.
"You're here now!" Chaff objected. "Come on, love, sign us out."
At Johanna's snickers Haymitch lifted his arm in time to see Eleven's victor giving his escort his best puppy eyes. Viola didn't even look close to being moved. "No."
"That's enough." Johanna got up and marched to the force field. "Get us out of here, you stupid bitch!" She slammed her fist against the force field for good measure, lucky for her it wasn't a strong one. More than one Peacekeeper frowned.
"Oh, really clever, Jo…" Finnick complained. "Insult the only woman who can get us out, go on."
They should have let Finnick convince her, Haymitch though, putting his arm over his eyes again to block the light. They weren't going out of there anytime soon.
"The stupid bitch is going back to her own party." Viola said coldly. "Have fun, Chaff."
There was more useless banging against the force field and a few chosen insults too and then the couch dipped next to his head.
"Escorts are the dumbest meaner bitches I've ever dealt with." Johanna grumbled. "I swear if I could I would strangle them all with my bare hands."
"Mine is the worst." Chaff sighed, from the other side of the room. Haymitch couldn't help a snort at that because he had heard absolutely all there was to say about Viola not only from Chaff and Seeder but from Effie too. His own escort hated Viola with a passion that only mirrored the loathing Viola felt for Effie.
"Do you want to bet?" Johanna replied. "The day of the Reaping my tribute said her parents were very poor and she wasn't used to seeing that much food." Typical comment from tributes, Haymitch thought, as sad as it was. "Well my fucking bitch of an escort told her that at least now her parents wouldn't have to worry about feeding her."
"Seriously?" Finnick asked, from where he was laying on another couch.
"Seriously." she confirmed.
"I'm not sure there's a connection between their brain and their mouth." Haymitch observed. "They babble and they babble nonstop… They don't even realize nobody's listening."
"You say they but you mean Effie." Finnick said. "She does talk an awful lot."
"Chatterbox." he confirmed. "It's like a bloody buzzing. All the time."
"Trinket's fucking annoying but at least she's polite about it." Chaff commented. "Mine is rude as a cow. She talks to me like I'm an idiot."
"That's because you are an idiot." Haymitch snorted.
"My escort isn't that bad." Finnick mused. "I practically never see her. When we're in the Capitol she's always at a party or another… She's… nice. In her way."
"She's head over heels for you, isn't she?" Johanna mocked. And she wasn't wrong.
"Maybe." Haymitch could hear the wolfish smile in Finnick's voice.
"You should call her so she can sign us out." he suggested, because it was all good and well to complain about their escorts but they needed one to get them out. "Bat your eyelashes, be pretty."
"Cause that's all I'm good for." Finnick retorted, annoyed. "Why don't you call Effie?"
"Yeah, call Trinket." Chaff added. "She signed us out before."
"I'm not calling Trinket." he refused, removing his arm to glare at his friends. "Get Finnick to call his escort."
"None of them will come, that's pointless." Johanna sighed, slumping further on the couch. It disturbed Haymitch's rest and he scrambled upright, accepting that he wasn't about to get any sleep stuck in that cell with those three. "Can't we call another victor?"
"Yeah? Who you wanna call?" Chaff laughed. "Brutus?"
"Enobaria." Haymitch laughed. "I'm sure she would jump at the chance to rescue us."
"I like Enobaria." Finnick said very seriously. "I should get the same teeth. It would improve my smile."
"Less joke, more action." Chaff requested. "Call Trinket. I want to get out of here."
"Why so sure she will move her ass to help?" Johanna asked dubiously. "She's probably having the time of her life at a stupid party."
"She is." Haymitch confirmed because even though he hadn't wanted to he had been lectured for three hours about how the party she was attending was important for her career – whatever that was – and how he wasn't supposed to bother her at all even if he was dying in a ditch somewhere.
"Who cares?" Chaff rolled his eyes. "You only have to whistle and she will come. She's worse than a dog."
Finnick bristled. "Come on, Chaff, don't be like that. She helped you out more than once."
"Don't make me kick your ass." Haymitch growled. He didn't mind people making fun of his escort when she was getting really annoying but there was a line victors knew not to cross. He didn't let anyone insult her or be mean for the sake of being mean. They were very welcome to take it out on their own escorts.
"Kick his ass because he compared your escort to a dog?" Johanna snorted. "You're not serious."
Johanna was still kind of new to the victors' side of things and already damaged beyond repairs. Haymitch wasn't actually sure of how she had managed to sneak her way into their small group of friends, Finnick's fault probably. He was adamant she was great and Haymitch tended to think she was, underneath her rough exterior, but Johanna could be really snarky and hated everything related to the Capitol. He had taken great pain to keep her as far away from Effie as he could.
"First rule in dealing with Haymitch…" Finnick was still sprawled on his couch but his head rolled to look at Johanna, a look of deep amusement on his face. "Never mess with Effie Trinket. Well, no… That's the second rule. First one is : always bring alcohol."
"I saw your escort." Johanna argued, turning toward him. "She's just as bitchy as the others."
"She never made a tribute cry. Viola always does." Chaff said softly and not looking anyone in the eye. He didn't like Effie much either, Haymitch knew, but he tolerated her for his sake. Plus, she came in handy when Eleven's escort didn't want to do her job properly.
"She can be bitchy." Haymitch agreed. "And she's a pain in the ass but she's mine to insult so keep your opinion to yourself."
Johanna didn't look convinced, she pinched her lips. "If she's so nice, why don't you call her?"
"Good point." Finnick said, sitting up too. "You never care about bothering her at a party before."
Haymitch didn't like being the center of attention. Every pair of eyes in the room was staring straight at him. " If I call her, she will have my balls on a plate." he finally confessed.
Chaff burst out laughing while Johanna lifted her eyebrows with a mocking expression on her face.
"I don't think she wants them on a plate, mate." Finnick chuckled. "Although… What do I know? Is Effie very kinky, Haymitch?"
"If I wasn't so drunk, I would hit you." he retorted. Finnick blew him a mocked kiss which only made Chaff laugh harder.
"Please, tell me you're not sleeping with a Capitol monkey." Johanna was a little green but he didn't know if it was from the abuse of liquor or plain disgust at the idea someone might voluntarily have sex with one of those parrots.
"He won't tell you scratch about Trinket." Chaff panted between two rounds of laughter. "Nobody knows what's going on with them. They're either fucking like rabbits or very stupid – I'm personally betting on the rabbits part. Either way, she fancies him so bad it's sickening."
Johanna did seem ready to thrown up now.
"You do realize I'm in the room, right?" Haymitch rolled his eyes. "I'm starting to wonder why you care so much about what I do and with whom. Sorry, Chaff, you're not my type."
"Too bad, Chaff." Finnick grinned. "His type is schedules-obsessed escorts with never-ending legs not one-hand old men."
Haymitch shook his head, longing for a glass of whiskey in which he could drown their stupid comments. "Joke all you want. You would swap your escort for mine in a heartbeat. You're just jealous."
"I am." Finnick admitted with a shrug. "Effie's nice, great looking and she can take a joke. The second my escort wants to leave I'm putting in a request for yours. I bet she would love a promotion." He would do it, Haymitch figured. Effie did most of his job as a mentor on top of her own, everybody knew that, she was efficient.
"You would be sick of her after two days." he said. "She will nag you senseless."
"Yeah, see… I don't think so." Finnick denied. "I actually do what I am supposed to. People love working with me."
"You're not taking Trinket." Chaff cut in. "I've been trying to push Viola out for years now. If anyone gets Trinket, it's us."
"Nobody is getting Trinket." Haymitch snapped. "Get your own damn escort and leave mine alone."
Johanna disbelieving whistle brought the conversation to a halt. "Wow." she sneered. "The bitch must be good. You're all ready to crawl at her feet so she can rub your bellies like good little dogs…"
"She would say you're rude and she would be right." Finnick stated.
"Don't call her a bitch." Haymitch warned her. "I don't like people insulting my friends."
"'Cause you're friends, now?" Johanna's laugh was bitter. "I can't believe you would do one of those sick twisted fuckers after what they did to your family. Does that mean anything to you? She's the one reaping your tributes' name… What? Does that turn you on?"
It probably was a good thing that Chaff had sobered up because if he hadn't grabbed Haymitch's arm and held him back, Haymitch would probably have done something he might have regretted. "Come on." Chaff mumbled, dragging him to the other side of the room while Finnick went to sit with Johanna. Haymitch couldn't hear what the hushed whispers were about but he had a pretty good idea. "You're good?" Chaff asked.
Haymitch stopped glaring at Seven's victor to look at his friend. Was he good? He was still drunk but in that unpleasant state where alcohol wasn't pleasurable anymore, he felt dizzy, his stomach was burning… And, above all that, he was mad. Johanna's comment had hit a nerve and he was mad. Drunk and mad weren't generally a good mix for him.
"No." he answered truthfully. "I'm calling Effie."
She would kill him and rage and make him pay for it but she would come if he asked nicely enough. Chaff simply nodded and banged on the glass to request a phone. One of the Peacekeepers – who were as eager to get rid of them as they were to get out of there – happily complied. Getting a hold on Effie was harder than he had thought it would. He had to speak to three different people before he finally heard her voice on the line.
"Effie." he breathed out, strangely relieved to hear her.
"Wait." she ordered. There was some clinking of glass, a muffled conversation, a door closing and then, the background noise of the party obviously raging around her entirely disappeared. "Alright, I can hear you now."
He opened and closed his mouth, trying to find the right words to make her come all the way across the Capitol. Johanna's sneer and Finnick and Chaff's expectant staring weren't helping. He turned his back to them and stared hard at the wall.
"You know how you said you didn't want to hear from me tonight?" he kept his voice light on purpose. "Well, I might have gotten into trouble, sweetheart."
"Yes, that tends to happen when you tear a poor innocent man's wig away and improvise a dodge ball game in the middle of the sponsors' lounge." Effie retorted, not without a bit of irony. "Be a dear and tell Finnick I expected more from him."
He froze, slightly taken aback. He hadn't thought the tale would have reached her yet. "Finnick's drunk." He denounced his friend without any ounce of guilt.
"Hey!" Finnick protested but he ignored him.
"As you are all, I don't doubt. You and Chaff are a very bad influence on the younger victors." He could feel her exasperation from miles away. "Why did you wait so long before calling me?"
"Because you said you would rip my head off if I spoiled your night out." He rolled his eyes. "I listen when you talk. Well… Sometimes."
"That doesn't mean you should call Viola first." she huffed.
"Chaff called Viola." he said defensively. "And she was her usual charming self, she let us to rot in here. Are you coming?"
"Am I leaving what might very well be this year most important party and driving across the city to get you and your three idiotic friends out of Peacekeepers' custody?" she deadpanned.
He couldn't suppress a smirk. He liked her sarcastic self even when it was at his expense. "I will make it up to you."
"Liar." she laughed.
"You're tipsy." He could tell even on the phone. "How much did you have to drink?" It wouldn't be really useful if she got there only to be thrown in the cell with them.
"Less than you." she replied. "I have a car waiting anyway. I'm not 'driving' driving."
Small mercies. "Alright."
"It's a good party, though, it's sad to go now." she sighed. "You're lucky I'm too drunk to be mad."
"I said I would make it up to you, didn't I?" He rolled his eyes.
Chaff cleared his throat louder than necessarily. "When you two lovebirds are done, you could tell us if Trinket's coming or not? 'Cause if she's not I think I'm ready to try Brutus."
"She's coming." he snapped, turning around. Johanna still looked disgusted, Finnick was grinning so hard it must have hurt and Chaff looked deeply amused. "Shut up." He was sure one of them was about to say something stupid.
"I will be there in half an hour." Effie said. "I'm not apologizing for you, none of you will get out of that cell without properly apologizing first to the Peacekeepers you, no doubt, annoyed to hell."
"Hurry up before I kill one of my cellmates, sweetheart." he begged, glaring at all of them in turns.
"Oh, is it that bad?" she sounded worried now.
He hesitated but in the end he only asked her to hurry again before giving the phone back to the Peacekeepers.
"See." Chaff snorted, after a few seconds of silence. "You only had to whistle." It was a joke but it fell flat. "Sorry, buddy." Chaff said sheepishly.
"Thank her and don't anger her tonight, that's all the sorry I need from you." he growled, glaring at the floor. The floor was safe. Johanna was staring at him and he didn't want their eyes to meet, he was afraid to lose his temper. Her remarks about his family… What happened to his family was an open secret. Every victor knew his life story, that was how they kept the new ones in line. Johanna was one to talk though… Her family was as dead as his was and because of her own actions too.
But she wasn't sleeping with the enemy.
Except Effie wasn't the enemy. She had proven that to him time and time again. She liked the glamorous part of her job but she had come to hate the Games as much as he did. She hated the Reapings, she hated knowing their tributes were a lost cause year after year, she hated when they had to watch them die, she hated what they did to the victors… She hated a lot of things and, in his eyes, that made up for the stuff she actually loved like the silly dresses and the stupid fans who wanted her picture on the streets. She liked the admiration, she wanted to feel loved. It wasn't real, though, and she was aware of it on some level but… that wasn't Haymitch's problem. Effie had always acted as friend with him. Sure, they bickered and screamed at each other until their throats were sore and infuriated the hell out of each other but when it counted, Effie had always been there for him – probably more than he had been there when she needed him. She wasn't the enemy.
The mood had shifted drastically in the cell. Finnick stretched back on one of the couches and tried to sleep the binge away, Chaff was staring off at nothing and Johanna looked sullen. Haymitch was yearning for a bottle of liquor – not one of the expensive bottle of whiskey waiting for him in the penthouse but the disgusting stuff from the Hob that tasted more like petrol than alcohol. He felt homesick all of a sudden. He hated the Games period. He hated the Capitol. And he hated…
The tell-tale clicking of heels on tiles alerted him to her arrival. He lifted his head in time to see her great the two remaining Peacekeepers by their names – it was probably telling that she knew them because of the number of times she had to get him, with or without Chaff, out of this very place. She was wearing a short sequined silver dress with a purple wig of small braids trimmed with silver ribbons that fell on one shoulder, her face was as ridiculous as usual, clad with white powder, metallic silver and some patches of purple that matched her dress and wig but made her look like a robot. She could be the poster child for Capitol fashion and yet he couldn't repress a shot of desire.
The dress clang to her body in all the right places and he knew what her face looked like under the make-up, he could easily disregard it. Johanna might have a point though. It was one thing to get lost in one of their fights and end up sharing a bed, it was one thing to get aroused by her naked not fashionable self but it was completely another to be attracted to an escort in full Capitol attire. What did that say about him he wondered.
When the force field finally lowered, he was the first out. "Mason is staying." he declared without another word of greeting. Effie frowned, either displeased at his lack of gratitude or at his abruptness about his fellow victor.
Johanna, who was already out of the cell, scowled. "Oh, really? You're going to leave me there because I…"
"Johanna is also coming with us." Effie told the Peacekeepers, unfazed by Haymitch's glare. "They won't cause anymore problems, I assure you."
She was quick to usher them all in the elevator. She had obviously sobered up on her way there, she was looking at them all curiously and Haymitch could tell she had picked up on the awkwardness. The pregnant silence was telling in any case. The fourth floor was the first stop and Finnick had never looked as relieved as he did when the doors opened.
"Thank you, Effie." The boy hugged Effie tight, probably to entice a remark of some sort from Haymitch.
"Don't thank me yet." she replied. "I'm saving my lecture for tomorrow."
Finnick rolled his eyes but kissed her cheek before stepping off the elevator. Johanna, Haymitch noticed, was now actively glaring at him and Effie in turns. Fortunately, it was only two floors before they could get rid of her. She did reluctantly mumble a thank you in Effie's direction but that was all they got from her.
"I will talk to her." Chaff offered as soon as it was just the three of them.
"What happened?" Effie asked with curiosity. "You were all such good friends until now…"
"Not your business, is it, Princess?" Haymitch snarled. She took a step back, startled by his hostility. He felt guilty. "Sorry, sweetheart." he sighed. "It wasn't a fun night."
"Look…" Chaff was clearly debating with himself if he wanted to wander into treacherous territory or not. "What she said about…" At Haymitch's glare, he quickly changed tracks. "I know I make fun of you about whoever gets a crush but, just so you know, I don't think any of what Johanna said. I don't think she gets it either. She's still… new. She doesn't know everyone yet."
Haymitch was so tensed he could feel a nervous tick in his eyelid. "She had no rights to even bring that on the table." he snarled.
"She shouldn't have." Chaff agreed, just as the elevator chimed to signal it had arrived at the eleventh floor. "Like I said, she's new and she's not very stable."
"I'm not very stable." Haymitch hissed through his teeth. "You're not very stable either, come to think of that. You don't say that shit to another victor, Chaff. Whatever helps you cope, isn't that right? You don't call people on that."
Alcohol wasn't his only crutch. Effie helped him cope. Effie could be a hurricane just like she could be soothing. He liked having her around, he liked being able to kiss her or make her moan his name with adoration. She wasn't the only one who wanted to feel loved. Perhaps that was fucked up. Perhaps being attracted to a Capitol woman was fucked up. Perhaps… But she was just as addictive as alcohol and he needed her, Capitol or not.
"Is this about me?" Effie asked softly. "I got the feeling Mason doesn't like me much."
His first instinctive response was to get annoyed at her for always thinking herself to be at the center of the universe but when he saw the distress written on her face he only shrugged and forced a casual smirk on his lips. "Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart." he teased. "I wouldn't get so angry over you."
She wasn't convinced, she looked at Chaff but Eleven's victor only shrugged. "Johanna doesn't know you're the best escort yet. Thanks for your help, love. Night, Haymitch."
It was probably the most amiable thing Chaff had ever told Effie and she watched him go with incredulity. "Was it that bad?" she asked once the elevator had started once again. "What did Mason say?"
He pinned her to the elevator wall and crashed his mouth on her purple silver-rimmed lips. It was either that or punch the metal and he was absolutely sure that would only end in a trip to the infirmary which he wanted to avoid at all costs. She kissed him back even though it wasn't a really good kiss to begin with. They were at their floor for some time when he finally leaned back, noticing with pleasure that most of her lipstick was gone – it probably meant he had some all over his face but that was a small price to pay. He cupped her cheek and kissed her again, more slowly. He could feel his anger melting away under her roaming hands.
"I'm sorry about your party." he mumbled against her lips, stroking her cheek with his thumb.
She wrapped a hand against his wrist and leaned back so she could look at him in the eyes. "You called two other escorts before you called me." she frowned. "Don't do that again."
"You said you didn't want me to bother you tonight." he rolled his eyes.
"And since when do you listen to me, Haymitch?" she sighed.
"Point taken, sweetheart." he conceded.
"You are my responsibility." she smiled softly. "I don't trust other escorts with you. Next time, call me even if you think I am going to murder you in your sleep afterwards."
There was a note of possessiveness in her voice he liked very much. He tugged on a sequin on her dress. "Murder me in my sleep would be much easier if you were in my bed…" He kissed that particular spot at the junction of her neck and her shoulder. "Don't you think?"
She tilted her head instinctively but she made a face. "I'm dead on my feet." she whined. "I had a bit too much to drink. I'm not feeling so hot."
"You're hot." he assured her. He kissed her neck and then her lips. "I'm not up to much either." he confessed. He was still feeling dizzy and his head was pounding. "I don't feel like sleeping alone." He didn't want to lie in a cold bed and wait for the nightmares to hunt him. He didn't want to wake up alone in the middle of the night, panting for a human comfort that wouldn't be forthcoming. "Stay with me?"
Effie frowned softly, lips pinched in displeasure. She brushed her fingertips against his jaw, nail scraping his stubble. "What did she say to upset you that much?"
"What does it matter?" he snorted. "You're going to head back down and kick her ass, sweetheart?" It was meant as teasing but her face was stern.
"I could." she scowled fiercely. "Nobody hurts my victor."
And that was why she was the best escort : she cared. He was lucky they assigned her to Twelve, as annoying as she could be sometimes.
"Yeah, well, nobody hurts my escort either so I think I'm going to keep you right here." He kissed her, enjoying the feel of her lips under his. "Effie…" he hesitated, finding the blue eyes that were always sparkling be it with anger or amusement. "Don't goad Mason. She has nothing to lose and that makes her dangerous. Stay away from her."
She nodded her understanding but he saw the question in her eyes : was he dangerous too? He didn't answer. He wasn't so sure he had nothing to lose anymore. He didn't want to lose her. Perhaps that made him even more dangerous. Perhaps keeping her safe was a more vicious motivator.