A/N: Long-ass chapter up a head. Seriously, pack a lunch. ;)

Thanks to Michelle Renker Rhodes for being so patient with my never-ending changes.

Most characters belong to S. Meyer

Chapter 12 – She's going on a what?

EPOV

"Aha! Here it is! Now, it's wine instead of champagne," she giggles, "and I know you're driving, but we'll just have a small, celebratory sip."

"Bella-"

She turns around and places the half-empty red wine bottle right in front of me and then turns back around, rummaging through her cabinets while I stare at the bottle.

"I hope you like this bottle. It has a nice, sweet taste that stays on your palate…"

"Actually, Bella, I don't drink."

"You don't?" she asks, cocking her head to the side.

"No. I'm a…recovering alcoholic. I've been sober for almost eight months now."

"Oh. Wow. What made you stop drinking?"

"Mel's parents, my brother and sister-in-law, they were killed by a drunk driver."

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry."

Her dark eyes fill with pain. She sets the wine goblets down, taking the few steps to me and straddling my lap so that her short dress rides up high over her honey thighs, and I can't resist them anymore. My rough hands stroke her smooth skin while she wraps her arms around my neck, chocolate eyes locking me in her bottomless gaze, beautiful breasts heaving against my chest. Eyes still on one another, I snake my hands around her hips, pulling her closer, so close that I feel the heat between her legs, right there. Our heated breaths mingle together, but then she slowly ghosts her mouth across my face, to my ear.

"I understand, Edward," she breathes. "Of course I understand. And it's okay. I'm here now, and everything's going to be-"

"Edward?"

I'm lying across my couch in that hazy in-between world of half-thoughts and strange dreams, not entirely awake. Yet my consciousness isn't drifting enough where I fail to hear my sister's voice - or where I can finally put an end to thoughts of the other night and the fucked up way I left things with Bella, yet again.

"Edward!"

"Yeah?" I respond drowsily.

"I was asking how the new set-up with Mel is going. Is it working out okay?" Rose whispers.

It's Sunday afternoon, and she and her kids have been here for a few hours. I wonder what the fuck Royce is doing while his family spends the day here without him. Sighing, I open my eyes and search for Mel, finding her in the kitchen and busy by the stove.

"Yeah. Yeah, it's working out fine."

"Are you sure? Because I can pick her up this week for you if you need me to."

"She's fine, Rose. Ask Mel yourself if you don't believe me."

"I did," Rose mutters. "She gave me the same vague answer you just gave me."

"What more do you want?"

"For starters, I'd just like some more info on this dance teacher. I want to make sure she's someone that my niece is safe with."

My impatience growing, I sit up straight and glare at Rose while she tries to feed little Leah, who has her tiny lips pressed tightly together.

"She's more than safe with Bella, Rose. She's teaching Mel a bunch of stuff: ballet, manners," I stress, my tone probably a bit rougher than I mean it to be because remembering Friday…fuck…remembering Friday is killing me.

The wine.

The fucking wine.

"She's friggin…" I jerk my chin towards the kitchen, "laughing again. Trust me. Mel is fine!"

"Alright, alright," Rose says defensively. "Calm down! I just wanted to make sure. You are going back to your AA meetings now that you've got that stuff done at work, right? Because you sure sound like you need to go."

Jesus, give me serenity fucking now with this woman.

"Yes, I'm going back. That was always the plan."

"Good because you need to keep up with those meetings. And make sure that from now on, Emmett knows that you need to make it out of work on time for those-"

"Rose, we aren't all used car salesmen like your husband." Her eyes flare, but just then, the doorbell rings. "And if you've got anything to tell Em, you can tell him yourself. He's coming over to watch the game." I get up and walk to the door, pulling my drill out of Seth's hands carefully as I go.

"Emmett's here? You should've told me he was coming over," Rose hisses.

When I look over at her, she's smoothing down her hair, wiping under and around her eyes, picking what looks like mashed peas off her shirt.

As un-fucking-believably annoying as she is, I can admit that my sister is…pretty; she's probably even beautiful, I suppose like our mother was...or is; whatever. She's tall with long, blond hair and blue eyes. Good skin, I guess. I mean, yeah, I'm her brother, but I can appreciate the fact that she's not bad to look at. The thing is, she always looks so…tired, so resigned, as if she's just…given up. Fucking Royce.

"That's right, you and Emmett dated for a while didn't you?" I nod musingly, vaguely recollecting their short-lived romance years ago. "So what's the deal, Big Sis? You still got a thing for Em?"

"No, you idiot!" she snaps. "But that doesn't mean I like looking like shit in front of him! And watch what you say in front of the kids," she whispers violently.

I chuckle quietly and unlatch the door when Emmett pounds on it.

"Don't worry, Sis," I whisper with a quick, conspiratorial wink, "you still look good. Em'll be sporting a tent with your name-"

"Ugh! Shut the hell up!" she whisper-screeches, and I snicker in satisfaction.

Emmett bounds in carrying a couple of liters of Coke and a box from White Castle.

"Who's ready for the game?" He holds up his offerings. "I've got dinner and dessert!"

I snort and move away to make room for him to pass.

"Oh, hey Rose, how've you been? I haven't seen you since…"

Emmett trails off, but we all remember the last time we were all together in a room, almost eight months ago.

"Hey, Emmett," Rose answers. "I've been good, thanks."

There's silence for a couple of seconds, but then Mel walks in from the kitchen carrying a big serving bowl.

"Dinner's ready!"

"When did you learn to cook?" Rose asks.

"Bella's been teaching me," Mel grins.

"Hah! She's cooking too!" I retort smugly, earning weird looks from both Rose and Emmett.

OOOOOOOOO

Carlisle hands me a cup of coffee, black and strong. We're in the middle of a break during Monday night's meeting.

"Glad you're back at the meetings, Edward. How's everything going?"

I lean forward in my metal fold-up chair, spreading my legs and resting my elbows over each as I take a burning sip of coffee, trying to organize all the shit in my head.

I haven't spoken to Bella since the royal fuckery that occurred Friday night at her place. So I never got around to telling her that I wouldn't actually be working late tonight – or for the rest of the week. I know I should have told her, but things had been going so well. We were talking, laughing, I was eating what was probably the most delicious homemade dinner of my life, and for once…for once I wasn't fucking things up with her. I wasn't putting my foot in my mouth. I felt calm; I felt relaxed. I felt like maybe…just maybe…

And then she pulled out the wine…and the words were right there...

"I don't drink."

"I can't drink."

"I'm an alcoholic."

"I'm the same kind of garbage that killed my brother and sister-in-law."

But the words never came; instead I found myself fucking things up…once again.

"Rose is getting on my nerves as usual," I say, because I'm not ready to talk about Bella. "She implies that I'm not doing what I need to do in regards to Mel and disguising it all as wanting to help."

"Perhaps she is trying to help, Edward," Carlisle offers, "but doesn't know exactly how."

"Yeah, I already told her that Mel's dance teacher, Bella, will be watching Mel after class until I can pick her up. She's great with her, and Mel's learning so much, and not just about dance. She cooked dinner last night! Anyway, back to Rose; sometimes it feels like she's just…trying to take over; like she's still bothered by the fact that they left Mel to me, not to her."

"Mm," Carlisle grunts. "Edward, your brother and his wife made their wishes perfectly clear, and it's up to Rosalie to accept that. You can't allow her issues with their decision to affect your outlook or reaction to that decision. Does that make sense?"

"I'm trying not to let it affect me; believe me, I'm trying."

"Well that's all we can do, Edward, is try, one day at a time."

I nod slowly, staring into my hot coffee as the steam swirls up in the air and into my nostrils. I take a few more sips, feeling it burn its way down my throat.

"And how's work? You were able to get that redo project completed, correct?"

"Yeah, and Bella watching Mel for me was a great help. - helped me focus on what I needed to do. She's just…anyway…yeah…work. There's this guy…one of the owners…" I sneer.

"What about him?"

"He's the reason we had to redo the piping, and then this week, he tried to get it switched back."

"And what happened with that?"

I glare down at my coffee cup. "Emmett got our head contractor involved, who arrived early the next day and spoke to the owners. A short while later we received instructions to proceed with the plans currently in place."

"Sounds like the head contractor has a solid head on his shoulders."

"Yeah. I haven't spoken directly to him because he deals with Emmett, but I guess he's a fair guy. Otherwise, I was a heartbeat away from beating the shit out of…" I shake my head.

"Edward," Carlisle says in a firm tone, "you know that there are plenty of reasons why taking matters into your own hands wouldn't have been a good idea, right?"

"I know," I mutter. "Because I need my job, and because for Mel's sake, I can't start trouble." And because I have no idea how Bella would react to my bashing in the guy's face. "I resisted the urge, Carlisle."

"I'm glad to see you did, Edward. That's a big step: learning to control our impulses, our urges."

I nod thoughtfully.

"I also take it you made amends with Mel's dance teacher. You've mentioned her…quite a bit in the past couple of weeks."

I draw in a deep breath and close my eyes for two seconds. "Yeah, I made amends."

"From what I'm hearing, it sounds like she's taken on an important role in Mel's life?"

"She has," I say quietly. "She's become…very important."

He's silent for a while.

"It sounds like she may be…important to you as well."

I don't answer right away, and then I snort. "But I know that the timing is wrong, and I know that I have absolutely nothing to offer her, and it's all just…" Angrily, I pitch the cup of coffee a few feet across and straight into the garbage, watching a few drops splatter over the rim. "It's fucked is what it is."

I feel Carlisle's eyes on me. "Edward, I concur that the timing may not be right, but as for what you have to offer her…I'm not sure if you mean materially or emotionally…"

"Both," I sneer.

"That may not always be the case with either of those things," he says. "As you've said yourself, things at work are changing, and as for what you have to offer emotionally, you've come a long way, Edward, in the past few months, even in the past few weeks. I think once you've gotten your head on straight, once you're at a place where you can stop and see yourself clearly, really see yourself, then you'll realize that you have more to give than you can imagine."

OOOOOOOOOO

I have no idea what to expect when I arrive at Bella's loft that evening. She'd have every right to have Mel waiting by the door and simply usher her out the second I ring the doorbell.

But she won't do that - not Bella.

So I'm momentarily relieved when the door opens, and I'm greeted with the smile that replays itself in my dreams every, single god damn night – until I realize that it's not exactly the same smile.

The smile in my dreams is warm and inviting, full of tenderness, full of life, and still somehow…sensuous. Though I know I don't deserve it, in the past couple of weeks, I've come to see it as a private smile – meant just for me.

This smile is cool and composed; it's how I imagine she smiles at every parent of every child who attends her dance school.

"Hey, Edward, come in."

"Thanks," I say, masking my mental uproar with my own serene smile while my heart races, and I follow her, noting the hoodie she's got wrapped tightly around herself, hiding her skin. It's…suffocating.

I stop to take off my boots the way I usually do.

"Would you like something to eat?" she offers, just as she always does.

"I'm okay, thanks."

"Alright," she says calmly, still smiling. "Mel's going to take some food home with her for lunch tomorrow, so I'll just send some extra in case you change your mind."

I hold her gaze, and for one moment, I want to drop to my knees in front of her, beg her to forgive me for being such an asshole, and plead for one of her real smiles…for anything.

But then I remind myself that this is for the best. This is exactly what I asked of her; to be Mel's teacher, her caretaker, her friend – and nothing more because the man deep inside, the one beneath the demons hidden in there knows that she deserves better. She deserves so much more.

Bella blinks and looks away, and I force myself to turn away too.

"Mel, are you ready?" She's up in the small loft where she seems to enjoy spending time.

"Coming, Uncle Ed!"

While she gathers her stuff together, Bella and I stand silently and awkwardly side-by-side. And when Mel finally comes down, she gives Bella a hug, thanks her for everything and walks to the door.

I rake a hand through my hair. "Alright, well, thanks for watching her."

"My pleasure," she smiles.

"I guess I'll see you Wednesday."

"Alright, Edward."

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

OOOOOOOOOO

Late Wednesday afternoon while I'm in the middle of sawing up two-by-fours, my phone starts vibrating. I suck my teeth in frustration, but it might be from Mel…or Bella, though I really don't expect it to be her, so when I quickly pull the phone out and see that it is indeed Bella, I breathe out a low oath because I'm not sure what to think.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Edward. Sorry to bother you at work." Before I can say anything, she launches right in. "Your sister, Rosalie, is here to take Mel home after class. I told her I needed to speak with you first."

"What?"

"Edward, in the future, please let me know when you're going to have someone pick up Mel early. It's difficult to-"

"Bella, I haven't asked my sister to pick Mel up!"

"So you didn't send her?" she asks coolly.

"No!"

Bella is silent for a few seconds. "I thought…well because of how things-" - she sighs - "Alright, then. What would you like me to do?" she asks, her voice calm and professional. "Would you like to speak with your sister?"

"Yes, please," I snarl through clenched teeth, raking a hand full of sawdust through my hair.

"Alright, hold on."

The next thing I hear is Rose's voice on the line. "Yeah?"

"What the hell are you doing there?" I growl.

"I just wanted to check things out for myself," Rose whispers back defensively.

"Well, you've checked it out. Now you need to leave. Mel is fine with Bella. I told you that."

"I figured since I was already here, I might as well take Mel home and save you the trip."

"Rose!" I close my eyes and attempt to steady my breathing. "Rose, get this through your thick head. I am responsible for Mel, alright? I'm sorry if you're having a hard time accepting that, but it's how it is. Now Bella and I have already worked out Mel's schedule. It's set. She's exactly where she's supposed to be right now."

"I was just trying to help!"

"And I appreciate it," I grit. "But you're interfering in a routine that Bella and I have already established for Melody, and in the process making Bella's job more difficult. Now when I'm ready, I'll pick Mel up. Like I said, Bella and I have worked it out."

She's silent for a few seconds, and then says, "Fine, I'll go home."

"Drive carefully."

"Goodbye, Edward!"

"Goodbye Rose."

OOOOOOOOOO

After that, there's a gnawing sensation in the pit of my stomach that only intensifies as the hours pass. Throughout my meeting, I tell myself, I remind myself that this is all for the best, that Bella isn't meant for me. That someone so perfect could never be a reward for a drunken asshole like me.

Yet despite the constant reminders, standing outside her door every other night, waiting for her to open is the highlight of my evening.

Bella greets me much the same way she did on Monday: full of friendly smiles because she's sunshine personified mixed in with those roses I bought her yet a thousand times better. She's honey and wine.

She's life personified.

So she smiles at me and offers me dinner, and when I turn it down, she says she's packed some extra – just in case. And while Mel gets her stuff together up in the small loft, we both turn towards each other at the same time.

"Look, Bella, I just wanted to-"

"Edward, I wanted to-"

"I'm sorry; go ahead," I say.

"I just wanted to ask you if Mel is still going to be staying with me after classes."

"Of course she is." I frown. "I mean, if it's still okay with you."

"Of course it's okay with me," she says quickly. "It's more than okay. It's just that after this afternoon, I wasn't sure."

"Look," I breathe, "I had no idea my sister was going to show up today. I never asked her to do so."

"It's no problem," she shakes her head vehemently. "I just wanted to double check."

And then she turns those beautifully dark eyes away from me once more, and I know I should let her avoid my gaze. I really should. If I wasn't such a selfish bastard...

But I am, so I cock my head sideways and force myself into her field of vision, yet when she looks my way, the dark, bottomless eyes that were so open and becoming so familiar are now strangely guarded.

"We've still got an agreement, right?" I ask.

"Yeah," she smiles faintly. "We have an agreement; though, I wanted to talk to you about Friday."

"What about Friday?"

"Well, I've got…plans for Friday, so I won't be able to bring Mel home with me. But I've spoken to Angie," she says reassuringly, "and Mel can stay with her after class, until you can pick her up. Okay?"

"Uh…" I take a deep breath and release it slowly, that nauseous sensation in the pit of my stomach returning. "Actually, I have to pick Mel up early on Friday because she's going with her grandparents for the weekend. I think I mentioned that to you once."

"Yeah, you did," she nods. "Okay, then. It should work out well."

"Alright. Thanks for making those arrangements."

"Of course. I would never leave you or Mel up in the air, Edward. I hope you know that by now."

And finally, there's that voice - that sweet, tender voice. Her eyes soften too, and for one split second, I can see into them so deeply; it's as if I'm drowning inside her.

"I'm ready," Mel says, suddenly before us.

Bella blinks and turns away from me. "Alright, Mel, I'll see you Friday, okay?"

Mel nods and smiles, but she seems a bit withdrawn as she walks away.

"Alright, well, thanks again," I say.

"No problem," Bella smiles.

OOOOOOOOOO

Bella's words, her guarded expressions, her cool smiles all replay in an endless loop on the ride home. My head pounds; I need a smoke bad, but Mel's in the car.

"I've got plans for Friday…"

This is what I wanted, isn't it? This is basically what I told her on Friday. We need to keep things the way they are; she's Mel's dance teacher, and she helps me out of the kindness of her heart. That's it. I've got nothing else to offer her.

"I've got plans for Friday…"

"Uncle Ed, are you in love with Bella?"

I swerve quickly to avoid side swiping the black sedan to my right. Once I've got the truck under control, I glance over at Mel – who's openly smirking at me.

"I guess that answers that question."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I mutter.

"Oh please! I'm not blind or stupid, Uncle Edward! I see the way you look at her, and I see the way she looks at you!"

"Mel, I'm not discussing this with a twelve-year-"

"I'm almost thirteen!"

"Whatever, I'm not discussing this with you."

"Why not?" she huffs, and out of the corner of one eye, I see her crossing her arms against her chest. "You are, aren't you?"

I don't answer her.

"She's got a date for Friday you know."

I suck in a sharp breath of air, unable to hold back the harsh "FUCK!" that escapes this time, all while quickly breaking to avoid rear-ending the U-Haul truck in front of us.

"Damn it, Mel!"

"Sorry! But what do you care if you don't love her? Uncle Ed, you've seriously gotta step up your game here! You can't let her go on-"

"Mel!" I try desperately to reign in the sudden fury, the frenzy threatening to undo me while blood pounds wildly between my ears. A date.

A date.

I guess I figured that much, but…

A fucking date.

"First of all, love is a very strong word, Mel, so stop throwing it around that way. Second, it's not as easy as stepping up my game," I say through clenched teeth. "You want to be spoken to like an adult, fine. You know better than most how complicated things are for me…for us right now. Miss Bella- Bella is doing us a huge favor, and there's no point in my complicating things even further for her. Besides, let's say for argument's sake that I did have certain…feelings, and let's say that she had some sort of feelings as well, and let's say we acted on those possible feelings and things didn't work out. Where would that leave you?" I glance over at her for two seconds, and her blue eyes meet mine.

She glares down at her lap, and I move my eyes back to the windshield.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," she mutters after a while and then turns her head to stare out of the passenger side window.

And for the rest of the drive home, I simply try to breathe.

OOOOOOOOOO

She's standing at the foot of my bed, dressed in one of her leotards, her dark hair loose and flowing around her shoulders.

"I'm an alcoholic. That's why I didn't have the wine. That's why I left. I should've told you."

"It's okay," she smiles softly, climbing onto my bed and slowly peeling the leotard off and down her honey-toned shoulders. "I don't care, Edward. I'm here. I don't care…"

OOOOOOOOOO

Friday morning, Mel and I have one of the roughest mornings we've had in a while.

She burns the toast, so I yell at her because the entire fucking apartment smells like burned fucking bread now and it's making my stomach roll. I can't find my damn cigarettes and I'm anxious as hell to get out of the apartment to go buy a pack, but when Mel steps out of the bathroom, she's got black shit all over her eyes again, and instead of just going to wash it off when I tell her too, she starts with the back talk.

"But Bella said it's okay if I wear a little mascara, as long as I don't overpower it with anything else. And Aunt Rose said she was right-"

"First of all, that's not a little, that's a whole goddamn lot, and besides, I don't give a rat's ass what makeup advice Bella and Rose gave you," I hiss, pointing a finger towards the bathroom. "They're not the ones responsible for you, I am, so go. wash. that garbage. off."

Mel glares up at me. "You've been in such a craptastic mood for the past couple of days!" she yells.

"Go!"

With a scowl but no further retorts, she marches into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her.

While we're storming out of the apartment and Mel's muttering that she's glad she doesn't have to spend the weekend with me, we bump into Heidi, and she invites me out for the night. I basically tell her to fuck off, but when I get downstairs to my truck, I've got a fucking parking ticket because apparently, I've fucking forgotten how to read parking signs in the past twenty-four hours.

Then Aro Volt, the Brandon's lawyer calls me with his monthly message, reminding me that the car will be outside waiting for Mel at seven thirty, and I curse him out for bothering me with the same shit month after month before hanging up on him.

OOOOOOOOOO

"Hey, Papi Chulo!" Angie calls out when I walk into the studio after work that evening to pick up Mel. "Been a while. Where you been hiding?"

"I haven't been hiding anywhere. Been busy," I mutter.

"Ah, I see," she says with a raised brow. "Busy and still as friendly as ever it seems."

"Where's Mel?"

Angie jerks her chin up to the wall of TVs. Mel is on one of the screens, in the same studio where she and Bella were last time; only this time, my niece is by herself.

"I was keeping her company, but I'm afraid I'm not as much fun as Bellita. When she watches Bella dance she's like "Oooh! Aaahh!", when she watches me dance, she's like "Wah, wah wahh." Her body sags slowly over the counter like a cartoon.

And despite the constant headache I've had for the past couple of days, I can't help chuckling. "You're a fucking nut. You know that?"

"Yeah, yeah, so I get told pretty often," she rolls her eyes, waving off my comment. "But you know, Papi, I like keeping it real."

"Keeping it real is always good."

"Hm," she grunts, lifting her brow pointedly. "Anyway, let me get Mellie Mel for you."

She walks to the studio door and call in, "Mellita, your Uncle's here!" And then she walks back behind the counter. "She's all set for you, Papi. Bella left specific instructions for me to feed her, care for her, and keep her safe and warm," she grins.

I clear my throat. "Uhm…well thanks for all that. And please give Bella my thanks as well."

"Oh no, Papito," she laughs, leaning over the counter, "you got anything to say to Bella, you tell her yourself. I've heard about the convos between the both of you. Just a simple thanks turns into something fierce! Man, if my man and I were to fuck with as much passion as you two argue, we'd be golden!"

I rake a hand through my hair. "She's told you about our…arguments."

"'Course she has! She's my girl! You hurt her feelings, Papito, just so you'll know," she says, both brows raised high this time while she slides her right forefinger over her left forefinger in a shame, shame gesture.

"Ah damn…I…I never meant to hurt her feelings."

"Like I said," she says, shaking her head and holding my gaze, "you got something to tell her, you gotta tell her yourself."

"Well, I can't really tell her anything tonight, can I?" I say, nostrils flaring. "She's on a date."

Angie studies me carefully, a strange smile plastered on her face.

"Yup," she says, popping her 'P.' "That she is. Isabella Maria Swan is on a date," she echoes almost tauntingly.

Just then, Mel steps out of the Studio room, and I draw in a deep breath, trying to focus on the here and now.

"You ready to go?"

"Yup."

So we turn to leave, and I should leave. I should just leave.

I should just fucking leave.

"Do me a favor," I tell Mel when we're at the door, "wait for me in the truck."

"Why?" she asks suspiciously.

"Just go."

She's got this slow grin thing going on, and yeah, thirteen now isn't the same as thirteen then.

"Go!" I snap.

"Okay, okay!" And then she giggles and I watch her run across the street, open the back door to the truck, toss in her bag and then get in the front.

When I turn back to Angie, she's watching me with an amused expression. "Que pasa, Papi? You need something?"

OOOOOOOOOO

Forty-five minutes later, Mel and I are outside our apartment building, leaning up against the truck and waiting when the long, black town car rounds the corner and comes to a stop right in front of us.

"Alright, Mel. Have a good weekend. I'll see you Sunday night."

She bites her lip. "Uncle Ed-"

"Mel..."

"Alright, alright!" she huffs. "I'm a kid; I get it, but…when I'm dancing…when I'm with Bella…"- her lip trembles – "it doesn't hurt so much."

I pull her into my arms and hold her tight before kissing her forehead. "Go on," I urge her gently. "They're waiting."

She nods and heaves her backpack over her shoulder before turning around. And when the driver opens the door for her, she gives me one last wave.

I wave back and then watch the town car turn the corner again before walking back into the building.

OOOOOOOOOO

It takes twenty minutes under the shower head to scrub all the dirt off of myself. I pick up the small brush and scour my nail beds until they're as clean as I can get them. Then I shampoo my hair twice, washing away every last bit of dirt and debris.

With a towel wrapped around my hips, I stand in front of the small, bathroom mirror and run the razor along my face and jaw.

Scrubbing a hand down my smooth face, I stare into my closet. There's not much to pick from other than work clothes, sweats, a few pairs of slacks and button down shirts. I reach for a pair of black dress slacks…but then remember the last time I wore them.

So I end up with the navy blue pair of slacks, a blue and red plaid button down collar shirt, and the grey, V-neck sweater Alice gave me last Christmas. I roll up the cuffs over the sweater and my forearms, and then slide my feet into my one and only pair of Oxfords. When I look in the mirror, I barely recognize myself because it's been…a while. I pick up the comb…but then end up using my fingers to brush back my hair impatiently because what I could really use right now is a good, stiff-

No.

No, that's not what I can use right now. What I can use right now is much softer, has the most gorgeous smile in the world, and is having dinner with the wrong guy.

With a few deep breaths, I grab the truck keys, my short, black leather jacket and step out.

For her, I'll shove the fucking demons down; so far down that they'll never show their faces again, never be a threat to her.

For her, I'll learn to be patient, to believe Carlisle's words when he says that eventually, I'll be there.

For Bella, I'll work day and night to be the best man that I can be.

Because I can't- I won't deny it anymore.

I want her with ever fiber of my being. I want every part of her.

And if she wants me, I'm hers.

A/N: Thoughts?

See you all Thursday to see what Edward has up his sleeve!

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