Prompt : (Got this of the hayffie tag& wanted to see how you would write it:)) Hayffie discovering celebrity fan fiction of them written by Capitol citizens ;)

Hi! Just a little precision, from today and for six day I will be publishing a separate story (called "Quite a Stretch" ) a chapter a day which means there won't be any prompt update for the time being. The story will obviously be Hayffie so if you want to check it out :p

Also WARNING for bad smut (in here not in the upcoming story). Thank you for the prompts, it as hilarious to write ^^

Reading Fanfictions

Effie was just sitting back down after refilling her glass of wine when Finnick and Johanna finally arrived in the penthouse living-room, arms full of magazines.

"You're late." Chaff greeted them, slumped on his chair, eyes glassy from too much drinking. Haymitch wasn't faring much better.

"As long as there's still something to drink…" Johanna shrugged, dumping the magazines on the coffee table and stealing Effie's glass without any ceremony.

"Have you ever heard of something called good manners?" she clucked her tongue disapprovingly.

The youngest victor wasn't disturbed in the slightest by the rebuff, she simply flopped on the couch next to the escort and downed the glass in three long mouthfuls before handing it to Finnick who had been slower in getting rid of the papers.

"What's all this?" Haymitch asked, gesturing to the mess they had just made of the coffee table.

"My new favorite Capitol thing." Finnick joked, pouring liquor in glasses and handing them around to Johanna and Effie, he kept one for himself. "Fanfictions."

"Oh, please…" Effie huffed, rolling her eyes. She looked at the impressive pile of fanzines with growing concerns. "Did you have to buy that?"

"What's that?" Haymitch frowned.

"The most amazing thing." Johanna snorted. "People make up stories about us. Porn, mostly. There are all the pairings you can imagine. Johnick is very popular."

She held out her hand and Finnick high-fived her with a wolfish grin.

"We have sex in every possible position." the young man laughed. "I'm a favorite in those fanzines."

"It's tacky, vulgar and absolutely ridiculous." Effie judged, shaking her head.

"Have you read some?" Johanna's nasty mocking smile wasn't a good sign, Effie knew. "'Cause you star in a lot of them too, Trinket."

"Oh, yeah…" Finnick agreed. "I found some about us that were very hot but, unfortunately, I'm not your main partner..."

The younger victors' eyes were twinkling in mischief and Effie sipped a long mouthful of wine to avoid answering. She was very well aware of what people were saying about her and with who some of her fans wanted her to end up with.

"This is ridiculous." she said at last. "I don't keep up with the latest trend."

"It's Haymitch, isn't it?" Chaff's laughter sounded like a bark. "Let me see…"

"What?" Haymitch frowned grabbing one of the magazine just as Chaff reached for another one. Eleven's victor dissolved in hysterical hiccups soon enough but Haymitch's eyes only grew wide. "Are they serious?" He looked at Effie with a dubious evaluative look. "I'm not even sure this is physically possible."

She tore the fanzine from his hands and read the page he was looking at quickly, her cheeks flushing red. "It's not."

"Sure, it is." Johanna disagreed, reading over her shoulder. "Not very comfortable though."

Both Effie and Haymitch raised their eyebrows at her but she simply shrugged.

"Why, Haymitch, you never told me you were into this kind of things…" Chaff said suddenly, between two chuckles. "'You've been a very naughty boy', the escort said between two slaps. Haymitch, bent over her knees, could only gasp in response as she spanked him some more. She could feel his…"

He couldn't keep reading, dissolving into laughter once more. All the better, Effie was mortified enough as it was.

"Tacky and badly written." she repeated.

"This one is the best." Finnick declared, holding out another fanzine. "Effie stared at Haymitch's half-erected member with wide eyes. Her mouth opened in a silent gasp that gave some kinky ideas to Haymitch. 'It's so big', she whispered with awe."

"Could we not read this?" she clucked her tongue. "It's embarrassing!"

"I like this one." Haymitch snorted.

"Well. At least we know he didn't sleep with the writer or they would know better." Effie muttered in annoyance.

"And how would you know that?" Johanna mocked.

Effie didn't gratify that with an answer and neither did Haymitch. Chaff was too busy choking on his scotch from laughing to hear.

Finnick continued reading as if nothing had happened. "'Haymitch, I need to tell you…" she whispered, as he kissed his way down her neck. She yelped when he tore her clothes, a shiver of fear and pleasure making her body shudder. 'Anything, baby.'"

"Baby?" Haymitch chuckled. "Does she emasculate him in the next paragraph?"

"I will emasculate all of you right now if you keep on reading those horrifying stories." Effie threatened.

"But the good stuff is coming." Finnick grinned. "Here. Effie contemplated his shaft that was hard as marble but hot as a burning volcano by now…"

Tears of laughter were running down Chaff's cheeks. "That must hurt."

Johanna, who wasn't faring much better, almost slumped on the armrest. "'Hard as marble and hot as a burning volcano'… How lucky you are, Trinket."

"Please, I know it's a difficult concept for you to grasp but there is a difference between reality and poorly written fictions." Effie shook her head and tried to nudge Haymitch. "Stop them. Aren't you embarrassed?"

But her victor was shaking from laughter too and he didn't look embarrassed in the slightest.

"It's funny you should say that…" Finnick's amused smile was a bad omen she knew. "'Haymitch, I…" Effie couldn't bring herself to say it. 'You can tell me anything, Effie. I love you.' 'You love me?' 'Yes. Yes, I love you. Marry me.'"

"Weren't they having sex two seconds ago?" Chaff snorted. He tapped his lump on Haymitch's shoulder. "Can I be best man?"

"Sure." Haymitch shrugged, his grey eyes twinkling with amusement. "And Jo can be maid of honor."

"What about me?" Finnick faked a pout.

"You can play the bride." Effie snapped, folding her arms over her chest.

"Ah, sorry, Effie, I'm not sure I like that pairing." Four's victor grinned. "But there are some with Chaff or Jo, if you'd rather…"

"Thank you, no." Effie winced. As embarrassing as hearing those things was, she didn't think she could stand a detailed description of sexual encounters between Haymitch and his other friends.

"Yeah, no." Haymitch mumbled. "I have nightmares enough as it is."

"Fuck you." Johanna sneered. "I will have you know my fanfiction sex skills are awesome. And my real ones too, by the way. I could make you and your fictional self scream in pleasure."

"There is something like oversharing, you know." Effie pointed out, tapping her nail against the rim of the glass.

That went completely ignored.

"You're the one who's missing out on the 'hard as marble, hot as a volcano' thing, sweetheart." Haymitch replied.

"Go on." Chaff urged Finnick. "How does it end?"

"Effie was stunned but delighted and she threw her arms around Haymitch. His erection poked her in the stomach but she forgot to be scared." Finnick started again, almost stuttering from his suppressed laughter.

"Marble and volcano, she's right to be scared." Johanna snorted.

Effie didn't even find the strength to protest any longer. Her glass was empty, she stole Haymitch's without the slightest tinge of guilt and downed the whiskey. He looked at her, obviously amused, but didn't comment, simply bringing the bottle straight to his lips instead. She handed out the glass so he would refill it. She sensed she would need it because Finnick was still reading.

"'Yes!' she screamed 'Yes, I will marry you! I will go and live in Twelve with you! We will live a simple life and I will go to the market everyday!'" Finnick tried to mimic her voice and it was even worse. Effie drank more whiskey. "'I will stop drinking for you.' Haymitch promised."

"Like hell I am." Haymitch toasted her with the bottle before taking a long mouthful.

"'I can't wait any longer, Euphemia. I need to take you now.'"

Haymitch opened her mouth but Effie was quicker. "If you ever call me Euphemia, I will make sure there is a shortage of alcohol on the train and in the penthouse every year for the rest of your life."

He wisely closed his mouth again.

Finnick waited for the banter to be over before he continued, his face red with hilarity. "'Oh, but, Mitch…"

There was a general bound of laughter at that one.

"Mitch." Johanna repeated again and again. "I like it. It rhymes with bitch." She looked at Effie and Haymitch in turn pointedly. "Mitch and bitch."

Chaff almost fell off his chair, he was holding his side and if Effie hadn't been so busy pouting she certainly would have ventured a comment about his health.

"'Oh, but Mitch…'" Finnick took up where he left off "Effie was biting her lip, her cheeks red with embarrassment. 'I've never… You should know I've never…'"

"Please, tell me she's not going to say what I think she's going to say." Johanna snickered.

"'I've been saving myself for the right man.'" Finnick concluded prompting a round of laughter that was even worse than all the ones before.

Effie hid her face behind her hand.

"Now I see the difference between reality and fiction, Trinket." Johanna taunted.

"I don't like what you're implying." she huffed.

"I'm not implying anything, I'm stating you're a tramp." Seven's victor flashed a dangerous smile.

"Which would make you a slut. Pot and kettle, Jo." Haymitch snorted.

"Sorry." Johanna rolled her eyes. She looked anything but sorry. "I forgot your precious escort was out of bounds."

"I think everyone had enough fun." Effie declared before it could escalate into an outright fight. She stood up, a bit unsteady on her feet – Haymitch's whiskey had done nothing for her balance – and did the polite thing to signify the party was at an end. "Thank you all for a delightful evening."

There were some protests and even more begging to read more but Effie was firm and soon enough, everyone was piled in the elevator. When she came back to the living-room, Haymitch was perusing a few fanzine, regularly taking a mouthful of whiskey.

"Didn't you have enough of those horrible stories?" she asked, taking off her heels.

"I'm researching." It dawned on her that he was making piles. He pushed the smallest one her way. "We never tried that."

She snatched the fanzine he was reading and threw it over her shoulder before straddling his lap. "Are we at the point where we need bad porn to keep having sex?" She didn't let him time to answer before kissing him, deep and tantalizingly slow. "I was under the impression we were doing well on that front."

"I don't know, sweetheart… Can you take me hard as marble and hot as a volcano?" he teased. "I hear I'm too impressive for you."

"You're right." she snapped, irritated. "I can't. It's probably best if I go straight to bed. Have fun with your fictional Effie, Mitch."

She stood up with a huff and walked away. She didn't go very far though. He grabbed her around the waist and pulled her on the couch where he kissed the breath out of her. She tried to push him away but more to make a point than by real desire to escape. Soon, she gave up and kissed him back all the while thinking that all those people couldn't even imagine how good the real thing was.

Their stories didn't even come close.