Prompt : Hi! I've a prompt; if you like it, then by all means please use it! In honour of all awkward situations, could you please write a ff with the top 5 most awkward situations Hayffie have ever encountered? Maybe about then dating or not... Or anything Hehe

Don't judge me, this fell into crack real fast. ;)

Awkward

5.

The Training Center's infirmary was generally quiet in the dead of night, Chaff had been there enough times after a night of binge drinking that had ended badly for him to know. That was why he was mildly surprised by the noise and the sudden agitation a little after midnight.

He propped himself on his elbow watching with unashamed curiosity as Twelve's team was ushered in the small room and to one of the bed. He didn't miss the fact that despite the variety of free available seats, they chose to sit close to each other – he had stopped wondering about that a long time ago, those two always seemed to gravitate around each other. Haymitch was pressing a cloth to his badly bleeding brow and Trinket was limping but she refused medical attention with a smile. Chaff's lips stretched in a mocking smirk when he spied their attire. Haymitch was wearing sweatpants but nothing else, his hair was damp and stuck to his face, as for the escort, she was clad in a shiny dressing gown and a purple wig was sitting askew on top of her head, obviously thrown on in a rush.

"So, how did this happen?" he asked.

Haymitch glared at him but there wasn't much he could do while someone was stitching him up.

"Haymitch slipped in the shower." Trinket announced. "I heard the commotion and I went to help."

"Yeah… 'Cause we all know Haymitch is very set on taking a shower everyday even if it's so late…" he chuckled.

If Trinket's eyes had been laser, he would already be dead, Chaff mused, while the nurse stifled a laugh of her own.

"He's clumsy." she hissed.

"So are you." Chaff insisted, nodding at the rapidly developing bruise on her knee. "Did you slip in the shower too by any chance?"

Trinket's cheeks flushed crimson. "I tripped over a shirt in his room when I was rushing to help. I do not like what you are implying."

"Don't mind him." Haymitch grumbled, as the doctor finished the last stitch. "He's just trying to get a rise out of you."

"Yeah, don't mind me, love." he laughed. "I would try to get a rise out of him but I think you're literally better at that than I am."

Trinket opened and closed her mouth like a fish out of water. It was fun to watch.

"Stop it. It's true what she said." Haymitch snapped. "I slipped, she came to help. Nothing else."

The doctor made herself scarce really quickly, muttering something about going to get some more gauze.

"Then why do you have blue lipstick all over your neck?" Chaff snorted.

Haymitch and Trinket exchanged a look, her eyes widened slightly when she spied the half-erased marks on his neck but it was too late : a perfect match with the lipstick she was still wearing.

"Well.. I…" she stuttered. "It must have happened when I was helping him up."

"Yeah." Haymitch added as an afterthought.

Chaff snorted again. "Dangerous things, showers…"

Trinket looked down, Haymitch avoided his eyes and a heavy silence crept up on them.

Awkward.

4.

"No, I'm telling you…" Finnick insisted, hitting the elevator calling button several times in a desperate attempt to make it appear faster. "We have a shot. Never mind the star-cross lovers crap Haymitch is trying to sell, if we…"

Blight rolled his eyes, obviously not convinced by their chances. Their tributes had entered an alliance but it didn't matter much to anyone since all sponsors would talk about was the girl on fire and her lover boy.

When the elevator doors finally slid open with a chime, Finnick's well constructed speech died on his lips.

Next to him, Blight almost choke on an incredulous laughter.

"Gentlemen." Haymitch nodded at them very seriously. "We're in a bit of trouble, here."

"This is so not what it looks like…" Effie whined.

Finnick blinked twice but the scene didn't change. Effie remained kneeling right in front of Haymitch, her two hands on his belt, an expression of pure dismay on her face. Haymitch, on the other hand, seemed ready to burst out laughing.

Awkward.

"Maybe we should… take another elevator." Four's victor suggested lamely.

"No, no, no!" Effie protested. "You need to help me."

"Yeah, see… No offense, but I'm not much into that." Finnick grinned.

"Don't be ridiculous, Finnick!" she snapped. "My wig is caught in his belt."

Haymitch's snicker was a sign that sent them all laughing to her obvious mortification.

"That's the part when you say it's not what it looks like again." Finnick offered, clapping Blight on the shoulder to signal him he should go ahead and make arrangements for their tributes while Twelve's team was busy doing whatever they were doing in the elevator.

"Are you going to act like the proper gentleman I know you are or are you going to behave like a ruffian and refuse to rescue a lady in need?" Effie growled.

"I'm considering calling Chaff and Jo." he said truthfully but at the glare she sent him, he thought better of that. "Why don't you take the wig off?"

"I tried, it's glued to her head." Haymitch cut in. "I tried to tug too but it didn't work. I think it's caught under the buckle, I can't reach it and she can't turn her head enough to see properly."

Finnick rolled his eyes and stepped in the elevator, letting the doors close behind him before anyone could see them. "I'm not even going to ask how that happened…"

"I bent to pick up my earring and I can't make sense of the rest." Effie sighed.

"Sure." Finnick snorted. "Was your earring in Haymitch's pants?" He frowned. "Now that's a disturbing thought."

"Can you help?" Effie pleaded. "I swear this isn't what it looks like."

"So you've said, sweetheart." Haymitch snorted. "You can say it until you're hoarse, he won't believe it."

Worse thing was, he almost believed it. He knew Effie, she could have invented a better excuse than a lost earring.

With a long suffering sigh, he reached for Haymitch's belt buckle. It took a few seconds of uncomfortable feeling around before he managed to find the strand that was caught in the belt.

"Got it." he triumphed.

"Thank God!" Effie exclaimed. "You have very talented fingers."

"I would be happy to show you how much." he winked at her, working quickly at freeing her. "But don't say that when my hands are so close to Haymitch's crotch."

He helped her up to her feet once he was done and she thanked him several times, brushing the dust off her dress and fussing over the state of her wig.

"Don't go looking for earrings again in the elevator!" he called after them when they stepped out, finally leaving him free to go to the Games Headquarters.

He heard Effie groan in distress, probably knowing he would tease her about that until the end of her days.

3.

"Harder. Harder."

Cinna paused in the penthouse corridor in surprise – or shock – and looked at Effie's open bedroom door with astonishment. It only grew when he heard Haymitch's annoyed voice, clearly out of breath, answering her pleas.

"I'm doing the best I can. If you're not happy, do it yourself." the victor snapped.

"Maybe I should." Effie retorted, obviously fed up. "Men! Why do we even bother asking you anything? Harder, Haymitch."

"What are you doing here?" Portia asked curiously.

Cinna startled guiltily and opened his mouth to explain when Effie started screaming abuse at Haymitch again.

"I said harder. Honestly, how difficult is it to grasp that concept?" she screeched. "This is the last time I ask anything of the sort of you."

Portia gaped. She stared at the door, her mouth hanging open, and Cinna gently nudged her chin up with a fond smile.

"Good!" Haymitch replied. "I don't even know why I said yes."

"I should have asked Cinna!" Effie retorted. "He's always happy to do this for me!"

Portia's head turned so fast something snapped in her neck, she narrowed her eyes at him and he barely had time to lift his hands defensively before she was very simply walking in that room without even a customary knock.

"What do you mean Cinna is happy to…" Portia's voice trailed off and Cinna felt he had no choice but to follow her in so he did, keeping his eyes riveted on the carpet floor so he wouldn't see… things he would need to bleach out of his mind later. "Oh." Portia laughed softly. "That's what you were doing…"

Cinna finally looked up to see Haymitch and Effie frozen on the spot. She wasn't wearing anything much aside for a pair of panties, a blue wig and a corset but he had helped her in haute-couture dresses enough times to have seen her in such an attire before. What he wasn't used to seeing however was Haymitch hanging to the strings of her corset.

"What did you think we were doing?" Effie frowned.

"Well, with the noises you were making…" Portia's smile was teasing but her lifted eyebrow left no room to the imagination.

Effie's eyes widened comically. "Oh, no! No! This isn't what it sounds like at all! Haymitch was just helping me – or failing to, in that case – with my corset but… Nothing untoward was going on."

Portia hummed. "How did he come to help you get in your corset, though?"

There was only one way to describe the resulting silence.

Awkward.

"I was walking in front of her room." Haymitch said at last. "She called me. She's annoying that way. Thinks I'm her dog or something…"

He took a swallow of his abandoned bottle of wine for good measure.

Cinna wasn't convinced.

From her smirk, he could tell Portia wasn't either.

"Well, we will leave you to it." she said.

They weren't even in the corridor before they burst out laughing.

2

Alma Coin had been leading an entire District on her own for more than ten years and she was in the middle of a rebellion she had been prepped for since she was fifteen, her time was precious and too few.

That's why when she walked in Command one morning, Plutarch on her heels, to find the room deserted but for the two people clearly embracing against the table, she didn't even blink. No time.

"Please, keep that for free periods in your schedules and to your respective compartments." she spat on her way to her chair.

There was a moment of silence as Haymitch Abernathy and Effie Trinket sprung apart and Plutarch was too busy gaping to get to his own seat. Awkward, she surmised. She had no time for awkwardness, they were in the middle of a rebellion.

"Plutarch." she reminded him sternly.

The former Gamemaker finally tore his eyes away from the victor who was busy glaring at everything and everyone to start his briefing.

The escort, she was happy to notice, hurried out of the room, her face red like a ripe tomato.

1.

"Mommy! Mommy! Grandpa had an accident!"

Katniss froze in Haymitch and Effie's kitchen, putting down the bag of groceries she had brought back from the market for them and hurrying to the living-room where her daughter had rushed to without waiting for her.

When she reached the living-room, she couldn't see what the urgency was. The room seemed a little more messy than usual, true enough, some cushions were on the floor, the coffee table wasn't in the middle of the rug anymore – which was odd considering Effie's obsessive behavior – and Effie herself looked flustered. She was also holding her dress in place with a hand. As for Haymitch, his back was turned on them and he was struggling to get his pants up to his waist.

And Willow was standing in the middle, looking very lost. She ran to Katniss, latching on her hand with eyes wide.

"Grandma says Grandpa had an accident like I do in the bed sometimes and she was helping him change and then her dress went puff." Willow summed up.

"You couldn't find a better excuse?" Haymitch grumbled, shooting a murderous glance at Effie over his shoulder.

"I didn't have time." the former escort replied. "Besides, I didn't see you forthcoming with an explanation."

"I see…" Katniss said, horrified and maybe a bit traumatized. She nudged Willow behind her. "Can you go and tell your Dad we're back?"

Willow didn't move one inch. "Does Grandpa needs diapers like babies now? Tidy's grandpa has diapers."

Haymitch almost choked to death. "I don't need diapers!"

"But Grandma said you had a pee-pee accident…" Willow protested. "It's okay to have pee-pee accidents. I do and I'm still a big girl. Daddy said so."

Effie was hiding her face behind her hands, clearly wishing she could be back in the Capitol.

Katniss wasn't far from wishing the same thing.

"Go tell Dad we're back." she insisted, pushing the girl gently.

Willow didn't look satisfied with the dismissal but she scampered away anyway. It was too easy – Katniss didn't doubt she would be back in a matter of minutes, probably with a set of her brother's diapers if Haymitch was lucky.

The mood in the living-room once the child was gone couldn't be defined otherwise than awkward.

"Look there, now…" Haymitch started before she could say anything. "It's my bloody house and I do what I want in it."

"Then lock the bloody door." Katniss snapped. "I don't need my kid to see… things!"

The mere idea of what Willow had walked in on made her wince in disgust.

"She didn't see anything." Effie piped in. "Nothing me helping Haymitch to change pants didn't explain anyway."

The last part was added awkwardly and in an embarrassed mutter.

"I don't care." Katniss shook her head. "Don't do that in the living-room if the door isn't lock. My kid comes in everyday."

"Teach her to knock." Haymitch grumbled.

She glared at him. "How can you even still do that? You're old."

"Fuck you." Haymitch spat.

"Language." Effie clucked her tongue. "Honestly, this isn't…"

Her sentence was interrupted by the heavy stomping of an energetic five years old. Willow reappeared, closely followed by Peeta who directly handed Katniss the baby fussing in his arms.

"What's going on?" Peeta frowned. "Willow says Haymitch wetted himself…"

Haymitch flopped on the couch with a groan. "If only. Didn't even get that far."

"Haymitch!" Effie hissed, outraged.

"You don't want to know." Katniss declared, gathering her daughter close with her free hand and nudging Peeta with her shoulder. "We're going home."

"Katniss, I am truly sorry." Effie offered, biting on her bottom lip. "I assure you…"

"Yeah, I know." she replied quickly. "It's okay."

It was. If Effie said Willow didn't see anything then she trusted her but she really didn't want to think about the number of times she had sat on that couch or on that rug now that she knew what they had been doing.

Talk about awkward family reunion, she thought.