So by numerous popular request I bring Theo (from my story Thirteen Ship) back. I wanted him to meet Johanna for a while so here it goes. I was deliberating publishing it here because it's more Jo centric than hayffie (although it's here if you read between the lines) but today is my birthday, I'm now old, and I thought fuck it, it's the day to do things. =)

Meet Theo

Morphling was easing the pain but Johanna could still feel it underneath, purring deep under her skin. She had been in pain for so long she couldn't quite remember how it felt to not feel it. She was lying in that bed, staring at the grey ceiling, and she couldn't help but wait for the pain to come back, to bite.

"You're Johanna Mason." a little voice stated with enough amazement that Johanna turned her head to look at the boy standing next to her bed, a stuffed sheep hanging from his fist.

She glared at the kid, hoping it would be enough to frighten him away. Tough luck.

"Mommy doesn't like you." the boy said after a few minutes of silence. "I wanted your figurine but she bought Gloss' instead. I don't like Gloss, he's stupid."

"He's also very dead." she snorted. The kid flinched and she felt strangely guilty. That was why she never spoke to children. It was more difficult to be mean to them, they were very good at the kicked puppy face. She went back to staring at the ceiling. "Go back to your Mom."

In the corner of her eyes, she saw the boy glancing over his shoulder at the hospital corridor before hugging the sheep tightly against his chest.

"Mommy is screaming." he whispered. "Daddy says I have to wait outside but it was boring and I was all alone and I don't like when she screams."

Johanna closed her eyes and sighed. "I'm not a fucking shrink."

"What's fucking?" the boy asked curiously, creeping closer to the bed. "And what's shrink? Is it a fish? It sounds like a fish. What's fucking?"

"Ask your Mom." she snapped.

"Okay." he accepted easily. "I like learning new words. Mommy teaches me lots!" He looked down, worrying the stuffed sheep between his hands. "She couldn't come on the super-secret adventure with Daddy and me and the bad men caught her and now she has a lot of nightmares and she screams a lot because she's scared."

"Did you hear me asking for your life story?" she grumbled. She had no intention to listen to some random kid's sorry tale. She was sure Thirteen was full of orphans and traumatized children running around. Wars didn't spare anyone. Why should she care?

"I'm looking for Finnick. He knows pirate stories." the boy explained, completely disregarding her obvious annoyance. "Do you know pirate stories?"

"You know Finnick?" she frowned, studying the kid more closely.

"Oh, yes!" the boy beamed with pride. "He's my second bestest friend. Posy is my bestest friend ever and then Finnick then Prim then Buttercup then Katniss. And Annie is nice too! She sings lullabies if I say please." Johanna's frown deepened, she watched the child more closely. There was something familiar about him but she couldn't pinpoint it. The kid didn't seem to mind the staring, he climbed on the bed without being invited to and sat there cross-legged. "You can be my friend too! I can visit you and I will bring others and you won't be all alone and sad anymore."

"I'm not alone and sad." she spat. "Shut your mouth."

The boy wrinkled his nose. "That's rude. Mommy says not to be rude."

"Yeah, but your Mom is also half-crazy from what you're saying so what does she know, right?" she retorted.

The child looked down at the sheep and didn't look up again.

She dreaded the tears that would surely come but the kid didn't throw a tantrum.

"Mommy is not crazy." he sulked. "Daddy says she's scared 'cause the bad men hurt her. She's going to be fine now because she's with us and we're her family and Daddy will protect us and when the super-secret adventure is over we will all live together and maybe I will even have a real sheep. Daddy says so." Grey eyes stared at her. "The bad men took you too. I heard Finnick and Daddy talking about it."

"Who's your Dad?" She should have started with that question, she figured, because clearly the kid knew all the surviving victors and he didn't seem to be able to take a hint. He also wasn't scared of her glaring so she was at a loss of what to do.

"Daddy's the bestest victor!" The boy flashed her a bright toothless smile. He hesitated for a second and then amended. "After Finnick."

"Victor." she repeated, puzzled. She was trying to remember who had kids fitting in that age range, the boy couldn't be older than seven at most. She would have given him five or six years old. She decided it must have been someone who hadn't been reaped for the Quell and had stayed behind. "Which District?"

"Twelve. They do mining and that's where the coal comes from and you can do a lot of things with coal like in the fireplace and stuff and also you get diamonds and pearls and lots of pretty things in mines!" The child almost bounced in her excitement to tell her all about his District – not that she heard any.

"Your Dad is a victor from Twelve." She was too stunned to laugh but she could feel it bubbling in her chest : hysterical chuckles. "You're kidding me."

Although, his eyes… They were identical to Haymitch's and she should have guessed from the start really. But the thought that Haymitch had hidden a child from them all along…

"I'm not kidding!" the boy protested, obviously offended that she didn't believe him. "My Daddy's a victor and my Mommy's an escort and I can tell people now 'cause I don't have to be secret anymore."

She almost choked. "Escort?" Trinket, her mind supplied, who else? "Oh, for the fucking love of fucking…"

"That's enough cursing in front of my kid, Jo." Haymitch rebuked from the threshold. "Effie's going to have your ass on a plate if she finds out."

"Daddy!" the boy jumped from the bed and ran to Twelve's victor. Johanna watched, wide eyes, as Haymitch lifted the kid up and carried him as if he had been doing it all his life.

"You know better than wandering away, Theo." the victor scolded the child firmly. "I was worried."

"I wanted Finnick." the child shrugged. "And then I found Johanna Mason, look!"

"Yeah, I saw." Haymitch snorted.

"She was all alone and she looked sad and so I said I will be her friend and she doesn't have to be alone and sad anymore. Why doesn't she have hair? I didn't want to ask because maybe it's rude and Mommy says we can't be rude." Theo declared proudly. "What's fucking, Daddy? Johanna says I have to ask Mommy."

Twelve's victor shot Johanna a glare and she glared right back.

"Is Mommy okay now?" the kid asked in a small voice.

"It was just a nightmare." Haymitch answered in the softest voice Johanna ever heard him using. "I explained, remember?"

Theo nodded but he didn't seem happy about it. "Can I see her now?"

"Yeah. Run ahead." He put the child back on the ground and nudged him in direction of the door. "Straight there, Theo. I can't go looking around the whole District for you." He stayed in the corridor, presumably to watch the kid disappear in the right room before he turned back to Johanna. "How are you holding up, sweetheart?"

"Well enough to kick your ass if you call me that one more time." she growled. "You're going to explain or what?"

He sighed but dragged a chair closer to the bed and told her everything. The story was short in retrospect. Trinket got pregnant, hid the kid, drop him on Haymitch the day he was leaving for Thirteen and got her ass arrested for her troubles.

"I can't decide if that was fucking clever or plain stupid." she scoffed when he was done. "Trinket should just have gotten rid of the baby."

A glint of something dangerous flashed in Haymitch's eyes. "She knew he was mine. She wanted him."

"She never asked what you wanted." she retorted. "You can't tell me…"

"I'm glad she didn't." he spat, a note of warning in his voice. "If she had, I wouldn't have my son."

Her cackles were cruel, she knew, but she couldn't help it. She had been bitter before the Capitol had used her as a punching-ball but it was nothing compared to now.

"And now what? You're playing at being the perfect family? You're playing at being his dad like you ever wanted a kid?" she mocked. "That's not you."

His glare slowly turned into a look of longing. "It was. A long time ago."

"You're a victor, Haymitch." she reminded him with a sneer. "None of us are meant for normal shit like that."

He shrugged. "Maybe not but I'm selfish enough to take it anyway. Effie and Theo are my family, it beats being alone." He stood up and almost reached for her hand. She was glad he stopped himself at the last second. She wasn't his stupid escort or his brainless bird, she didn't need comfort.

"Funny." she scowled when he was almost on the threshold. "I thought you already had one."

She, Finnick, Chaff, Mags, Seeder… They had been his family long before Katniss and Peeta had come around. He seemed to have forgotten that somewhere along the line, too focused on getting his tributes out of the frying pan.

"Never said you couldn't be part of it, Jo." he shrugged and then he walked out.

"Fuck you." she shouted after him.

She wasn't jealous, she told herself, because there was no reason to be.

What did she care if he had found new protégés to replace her? What did she care if he had a real kid now and not just a bunch of beat up adopted victors?

What did she care?