Prompt : please could you do something post mj where effie is meant to be living in haymitchs guest room and one day the kids are looking for her and they go to ask haymitch where she might be and they walk into his room like oh shit she's asleep in your bed okay then

Well that was fun. XD Yes the title is a reference to finding Nemo. No I do not know why.

Finding Effie

"Can't it wait?" Peeta asked as they let themselves in through the backdoor of Haymitch's house. Their mentor had taken up the habit of locking doors before going to bed since Effie had arrived – it made her feel safer – but he and Katniss had long ago found a solution to that problem by 'borrowing' the keys and having a couple of spares made.

Katniss' only answer was a frown and a look. Peeta raised his hands defensively and accepted the unspoken answer that of course, it couldn't wait. The look had appeared some time ago and let him know when he was saying or doing stupid things in their relationship – Haymitch had seen it once and had advised Peeta to follow orders when she was glaring that way if he didn't want to sleep on the couch. Peeta had tested the theory and concluded Haymitch had a point.

Silent as a cat, Katniss slipped out of the kitchen and up the stairs, her old leather jacket – with a tear under the arm that was only threatening to grow wider – carefully folded in her hands. They had puzzled over it for almost half an hour, she had taken out the thread and the needle but she was wary of damaging her father's jacket further and they had, after all, an expert in clothes next door.

Peeta had pointed out that waking up said expert in clothes at the crack of dawn would probably not go so well because as much as Effie was an early riser, she didn't like being woken up. Did Katniss ever listen to him though? No.

They could hear Haymitch's snores from the top of the stairs and, for a second, they exchanged a glance and suppressed a laugh. He followed Katniss down the corridor, admiring her swiftness when she walked. She was a huntress born and it showed. He loved it. He loved her.

She stopped on the guestroom's threshold and frowned. Peeta peered over her shoulder. The door was open, the bed was made but Effie was nowhere in sight, that was peculiar.

"Maybe she's already out?" he suggested.

"Where would she go so early?" Katniss frowned, stepping in and looking around. She ran her hand over the dresser. "Her beauty things are gone." Before Peeta could ask her to calm down – he was certain there was a logical explanation – she was opening the drawers and the wardrobe without any care in the world for privacy. "Where are her clothes? Where are her shoes? Her suitcases?"

"Katniss, calm down." Peeta ordered. "She was here yesterday night, she didn't just vanish…"

"What if she left?" his girlfriend insisted. "What if Haymitch said something and she finally snapped and she took the early train this morning?"

"She would never leave without saying goodbye." he argued. "It's not very…"

"Proper." Katniss finished. "Yeah, you're right. But then where is she?" A glowering look flashed on her face and then, before he could stop her, she was loudly stomping to Haymitch's room, her earlier silent gait completely forgotten. Peeta followed – didn't he always? "If he did something…" she grumbled.

"I don't think he killed her and hid the body." he pointed out, a little amused. "If anything, it would happen the other way around."

Haymitch's door was wide open and Peeta, taller than Katniss, saw the key to the mystery a second before she did. It was enough delay for her to bellow "Haymitch!" at the top of her lungs, then she spotted the blond hair spread on the pillow and the smaller body their mentor was spooning and let out a soft "oh.".

Peeta really, really wanted to laugh but Haymitch startling awake and almost throwing himself over Effie in an instinctive move to protect her while his hand felt around for a knife he wouldn't find wasn't really amusing. Their former escort remained dead to the world, barely letting out an annoyed grunt at being crushed.

Peeta supposed it was lucky they both seemed to be wearing clothes.

When Haymitch's eyes finally focused on them, any notion of laughing the awkward moment off disappeared.

"What in fucking hell are you fucking doing here?" he growled.

Mindful of the woman in his bed, he lied back down next to her. Peeta could see his right arm was trapped under her head, he tried to free himself but she let out a whine and turned around, wrapping her arm around his waist and nestling her head under his chin.

"Don't leave me…" she begged in a sleepy mumble.

Haymitch immediately petted her hair. "I'm not leaving, go back to sleep."

"'m still asleep…" she slurred.

"Sure, you are, Princess." he snorted. Apparently satisfied she would sleep some more, he glared at them again.

Peeta wished it was less effective when he was holding a woman in his arms with so much care but, unfortunately, Haymitch's anger was always a sight to behold. A little like Katniss' – Katniss who was watching him with the same deadly glare their mentor was giving her.

"What do you think you're doing?" Katniss hissed.

"Sleeping in my fucking bed in my fucking house that was fucking locked." he retorted.

"Is fucking your word today?" Peeta cut in, amused despite himself. "I don't think Effie is going to approve."

"You stay out of it, boy." Haymitch advised.

Katniss had a look but Haymitch had one too, one that told Peeta if he had been a few years younger he would have been sent to his room and grounded for three weeks. Came to think of it, Effie had a look too – although it was mostly directed at Haymitch and Katniss. How was it he was the only one who didn't have a look?

"Is your house on fire, girl?" Haymitch asked. "Are we under attack? Is it a life and death situation?"

"I was looking for Effie." Katniss countered.

"A six a.m.?" he scoffed. "Effie's not free at six a.m. She's sleeping. I'm sleeping. You don't come get one of us unless it's a fucking emergency."

"Language." Effie mumbled in his neck.

Peeta chewed on his bottom lip. Everything was surreal – and at the same time not really surprising except maybe for Katniss who was so unobservant it was cute – he was having difficulties not laughing.

"Why are you sleeping with Effie?" Katniss insisted, her eyes narrowed at Haymitch.

While his girlfriend was metaphorically slamming into open doors, he noticed Effie's missing stuff was scattered all around Haymitch's bedroom. Their bedroom, he supposed. It must have been going on for some time because her perfumes, lotions and other bottles were all around the dressing table in the corner.

"You want the birds and bees talk?" Haymitch chuckled. "Sometimes when Mommy and Daddy love each other very much…"

"Shut up!" Katniss squealed. "That's not what I mean and you know it! She's still recovering and you're… You're…"

"Fucking her?" Haymitch suggested helpfully.

"Language." Effie repeated for the second time, a lot less sleepily.

Haymitch rolled his eyes. "You can stop faking sleep at any time and help me out, you know."

There was a pause and then Effie pulled the blankets higher so only the top of her head was visible where it was tucked under his chin. "This is embarrassing and I don't like being embarrassed first thing in the morning. As far as you are all concerned I am sleeping."

"You're old and it's gross!" Katniss sputtered. "And she's still…"

"I ever asked you why the boy spent so much time in your room after the first Games?" Haymitch snapped. "No. So maybe you want to think before you judge, sweetheart."

That made Katniss stop but barely for a second. "Effie did. She didn't want us to sleep together before we were married."

"And you followed that instruction, yeah?" Haymitch mocked.

"That's the point when you want to make a distinction between sixteen years old and adults." Effie whispered. "And also, perhaps, make clear you didn't coerce me into anything."

"It's different!" Katniss retorted. "Peeta and I did nothing back then! He was just helping with the nightmares."

Haymitch threw him a knowing look that left Peeta shuffling his feet awkwardly. Katniss had never ever noticed his morning woods during Victory Tour but it didn't mean embarrassing situations hadn't happened.

"Sweetheart, I've been screwing Effie for years…" Haymitch started only to be interrupted by a slap on the arm. He rolled his eyes and tried again. "Look, Effie is fine. She sleeps better with me, I sleep better with her, we have great sex…" This time he avoided the slap by grabbing the former's escort wrist and went on. "And it's none of your damned fucking business so get out of my damned room."

"Must you always be so vulgar?" Effie sighed.

"Like you don't like it when I talk dirty to you…" he taunted.

"Gross." Katniss yelped, pressing her hands against her ears in a very childish way.

Peeta couldn't help it anymore he burst out laughing.

"Sorry we disturbed you." he panted between two chuckles, grabbing Katniss' hand and dragging her away from this craziness. She was sulking.

"They're old and they're Effie and Haymitch and it's gross." she muttered for what must have been the twentieth time.

As if to counter her one last time, there was a surprised squeal from the bedroom followed by giggles and a moan.

They hurried out of the house as quickly as their legs would take them.