This isn't a prompt but something I thought about in movie!verse. I stand by my opinion that Gale would never have accepted Effie so readily and that it would have caused disagreements with Kat like the prep team does in the book. I also loved the mama!effie feels the movie gave us though and so I wanted to explore a little on that turf. Coupled with hayffie naturally.
What Love Is Made Of
Effie hated Thirteen with a passion that had seldom found an equal.
She hated everything from the ever-present grey of the walls, floors and ceilings to the grim faces of the people. She hated the fact that the base was deep underground it was difficult to keep a sense of time, she hated the awful food and, above all, she hated the cold that chilled her to the bones every night despite the nest of blankets she had made for herself on the bed.
She had been having difficulties to sleep for years now but it wasn't anything sleeping pills couldn't cure. Deprived of them, she barely managed a couple of hours each night and even then, it was so terribly cold she was always afraid she would freeze to death while she was asleep. As a consequence, she tended to do a lot of tossing and turning – which was why the heavy knocking on the door of her compartment late one night didn't bother her. Schedule or not, she couldn't force herself to sleep on command. She wasn't that much of a robot.
"Yes?" she called out from her bed, switching the dim lights on, her eyes already trying to locate the piece of cloth she was using as a headscarf. It wasn't unprecedented for Plutarch to have her called to Command in the dead of night when he needed help.
"It's me." came the hesitant voice of Katniss. "Can I stay with you for a while?"
The request made Effie frown and she slipped her legs over the side of the bed, puzzled.
"Come in, dear, it's open." she answered finally, unwilling to leave her to wait forever in the dark corridor while she attempted to get off that thing they called a bunk bed. The District was military and it showed, she hated having to haul her body up the bed and having to jump to get off. She could never do it with any dignity.
"You shouldn't leave it unlocked." Katniss advised, while stepping in. She looked around the small family space with its little table and two chairs, smiled a bit when she saw the pink dress lovingly hung on the back of one chair and finally spotted Effie still trying to get down from her perch. "Oh, you were in bed. Sorry."
Effie didn't know how that girl always managed to say sorry and sound as if she never meant it.
"Never mind." she brushed her apologies away with a courteous wave. "Is there a problem?"
Katniss wandered closer, the sulk on her face obvious. Without further ado or asking for permission, she hauled herself up the bed and sat next to Effie, letting her legs dangle. Effie decided it was as well because she was cold so she scrambled back against the wall under the pretence of leaving the girl more space but also slipped her legs back under the blankets. She waited but Katniss didn't speak or explain, she simply gripped the edge of the mattress so tightly her knuckles turned white and kept her head bowed.
Effie felt at a loss.
She loved Katniss, she truly did, but, from the start, Haymitch had always been the one to handle her. He had a special connection with her Effie didn't have. She had always found Peeta easier to talk to. They had developed a dynamic over the last year and a half : when in trouble, Katniss would go to Haymitch and Peeta would come to her. Now, however, everything had changed. Katniss was still angry at Haymitch and Peeta was gone.
"What is the matter, Katniss?" she prompted softly.
When she failed to answer, Effie reached for the long dark hair hanging loose on the girl's shoulder. It was all tangled and had obviously not been taken care of properly in a few days. With a sigh, she extracted herself from the bed and faced the freezing cold to retrieve her hairbrush from the cupboard they called a bathroom. She had some difficulties climbing up on the bed again and she huffed in annoyance but was happy to see the girl trying to hide a mocking smirk. If Katniss was still able to find her ridiculous, then all hope wasn't lost.
The girl didn't move when Effie sat behind her and carefully started working the brush through the knots. She wished she had some hair lotion and a good dose of conditioner.
"You have such lovely hair..." she hummed. "You should take better care of it."
"I love yours." Katniss answered. "Why are you hiding it?"
Effie patted her curly strawberry blond hair self-consciously and let out a nervous laugh that sounded awfully fake to her own ears. "It's very plain, isn't it?"
"Mine is too." she shrugged. "I think you look better like that."
Despite the fact the Capitol in her insisted to take this as an insult, Effie smiled, recognizing the compliment for what it was.
"Thank you, dear." she answered.
"I forgot to braid them before we went hunting." Katniss sighed. "And then..." Her sentence trailed off and Effie frowned.
"You hunt in the morning, don't you?" she asked. "What did you do all day?"
There was a moment of silence and then the girl shrugged again. "I sat in the cupboard near the kitchen."
"All day?" Effie insisted, dismayed. Katniss had been doing so much better lately she had thought her days of hiding in cupboards or behind pipes were over. "Your mother must be beside herself with worry, we should..."
"She doesn't care." Katniss interrupted her. "She's used to it."
"That is absolutely not an acceptable reason." she chided her, working the brush through her hair a little harder than strictly necessary.
"I had a fight with Gale." the girl finally confessed with obvious reluctance. "He really hates Capitols. He said nasty things about you, it made me angry."
She was strangely touched by that.
"He probably has his reasons to mistrust me." Effie offered. "I do not expect people from your District to like me, Katniss."
Or from any District for that matter – that was another problem that she was certain she would have to deal with at some point, particularly if the rebels won the war.
"I like you." the girl grumbled. "Peeta likes you too." The simple mention of the boy was enough to make Katniss look even more sullen. "Gale said things about Peeta too."
And there laid the real problem, Effie surmised.
"I suspect Gale might be a little bit jealous." she declared.
"He says he loves me." Katniss whispered. "Peeta said he loved me too."
Her dark hair was all free of knots now. In an effort to keep her hands occupied, Effie started braiding it in the girl's favorite fashion. It wasn't much different than styling a wig and she excelled at that.
"Who do you love?" she asked.
The girl tilted her head to the side, forcing Effie to alter her movements so the braid wouldn't be crooked.
"I don't know." Katniss replied. "I'm not sure I love anyone. I know I love Prim but that's different, isn't it?"
"It is." Effie nodded, her thoughts wandering to her own sister, praying that she was alright. The braid was done, Katniss handed her a hair tie she kept on her wrist and she secured it in place. "Here you go."
The girl turned and sat on the bed cross-legged. It made Effie cringe because shoes should never go on a bed but Katniss looked so upset she held her tongue.
"Do you want me to do yours?" the young victor asked, nodding at her own wild mane of curls. They seemed to be in for a long talk since Katniss didn't seem in any hurry to leave and it had been some time since her last girls night so she didn't see why not. She requested that Katniss took off her boots – she tried to refrain but it was more than she could bear – and they switched places. The girl worked the hairbrush in her hair a lot more brutally than Effie had. "I will make it fancy." Katniss declared. "I do Prim's all the time. You will like it."
It was probably the most girly thing she had ever heard Katniss say.
"Have you ever been in love?" the girl asked after a few minutes of Effie thinking she was going to rip her hair from her scalp.
"More times than I can count." Effie chuckled. "I fancied myself in love a thousand times, I think. I have been engaged three times. I always called it off a week after saying yes. Once the euphoria of the proposal had passed, it never felt right. It always made the front of every magazine..."
And she supposed it was part of the reason she always accepted the proposal in the first place. It was a way to feed the monster, a way to keep herself interesting to the crowd... The men dreamt of finally be the one she wouldn't reject and the women resented her for it or admired her for having the courage not to let herself be trapped into an ill-suited marriage.
"But that's not real love, is it?" the girl objected She could hear the frown in her voice. "That's like me and Peeta. That's pretend."
"Are you sure you and Peeta were only pretending, my dear?" she asked with caution. "During the Quell..."
"So you've never been really in love then?" Katniss insisted. "For real, I mean."
The girl's hands nudged Effie's head to the side as she started a small French braid over her ear. She didn't know what sort of fancy style Katniss was aiming for but it certainly looked complicated.
"Once." Effie admitted after some deliberation.
"What did it feel like?" the victor asked.
"It hurts." she confessed after some more deliberation. "Precious things are meant to be difficult, otherwise they wouldn't be precious."
"But what is it like?" Katniss pressed, starting another French braid a little higher than the first.
"It's not an illness, you can't list symptoms." Effie huffed.
"Try, please." the girl requested.
"Very well." she sighed. "It feels like you are only alive when you are with the person you love. When they touch you, your skin is on fire. When they kiss you, you can't breathe and you do not care in the slightest. You miss them every second they spend away from you and you are content to simply be with them wherever you are – even in a buried pit in the middle of nowhere where colors are prohibited." She added that last part in a mumble. "Love doesn't always come at once, you know. Sometimes it creeps up on you while you aren't looking and you wake up one day and in place of the person you used to hate is now the one you love."
It was a very sensible, very poetic explanation, she decided.
Katniss tilted her head on the other side and repeated the French braid process. She remained silent for a few minutes and then snorted. "Well, I've got none of those so I guess I'm in love with neither of them."
"It is different for everyone." Effie argued.
"So, who is it?" the girl eluded.
Effie pursed her lips. "Someone who will never love me back."
"That's stupid." Katniss declared.
"Oh, I am aware, no need to convince me of it." she chuckled bitterly. "Quite ridiculous, too."
The girl nudged her head again so she was looking straight ahead and worked on the rest of her hair. She supposed she was making a huge braid out of the little ones.
"Why do you still love them if you know it's hopeless?" Katniss asked suddenly. "You're like Peeta. He knew it was all for show but he clung to it anyway..."
"You don't choose who you love, dear." Effie sighed. "And you can't exactly erase feelings you don't want. It doesn't work that way."
"Well, it should." the girl huffed. "It's not like we need to love anyone anyway. Some people don't love anyone at all. Look at Haymitch..."
"Perhaps not the best example." Effie swiftly interrupted. "But while we are on the subject, you are being unfair to him."
Katniss quickly finished the braid, secured it in place and moved back with a scowl so Effie could sit properly and face her.
"He lied to us, to me." the girl hissed. "He promised me he would save Peeta. He promised me and he left him behind. I've never asked to be brought here. I've never asked for any of this! And it's all his fault."
"Is it?" Effie retorted calmly, after a few seconds.
"He started the star-crossed lovers thing!" Katniss snapped.
"To protect you. To make you win." she argued. "And if you want to blame anyone for that, you can blame me too because I was the one who arranged a meeting between him and Seneca Crane. I was the one standing next to him, selling the star-crossed lovers story throughout the Capitol. All we wanted was giving you a chance. We never planned on both of you winning the Games, Katniss, we were betting on you. All of us. Haymitch, Cinna, Portia and me." She waited a few seconds and then added : "We never plan on your reaction to Rue's death or on you using the berries. Haymitch didn't make you the Mockingjay, dear, you made yourself into the Mockingjay. You became a symbol."
"He still lied to me." the girl insisted stubbornly. "He knew about the rebellion and he didn't say anything. He brought me here."
"He lied to me too. He brought me here too." Effie sighed, short of patience. "Do you know why he did what he did? To protect us. To protect you. I am not saying we shouldn't be angry about him taking the choices away from us, I am angry and I suspect I will be for a long time to come but we can try to understand. He loves you, Katniss. I've known him a very long time, so trust me when I say he couldn't love you more if you were his own."
Katniss' lips wobbled but she sniffed angrily and folded her arms over her chest. She looked so much like a child sometimes her annoyance was replaced with fondness.
"He still left Peeta behind." Katniss growled. "He promised me he would protect him. He promised me he would keep him safe."
"And I am certain he would have done it if it had been in his power." Effie told her. She wasn't a stranger to the girl's furor. Katniss had tried to claw Haymitch's face out when she had learned about Peeta but Effie had slapped him twice when he had told her the news. She would have struck a third time but he had grabbed her wrist and had pulled her into him despite her struggling. To that day, she still didn't know who the hug had been meant to comfort. "You have to understand he wasn't the only one in charge and Peeta being missing is killing him just as much as it is killing you. He loves the boy, Katniss."
"Does he?" the girl snarled.
"He would have volunteered for Peeta at the Reaping." Effie scowled. "He told me all about your little deal, you know. He would have done it. If that is not enough proof for you, then I don't know what is. Be angry at him all you want, but do not hate him. He doesn't deserve it."
Katniss stared at her for a while and then looked down at the blanket she was fingering nervously. "Since when do you care about Haymitch anyway?"
"I've always cared about Haymitch." she grinned. "It is part of my job."
"You're not really our escort anymore, you know." the girl said. "You don't have to put up with him if you don't want to."
"I will always be your escort, dear. It is my privilege." she offered with a cheerful smile she didn't have to fake. "As for Haymitch, I have my ways."
"It's weird to see him he's sober, isn't it?" Katniss snorted.
"I'd say it makes for a rather nice change." she sighed. "Now if he would only remain that way..."
"I get why he drinks, you know." the girl offered suddenly. "The nightmares and all..."
It wasn't just the nightmares but Effie kept that information to herself. It wasn't as much the memories that Haymitch tried to drown as his guilt.
"Haymitch is a very complicated man." she declared instead. "But he will go to hell and back for the people he loves."
The girl snorted in obvious doubt. She was about to reply when the door of her compartment was slowly slid open without a knock. The attempts at being silent disappeared when he saw the lights still on.
"Still awake?" Haymitch's voice asked, his back turned as he slid the door shut softly enough that it wouldn't alert the whole area. He slipped his shirt over his head before she could say anything. "Good 'cause I need a backrub. Those chairs in Command are killing me, sweetheart. I..."
"Haymitch." Effie hissed, before he could strip down further – as he was, no doubt, planning to do.
She could tell the exact second he spotted Katniss because he froze, his shirt dangling from his hand.
"Having a pajama party?" he asked casually.
"What are you doing here?" Katniss barked immediately. "You can't just barge in Effie's room like that! Are you drunk?"
"And that is why you should always knock, Haymitch." Effie sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose.
"I sleep here sometimes." Haymitch explained to Effie's growing horror. "Her room's closer to Command and she has a spare bed." He flung his shirt on the small table as if it was the natural thing to do and climbed on the bed opposing hers despite the fact that it was lacking sheets and blankets. "'Didn't mean to interrupt your hair braiding session. 'Night."
She pursed her lips in irritation but Katniss was the one who bristled with annoyance.
"I'm going now." the girl declared, jumping from the bed and putting her boots back. "See you tomorrow, Effie."
"Goodnight, dear." she said.
Katniss glared at Haymitch, who simply waved ironically, and left the room, sliding the door shut with entirely too much violence.
"You are insufferable." Effie huffed.
"'Couldn't know she was here." he grumbled. "Since when are you two having nightly chats anyway?"
"Since she's angry with you." she retorted, trying to arrange the disturbed blankets on her bed. She glanced at Haymitch who seemed perfectly happy to stay on his back on the other bed. "Are you sleeping over there?"
The question was rhetorical but he sighed and puffed in annoyance all the same when he got off the bed and up into hers, barely stopping long enough to take off his shoes.
"My head is gonna burst." he complained in a mutter, switching off the lamps and trying to get into a comfortable position which wasn't a given with such a narrow bed.
"I thought it was your back that was troubling you." she pointed out.
"Both." he grunted.
"Well... I suppose I can help with your back." she granted. He breathed out in relief at that offer. It took a lot of maneuvering but he ending up on his stomach while she straddle his thighs, head bent low not to bump on the ceiling, her fingers kneading the flesh of his back. He was very tensed and she wasn't an expert at massages but he relaxed almost immediately.
"What did she want?" he asked, after a few minutes.
"Actually, I am not sure." she confessed. She very much doubted Katniss had come for a hairstyle session or to discuss Haymitch's faults. "She asked about what it felt like to be in love..."
"Ah." he snorted "Is she starting to figure it out or what?"
It had been clear to both of them for some time now that her feelings for Peeta were more romantic than friendly.
"I don't know." she hummed, working on a knot under his shoulder blade. He kept hissing but he didn't tell her to stop so she increased the pressure. "She asked about my past experiences."
"'Told her about your I-don't-know-how-many failed engagements, did you?" he taunted. "Or about your hundred-and-something lovers? Did she realize you're not as prim and proper as you claim, Princess?"
"I told her about the only one man I truly ever loved." she snapped with annoyance. "I told her it was hopeless and that it didn't stop me from loving him." She had hoped it would bring the girl comfort when she thought about Peeta to know he was probably still loving her from afar but she wasn't sure she had done the right thing. "She said I am stupid to love someone who will never love me back and she's not wrong."
She rested her hands at the small of his back, her thumb retracing the small scar in a crescent shape right above the waistband of his pants, and waited for him to speak.
"Why the present tense, sweetheart?" he mocked. "You're still in love with that guy? Should I be jealous?"
She detected something under the taunting, something cold and sharp like jealousy. She didn't think anything about it, Haymitch was possessive, that was all.
"Don't play daft." she whispered.
His hand blindly felt around behind him for her arm and then, once it coiled around it, tugged until she was lying down on him, her head nestled between his shoulder blades. When he spoke, she could hear the frown in his voice. "I don't get it, sweetheart."
"I'm tired of pretending just to make you feel less guilty about using me." she scoffed.
"Using you?" he repeated in a growl. "You make me sound like a fucking predator. I never forced you to do anything, did I?"
"You know what I mean." she hissed.
"No, I don't." he snapped back.
"Fine. I will spell it for you then." she spat. "I am talking about my feelings for you and your lack of feelings for me."
There was a long silent on his part. Effie wished she could take the words back. They had a status quo, implicit rules that their relationship was to be made of sex only.
"Sweetheart..." he said more softly than she had expected. "I brought you here. You think I would have gone to all the trouble of getting you immunity if I hadn't cared about you? 'Cause let me tell you negotiating with that Coin woman is a pain."
"You care about me like you care about your other friends." she accepted. "It is not the same sort of love, Haymitch."
She felt him stir and wordlessly slip off him and pressed herself against the wall so he had enough room to turn. He rolled on his side and gathered her against him, planting a kiss on her mouth.
"Katniss's right." he mumbled against her lips. "You're stupid."
"Why, thank you." she pouted.
"Effie..." he breathed out, brushing his fingertips against her cheek. "Think. I brought you here, I sleep in your room even when we don't have sex, I bark at any of those puppy soldiers that trail after you..."
She frowned. "What are you trying to say? Because if you're saying what I think you are saying only to spare my feelings..."
"Yeah, sure, I always spare your feelings, right?" he deadpanned.
"Are you serious?" she insisted.
"Sweetheart, if you think I don't..." he stopped and sighed. "It's not unrequited."
Something warm exploded in her chest and she grabbed his head and kissed him full of the mouth until she couldn't breathe. There was no skill to the kiss and she could feel his chuckles against her lips, one of his hand cradled the back of her head so he could deepen the kiss more easily.
She had never been as happy as in that moment and she wished, with all her heart, that Katniss would find out the same happiness.