Prompt : Do Panem people have smart phones? Because if you think they have, can you write a chapter where they sext? And one of them doesn't get it and replies totally awkward stuff? Please ;)
Sexting
The insistent bip bip at full volume alerted him of a new message. With a sigh, Haymitch placed down his bottle and his book and lazily looked around for the mobile phone Effie had sworn he needed. He had argued, he had dug his heels in, he had flat out refused… And she had still showed up one day with one of them, stating that his phone in the kitchen – in perfect working order because she wouldn't allow otherwise – was out of fashion, and that he needed to learn to text. He had learned grudgingly how to use the phone if only because he found it easier to send texts than to actually call people. It was quicker, it didn't require him to talk to anybody and it was easier to ignore them than to listen to the sharp ringing of his kitchen phone.
Effie still called every night, of course, but he didn't mind those calls so much. Five years after the rebellion, he was ready for her to stop dividing her time between Twelve and the Capitol but didn't quite know how to make her understand she should just move in.
The phone had been left on the coffee table, between a pile of books, an empty mug of coffee and the TV remote. He grabbed it and flopped back down on his back on the couch, his feet crossed at the ankles on the armrest.
New message from Pain In The Ass, the phone claimed. He narrowed his eyes as he opened it, always a little clumsy with the fancy device. The screen was cracked in the upper right corner already – and he wasn't impatient to explain that to her. He wasn't impatient for her to discover his new nickname either.
Pain In The Ass: What are you wearing? Xo Xo
That was an odd question. He shot a glance at his socks clad feet and at the big toes poking out of them and craned his neck to look behind him at the living-room threshold. No one was there. The silence in the house had that particular tinge of loneliness to it… She wasn't there. And neither were the kids to tell on him.
A lie wouldn't hurt. She had a tendency to baby him sometimes. Forcing him to get showers and to do laundry… And, yeah, maybe she sometimes had a point about the showers and the laundry. Speaking of, he was behind on that and he should probably do it before she either showed up or Katniss found the dirty pile of clothes and sheets hidden behind the stairs and called Effie – because Katniss had no qualm ratting him out to Effie.
Me: Clean clothes.
Tiny lie, he decided. The boxers and the sweater were clean. She didn't need to know about the holes in his socks or the stained pants.
Her message arrived before the screen even had time to go black and was immediately followed by another one.
Pain In The Ass: Good.
Pain In The Ass: Don't you want to know what I am wearing?
He rolled his eyes, his eyes briefly shooting up to the time in the upper corner of the phone and making the automatic conversion to her time zone. It was eleven p.m. here which made it eight p.m. in the Capitol. Party time probably.
Me: Something ridiculous.
It was a shame texting didn't convey sarcasm as well as a phone call could.
A few seconds passed before she answered.
Pain In The Ass: My red nightgown. Your favorite. ;) ;)
One day he would have to ask her about all those smiley things. Although the wink was self-explanatory.
He frowned though and checked the time again.
Me :U r in bed already?
Was she sick? Effie in a nightgown before eight pm wasn't quite right even after the war. He also fully expected her to lecture him about using proper word even if it was the point to be short while texting.
Pain In The Ass:I am now…
Pain In The Ass: What shall I do?
His frown deepened. She made absolutely no sense at all.
Me: Close your eyes.
Again it was a shame sarcasm didn't go through. Did she need him to explain how to sleep now? He put his phone down and grabbed his book only to be interrupted by the insistent bip bip.
Pain In The Ass: They're closed.
He snorted.
Me: If they were closed U wouldn't type.
He waited but no reply came. When the screen went dark, he placed it on his stomach and opened his book. Of course, it biped again before he had time to read a single sentence.
Pain In The Ass: I think you're quite missing the point here.
Pain In The Ass: Anyway, I just took off my nightgown.
That was an enticing idea. Naked Effie was his favorite Effie. Creamy flesh, secret curves, smooth skin…
But she wasn't making any sense and he was starting to get worried.
Me: U r sick or something ?
He didn't have to wait for her reply.
Pain In The Ass: Missing the point completely.
Pain In The Ass: Remind me to teach you about sexting.
Sexting…
Me: What's that?
He felt so confused by her messages he had half a mind to call her – which would be a first because she was usually the one making all the calls.
Pain In The Ass: Exactly what it sounds like.
Oh, he thought as he re-read her messages. Yeah, he had missed the point entirely.
Me: If you were here, we wouldn't need to sext.
Me: When R U coming?
Sexting might be fun but it wasn't appealing. Not when he was missing her so much it was an ache in his chest. He wanted to be able to touch her, kiss her, and argue with her face to face.
Pain In The Ass: I might be on the train.
He blinked and re-read that text three times.
Me: U were in ur bed 3 seconds ago.
He was wrong, he mused, sarcasm did carry rather well by messages.
Pain In The Ass: Did anyone never tell you not to believe everything a beautiful woman say, darling?
Pain In The Ass: I was missing you. Took a train. Bored to tears.
Pain In The Ass: There's a woman with two children on the other side of the aisle. She's letting them run wild.
Pain In The Ass: They're little brats, Haymitch. They keep screaming.
His eyes grew wide as he realized she might have been lying before but she wasn't now. He scrambled up in a sitting position and took a good hard look around. The living-room was in total disarray, as was the rest of the house but he supposed she expected this. The dirty dishes and laundry however…
Me: Where R U?
He hastily picked up the days old dishes on the coffee table and by the couch, wrinkling his nose at the stench, and dropped everything in the sink.
Pain In The Ass: District Eleven. Will be there in a couple of hours.
A couple of hours wasn't much but it was better than what he expected. He had half been afraid she would tell him the train was pulling in the station as they texted. He filled the sink with hot water, adding as much soap as possible before pushing all the other dirty dishes in it. It was threatening to spill but… Well, he had more urgent preoccupations.
Pain In The Ass: I have never been more grateful our children are behaved.
Pain In The Ass: If Katniss or Peeta acted up like that I would scold them so hard their ears would bleed. That boy tried to steal my lipstick and the woman didn't even blink.
He rolled his eyes.
Me: They're 22. They're past stealing lipstick.
Me: Still acting up, though.
Me: Katniss's throwing fits abt the puppy Peeta brought back.
She secretly loved the puppy, he and Peeta had decided, but she didn't like that he peed everywhere and used her bow as a chew toy. Peeta was confident that once the dog was old enough to go hunting with her, they would be inseparable though.
Pain In The Ass: Well, he should have asked first.
He typed his reply with fingers dripping with soapy water. He was making a sloppy job of the dishes but the point was that they would be done when she would arrive.
Me: Taking the girl's side? Not like U.
Me: Where R U now?
He finished the dishes and hurried to put the dirty laundry in the washing machine. That was harder than planned, not enough room for all of it.
Pain In The Ass: He should have asked first.
Pain In The Ass: Bring back an untrained puppy without asking me and I might kill you.
Pain In The Ass: Still in 11. Are you cleaning up the house before I arrive so I won't figure out you have been lying all this time when you said you were taking care of it?
He hid whatever laundry wouldn't fit in the machine in the cellar, figuring she wouldn't go there.
Me: No.
The answer was so immediate he was sure she had typed it even before reading his.
Pain In The Ass: Liar.
Pain In The Ass: I love you anyway.
Pain In The Ass: If only because you never gave me two brats who are now singing at the top of their lungs. Our children would never behave like this.
He smirked at that, shaking his head with some fondness. With the years, she had developed a tendency to forget Katniss and Peeta weren't really theirs.
Pain In The Ass: You would think the mother would say something.
He climbed the stairs two by two and didn't lose anytime in kicking wayward clothes under the bed before stripping it off its sheets.
Me: Haven't told them off yet?
He hid those in the cellar with the rest.
Pain In The Ass: Of course, I did. Them and the mother. Twice each.
Pain In The Ass: It wasn't effective.
Pain In The Ass: That train can't come in soon enough. I have a headache.
Pain In The Ass: I need you to meet me at the station.
She wouldn't arrive before one a.m. probably. He would have gone all the same if only because she would have been at risk of breaking an ankle with those heels of hers in the middle of the night but she didn't usually ask.
Me: Why?
He could almost see the eye roll in her text.
Pain In The Ass: Because it's only proper.
Pain In The Ass: And because I have a lot of luggage.
He rolled his eyes then.
Me: Wardrobe is full of ur stuff. Why need more?
That was a stupid question, naturally.
Pain In The Ass: Fashion.
Pain In The Ass: Amongst other things.
Pain In The Ass: We need to talk.
He looked around the bedroom distractedly. There were a lot of empty bottles although not as many as in the past but he picked those out too and took them out with the rest of the trash.
Me: U talk all the time.
She always wanted to talk. Her high-pitched voice was the most annoying sound he had ever had the displeasure to hear. And he missed it.
Pain In The Ass: I'm serious.
Pain In The Ass: I've done something… I'm not sure you will approve.
Pain In The Ass: It was a bit of a rash decision.
He lifted his eyebrows, taken aback by that.
Me: U don't do rash.
She planned. All the time. Everything. She had a schedule for every day of her life and when she didn't have to follow one, she put one together anyway.
Me: What did U do?
He had enough time to try and tidy up the living-room by the time she answered. It was half an hour past midnight and it wouldn't be long until the train arrived.
Pain In The Ass: I rented out my apartment, I packed my things and I sent them to Twelve on express. They should be here tomorrow morning.
Pain In The Ass: I know I should have asked but I missed you and you weren't hinting at wanting me with you full time and I can't live like that anymore. I want to be with you and the children. Don't be angry.
He stared at the screen, stunned.
Pain In The Ass: Are you angry?
Pain In The Ass: Please, don't be angry.
Pain In The Ass: My battery is dying. Will be here in half an hour.
Being angry was far from his mind.
He pocketed his phone and hurried to make sure she wouldn't kill him over the state of the house – under normal circumstances, he wouldn't care much but she had a history of going on sex strikes when he made too much of a mess.
At one a.m. sharp, he was at Twelve's station, the only living soul standing on that platform at that time of night.
When the train pulled in, she was the only one to step out and he understood what she meant about luggage. She had four suitcases with her.
"Are you angry?" she winced, as soon as she saw him. "Please, I…"
He kissed her.
That was something a phone call or a text could never replace.
That was something he was eager to do every day for the rest of his life, as mushy as it sounded.
No, he had never thought he would start a brand new life one day. No, he had never thought it would be with her. But his feelings for Effie, even if he had never shared them, were clear in his head, they had been clear ever since the months passed in Thirteen worrying about her. He wanted her. He wanted that new life with her.
He didn't want any more sexting or endless phone calls when they fought only to push back as long as possible the moment when they would have to say goodnight.
He wanted her, plain and simple.