Prompt : OH MY GOD PLEASE WRITE IT. effie being with haymitch after the war and her mom having to live there too. I'd laugh so hard

I just want to make something clear XD I don't own Effie's mother but I do own Elindra. If I see an Elindra Trinket popping around like I've seen other OCs of mine, like Lyssa for instance, I will be pissed. That sounds rude and I'm sorry but I'm tired of creating OCs just so people can come and play with them, that doesn't work that way. The names are distinctive enough and I spent enough time looking for them that when I come across a chara with the same name and the same relation to some canon characters, I get more than suspicious.

This being said, I hope you enjoy this one. It's a bit crack but…

Unwanted Guest

Carrying a pile of logs with a bottle in your hand wasn't easy and Haymitch stumbled, wishing he had the presence of mind to put the liquor down before starting that chore. He was out of wood though and it was chilly at night and he was also a little drunk – hence why it had seemed like a good idea at the time to pick up wood with a bottle in his hand – and he knew he needed to hurry if he didn't want to be busted by Graesy Sae and lectured about not taking proper care of the girl…

He wanted to take proper care of the girl, he simply couldn't. He had failed Katniss too many times. He had failed too many people too many times. He had failed himself too many times. He had spent his time since they had come back to Twelve in an alcohol limbo, trying to forget he was back into that hell hole, trying to forget what he had left behind…

"Haymitch."

He didn't pay the voice any attention, more focused on not dropping the logs than on the various ghosts that plagued him day and night.

"Haymitch."

He froze this time. The annoyed voice was just right, completed with a stomp of high heel on the wooden porch to mark her impatience. He turned his head and there she was, blue dress, blue heels and blue scarf woven in between her blond hair. The right shade of blue too. Perfect match for her eyes.

"Effie." he breathed out instinctively.

"I escorted Peeta back." she explained tentatively, looking down. "I was hoping… You said… Well… The Capitol is an absolute hell, right now. It's impossible to find a place to live without having to sell one of your kidneys and… You did offer…"

He had asked her to come back with him. And she had refused. And he had drunk to forget. And now there she was and he didn't even care about the months of anguish. He tossed the logs aside, put down the bottle and joined her in three big strides. He wrapped his arms around her before he could think twice about it. It felt like home. She felt like home more than his house could ever be.

"You're staying." he said out loud marveling at the fact. And Peeta was back. They would be together again, the four of them. His team, his family… "Fuck, I missed you."

She clung to his shoulders, burying her face in his neck with a sigh. "I missed you too. So much."

"Well…" he chuckled. "I figure we're never going to miss each other again. I don't give us two days to want to kill each other."

She chuckled too but a little more nervously. "About that… I don't think you understand… It's not simply me… I couldn't leave her behind! Father is dead and Lyssa just lost her husband, she is in no state to take care of her on top of things, and the house was destroyed in the bombings. My apartment building has been judged dangerous, they're about to demolish it and the places we looked at… The prices, Haymitch! I don't know how anyone can afford that anymore… And…"

"What are you talking about?" he frowned.

He got his answer when a high-pitched voice even more annoying than Effie's echoed in his backyard.

"If you are quite finished with this improper display, Euphemia, perhaps the drunk could take my luggage to my room."

He let go of Effie to study the voice's owner: polished pink high heels, puffy lacy dress, sunglasses that ate half her face but did nothing to hide the amount of plastic pumped in her cheeks, lips and brow, a bright red fancy hairdo that was obviously a wig although more natural than anything he had seen in the Capitol – fashion must have changed – and a disgusted pout glued to her mouth.

He knew without having to ask that he was facing Effie's mother.

"Oh, hell no, sweetheart." he spat.

Effie winced. "It's only temporary. Once Lyssa…"

"No." he snapped.

"Well, how rude!" the Capitol woman huffed. "Would your oaf of a victor truly leave us to the streets, Euphemia? Perhaps we should try your younger victor, he was charming."

Effie moved as if to rub her eyes but aborted the move at the last possible moment, probably to spare her make-up.

"It would help if you would address Haymitch politely and directly, Mother." she hissed.

"I am afraid I can't. I have yet to be introduced." the mother retorted. "I swear too many years spent with those ruffians have tarnished your manners, girl."

Effie took a deep breath. "Haymitch, this is my mother Elindra Trinket. Mother, this is Haymitch Abernathy."

Elindra waited pointedly.

Effie nudged him.

Haymitch had no idea what the both of them expected of him so he turned back to his escort. "No way."

She pursed her lips, narrowed her eyes and tilted her head. "Well, then we will need to go to Peeta. I hate to trouble him, the poor dear, but I can't very well leave my mother without a roof over her head."

"She's loaded." he pointed out.

"The rudeness!" Elindra gasped.

"I don't think there is really a wealthy Capitol citizen left, Haymitch." Effie argued. "Peace isn't fair for everyone."

They escaped another bunch of Games, he didn't see what they had to complain about. His eyes darted from Effie to her mother, torn. He wanted her to stay but the mother…

"Temporary, yeah?" he almost pleaded.

"No longer than a month. I promise." Effie breathed out in obvious relief. "Once Lyssa is better, she will go back."

"I don't imagine I will last a month." Elindra huffed. "This place is so… rustic."

He was already regretting this. "She can carry her own luggage."

He ended up carrying Elindra's suitcases anyway because the woman clearly expected Effie to do the heavy lifting if he wasn't going to do it and Effie was still recovering.

"I suppose this will have to do." the Capitol woman pouted once she was in the guestroom, after having criticized and complained about the state of his house on the way. "Effie, do be a dear and either find some hired help to do the cleaning or grab a mop and do it yourself if your oaf won't see to it."

"Stop calling him an oaf if you would, Mother." Effie hissed through clenched teeth.

She was ignored.

It was almost fascinating to watch – or it would have been if Haymitch hadn't been so close to strangling the woman already – because he had never known anyone who could take a upper hand over Effie Trinket.

"Where is your room?" Elindra frowned. "I do hope it's close to mine."

Haymitch lifted his eyebrows. That wasn't something he had even considered. He only had the one guestroom and if Effie wanted a room to herself then…

"The master bedroom is down the corridor, Mother." she answered without missing a beat.

Haymitch relaxed a little.

"Oh, is he leaving you his room?" the Capitol woman hummed, distracted by her inspection of the dusty curtains. "That's surprisingly gentlemanly of him."

"We will share." Effie said and Haymitch wished she hadn't. With the hours he kept, they would probably have gotten away with it.

"Certainly not!" Elindra snapped, turning around. "How improper! Think of what people would say! The scandal!" She narrowed her eyes at him and very much glared. "If this is an expected form of payment for our staying…"

"You shut your mouth right here." he growled, more angry than he had been in a while. He had gathered from his escort's rare mentions of her family over the years that they weren't particularly nice to her but was that how they thought of her? "You want to stay in this house, you watch how you talk about Effie, hear me?"

Effie pinched the bridge of her nose and gently but firmly pushed him out of the room.

"I appreciate the sentiment but you are not helping." she whispered. "Just ignore her, alright?"

Ignoring Elindra Trinket proved to be an impossible challenge.

And with each day that passed, Haymitch was ready to tear her apart limb by limb.

He hated the way Effie acted around her. She had always been a confident woman, often to the point of arrogance, but around her mother… The side comments about her looks, behavior and life-choices were constant. And instead of tearing her a new one – like he had watched her do a thousand times with anyone who would dare criticize her to her face – she submitted to the verbal abuse, apologized and usually ended up caving to whatever it was her mother wanted. He hated it. They fought about it but he stopped saying anything because every time he confronted her mother, she played buffer and she always ended up in tears. Eventually, he started going to the unused study to drink himself into oblivion every time that kind of scenes happened.

Elindra, on the other hand, was very much happy to ignore him. With her, it was like he was a ghost. She never spoke to him, she never even looked at him… It was like he was a speck of dirt on her otherwise impeccable shoe. She hated him almost as much as he hated her though. He figured she hated the thought of him with her daughter even more. It was probably the only point on which Effie refused to give in to her wishes and actually stood her ground.

Elindra stayed a whole month and spent the last week trying to convince her daughter to go back to the Capitol with her, arguing Lyssa could host them both.

Effie was hell bent on refusing and Haymitch knew it wouldn't go down that easily so he wasn't particularly surprised when Elindra followed him to the backyard one night. He headed straight for the geese pen with his bag of grains, wondering if the birds would eat her…

"You don't deserve her." she spat. "She's too good for you."

It was, perhaps, the fourth time in a month of acquaintance that she had lowered herself to talking to him. It figured she would say that. He almost wanted to laugh.

"Maybe I don't and maybe she is." he chuckled darkly. "But at least I don't treat her like a piece of shit."

"Your language is abhorrent." she retorted. "As is your manners, your lack of education… I didn't raise her to live in the rear of the country playing country wife to an ignorant oaf of a drunkard."

He watched her, more amused than vexed. It would take more than that to hurt him. People like her had looked down at him his whole life, barely finding a saving grace in the fact he had been clever enough to survive forty-eight kids. The opinion of people like her didn't concern him at all.

"Oh, I beg your pardon, did I hurt your feelings?" she sneered. "You District people are so susceptible."

"My feelings ain't hurt, sweetheart." he scoffed, his grammar slipping in the burning desire to annoy her. "I'm just wondering how someone like you can have a kid like her."

"Yes, well…" She waved that comment off. "Lyssa inherited my beauty. Effie always struggled to act like a proper lady. She would have run wild if I had let her. That girl could never obey properly. I told her she had no real future in modeling and I was proved right. I told her she shouldn't accept the escort's position because she would never manage to get a promotion and again I was proved right. And yet she is still not listening to me."

"Maybe 'cause she knows everything you say is bullshit." he snarled, emptying the bag of grains in the pen. Let the geese manage by themselves for a night. "What do you want?"

It was almost painful to look at her. She was so pumped with plastic and surgical enhancement she barely looked human. That was the beauty Effie has so often sighed after over the years, never actually daring cross the line and get surgery – something he had always been thankful for. Elindra's blue eyes looked natural though and they were so similar to Effie's he forced himself to look away.

"You love her." she said very simply. "And since you love her, you should want the best for her. Tell her she is not welcome in your house anymore, tell her to go back to the Capitol with me."

He burst out laughing.

He laughed so hard tears ran down his cheeks.

He actual had to grab his stomach not to double over because of the stitch in his side.

"I fail to see the humor in the situation." she drawled out with obvious irritation.

"Yeah? No kidding." he snorted, leaning against the pen to recover. "You really thought that would work? You really thought I would agree to this?"

"Not without a price, no." she declared. "But I am willing to pay whatever amount you wish for."

He would have started laughing again if that hadn't been so pathetic.

"You can't buy me." he scowled.

She clicked her tongue. "Everyone can't be bought, Mr Abernathy. It's just a matter of finding the right price."

He couldn't believe her.

"No, you don't get it." He said in his colder voice. "I'm never telling Effie to leave because as long as she wants it to be, this is her home. And I would be very careful, if I were you, 'cause I'm not sure she would like to know you've tried to bribe me into leaving her. Not sure she would be surprised though."

"You won't tell her." she scoffed. "It would hurt her feelings."

"I hurt her feelings plenty of times in the past. Used to be a hobby of mine." he snapped. "I'm sick and tired of the way you talk to her, of the way you make her feel… You're going to get the fuck away from my house as soon as you can, get it? And you're going to be nice to her until then or I promise you I will make sure she never wants to see you again."

"Effie will always choose her family." Elindra scowled.

"Yeah. She will." he agreed. "Unfortunately for you, me and the kids, we're her family too. And since we don't spend our time putting her down, I'd say we've got better chances of being picked."

"I want what is best for my daughter and you are not it." she hissed.

"Neither are you, sweetheart." he retorted.

She pursed her plastic pumped lips in irritation. "You won't be swayed."

"No." he chuckled. "I won't lose her again. I don't care who I have to fight."

He certainly wasn't scared of fighting her. He didn't punch women as a rule but, for her, he would gladly make an exception.

He was never as happy as when she walked out the door with her ton of luggage.