Prompt : Hi, I love all your hayffie works! If you're still taking prompts could you PLEASE do a continuation of the chapter "Spoilers" from 'Have Another Drink Sweetheart'? I would just love for a story where they're timelines still aren't synced but this time Haymitch is the one ahead and is frustrated because she has no idea about their last adventure... or something... Just some Doctor/River Hayffie goodness. Thanks!

"Spoilers" was chapter 235 and was a Doctor Who AU that took place at the end of season 6 after The Wedding Of River Song but before The Doctor, The Widow and The Wardrobe. I recommend reading that one first but it should be understandable as a stand-alone, I suppose.

The Archeology Student

The Doctor loved to talk but Haymitch didn't mind it as long as it was interesting.

He had requested a calm outing this time : no running, no life or death situations, no overgrown saltshakers who wanted to exterminate everything. Life in the TARDIS was never dull but it could be a tad too much sometimes. All the more so for an old drunk who was trying to cut down on liquor – how could he not when the Doctor gave him that disappointed look every time he took a swing out of his flask? Haymitch hated being manipulated but the Doctor was a master at it even though Haymitch didn't think he was doing it on purpose. Being one of the Time Lord's companions… It made you special and it made you want to rise up to his expectations, you wanted to impress him. Disappointing him? Well it was the worst case scenario.

The huge library they were visiting was apparently the second largest library in the universe – Haymitch had asked about the first but the Doctor had eluded and had looked so haunted afterwards that he had figured it wasn't a good topic – and they were strolling in the archeology section. The Doctor had been keeping a steady discourse about architecture, books, and humans but soon stopped to make a face – the same face a five years old would have made confronted with a plate of Brussels sprouts.

"I hate archeology." the Time Lord declared.

"Your wife is an archeologist." he scoffed.

"Precisely." the Doctor sighed dejectedly, then a huge smile brightened his face and he whacked Haymitch on the arm repeatedly to get his attention. "Look! Speak of the devil…"

Haymitch barely had time to spy Doctor Song's characteristic mane of hair before the Doctor was gone. He rolled his eyes, wondering if he had brought them here on purpose. Second largest library in the universe, archeology section… It wasn't such a brainer. And if River Song was there, it meant they would soon be swept up in another adventure. So much for a calm outing.

Leaving the Doctor and his wife to their reunion, he looked around, a slow smirk stretching his lips when he found what he was hoping for. He had been traveling with the Doctor for give or take six months now – it was difficult to keep track in a time machine – and he was very well acquainted with Doctor Song and her lovely assistant. Effie Trinket was a pain in the ass more often than not but, it turned out, he wouldn't have it any other way. How could he when she had kissed him two seconds after he had seen her for the first time? He had been smitten from the get go and it had only gotten worse from there.

She was standing next to one of the huge mahogany tables, studying one of the several books scattered there, clearly lost to her researches. She was wearing a pink wig cut in a short bob. It had been a while since he had seen her wearing wigs but she tended to blend in the fashion of whatever timeframe she and River were visiting.

She didn't notice him approaching, completely focused on her books.

He wrapped his arms around her from behind her, pressing his chest against her back and dropping a soft kiss on her shoulder. "Hey, sweetheart."

He wasn't expecting the slap and he didn't see it coming either. His head turned to the side with the strength of it. He reached for his cheek with trembling fingers. "What the…" Another slap came from the other side, almost resembling a punch and he barely managed to block the third hit. "What the fuck?" he hissed. "If it's about that woman at the bar again, I told you already…"

"Bar?" she repeated. "Well, it figures. You are drunk."

He worked his jaw open and closed, not sure she hadn't made lasting damages with her fists. The astonishing number of rings on her fingers alone were dangerous. "Don't be stupid. Of course, I'm not. You know I've been trying to cut off."

"I will thank you not to insult me and drunk or not is no excuse to grope unaware women." she retorted, folding her arms over her chest. She looked him up and down. "I have no wish for you to grope me anyway. You are very unkempt. You should shave."

"Not what you said last time." he scoffed. "You liked it well enough when I… Wait, where are you?"

That was a pain.

They never met in the right order.

"On Faralay…" she answered slowly, as if he was especially dumb. "Are you drunk or concussed?"

"I meant in our timeline." He rolled his eyes.

Last time he had seen her, they had had sex for the first time – in the back of a ship about to crash, locked in a room while the Doctor and River ran around and saved the day, in a frantic we're about to die way and, admittedly, it had been his best experience in the last decade; he would have had a repeat on the TARDIS but Effie almost had an aneurism when he suggested it, talking about time vortex and TARDIS children and things he had only half understood like part Time Lords people.

"Of course, you did." she nodded. "I do apologize but I have no time to entertain lunatics today, I actually have important researches to conduct."

She turned back to her books and acted as if he wasn't there.

Haymitch didn't like being ignored.

"Why are you acting like such a bitch?" he growled. "We were fine last time I saw you…"

"Sir, I've never seen you before." she sighed, her piercing blue eyes nailing him on the spot. "And given how rude you are, I have no wish to."

"What?" he shouted, probably a little too loud given the glaring it got him from various people in the room. Right, library.

"Haymitch! Haymitch!" the Doctor suddenly appeared next to him, a little out of breath as if he had run all the way there, gesturing widely between him and Effie. "We're way back in their timeline. She doesn't know us yet."

"You don't say." he spat.

"I do say." the Doctor confirmed, ignoring the sarcasm, before extending a hand to Effie who was now looking positively pissed that her day of researching had been interrupted not by one but two mad men. "Hi! Nice to meet you. I'm the Doctor. And you're Effie Trinket, of course. Have you met my wife?"

River was just behind the Doctor and greeted Haymitch with a small curious nod. There was no spark of recognition in her eyes, she didn't know him either.

"Doctor Song!" Effie squeaked. "I am such a big admirer of your work!"

River's eyes twinkled with amusement as she seized up the woman. "Are you an archeology student?"

"Oh, yes!" Effie beamed. "I am specializing in historic fashion."

"Boring." the Doctor mouthed behind her back and Haymitch could only nod silently in answer.

"Really?" River asked. "That's interesting. What are you working on?"

And that was how Effie managed to drive River's attention to a lost cursed tiara that the Doctor immediately decided they needed to retrieve. Effie looked lost but she never hesitated when River offered her to come with them.

Twenty-four hours, two near-death experiences, and too much running later, River offered her a job as her assistant and Effie accepted with a beaming smile.

The last thing she did before leaving the TARDIS was drop a kiss on Haymitch's cheek.

"Next time, maybe I will let you grope me properly." she giggled in his ear.

"You have no idea, sweetheart." he snorted.

She winked and followed River out of the TARDIS and on to their next adventure.

He watched her go with something akin to longing, wishing they could just stop meeting like this. He wouldn't have admitted it out loud but he missed her when she was away.

The Doctor was watching him with a knowing grin.

"Shut up." Haymitch warned.

The Time Lord lifted his hands in the air and pulled on a lever. "All of time and space. Where are we going?"

It took him only a heartbeat to concede defeat. "Can we find an older Effie?"

The knowing grin turned into open amusement but the Doctor made a great show of pressing buttons and pulling on levers. "Geronimo!"

Haymitch took that as a yes.