Prompt: Post mockingjay Hayffie with the song Missing You by All Time Low.
Missing Out
I heard that you've been
Self-medicating in the quiet of your room,
Your sweet, suburban tomb.
And if you need a friend,
I'll help stitch up your wounds.
He wishes he could say he's surprised when he gets the call from the Capitol but he isn't. He has left her behind again, broken in a thousand pieces, and it is not so strange that she hasn't managed to pull herself together. Worrying, yes, because she is Effie Trinket and there's nothing she can't do but not strange.
He takes the first train to the city and he stands in her hospital room before twenty-four hours have even passed.
"Overdose? Really, sweetheart?" he scoffs. "Not really your style, is it?"
She takes his hand and he brings her home.
I heard that you've been
Having some trouble finding your place in the world.
I know how much that hurts,
But if you need a friend
Then please just say the word…
People spit at her feet in the streets. She's either a traitor or a monster, there is no in-between. There's no place for her in this new Panem but Haymitch will be damned if he lets that stop him from finding one for her anyway. He takes her to Twelve, he shelters her from the worst of the hatred people come up with and he sends the kids out to explain she's not the enemy. She never was the enemy.
He can't do anything for the pain that haunts her aside for hoping being with family will chase it away.
You've come this far,
You're all cleaned up,
You've made a mess again,
She's been sober for a whole month when a nasty comment from a woman in the street sends her home crying. He's half tempted to punch the old hag. He hates when people call her a children murderer even if he has used the term more than once in the past.
She has her flaws and she had made wrong choices but she is not a murderer. She has a gentle soul. And she cared about the kids. More than he had at times.
Still, he's not surprised to find her in the bathroom popping pills when he comes home.
There's no more trying,
Time to sort yourself out…
They have a huge argument.
They always had their fights but this one is a particularly bad one. She slaps him and he raises his hand in retaliation before letting it fall, defeated and disgusted with himself for even entertaining the thought of hitting her. He doesn't want to hurt her, has never wanted to hurt her. It calms them down.
She says it's not fair to expect more from her than he can do himself.
He wants to save her this time.
There is something liberating in pouring every bottle of liquor he owns down the drain.
Terrifying too.
Hold on tight,
This ride is a wild one,
Make no mistake,
The day will come when you can't cover up what you've done,
There is something worse than being in withdrawal : it's being in withdrawal with someone who is also in withdrawal.
They argue all day, snap at each other, swear they're done with the other, crawl to the other when the pain and the exhaustion become too bad, cry against the other's shoulder and yell when it all becomes too much. There is no hiding from their demons in sobriety.
By the end of the first week, the kids are ready to tear their hair out.
By the end of the fifth, Haymitch finally stop feeling like he's about to die.
Now don't lose your fight, kid,
It only takes a little push to pull on through,
With so much left to do;
You'll be missing out, and we'll be missing you.
She's the one who has the more difficulties letting go of her clutch. After two decades of increasing alcoholism, Haymitch thought it would have been harder to stop but the decision is actually easy when she needs him so much. He drags her kicking and screaming into sobriety.
He's scared sometimes, of what she will do, of those silences she closes herself in for hours…
She says she has nothing left to live for. He calls her a stupid blind bitch. He is not nothing and neither are the kids.
She never says those words again.
She starts trying instead.
Grit your teeth, pull your hair,
Paint the walls black and scream, "Fuck the word
'Cause it's my life, I'm gonna take it back,"
And never for a second blame yourself.
They learn everything again together. They learn how to be happy without feeling guilty, they learn to shout for the injustice of it without letting the grief consume them, they learn it's okay to be angry as long as they don't let the anger wreck them…
It is not easy and it is a long road but they learn how to breathe again.
They learn how to heal.
For Haymitch, healing is waking up at her side and going to sleep next to her.
For Effie, healing is accepting there are things she can't change.
They learn how to live.