Prompt : i don't even know why i want to read this but please could you do a heartbreaking divorce (au?) fic, your writing is wonderful!

This was sad.

Love Is Not Enough

She brushed her hand along the dresser in the hall, straightened the painting Peeta had gifted them with that somehow always ended up leaning to the right, and she tried not to feel the moment was ominous. It was hard when two suitcases were waiting for her next to the door with the last of her possessions. Everything else was already on a transport train for the Capitol.

The house was silent and she allowed herself a last tour. It felt odd to think this would never be her home anymore, odd to think she had ever believed it could be otherwise. She wondered how long it would take Haymitch to get rid of her touches, he hated the seashell lamp in the living-room and the baby blue curtains in the bedroom…

When she ran out of excuses to linger in the empty rooms, she crossed the kitchen, pausing long enough to place the bread in its designed box so it wouldn't grow stale. She didn't have to go far to find Haymitch, he was sitting on the back porch steps, nursing a bottle.

"I am ready." she said.

It was a moment before he brought the bottle to his lips.

"Okay." he mumbled, keeping his eyes on the geese roaming freely in the backyard. "You're sure you got everything? Once you're gone, you better stay gone."

That was snarled with nastiness and bitterness but Effie paid it no mind. He was hurting. He always lashed out when he was hurting.

"I wish for us to remain friends." She felt no hatred toward Haymitch, she bore no ill-feelings. They had tried. They had failed, yes, as they should have known they would, but they had tried, both of them. She still loved him. She suspected she would always love him.

"We were never friends." he scoffed.

And perhaps that was the crux of the matter, she thought. They had never been friends. Enemies, yes. Lovers, yes. Allies, yes. Friends? Not really. They had jumped into this thing after the war, jumped in them because it provided them with a sense of familiarity, a support and a clutch to face this new world where she had nightmares and he could still not believe no Reaping would come with the spring. The fights, the bickering and the words of hatred they tossed at each other like children tossed balls were all familiar ground. Toxic, yes. Unhealthy, of course. But familiar. Effie had craved familiar like nothing else after the war.

"Please, Haymitch, can we not make this more difficult than it already is?" she whispered. "I am not enjoying the situation any more than you are."

"I'm not the one leaving." he sneered. "I'm not the one quitting. What do I care if it's difficult for you? You're the one who decided she didn't want anything to do with me anymore."

She closed her eyes. "That's not true."

"Yes, it fucking is!" he snapped, bringing the bottle against the wooden railing in his anger. The glass smashed and he tossed the broken shard left in his hand, bolting to his feet. "Fuck!"

"Are you hurt?" she frowned, reaching out for his hand. She could see blood where he had cut his palm.

He stepped back in the midst of a quacking gaggle of frightened geese. His grey eyes were barely clouded by alcohol but they were filled to the brim with a pain that had nothing to do with his hand.

"Leave me alone." he begged. "Just… Go away. You want to leave, fine, but we're not doing this. We're not…"

He turned away and walked to the pen at the end of the backyard. He tinkered with the geese water tank for a while and then leaned against the wooden planks of the pen, running his uninjured hand over his face.

She was careful when she stepped across the small army of birds with teeth who liked to honk and flap their wings at her. He heard her approach, she wasn't exactly discreet with her heels.

"Effie, please." he sighed. "Just leave."

"I can't leave when you're in pain…" she countered. "You…"

"I'm in pain because of you." he growled.

"I know." she whispered. "I know and I am sorry. I am trying to do what is best for both of us. I…"

"What's best for both of us?" he snorted coldly, his eyes darting from the new wig on her head to the heels on her feet – she was ready for the Capitol. "You're only looking out for you, sweetheart. That's all you've ever done."

"It's not true." she argued defensively. "Haymitch, your drinking…"

"We're back to that?" he scowled. "You knew what you were signing for. I never said I would stop. I…"

"I can't watch you destroy yourself." she cut him off. "I love you too much for that."

"Bullshit." he sneered. "You don't leave when you love people, Effie."

Trust Haymitch to finally want to talk things through when she was about to board a train. This had been weeks in coming. She had spent months agonizing over the decision, trying to start a dialogue that he had always refused, preferring to ignore the problem. And now… Now that everything she owned was already gone for the Capitol, now that she was ready and resolved…

"You do when your presence is driving them further down the bottle." she retorted. "We fight, you drink. It's a pattern, don't you see?"

"Yeah, no, I don't." he spat. "I drank before you, I'll drink after you. You've got nothing to do with that." He shook his head, grabbing her arm. "Don't go."

The words seemed to pass his lips unbidden and he dropped his hand immediately after, shuffling on his feet, uncomfortable.

"I have to." she whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat.

"You don't have to do shit." he scorned. "You could stay, you just don't want to. At least be honest."

She licked her lips. "I don't want to fight. All those fights are exhausting me. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I'm second best to you, someone you settled for because I was right here. We've spent all those years fighting, can we not fight when we're about to say goodbye?"

"How am I supposed to say goodbye to you?" he snarled. "I don't want to, you stupid woman. The idea of this empty house…"

"The children will take care of you." she interrupted. "They promised. And I will call. I promise I will call." Her heart was breaking in her chest but she forced a bright smile on her lips. It came easily, she was very practiced at forcing herself to smile. "I am going to miss my train."

She stepped closer and wrapped her arms around his neck. He stood rigid for a whole minute and then embraced her back, holding her so tight she thought she would suffocate.

"Don't go." he begged.

"I love you." she answered in his ear, her voice breaking a little. "I love you like I've never loved anyone and you know this. But I can't go on like that, I am sorry, Haymitch. I tried. I can't."

She framed his face in her hands and pressed a kiss against his lips. It was short and bittersweet and she forced herself not to look back as she tore herself from his arms.

Sometimes, love was simply not enough.