Prompt : May I prompt? What about Effie, Katniss, Johanna and Annie (and everyone else you like) doing girls night chats and talking about boys? And hayffie, of course. Thanks!
This grew serious ;)
Girls Chat
Effie carefully dropped the old frayed blanket on Katniss who had fallen asleep on the couch and went back to sit on the rug in front of the fireplace, next to Johanna. The night was chilly and the amount of alcohol they had drunk wasn't enough to keep them warm. On the armchair, Annie was dozing off.
It was more or less always the same when Annie and Johanna wandered from Four to Twelve. Haymitch and Peeta ended up babysitting – or rather, Peeta ended up babysitting Finn while Haymitch made unhelpful comments – so the women could have a night to themselves. It had been a year and a half since the war and Effie sometimes wondered at how simple her life had become. Four people sharing some tequila had become a party somewhere down the line. The wild party girl in her bristled at the thought.
Jo handed her the bottle and she took a swing without thinking twice about it. The glasses, lemon and salt had been abandoned a while ago. Effie was pleasantly buzzed.
"So, there's this fisherman in Four…" Jo declared, completely out of the blue. "He's hot."
Effie blinked, a little surprised. "Do you like him?"
She was curious. She had never known Johanna to have romantic attachments. Affairs, yes – less than she claimed, Effie knew – but anything resembling commitment was out of the question.
Seven's victor snatched the tequila back and took a long mouthful. "He's hot."
"You already said that." she pointed out.
"He's in love with her." Annie piped in sleepily. "He's a good man. Respectful. She tried to seduce him and he refused."
"Really?" Effie grinned, lifting her eyebrows. "Either you are losing your touch or he is serious about you."
"He's in love with her." Annie insisted. "I think he wants to propose."
"So fast?" she gasped.
Johanna rolled her eyes. "Districts are not the Capitol, Trinket. You don't sleep first and marry later usually."
True. She knew that. Districts were more conservative on that front. Even now, mentalities were slow to change. It wasn't born out of bigotry or a misplaced need to judge their neighbors, she understood, but, before the rebellion, Districts people had next to no access to contraceptive measures and the need to regulate population had been strong. Minds were slow to change. It wasn't considered proper for young women to sleep around. Katniss and Peeta had their fake marriage to protect them from gossip. Effie had been living with Haymitch for a while now but she was a Capitol and Haymitch had never followed the rules so no one cared about what they did or not behind closed doors but she knew it was frowned upon. Graesy Sae was making enough hints that it might be time to tie the knot.
"Well, it is idiotic." she commented. "How are you supposed to know if you… match? Sometimes you fancy yourself in love with someone and sex is simply disappointing. Maybe he is bad in bed." She widened her eyes suddenly. "Oh my, does that mean he is a virgin? Oh, Johanna, you can't possibly go for that… I mean, it can be fun but it gets tedious."
"How would you know?" Jo mocked. "You had a lot of virgins in your time?"
She cleared her throat, her cheeks burning with embarrassment rather than the heat of the fire.
"Finnick wasn't a virgin." Annie hummed from the armchair. "I was."
"And he was all nice and shit, I bet." Johanna snorted. "Flowers and candles and all that crap. I'm wrong?"
Annie's smile was soft but her gaze was faraway. "It was perfect."
"Lucky you." Jo commented and Effie found herself nodding only to be nudged by Seven's victor's elbow. "So. Virgins. How many? Spill."
"One, really, when I was eighteen." she offered. "But men don't need to be actual virgins to have next to no experience, you know."
"Okay, we're talking about Haymitch now, right?" Jo grinned. "You're saying Haymitch is bad in bed."
"No!" she protested fervently. "He is a very good lover." She winced, snatched the bottle of tequila and took a swing before amending. "Now."
"'Cause you trained him." Johanna cackled nastily.
"I had to, didn't I?" she snapped defensively. "I swear he was… This thing about District people not sleeping together before marriage is idiotic. He had almost only one night stands before me and they had taught him nothing more than…"
Her voice faltered, her manners not allowing her to word her thought.
"Be crude, Trinket." Johanna snickered. "We'll survive."
She rolled her eyes – a habit she had picked up from Haymitch. "Let's simply say he knew where to put it and how to find his pleasure. He didn't care about mine or my comfort. And he wasn't the most imaginative as far as positions went. The wall or the floor. Missionary mostly." Her face flushed and she touched her hot skin, feeling guilty about disclosing so intimate details. "I don't think he understood half the pleasure was in foreplay."
"I can't see Haymitch taking nicely to you giving him directions." Johanna snickered, snatching the bottle back.
"I was subtle." Effie grinned. "But really once he realized he actually liked giving me pleasure, it was easier. And he was rough. I never… Capitols men aren't like that even when they're into role-playing or more hard core stuff… There was something true to Haymitch, something I never had before."
"Past tense." Seven's victor noticed. "Trouble in paradise?"
Effie shuffled awkwardly. She hadn't intended to talk about that. She was tipsy bordering on drunk though and, like it or not, Johanna might have been the closest female friend she had now.
"It's different now." she said carefully. "Since the war…" She swallowed hard. "It took a long time to get there again, you know? To be comfortable enough to…"
"Yeah." Jo cut her off, staring at the fire. "Got you loud and clear."
"I find it more difficult to let go now." she confessed, toying with the fringe of the rug. "And… Flashbacks are still easy to trigger. We're… We're different. More… It's slower and sweeter and he is so careful with me… It's not bad, it's really good sometimes but I just wish… I miss what we had before the war. It was easy then. I don't like him treating me like I'm going to break if he is too rough but at the same time, I know there is every chance I will have a breakdown if he gets too rough so…"
"I don't like slow and sweet." Johanna mumbled, bringing the bottle to her lips again. "I bet Sal would be slow and sweet. He's built like a colossus but he has that spark in his eyes, yeah? Like I'm a fragile little thing that needs to be cherished?" She chuckled bitterly. "He's twice my size and I could kill him with my bare hands before he even blinks."
"Do you like him or not?" Effie asked straight out. "Because if you don't…"
"I wanted sex, he offered romance." Jo scowled. "Men are usually happier the other way around."
"Would it be so bad?" she insisted. "Some romance?"
"I don't need a guy who wants to put a ring on my finger so I can give him kids, Trinket." Johanna snapped. "He's probably slow and sweet. I don't like slow and sweet. I don't like guys who assume they're going on top most times. I ride them. Not the other way around. I take what I want. Not the other way around. I'm in charge of my life. Not the other way around."
Effie watched her for a moment but Seven's victor refused to look away from the fire.
"If he doesn't mean anything why did you even bring him up?" she asked.
"I don't know." Jo shrugged.
She glanced at Annie who had finally succumbed to sleep.
"You are lonely." she observed.
"Trapped, more like." Johanna laughed after her own glancing at Four's victor. "She's only half there. She can't be alone with the kid."
"And?" she prompted.
"And I'm fucking angry at Finnick for getting himself killed." the victor spat. "Should have been me. It would have been better for everyone."
"Don't say that." Effie rebuked her. "Don't you dare."
"You shouldn't be alive either." Jo accused. "You would be dead if you hadn't been Haymitch's fuck toy."
She shivered and ignored the impulse to reach for the alcohol. Sometimes she understood only too well how Haymitch had gone down that road. Oblivion was tempting, too tempting.
She had escaped from prison only to fall into Coin's clutches and, yes, she should have been tried and sentenced to death like all the Gamemakers and escorts had been during the Purge. She would have been if not for Haymitch and Plutarch's relentless fighting on her behalf.
"You are always cruel. Some things never change." she commented softly.
"I am what your people made me." Johanna spat and there was no disputing the truth of that statement.
They remained silent for a while, irritated with each other like they often were.
"Romance doesn't mean you surrender to someone else, you know." she stated after a few minutes. "Haymitch isn't my master."
"No, 'cause you're his." she snarled. "You made him your bitch."
The accusation was so preposterous that Effie scoffed. "Please, now it is insulting. We are equal in this relationship."
"Like hell, you are." Jo taunted. "Haymitch was like me before you put a leach on him. He was free. No stupid feelings, no complicated relationship… Just sex and booze."
She stared at the victor and then shook her head. "Sometimes you need to look beyond the surface, Johanna. The sex and the booze were just what he wanted you to see. He always craved love, deep down. He was just scared of it." She stood up on unsteady legs and glanced at the still sleeping Annie and Katniss. "Don't let Annie sleep in the armchair, she will get a crick in the neck. I am going home. I will tell Peeta to keep Finn tonight. You are not in any state to take care of him."
Jo barely acknowledged her, apparently intent on finishing the bottle of tequila by herself.
Effie was drunker than she had thought and she struggled to put her coat on. The ground was frosted and slippery and the walk from the usually inhabited house Jo and Annie were using and hers was treacherous. She almost broke an ankle twice and she was freezing by the time she reached the welcoming warmth of her own house.
She found Haymitch and Peeta in the living-room, sharing a drink of their own. Peeta was having tea, she thought, and the little boy was asleep on the couch, tucked in a sea of blankets and cushions, clutching his stuffed toy against his chest. He was absolutely too cute and she felt a wave of longing like she always did when she saw small children. She crushed it in the bud.
"Back so soon?" Haymitch snorted, lifting his eyebrows. "Thought you would spend the night, sweetheart."
"Could you keep Finn tonight, dear?" she asked Peeta, ignoring his question. "Katniss fell asleep on the couch I'm afraid."
"Sure." Peeta shrugged. "I'll head home now then."
Haymitch was sitting on the armchair closer to the fire and she had intended to sit on the armrest while Peeta gathered the child's toys but she somehow ended up on his lap. It wasn't something they ever did with an audience but her drunken brain told her that she was better there anyway, so she burrowed into his chest, buried her face in his neck and breathed in his comforting smell.
She barely noticed him tensing or Peeta stopping dead in his tracks only to start packing faster.
"Okay." Haymitch commented, wrapping his arms around her. "What happened?"
"Johanna said I made you my bitch and I put a leach on you and it's not true and it upsets me." she readily answered, too tipsy to care. "And she said I'm only alive because I was your fuck toy and that is true and so many people are dead and I don't deserve…"
"Stop right here." he cut her off with a growl. "Don't even finish that."
"Do you need…" Peeta hesitated, looking at Haymitch and at her in turn.
"Peace and quiet." Haymitch snapped. "It's fine, she's just drunk. Never was a happy drunk. Tipsy Effie is fun. Drunk Effie is… Not so fun."
The boy hesitated some more but eventually nodded and picked up the kid, blankets and all. "Goodnight, Effie."
"Goodnight, dear." she sniffed. Her lips were wobbling and she realized that she might very well be about to cry.
She had drunk too much.
She was usually much better at staying collected.
"Sweetheart…" he said as soon as they heard the front door closing. He gently tugged on a strand of hair that had escaped her fancy bun. "You know Johanna talks shit about us, always have, always will. We're good, you and I, right?"
"The best." she mumbled, pressing her face harder against his neck. "I love you so much… So much…" She clutched at his shirt, overcome by such a powerful feeling she almost sobbed with the strength of it. "I love you, I love you, I love you…"
"Yeah, I get the drill." he snorted with fondness, nuzzling her hair with his nose. His arms tightened around her. "Point is : we're good, we work – I don't get how most days but we do. Let her talk, what do we care?"
"But I didn't put a leash on you, did I?" she insisted. "I didn't change you. I told her I didn't but what if I'm wrong… What if I am like her fisherman?"
"Fisherman…" he repeated, confused, and then shrugged. "Look, you changed me, yeah. Just like I changed you. That's what happens when you live together, right? But it's good. It's for the best. Like… I drink less 'cause you're here and you're less stuck up. It's not a bad thing."
"Even if you're afraid I'm going to break if you were to use me like you used to?" she whispered.
There was a moment of silence and she didn't dare look up.
"You're not making any sense and I've no idea what you're talking about." he sighed.
"Sex." she clarified, curling up a little on his lap. "We were talking and…"
"You talked about our sex life?" he frowned with obvious displeasure.
She hesitated. "A little. Because… I'm sad it's not like it was but I also like what we have now."
"Okay… Maybe we should have this conversation when you're sober and I'm drunk." he said. "The other way around isn't working for me."
"It's just… It's simple really…" she insisted, leaning back to look to him. It was simple to her drunk self. "I know you don't want to hurt me but you treat me like I am going to break when we are in bed and maybe I will but maybe I won't, you know? I wouldn't mind… I wouldn't mind less slow and sweet and more rough sometimes. We used to be good at rough."
His face softened a little and he brushed his hand against her cheek. "Last time we tried that, you freaked out."
"I know but…" she stopped, frustrated with herself. "I wish I could be like I used to be."
"Give yourself time." Haymitch advised. Suddenly he narrowed his eyes. "The other thing Jo said, about you being alive because you're my fuck toy…"
Effie dropped her eyes. "You can't say…"
"Nobody deserves to die, Princess. Ever." he cut her off. "Who's to say who deserves to live and die? Who? I just know one thing: to me, losing you would have been the last straw. You would have been one death too many." He hesitated, his hand cupped her chin and his thumb gently ran on her bottom lip. "You… I lost a lot of people in my life. I lost one love once. Twice would have killed me."
It was as if gravity shifted. Her mouth crashed on his as if it was drawn there by a force beyond her control. She could taste the spiked tea he had been drinking all night on his tongue and it made her moan. No doubt could he taste the tequila on hers.
"Can we have sex now?" she mumbled against his mouth.
"You're drunk." he chuckled, responding to her kisses eagerly enough.
"I don't care." she retorted.
"I do." he countered, locking his arms under her bottom and hauling himself out of the armchair. She instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist, holding tight to his shoulders. "Let's get you to bed before you start puking."
"I don't feel sick." she argued.
"Give it time, sweetheart." he mocked. "You drank tequila. You know what tequila does to you."
Tequila did have a tendency to make her sick at some point so she pouted but propped her chin on his shoulder and let him carry her to bed. She didn't relent her grip when he tried to drop her on the comforter and he tumbled on the bed with her.
"Hi." she grinned, stealing a kiss.
"Drunk you is a flirt." he told her, pressing a last kiss against her lips before forcing her to unlock her legs so he could slip her heels off. He undressed her and she let him do as he pleased, trying to steal kisses and cup a feel when she could get away with it. It made him chuckle but by the time he had managed to get her into one of his long sleeve-shirts – because it was too cold for her frilly nightwear and she simply refused to buy ugly flannel nightgowns – she was actually sleepy. The sheets were cold though and she was only happy when she wrapped herself around him like an octopus.
"I love you." she purred with satisfaction.
She didn't need him to say it back, she knew.
She fell asleep to his soothing petting of her hair.
As far as she was concerned, it was the best way to surrender to slumber.