Disclaimer: No copyright infringement intended

Chapter Three

"Wake up, jackass."

No.

"Dude. Get up!" Emmett stood above me on the couch and punched my stomach, causing the breath to be knocked from me.

Mother of fuck.

"Shit!" I yelled once I was able to breathe normally. "What the hell do you want?"

"Payback." Emmett winked. "Let's grab breakfast before my class."

I sat up and lethargically rubbed my eyes. "It's still dark outside. Eat your Fruity Pebbles and let me sleep in peace."

Scowling, I yanked and covered my head with the blanket Rosalie oh-so-casually had resting on the back of Emmett's couch. The same couch that I had thrown up on a time or two, unbeknownst to Rose. With my eyes closed, I smirked at the thought of her finding out.

"Hurry the hell up. I wanna spend quality time with my baby bro and hear all about his new relationship."

New relationship?

The blanket slid off my face, revealing my full-on grin. No longer was I thinking of Rosalie throwing a shit-fit, but of Isa from the night before.

"We can go eat if you're buyin'."

"Don't I always?" Emmett asked as he smacked my face.

Ten minutes later we were sitting in a small diner near campus, drinking black coffee and stuffing our faces with syrup-covered carbohydrates.

"Syrup is fucking heaven. Seriously, I could pour this on anything and there would be an orgasm in my mouth." Emmett sighed contently. "So, tell me. Who's the unlucky, unsuspecting lady?"

"Brunette with matching eyes, great rack, ample ass, but she was a little feisty." I smirked and brought the mug to my mouth then added, "Feisty isn't a bad thing."

"Doesn't sound like your type," Emmett mumbled through a mouth full of waffles.

"Huh? I don't have a type. Female is my type." Chuckling, I motioned for the waitress to refill my coffee.

"True. You would fuck any female within a ten mile radius," Emmett agreed. The waitress gave him a disapproving glare before stalking away. "You usually go for blonds who don't say much, do much, or eat much."

"Where do you come up with this shit?"

He held up his hand and started listing names with his fingers. "Kate, Tanya, Irina, Tanya's roommate, that one girl with the lazy eye. Shall I go on?"

"Ha!" I pointed my fork at him. "Irina was brunette."

Em pulled the pancake off my fork and said, "Exactly. Was brunette. She colored her hair platinum blond so you would go out with her, and it worked."

Dammit. "Okay. So maybe only blonds go for me."

I definitely do not have a type. And even if that were true, did any of those relationships with my "type" last?

No.

Not that I wanted or needed a relationship until now, actually, but this was all business. Because I definitely didn't want a relationship. Especially not with someone who was clearly stubborn and had greasy, ogre-type friends who claim to be mechanics in their spare time.

"Maybe you should just stick with what works for you." Emmett interrupted my train of thought, pissing me off.

I forked my way around his plate to steal some of the waffle he had defaced. "Maybe you should mind your own fucking business and let me do this my way."

"Whatever. You know this is totally going to blow up in your face, right? Why don't you actually just find a real relationship, get a real job and then you can have the money?"

A real relationship? The mere thought made me shiver in my seat. I just wasn't a relationship kind of guy. Everything starts off exciting and new and you want to just touch the person for the sake of fucking touching them. Then, out of fucking no where, everything turns into comfy socks, meet and greets with the parents and then eventually sucking me off and expecting me jerk it into an old t-shirt because said relationship had just brushed her teeth.

No, thank you.

"Yes, Edward." Rosalie's voice made me jump as she suddenly appeared in the booth next to Em. "Maybe you should find a job, and a-"

"Emmett?" I said sharply, cutting Rosalie off. "What happened to quality bro time?"

Rosalie snorted at this while Emmett apologized. "Sorry, dude. Rosie's gotta eat, too." He smiled and kissed her cheek.

I stared at him for a full minute before speaking. "You're so fucking whipped. Seeing as how Rose is here now, we can't exactly talk about my situation anymore."

"Oh, Edward? They have cream for that, you know?" Rosalie quipped with a grin.

"No. I didn't know that," I said flatly. "Does it happened to be called shut the f-"

"Children. We're in public," Emmett whispered.

"Don't you dare call me a child, Emmett! Your brother needs to get his shit together and stop sleeping on your couch! Don't you think that he..."

I dropped my head in my hands and drowned Rosalie out. Five minutes later, I opened one eye to see if she was still at it, when a little brunette head caused me to open both eyes.

"Dude." I nodded towards Isa who was sitting alone in a booth, nibbling on a bagel. Her hair was down today, loose curls falling around her face, and I involuntarily smiled. Emmett cleared his throat, grabbing my attention. "That's her. That's the feisty bar girl."

"Why not get a head start on the fuckery? Her name is Isa?" he asked, then yelled her name before I could respond. He yelled her name five times before she finally glanced over towards us.

"Emmett, what on earth are you doing? You know that girl?" Rosalie asked with a tiny hint of jealousy.

"No baby, but Edward wants her to be his girlfriend."

"His what? Edward? The same Edward who chooses to own a pay as you go cell phone because the two year contract with AT&T was too much commitment for him?"

I ignored Rosalie, and the three of us stared in Isa's direction. Her innocent doe-eyes bounced between me, Emmett and Rose before she set her bagel on the plate, put her book bag over her shoulder and walked right past us to some old lady who was sitting two tables behind us.

"You're right. Feisty." Emmett smiled while blatantly staring at her ass, causing Rose to slap his arm. Emmett loved doing shit like that in front of Rosalie. No doubt the rest of the day she would be checking her appearance in car windows and spend the rest of her night in front of the bathroom mirror. According to him, it was his way of keeping her in check.

After chatting for a few minutes, Isa made her way back to our table and stood with her hands on her hips, waiting for me to say something, but all I could do was glare at Emmett for calling her over before letting me divulge a plan.

"Hi. I'm Edward's brother, Emmett." He smiled widely and held out his hand. "Do you usually eat carbs?"

"Emmett." I dropped my head in my hands. I knew exactly what he was doing and I couldn't bear to watch. Rosalie, used to his antics, stared in delight.

"Excuse me?" Isa asked as she dropped his hand. "Yeah, I eat carbohydrates. Your point?"

"Do you have any idea what carbs will do to your ass?"

"Didn't keep the two of you from staring at my ass when I walked by," she said without hesitation and Emmett smiled wickedly. "If that's all you wanted, I really have to go." She stared at me for a second, then turned to leave.

"Wait. My idiot brother here is very interested in you."

Smooth, Emmett.

She tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, looking unaffected. "That's...great. But I really have to go."

"Bye, Bella darling. Please tell your grandmother I said hello." The little old lady she had just been talking to waved goodbye as Isa smiled politely.

I broke the silence. "Okay, call me crazy, but that's the second time someone has called you by a different name. I thought your name tag said Isa?"

"Perceptive," she muttered. "My name is Bella. Well, it's Isabella but..."

"Bella. Bella. Bell-uh. I like it." Emmett grinned as he practiced saying her name like the fool he is.

"Wait, then why-"

"Because. When I'm at the bar and my name tag says Bella, it makes it too easy for drunken idiots to hit on me. So, at work, I'm Isa. Bet you can't think of a pick-up line with the name Isa in it."

Shrugging my shoulders, we all stared at Emmett as he searched for a pick-up line in his head. "Got it. Your body Isa wonderland and I want to be Alice."

Rosalie scowled with insecurity. Christ, this was so going to work in Emmett's favor and get him laid tonight.

Bella actually laughed at his lame attempt at a joke. "My best friends name is Alice. I'll have to tell her you said that."

Wow. I stared at the two of them bantering back and forth and had to swallow back the venom. Emmett talks to her for less than five minutes and already knows her real name, who her best friend is and has Bella promising to tell said best friend about him.

Bella cocked an eyebrow at me, clearly noticing my sulking. "Thanks again for the help with my truck last night."

"No problem. I should give you my number, in case you need to be jumped again."

Okay. So it sounded a lot smoother in my head.

"This is painful to watch. I have to go to class now. Bella, it was nice meeting you. Word of advice? Don't put up with my brothers shit." Emmett awkwardly fist-bumped her before throwing cash down on the table and pulling Rosalie behind him.

Flashing her Malibu Barbie, nothing-smells-better-than-my-shit smile, Rosalie held out her hand and said, "By the way, I'm Rosalie. I shouldn't have expected the two of these nimrods to possess any manners. Watch out for him, seriously," she warned.

Bella gave a tentative smile before taking Emmett's seat, then watched the two lovebirds walk away. "She just called you guys nimrods."

"That's probably the nicest thing she's ever said about me," I said in awe, then tried to explain Emmett's behavior.

"I like him," Bella said decidedly with a genuine smile, causing me to momentarily forget what the hell the point of all of this was.

"Oh, give me your cell phone. I'll put my number in it for you."

"I don't have a cell phone."

"Who doesn't have a cell phone?" I laughed.

"Me. I can't afford one and I don't like the idea of people always having a way to be in contact with me," she admitted while playing with the salt shaker.

She couldn't be serious. "What if there's an emergency with your grandmother?"

"I visit my Gram every Sunday night, so if something happened to her, I would eventually find out," she replied evenly.

"Parents?"

"Charlie tags along with me to see Gram, so again, I would eventually find out. And my mom left when I was younger, so chances of hearing from her aren't too high."

I decided against asking her for information about her mom leaving, because it was still very early in the day and I don't do well with emotional people. "What if your truck breaks down on a dark, cold night and you're stranded?"

Bella's foot tapped under the table, conveying that she was getting bored with my questions. "My truck has, in fact, broken down on a dark, cold night before. I slept in the cab of the truck until morning when a very nice, elderly man stopped to help me." Bella sat there in all of her confidence, just staring at me, waiting to see what I'd ask next.

"You weren't scared? To be stranded, I mean."

Her face scrunched up like that was the dumbest thing I could have asked. "Why would I be scared? I had mace. Besides, my dad used to be Chief of Police for a small town in Washington. He's taught me a thing or two." She giggled.

I swear to God she fucking giggled! Carlisle and Esme would eat this shit up.

"As if a tiny can of mace could stop someone from raping you. I suggest you get a cell phone and put my number in it. Got a pen?"

"Nope."

"Liar. Hey, Maggie. Got a pen I can borrow?" I asked the waitress, who willingly handed me the pen from her apron.

"Her name isn't Maggie. Her name tag said Mary," Bella whispered.

"Yeah? Like I'll ever believe a name tag again." I smiled and handed her a napkin with my number on it. "Don't lose that. It's valuable."

"Um, thanks. By the way, now I'm late for class and missed the bus."

"Bus? What happened to your ever-trusty piece of shit?"

Bella scoffed as we stood up from the table to walk outside. "After your ever-trusty handy work last night, it broke down again this morning, so I had to take the bus."

"Stop trying to make me feel bad. Your little mechanic friend has yet to fix it, either." I pushed the door open and let her walk through. "Let me give you a lift."

She stopped walking and blushed, letting her hair fall over her right eye. "That's okay. You don't have to do that."

"I know. I want to. Come on."

Nudging her shoulder, I pushed her in the direction of my Volvo. I opened the door, as any gentleman would do, and ushered her in the passenger seat. The Volvo purred to life and I sighed in fake relief.

"Now that's how a car should start."

"You listen to Of Montreal?" she asked, ignoring my little dig at her truck and focusing on the music seeping through the speakers.

"You know Of Montreal?" I asked, surprised.

"I'm only slightly obsessed," she said, biting her lip before she started singing along.

My mouth fell open and I tried really hard to keep from laughing. "You are an awful singer. Please don't ever do that again. Especially not in my car."

Bella laughed and said, "You're right. You were nice enough to give me a ride and I'm torturing you. I'll stop. Nice car, by the way."

"Thank you."

"Did mommy and daddy buy it for you?" she asked in a mocking tone.

"Actually, no. My parents are dead," I admitted and waited for her to apologize but she didn't. Instead, she just sat there quietly and bit her thumb nail. "You already have quite an impression of me. You've obviously heard a lot, so I'm surprised no one told you about my parents."

"It's not like I asked around about you. People talk. Everyone wants to know about the brooding, tortured soul who sits alone in the bar, drinking himself into a stupor until a girl seemingly good enough stumbles over to take him home," she blurted out.

I made a mental note that she rambles when she's nervous. Which was fucking cute. Also annoying, causing a dull throb to form between my eyes.

"You wanna get to know me? Let's grab dinner tonight."

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"You're...you are not my type," she stuttered. And lied, for that matter.

"Bella," I said slowly, getting off on using her real name. "I'm everyone's type."

"Exactly. I don't want someone who is everyone's type," she said a little too harshly, the blush spreading over her neck giving her away. "You can drop me off here."

I quickly pulled the car next to the curb, shifted into park and turned in my seat to face her, causing her to flinch. "You're going to make this hard for me, aren't you?" I asked playfully.

"Yes," Bella admitted without looking at me.

"Okay. I'll see you later tonight."

She finally looked at me, curiosity getting the better of her. "I said I'm not going to-"

I held up my hand. "You work tonight, yeah?"

"Yeah," she said slowly.

"I just asked a pretty girl to dinner and was denied. I'm a brooding, tortured soul who drowns his sorrows, right? Gotta keep the image. So I will see. you. later." I popped my knuckles with each word.

Bella muttered something under her breath and exited the car. "Thanks for the ride. Do me a favor and try not to stalk me, okay? I have some really huge friends that wouldn't appreciate it."

Shaking my head, I gave her a fake smile and whispered, "You talking about that grease monkey? Your wanna-be mechanic friend doesn't scare me in the least."

Bella's face grew red as she slammed the car door, a little too hard if you ask me.

I waved goodbye to her backside and laughed all the way to Emmett's so I could take a much needed nap before tonight.

Five hours later (yes, I'm aware that you aren't supposed to nap for longer than forty-five minutes), I woke up from my nap, not exactly feeling any better than before I passed out.

"When did you get home?" I asked Emmett, who was sitting on the living room floor playing FIFA. I reached for his beer to wash the shit taste from my mouth, but he intercepted.

"Hour ago. Your snoring is getting fucking old."

"Deal with it. Hey, you wanna go to Cain and Abel's tonight?"

Emmett paused the game. "Are you really going to do this?"

"Do what? Drink?" I laughed as I stood and stretched.

"No. Try to woo this girl, trick her into dating you and then convince Carlisle and Esme that you're in love?"

"Woo? Who said anything about wooing? You make it sound like I'm going to have to work for this."

Emmett resumed his game and shook his head. "Did you not see the way she was glaring at you today, man?"

"I've endured harder conquests, Em. But, if you're there, this would be a hell of a lot easier."

"What do I have to do with this?" He paused the game again and drained his beer.

"For some odd fucking reason, she likes you. I have a feeling if you show up with me tonight, this whole thing will go a little smoother. So, you down?"

"Call Ben and tell him to meet us there. I have a feeling he's going to want to witness the misery this girl is going to put you through tonight."

I laughed at Emmett's doubt, popped the top off a Heineken and murmured, "O ye, of little faith."

I would ask if you guys think Bella is going to give him a hard time but I'm pretty sure the answer is obvious. Thanks for reading! :)