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Chapter Seventeen

"But, dude," Emmett started. I was already having trouble taking him seriously. That was the third time he had called me 'dude' today. "She's your tenant."

"And the sky is blue. I'm not sure why you feel the need to state the obvious," I said flatly.

"Okay, okay. Did you fuck her yet?"

"No. You're kind of a dick, but no."

But fuck, just thinking about what touching her thigh did to me...and when I kissed her...I had to stop thinking about it. Because I was standing next to Emmett. And I was getting hard just thinking about her.

Emmett blinked twice. "Wow."

"What?"

"You just got hard from thinking about her?" Emmett pointed at my crotch and laughed, creating a scene in the middle of Newton's.

"You're a real riot," I scolded, adjusting myself.

"Portland did seem like a pretty nice chick. I say go for it."

Well, if Emmett gave me the okay, that meant...well, it didn't mean anything good.

"She is nice," I agreed.

Emmett held up a second finger and said, "She liked your shitty tequila."

"It's not shitty."

"Oh, and she isn't a lesbian. So, that's good." Emmett nudged my shoulder for whatever reason before turning his attention back to the Sale rack.

"Yes," I agreed sarcastically. "It helps the wooing process when the object of your affection isn't attracted to the same sex."

Emmett thought about that one for a while, then blurted out, "Alice doesn't like her."

"What?"

"Yeah. She was all bitchy face last night, going on about how young she is."

"I'm only five years older than Bella! How is-" I stopped myself from going off. "And...it doesn't even matter," I lied. "Why the fuck does she care, anyway? Jasper is seven years older than she is."

"He is?" Emmett question, mentally calculating if I was correct. "Since when?"

"Since..." I trailed off, not really paying attention to Emmett any longer. "Alice can't still be upset over the Kate thing."

"Oh, like hell she can't," Emmett said with feigned attitude. "Kate is her best friend and you dumped the shit out of her."

"We broke up a year ago! And it was mutual."

"Mutual?" Emmett snorted, grabbing a parka off the rack and holding it up to his chest. "It was mutual after you convinced her you two should break up."

Yeah. It wasn't mutual. Not at first, anyway. But then Kate found her way into Peter's bed and they recently got engaged.

I was finding it hard to believe that Kate would be the reason why Alice didn't like Bella.

"I need to ask you a serious question," Emmett gulped, demanding my full attention. "What's the difference between a parka and a jacket?"

"Holy shit. Can you stay on topic for like one second?"

"Dude! Dude, okay. I know you've told me this before. But I can't choose between this blue parka and the grey jacket."

I snatched the parka from his hands and said, "Your only job is to find out why Alice doesn't like Bella, okay?"

"But that isn't my only-"

"It is for today. You'll get the parka once you figure out Alice's problem."

Emmett narrowed his eyes and asked, "What's in it for me?"

"This!" I screamed, throwing the parka at him. "Go over to their house and...I don't know. I have no idea what it is you do over there."

"I jump on the trampoline with Emma."

"That...probably isn't very safe. Have you seen the size difference between you two?"

"Nah, it's cool. That kid lives on the edge. I gave her cotton candy yesterday. You should've seen how fucking hyper she was."

"I can imagine it'd be the same way you react when given sugar." I laughed. So did Emmett. Although I'm sure he wouldn't be laughing if he realized I was making fun of him.

"Fine. I get the information, then you'll give me the parka? And...maybe cotton candy?"

I dropped my head. "Just...go"

I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but with Alice's disapproval and Emmett's short attention span, the wooing process became that much harder.

A/N: So this little story is up on the poll for TLS Fic of the Week! Edward might consider lowering the rent if you voted for me :) TONS of great stories & this week you can choose FIVE! - www . tehlemonadestand . blogspot . com

Oh! Will update again later tonight. Thanks for reading!