prompt : hayffie maybe chilling at home and effie accidentaly hits haymitch in the balls, then she tries to make it up to him ( you can write it funny or smutty or however you want

Please note I will try to update Into tHat Good Night tomorrow but there are internet problems in my county right, which is why I didn't update HADS this week, so if there are no chapters... That's on my internet provider who aren't helpful at all. But I will do my best even if I have to go to mcdonald haha!

The Dangers Of Ordering A New Couch

"I do not know." Effie admitted, flicking the page of the magazine, distractedly comparing the prices of the couches on offer. "But bigger would not necessarily be a bad thing, would it?"

She glanced behind her but Haymitch was still rummaging in the cupboard, trying to figure out what they needed to buy later that afternoon when they would go grocery shopping. Effie had another kind of shopping in mind but the lack of stores selling furniture in Twelve was making it difficult, which was why she was sitting at the kitchen table next to a pile of furniture magazines.

She was dead set on buying them a new couch. The old one had been there since Haymitch had been allotted the house and it was lumpy, uncomfortable and almost threadbare. Haymitch usually didn't really care what she changed around the house – mostly because it took him months to notice – but he had been strangely reluctant on the couch issue. It had taken her a couple of days to make him see her side of the argument.

"That's what you always say." he grumbled. "You want more orange jam or you think you can make do with what's left of this jar?"

"Add it to the list." she dismissed, her attention focused on her prize. From all the other couches they could order, that one had caught her eyes. It was definitely bigger than their current one and it would probably meant they would need to rethink the whole living-room arrangement – which wasn't a bad thing because she had been dying to move things around in there. "What do you think of this one?" she asked, quickly placing her hand on the price before he could have a heart attack. He had very peculiar ideas about what amount of money should be spent on furniture. "It has matching armchairs…"

"Nothing's wrong with our armchairs!" he exclaimed.

"If you say so, darling." she muttered. She would have to be patient on that front. In a month or two maybe… She would convince him otherwise. One big purchase at a time. "What are you doing? Come and see…"

She turned around to see why he hadn't yet joined her, unaware he had been standing behind her for a few seconds. She had swung her arm carelessly and her elbow hit him straight in the groin with enough strength to suck the air out of his lungs.

"Shit." he spat in a strangled voice.

"Oh my god!" Effie exclaimed, immediately standing up to give him her chair. "I am so sorry!"

He dropped on the seat without resistance, his hands clutching his private parts, short of breath and a bit pale.

"You want the armchairs that badly, just order them." he joked weakly, wincing hard.

"I am so sorry…" she insisted, squeezing his shoulder. "So sorry. Do you want some ice? Or… Perhaps some painkillers?"

He took several deep breaths and then shook his head. "Ain't that bad. Just…" He wrinkled his nose. "Shit, but you've got pointy elbows."

She pursed her lips, strangely offended on her elbows' behalf.

"I will make you some tea." she decided.

She put water in the kettle and then struggled with the stove, never at ease with the gas system. As always when she used it, the flame grew high when she hesitantly brought the match close to the cooktop.

"You tried to emasculate me and now you're gonna put the house on fire." he snorted. "Say, sweetheart, you're trying to get rid of me or something?"

She narrowed her eyes at him and huffed, fishing a mug from the cupboard. "Emasculate. That's a big word."

"Yeah… I'm real proud of you for knowing what it means." he mocked, stealing her taunt. "See, all that hairspray hasn't rotted all your brain yet."

"Horrid man." she scowled and yet she sat on his lap, careful not to put any pressure on still sensitive areas. "I should have hit you harder."

"Would have been free to order a whole new living-room then." he nodded wisely, his eyes sparkling with amusement. He wrapped an arm around her waist and adjusted her position, making sure she was mostly on his knees and not fully on his lap. "So, you want this one?" He pointed to the couch she had been eying. "There are other colors, yeah? Cause it's very red."

"I love red." she countered.

"A red leather couch in the living-room might send the wrong message." he insisted.

"What in Panem are you talking about?" she sighed "It is perfectly lovely."

"Sure. For a brothel." he snorted.

She rolled her eyes. "You are unrefined. With matching armchairs and a nice new cream rug and perhaps a glass coffee table…"

"So… A whole new living-room." he cut her off, half-mocking and half-disapproving.

She drummed her fingers on the table, leaning back against his chest. He tensed a little so she was careful to still avoid tender areas when she nuzzled his neck. "Haymitch, your furniture are very old."

"They're still working." he grumbled. "You already bought a new TV. What's the good of that? We never watch it."

"You never watch it." she corrected. "We do not need to change everything all at once but… Some comfort wouldn't go amiss."

"Try growing up in a shack with a tin roof and come back talk to me about comfort." He rolled his eyes. "We're comfortable."

She had to restrain herself from audibly sighing. "It has been a very long time since you lived in the Seam and you actually enjoy every new piece of furniture I buy so there is no need for this hypocritical grumbling. We need a new couch at the very least and we have the money so there is no shame in buying something we like."

"Don't you mean something you like?" he challenged but rested his forehead against her shoulder with a groan. "Buy what you want, just don't hit me in the balls again. And that kettle's whistling."

"Oh!" she exclaimed because it was and she hadn't been paying attention. She hopped off his lap and went to fix them both some tea, humming an upbeat song and thinking about what she needed to add to the grocery shopping list he had been scribbling.

He was smiling at her when she placed a mug in front of him. It was indulgent and it probably should have been infuriating.

Lucky for him, she loved their life too much to care.