Hi! I had a prompt idea after reading some of your stories about Effie's family: Effie's parents want her to bring a victor to one of their parties (in one story they had Cashmere and Gloss there). She asks Finnick. Now Haymitch obviously didn't want to go but she could at least have asked him, he's her victor, dammit. So he crashes the party. Awkward first meeting the parents (without anyone knowing that that's what it is). - I hope you have a lovely day!

Wow I remember writing that last summer when I was dogsitting for my cousin. Very uncomfortable kitchen by the way.

Party At The Trinkets'

"It's just bad form, tis all." Haymitch slurred, slamming his empty glass down on the gleaming table they were sitting at in the mentors' lounge. He gestured at Chaff to pour him another, which his friend did without question. Bless him. "If she needs a victor, what does she go ask Four for?"

"Four for." Chaff repeated with a snort as it was the funniest joke. Eleven's victor had his chin propped on his stump and was mindlessly making his rum twirl in his glass with his one remaining hand.

Haymitch continued as if he hadn't been interrupted even though he had been ranting on the subject for a good hour and a half already. At least he was sure the bottle had been full and uncapped when he had started and it was almost empty now. But he went on because he knew himself and he had left drunk behind to wander into wasted territory and he needed to keep track of his own thoughts or he would stop making any sense at all to anyone, least of all himself.

"And Odair…" he sneered. He usually liked the kid well enough. At eighteen the boy was a little shit who left a trail of broken hearts in his wake, some for business and some for fun, but really this obsession for Twelve's escort had gone on far too long. A crush at fourteen was understandable, carrying a flame at fifteen was perhaps a little cute, at sixteen it had started being stupid, at seventeen Haymitch had stopped hiding that he was annoyed by it and now… "You know he bought her a lighter for her birthday? A fucking lighter. What does she need a lighter for?"

"Cigarettes." Chaff mumbled, following the conversation far more than Haymitch had given him credit for.

"I've got matches." he snapped. "I've always got matches. And she's got no business asking him to light them for her anyway. I'm the only one who gets to light her cigarettes. What is he even trying to pull here? 'Cause it's a cheap move and it's not even working. She still asks me for matches even if she's got that shiny little lighter in her purse." He scoffed. "Got it engraved and everything. You've seen it? Pure silver. I ain't shitting you."

"Thought you were mad about the party." Eleven's victor observed. "It's about the birthday thing now. Really don't get what the fuss is about that woman." Chaff tilted his head to the side. "Although that ass…"

"Don't start." he growled. "I ain't mad about the lighter. What do I care if Odair buys her lighters? I ain't trying to buy my way into her bed."

"'Cause you're already there." Chaff pointed out, lifting his glass in a toast.

"Never said that." he grumbled in a never quite forgotten reflex to deny that particular piece of information. "What is it with that boy anyway? Why can't he do with his own escort? Closer to his age."

"She's got even less brain than Trinket." Eleven's victor wrinkled his nose. "Pretty piece though. Wouldn't mind tapping it. Not that she would give me the time of day." Chaff downed his glass and poured himself another one, looking chagrined. "Too young and too full of herself for the likes of us."

It took Haymitch a few minutes and another glass to remember why he was so annoyed. His mind had drifted to Four's escort and he couldn't claim he was very interested because there was simply nothing interesting in there. The girl was as stupid as they came, caked with make-up and high on hairspray. He wasn't even sure how they could compare her to Effie. Sure, Effie had an entire can on paint on her face on a daily basis and she used hairspray freely but she wasn't… that dumb. And she was sexy, which made up for the make-up. And fiery. And witty. And…

"She shouldn't be taking Odair to her mother's party." he spat. "She should be taking me."

And that was the crux of the matter, wasn't it? Her mother had expressively told her to bring a victor to her party – no negotiation possible – and Haymitch had been standing right there during the whole call and when she had hung up, huffing and puffing in annoyance, she had looked right through him and had called Four's floor. And then she had gone on and on on the phone about how Finnick would be making her a huge favor and what not.

And he had still be standing right there.

"Damn right she should." Chaff agreed, nodding wisely. Eleven's victor was also sneakily pouring the last of the bottle in his glass and Haymitch had the feeling he wasn't really listening. The fact that there was no more rum was a sad, sad thing.

"Maybe she likes him better." he said. It wasn't a whine. It wasn't a whine. But really how was he supposed to feel about his escort taking a boy thirty years his junior to that kind of party? To her family. Not that he wanted to go in the first place. If she had asked he'd have said no and made her work hard for him to cave – and he would have gotten his favorite tricks out of it in the process. But it was the principle of the thing. He was her victor. He should be going to her parents' party. Not Finnick Odair.

"Maybe she wants to screw him for a change." Chaff shrugged. "It's gonna be all over the press tomorrow too. She's gonna look like one of his conquests."

Conquests was a hard word to say when you were completely wasted. Haymitch noted that for future notice.

"Bet she didn't think of that." he snorted. "We're old news, Caesar's got to put in a gibe every year but she goes to her mother's party of the year, or whatever bullshit, with Finnick…"

He didn't like the idea of all gossip channels proclaiming an affair between her and Four's victor. She was fucking his to have pretend affairs with. Well not pretend but… deniable. Publicity stunts. Whatever. "Bet she didn't think of that…" he repeated. Of course she hadn't. Cause she never thought anything through, did she? And it was up to him to save her ass when she took a false step, before she could really fuck up, like she did for him when he screwed up. Cause they were a team. So… He needed to stop anyone thinking she and Odair were a thing. And for that to happen, well… There needed to be more than one victor that party. So it was a group thing and not a couple thing. Yeah. That worked.

"Chaff." he said seriously, stretching his tongue as far as it could go to grasp the last few drops at the bottom of the glass. "How would you like to crash a party?"

Chaff's laughter boomed, making quite a few people look their way. "Thought you'd never ask!"

It wasn't as easy as he had thought it to be.

For one, they were both dangerously swaying on their feet, which slowed down the process a little. For another, finding out where the Trinkets lived was a bit more complicated than he had thought it would be. It took them three Avoxes drivers to finally find one who understood what they were talking about – the slurring might have had something to do with it but Haymitch didn't want to care about that.

He rummaged through the mini-bar in the car, snatching the biggest bottle they had. It turned out to be scotch, which wasn't his favorite but would do very well for the purposes he had in mind. Chaff tried to grab it away but Haymitch had none of that.

"That ain't for you." he rebuked. "Don't you know it's rude to show up empty handed?"

Or at least he thought that it was what Effie had said once or twice. He bet her mother liked scotch.

Eleven's victor snatched a smaller bottle of vodka and uncapped it with his teeth before taking a generous swallow. Vodka and rum… Somehow Haymitch didn't think it would go down well. And yet when his friend offered him the bottle, he shrugged and took a gulp.

"How mad is she gonna be?" Chaff asked when the car started slowing down. "Cause… Your girl can be pretty scary, buddy."

"Not my girl." he countered in what was almost a conditioned response by now. "Won't be mad 'cause we're here to help. 'Cause Odair… Who cares about Odair and his stupid presents anyway? He's just a boy. Bet he puts it in and unloads right away. Bet he knows nothing about how to please a woman." That was highly unlikely, not least of which because of the prostitution thing. But he felt better telling himself that story. Better yet, another gulp of vodka and he believed it. Nobody knew how to touch Effie like he did anyway. She had practically told him that. Maybe not in so many words but it had been implied. "He's got no business being her date at her mother's party. We're rescuing her from scandal. She's gonna be grateful." Chaff looked doubtful and stole the bottle of vodka right back. Haymitch rolled his eyes and opened the door. "She's gonna be."

It wasn't hard to figure out which house belonged to the Trinkets because there was only one mansion in the streets with loud music, laughter and a lot of people passing in front of the windows. Also the car was parked right in front of it so he could take a hint.

He still wasn't quite steady on his feet. He and Chaff had to lean on each other to get to the door. He waved off the Avox when he tried to help. Haymitch was clutching the bottle of scotch tight in his hand.

He rang the doorbell but it seemed stupid with such loud music so he just went ahead and pushed the door open. After all… It was a party and Effie's mother wanted victors so…

The hallway was deserted and looked far too pompous. It was worse than the Presidential Mansion. At least the Mansion was more or less tastefully decorated. In there it looked like someone had aimed for grand and had achieved soullessness. Everything was white and cold.

"Just a moment, Glina!" a woman chirped as she escaped a room to the right further down the corridor. "I will just pop in the kitchen to check on the staff. You know how it is with hired help those days…" That ended up in a loud and high-pitched shriek when the Capitol spotted them. "Good gracious!" The woman looked left and right in obvious distress, on the verge of shouting only to glance at the room the party seemed to be taking place in and think better of it. "Please if you are to rob us, be kind enough to do it quietly. I have important people over."

The woman, he decided, must be Effie's mother.

There wasn't much resemblance aside from the eyes. The rest… Well, there was too much plastic for him to spot any of his escort's features underneath.

Chaff elbowed him hard in the ribs. It took him a minute to realize what his friend meant with that. Effie's mother mistaking them for burglars wasn't part of the plan.

"Hi." he said because that was what you said when you arrived at a party, wasn't it? "I brought a gift."

He handed the bottle of scotch.

The woman stared at it with open distaste before studying him further. If possible the distaste grew bigger. "Haymitch Abernathy."

"That's me." he smirked, turning on the charm that had earned him a solid reputation on the ladies front. He shook the bottle of scotch to remind her of its existence. "Ain't polite to come empty-handed, yeah?"

"It is even less polite to show up drunk and uninvited." the woman replied in such a tone Haymitch couldn't tell if she was being serious or not. Chaff seemed to think it was funny and laughed only to stop dead when she glared at him. "May I enquire as to what brings Twelve's and Eleven's ill fated victor to break and enter my house?"

"Haven't broken anything." Haymitch protested at once.

"We entered though." Chaff granted helpfully. "Door was open."

Haymitch finally let his arm fall back at his side, vaguely understanding she wouldn't take the bottle. "Effie said you wanted victors."

"Yes." she hissed. "Proper victors."

"We're proper." he scoffed. "We bring gifts and everything."

"Think she means Careers, buddy." Chaff mumbled. "Wasn't a good idea. She's worse than the daughter."

Mrs Trinket considered them both carefully with her lips pursed, her eyes often darting to the room she had come from. "Stay here."

She had disappeared back in there before they could say anything. Haymitch was starting to get annoyed.

"We ain't dogs." he grumbled, looking helplessly at Chaff. "But I brought booze! All polite and shit so Effie wouldn't rant…"

Effie, it seemed, was puzzled as to why she was being dragged away from the party and down the hallway by a very determined woman. "Mother, what…"

"Here they are." Mrs Trinket declared, letting go of her daughter's wrist. "Why in Panem would you bring those hooligans into my house, Euphemia?"

"Euphemia." Chaff repeated with a throaty chuckle.

Effie regarded them both, closed her eyes and let out a deep, deep breath. Haymitch knew the signs, even drunk as a skunk. That was her 'I'm trying to remain calm but I really want to throttle you right now' look – not to be confused with her 'you are dead' look.

"I brought a gift!" he protested, outraged that he would be lectured about whatever when he had made an effort to be polite. He showed her the bottle of scotch.

"Yes, Euphemia. You victor brought a bottle of cheap liquor he stole in the car's mini-bar." Mrs Trinket deadpanned. The woman shook her head. "Get them out of my sight. I do not want anything ruining my party. Not when Finnick Odair is attending."

"Odair's full of shit."Haymitch growled, reaching out to grab Effie's forearm. "Shouldn't go out with him, sweetheart. People are gonna talk. And the kid's sweet on you, you know that. It ain't kind to string him along."

Effie's face softened from her 'I'm trying to remain calm but I really want to throttle you right now' look to her 'You are an idiot and a source of irritation but you are also cute' look. He liked that one. That one got him laid.

"I will make sure they stay out of the way." she told her mother.

"But we came to party." Chaff protested, leering at Mrs Trinket in a way that was absolutely disgusting. "Can show you a good time, love. I'm drunk enough not to mind the age. Can fuck that pole right out of your ass."

"Chaff!" Effie snapped, right when her mother's eyes grew wide and her mouth gaped in offense. "You two, I swear! You will be the death of me. Come along." She herded them away but Haymitch was far too drunk to take note of the path they took. He blinked, a little confused, when they stepped in what seemed to be an empty drawing-room. Everything was either white or see-through. He hated it. "Sit down. I will fetch you some coffee. And some food. Did you even bother to eat before binge drinking… What was it tonight?"

"Rum." he pouted, thrusting the bottle of scotch at her again. "I brought a gift." He sounded downright sulky but he didn't care. "Did it right so they'd like me better than stupid Finnick."

Her face softened even more. They were right into the 'I want to kiss you for being such an idiot' look territory now. That helped him sulk a little less.

"We came to rescue you from scandal, love." Chaff chimed in, testing out the couch by trying to make it bounce. It was hard as fuck and didn't move. Eleven's victor looked disappointed. "Well… Haymitch did. Just wanted free booze and maybe find someone to screw."

She shook her head. "Scandal?"

"Can't have you being with Finnick all over the news." he grumbled. "Let him have scandals with his escort. We've got the scandal thing going. That's our thing. We fucking invented it."

She bit down on her bottom lip and he had a feeling she was trying to stop herself from smiling. "Stay here and do not move. I will be back."

He didn't want her to leave but alcohol dulled his reflexes and she was gone before he could do anything about it. Chaff slumped down the couch.

"Didn't go as planned." Eleven's victor remarked.

"Nah." he scowled. "Fucking ungrateful that." His mood didn't improve when Finnick sauntered in the room they had been exiled in, cocky as you pleased. "What do you want?"

"My, my… Is that any way to greet a friend?" Finnick teased.

"Friends don't steal friends' girls." Chaff chuckled. "Told you, boy. Not nice to make him rage like that."

"But it is ever so funny." Four's victor laughed. "And Effie asked. I couldn't say no."

"Effie should have asked me. I'm her victor." Haymitch snapped, unclasping the bottle of scotch to take a generous mouthful. Chaff made a grab for it but since it looked like he was siding with the kid, he kept it to himself. "I'm hers and you're not and if she's gonna take someone somewhere, it's gonna be me."

"Duly noted." Effie mocked as she came back with a tray. She placed it down on the coffee table and forced a mug full to the brim with coffee into his hands. She stole his bottle of scotch though. "I suppose I should be grateful you did not get yourself arrested tonight. Although it would have been a convenient excuse to escape this party."

"You're bored." Haymitch triumphed. "You're never bored when you're with me."

"Oh, hush and drink your coffee." she sighed. "If I had known you would be so willing to meet my parents I would have brought you along. Mother would have had a heart attack, of course, but that might have been worth it."

"She's a bitch." Chaff declared.

"Kinda, yeah." Finnick snorted. "No offense, Effie." Effie simply waved that away and Four's victor turned back to Haymitch with a teasing grin on his lips. "So… Do you want to tell us more about how Effie is yours exactly?"

Haymitch scowled hard at him, half tempted to try to punch him. But then Effie's hand fell on his shoulder as she perched on the uncomfortable looking armrest of the couch and he calmed down a little.

"Could you be a dear and see to it that Chaff goes back to the Center in one piece?" she asked Finnick. "You humored my mother long enough, I will cover for you while you escape."

"I can take Haymitch off your hands too." Four's victor offered.

Haymitch immediately protested around the rim of the mug of coffee.

"My car is still here. I will drive him back." she dismissed. "I do not want him in the penthouse without supervision in this state. He could leave again and get into trouble."

"I ain't a kid." he muttered. "I don't need minders."

"Don't you?" Effie scoffed.

It took a while for Finnick to herd Chaff to their car and slip out unnoticed. The coffee hadn't been enough to sober him but Haymitch felt a little less drunk. He also felt downright queasy, something Effie noticed at once because she had known him far too long.

She ushered him up the stairs and to what he assumed to be a guest room… He barely reached the en-suited bathroom before he was throwing up.

Rum, he winced. Never agreed with him.

He didn't stop retching until he felt completely empty.

He felt the damp cloth ran on the back of his nape and then on his forehead to finally wipe his mouth. He let her flush the toilets and help him back to his feet, he even flopped down on the bed in the next room when she prompted him to do so.

"Truly, Haymitch. The state you put yourself in." she sighed. "Catch your breath for a minute and then we will go back to the penthouse."

"I brought a gift." he mumbled with a sulk.

"Which was actually very considerate of you even if it was stolen from a car's mini-bar." she chuckled.

"Wanted your mom to like me." he insisted, knowing he was revealing too much but unable to keep the words in. That was the problem with him and liquor.

"I am afraid that is an impossible feat." Effie said quietly. She perched on his lap though and he leaned in but she drew back. "I am not kissing you until you have brushed your teeth."

Since he didn't mind too much as long as he could hold her close, he simply buried his face in her neck.

In a minute they would sneak out.

And the next morning when he would wake up – no doubt feeling very sorry about the rum – he would pretend nothing had happened at all.