Chapter Twelve
The slanted daylight fell across the dark hideout of Tantalus. Blank didn't even look from where he perched on the window sill. The ruckus of Marcus and Cinna rang out from below as they scraped stools back and shifted bags across the table. Marcus began unloading the few meager groceries they had collected on their trip out while Cinna sorted through the mail that was in their box. Junk, junk, junk, Cinna told himself. They never got anything but junk. He paused, however, when he came across a letter addressed to Blank. In the top corner was the embossing of the Alexandrian crest. Slowly, he turned the envelope towards Marcus, who paused with a bag of apples in his hand. They looked to each other pensively before Cinna slowly craned his neck towards the tall windows, obscured behind old bell gears.
"Yo, Blank, there's a letter for you," Marcus called, sifting through the bag again.
"Don't you think that joke is a little played out?" Blank mumbled, his arms crossed over his chest. Beyond the window, he watched as the woman in the alley took whacks at a carpet.
Cinna pursed his lips. "No, really, Blank. It's a letter from Dagger."
"Yeah, right…" Blank scoffed, shaking his head. "Like she even cares."
Cinna sighed as he ripped the letter open. Slowly, he unfurled the parchment to reveal Garnet's dainty and loopy cursive. "Dear Blank, my apologies it's taken so long to write. My schedule can be rather unforgiving…" In the next moment, they heard the clatter of Blank's boots and he slid down the ladder from the platform filled with beds. He snagged the letter from Cinna, who held his hands up and looked to Marcus with a rather exasperated facial expression. Blank furrowed his brow as he paced, looking over the letter.
I have thought about your proposal over and over. You know I would like nothing more than to learn the truth about Zidane. I think, in a way, we all need a certain kind of closure. However, I cannot permit for you to go alone on your own search. The Outer Continent is dangerous, Blank, full of Griffins and Zaghnols. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you. I ask that you please grant me more time as I make arrangements for this task. Allow me the grace to find more soldiers who can aid us in this feat. Come the end of spring, there will be a thoughtful memorial being announced in the garden of my castle. It would be lovely if you came. And, I think, a very humble experience if you spoke at its unveiling. I know you are angry with me. I am angry at myself, too. They say the first forty-eight hours after a person goes missing are the most crucial. Unfortunately, that window of time was overlooked. I know I lost your brother out there. I lost a part of me, too. But I am hopeful that one day we will know what really happened of Zidane's fate. I am sorry, Blank. I am doing everything in my power. Please do not misplace my thoughts for carelessness or a passive attitude. I loved Zidane, too. But we have to think about ourselves, also. Thoughtfully yours, Garnet.
Blank ground his teeth together as he slowly crumpled the parchment into a rigid ball. Cinna's shoulders drooped and Marcus crossed his arms over his chest as they exchanged another look at the sight. Blank tilted his head back, closing his eyes. Hot anger was washing over him, a persistent under minding rage that had possessed him for months. It felt like no one really cared. Blank considered, briefly, that he was going crazy. But he felt catatonic. Was he the only person willing to test fate?
"I'm guessing bad news?" Cinna finally asked as the silence became prolonged.
"What do you think?" Blank didn't even look to him as he fiercely grabbed the furnace grate, chucking the letter into the roaring fire. "She's not sending a search out."
"Blank," Marcus grabbed his stiff shoulder. He didn't even react as he watched the furnace. "It's been a year, man. It's time to accept he's not coming back."
"Like hell I'd believe that," Blank shrugged him off, back pedaling. "How could you come to terms with that? He was sixteen, he had so much more to live for! His life had only just started."
"I know it's unfair… but, facts are facts, Blank," Cinna shook his head. "Even if he did survive the collapse of the Iifa Tree, by this point he'd have starved to death or been too dehydrated to walk."
"No!" Blank raised his voice, a headache waxing across his forehead. "Zidane's alive, you guys! I know he is, I can feel it."
"Blank, come on," Cinna held his arms out at his side. "We're worried about you! You don't eat, you don't sleep. Why are you punishing yourself? It's not your fault!"
Blank's dark eyes grew wet in the next moment, pronouncing the purple rings that framed the pair. He blinked rapidly, furrowing his brow. "The last time we saw him… he was on that… freakish airship, nose diving directly into a wave of dragons and a purple light…" Blank took in a deep uneven breath. "He was fearless. Someone with that kind of power doesn't just die, you guys. He's alive. I know he is. I was the closest to Zidane. We could have actually been brothers for all I'd known. But you have to believe me. I know Zidane is out there."
"Well, how will you ever find him if you starve to death first?" Marcus shook his head.
Blank rubbed sorely at his eyes. He pursed his lips, looking towards the tall windows. "You're right, Marcus."
"I am?"
"Yeah, why am I wasting my time, waiting for someone else to take action?" Blank looked to him with his red, stinging eyes. "I don't need the Queen's permission. I never have. I'll just go myself. I'll figure it out."
"What? No, Blank," Cinna's eyebrows knitted together. "You can't just go out there! It's dangerous. You're not properly equipped. And you have no idea where you're going!"
"It doesn't matter," Blank brushed by him, clambering back up the ladder. "I'll figure it out. I'll walk the entire continent. I'll look harder than Beatrix ever said she did. I'll find him, I swear."
"Blank, we're not letting you go," Cinna called to him as Blank whipped his backpack out from under his bed, viciously cramming tunics and belts into it. "You're not thinking straight. Whens the last time you slept?" Blank continued with his packing. "Blank! Listen to me! You're in no condition to just go barging out there. What good will it do if you get killed, too?"
Blank paused from his task, slowly lifting his head. "Well, then at least I won't have to live with this guilt."
"Just why are you guilty?" Marcus lifted his hands. "You didn't make Zidane do any of this!"
"Yeah, well, I didn't stop him from leaving the band," Blank shot back, snapping his rucksack shut. "I pretended it was some floozy chase. Just wanted a little peck on the cheek from Dagger. How could I not see how in over his head he was getting? I was supposed to be protect him like I always did on the streets."
"Bro, we all let him walk out, but that doesn't mean we sealed his death certificate," Marcus told him. "How could you possibly have known what was going to happen? How could you predict that a war would ravage this entire planet?"
"We're just talking in circles," Cinna huffed, shaking his head. "Blank, really. Please, man. Put the backpack away. We… we got some stuff for lunch." He gestured towards the table. Blank's neck was stiff as he glanced to it from where he perched on the platform. "We'll think of something, I promise."
"Your last idea was a depressing wake in some dank bar Zidane frequented," Blank scoffed. "I don't want any of your ideas." He leapt from the platform, his backpack beating against him. Marcus and Cinna both circled the table. "Get out of my way," Blank looked to them both with his tired, glazed eyes. "If I leave now, I can catch the last boat from the port of Burmecia."
"The sight-seeing ferry?" Marcus furrowed his brow.
"I'll steal a lifeboat from there," Blank said.
"You're crazy, you know that, right?" Cinna looked to him with arched eyebrows.
"Get out of my way. I'll show you I'm right," Blank raised his voice. With force, he shoved Marcus into the cupboard and stormed forward. Cinna reached to grab him and Blank also gave him a mighty push, causing him to windmill his arms.
"Blank! Blank!" Marcus shouted as the door slammed shut, rattling the walls. "Oh, dammit." Marcus darted towards the door and spilled out onto the warm cobblestone. He looked both ways. Blank had already disappeared. Slowly, Cinna emerged with a look of utter defeat. "This isn't good, dude…"
"Dagger has to stop him," Cinna said, walking towards the railing and gazing out over the massive city.
"How will we ever get word to her before Blank gets to port?" Marcus pursed his lips. Cinna was quiet for a few beats before he snapped his fingers.
"Marcus, go to the castle. There are scribes there authorized to use dart-ships to get word between nations faster," Cinna explained. "As soon as you tell them it's an urgent matter for Dagger, I'm sure they'll send word at once."
"You think they'll listen to me?" Marcus shook his head.
"You have to try," Cinna turned to him. "I'm gonna head for the west gate, see if he's leaving on foot from there."
…
Zidane hadn't slept well in the past two days since spying Delta, Felicia, and Astrid. He hadn't seen them around the castle, either. Zidane was completely unsettled, however. That third morning was not unlike the last. He laid on his bed all through the night, staring at the ceiling. A darkness was gathering around his eyes as the first tweets from the birds began to ring out. Zidane sat up, raking his hands through his hair. It felt like everything was converging on him all at once. Two entirely different lifetimes coming from opposite directions. Zidane's heart panged in his chest as he reached for his armor, shrugging into a shirt. Another day with Garnet, who seemed distracted and in another world. Something had happened at the party. Zidane wondered if Garnet realized she was in love with Liam. Seeing Astrid, however, sent him for a whirl. How had he completely buried the memories of her? For eleven months, they had somewhat of a formal relationship, filled with a competitive spirit. Astrid had been feisty and fun. And Zidane had enjoyed their escapades fueled by a desire to rebel. When he boarded that airship in January of 1800, he had no idea that he would ever forget about her. He had loved her… in a way. But not like he did Garnet. But why was she here? Zidane slowly pulled his helmet from the shelf before he pursed his lips and left his room.
The soldiers downstairs were already arranging breakfast of biscuits, jams and jellies, and bacon on the table. "Mornin', Zeke," Breireicht greeted, sliding a pitcher of milk onto the cluttered surface. Zidane barely gave him a glance, however, as he saw himself out. Haagen looked to the assistant captain before shrugging and claiming a biscuit. Zidane held his helmet tightly under his arm as he made a blazing trail towards Steiner and Beatrix's quarters. The morning sky was soft and dewy as the world awoke for another day. Dragonflies already darted through the fragrant garden. It was warm, too. An indication summer was waning in. Zidane beat his hand to the door and waited impatiently. He heard shifting on the other side and then Steiner, unarmed, answered the door. Around his neck hung a blue gingham apron and his short cropped dark hair was rustled from sleep.
Steiner arched his dark eyebrows. "Zidane, what are you doing here? Is everything alright?"
"I need to talk to Beatrix."
"Are you feeling okay?" Steiner furrowed his brow. "You don't look well, Zidane."
Zidane sighed and tilted his head. "Where is Beatrix?"
"She's at the table, I'm making breakfast," Steiner stepped aside to allow Zidane in. "Do you want a plate?"
"No thanks," Zidane shook his head as he came around the corner into the narrow kitchen. He spotted Beatrix, already dressed for the day, having tea at the small table beneath the window. She looked up when she heard the rattle of armor. Zidane set his helmet on the counter and came closer to her. "What do you know about your new recruits?"
"Hm?" Beatrix glanced to Steiner, who only shrugged from behind Zidane. "Delta and Felicia. Two girls who say they grew up as orphans in Lindblum. Not anything unusual for a soldier. Why?" Zidane lowered his eyes. So he wasn't going crazy. It really was them. "What's wrong, Zidane?" Beatrix asked, setting her tea cup down.
"I… I know them," Zidane said, glancing towards an iron skillet with sizzling bacon. Steiner squeezed into the kitchen and Zidane sat down across from Beatrix. "I grew up with them in Lindblum. They lived right around the corner from me. I guess you could say they were the female counterpart of Tantalus. They called themselves The Trixies."
"So, they were thieves?" Beatrix arched her eyebrows. "That doesn't give me a reason to distrust them. Look at you."
Zidane pursed his lips and shook his head. "Beatrix, I have a bad feeling about them being around. They're a team of three."
"Well, only two enlisted."
"I went out with Weimar the other night," Zidane glanced to Steiner who listened attentively as he began plating Beatrix's breakfast. "I saw Delta and Felicia at The Blind Fox. They were having a private conversation with the third member of their team. A girl named Astrid."
Steiner served Beatrix her breakfast and she took her time snapping a crispy bacon strip in half before lifting her eyes to Zidane. "Have you been sleeping? What's so suspicious about two girls meeting up with a childhood friend in a bar?"
Zidane placed his palms flat to the table, grounding his teeth together. "Beatrix, please, just take my word for it. My gut is telling me to be cautious. They're up to something, I know it."
Beatrix sighed, sitting back in her chair. She gazed across the table at the pale Zidane. His dark hair was unruly as it fell across his forehead. His eyes were surrounded with a darkened fatigue. Slowly, she licked her lips and she nodded. "Okay, Zidane. I'll keep my eye out if that will make you feel better."
"They shouldn't be on any sort of castle duty," Zidane warned her. "Keep them in the gardens."
"… Alright," Beatrix nodded. Zidane's eyes hurriedly looked between Steiner and Beatrix before he stood, grabbing his helmet.
"Thank you," Zidane said, heading towards the door. "I gotta go." And with that, he let himself out. Steiner looked up from his pan of scrambled eggs, lamely staring at the door with a spatula in hand. He then looked to Beatrix, who quietly picked at her breakfast.
"He's unwell, Steiner," She said, tearing her bacon apart. "I think Zidane's driving himself crazy. We can't keep letting him do this." Beatrix raised her eyes. "I think we should tell Her Majesty."
Steiner drew his lips together. "He's in no condition. We have to make him see the truth."
"What is the truth, Steiner?"
The Captain was quiet as he transferred his hot breakfast to a white porcelain plate. He looked to Beatrix, shaking his head. "I don't know."
…
It was another quiet day in the private study of the Queen. The silence was so utterly loud to Zidane; he was drowning in it. Garnet sat across the wide table, signing her name at the bottom of a letter. Once she gave it a final look over, she passed it to Zidane, who neatly folded it, packed it into an envelope, sealed it, and then finally embossed it. She had dozens more to construct and the next impending waves of letter were due any day. Zidane had no idea how she'd ever keep up. Garnet worked diligently and quietly. She barely raised her eyes to Zidane and when she did, she averted just as quickly. As she handed another letter over to Zidane, their fingers brushed and she paused, laying her quill down. Zidane worked on stuffing the envelope.
"Zeke…" Garnet's soft voice broke through the silence.
"Yes, Your Majesty?"
"I feel like I need to… clear the air," She folded her hands on top of the table as Zidane lowered his task. "I am so embarrassed for what happened a few days ago. I put you in such an awkward position with my tears and I'm sorry. You're a wonderful knight and you already go above and beyond all expectations. You should not have to contend with my feelings. They have no business in government. I am very sorry."
"There's no reason to apologize," Zidane shook his head as he pressed the envelope beneath the rigid crest. "You can't be expected to hold it together all the time, Your Majesty."
Garnet was quiet a moment as she inspected Zidane. "I'm really glad Steiner chose you to be my bodyguard, Zeke. You're smart and well put together. It's really nice doing all these mundane things when there's someone pleasant sitting beside you." Zidane grew warm in his armor. "Why don't you remove your helmet and get some fresh air? I just realized I've never even seen your entire face."
Zidane's body jolted at the thought and he nearly crumpled the envelope in his hands. "No… it… it wouldn't right," Zidane shook his head.
"Oh, Steiner can't fuss if I requested it," Garnet waved her hand dismissively.
Zidane lowered his head for a moment. "I should keep it on. I… I was disfigured during the attack on Lindblum. I'm grotesque." His voice felt incredibly strained.
"Zeke…" Garnet reached across the table, placing her hand over his. "That is nothing to be ashamed of. You were a victim, you're not a monster. You were caught in the crossfires of matters that didn't concern you. It's unfair, but you are not grotesque. Please, take my word for it." Zidane's heart thundered against his chest plate. "Life is short," Garnet continued. Zidane's body temperature kept climbing. "You shouldn't spend it ashamed of yourself or hiding behind things. You have such little time on this planet, you should spend it embracing yourself. Be you and let others accept you for who you are."
Zidane tilted his head up a bit. He realized Garnet's face was very near to him. He hadn't been that close in a while. Through his helmet, he still saw all the characteristic things about her. Those dark brown eyes, flecked with the smallest bit of green. The small scar she had above her left eyebrow that she claimed she didn't remember receiving. That olive heart shaped face. Zidane pursed his lips. "Even if… I've done bad things? I can still be myself?"
"Everybody is redeemable," Garnet grinned. "Look at you now. There's nothing from your past that would ever convince me you were an awful person."
Zidane's heart deflated in his chest. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. I'm just not ready yet."
In the next moment, the scene was interrupted as the study doors flew open. Garnet lifted from her chair immediately and Zidane looked over his shoulder. It was Liam, in a pilots uniform. His hair was windblown and he had a look of urgency. He held a letter up. "Your Majesty," He panted, coming towards her.
"Liam?" Garnet furrowed her brow. "Why are you here? What's… what's going on?" She paused only a beat. "Did something happen to Aunt Hilda? Uncle Cid?"
"No, no," Liam shook his head, unfolding the letter. Slowly, Zidane rose to his feet. "A guy came to the airship docks, the ones we work at in the castle. It's completely restricted access for anyone who's not an engineer. We were having him removed when Regent Cid vouched for him, it was a guy named, uh…" Liam took in a deep breath. "Oh! Marcus, yes, Marcus. Regent Cid knew him. Marcus had an emergency letter to send to you and so I've brought it." He pushed the letter into Garnet's hands. Zidane's breathing had shallowed.
"What does it say?" Zidane asked, his own urgency washing over him.
Garnet lifted her wide eyes. "It says Blank's run off to the Outer Continent to find Zidane." She squeezed the parchment in her hands. "No, Blank! He's probably already halfway to the Burmecian ports."
"I'm in a new dart-ship," Liam told her. "We could be there in half an hour at best if we push the engines. It's still in testing but… I trust it."
"Let's go," Garnet nodded without a moment of hesitation. Together, they began hurrying towards the door. Garnet paused, however, her purple skirt rushing around her slender legs. "Zeke, come on. I'll need your help." It took Zidane a moment to register before he followed her.
…
The new innovation of Regent Cid, the dart-ship model, was narrow and compact. In the bridge, Liam, Zidane, and Garnet were nearly shoulder to shoulder. The engines were surprisingly quiet, however, and the ship did indeed live up to its name. It was quite quick. Neither Garnet nor Zidane were expecting the take off to be so turbulent and forceful. Below was a small cargo holding, but Liam didn't have anything in it. As they soared through the sky, Zidane held his helmet down and looked out over the landscape. The mountains hadn't changed. Nor had the rolling green hills. In the distance, glittering in all its glory, was the industrious Lindblum. Zidane recalled his past life where he had grown up beneath the metal sky. He saw the darkened sky far in the east where the noble city of Treno glowed with exuberance. He saw the dark storm clouds of Burmecia. The ship tilted as Liam navigated them through the rigid mountain range, turning them towards the impending storm that lingered like a heavy coat.
What was Blank thinking, Zidane wondered to himself. How could he so incredibly reckless? The Outer Continent was dangerous. Going alone was never an option. Zidane's stomach constricted at the thought of Blank being wounded, or even worse, killed. And over him? Zidane couldn't live with that thought. In his youth, Blank and Zidane had stuck to each other like glue. As orphans and thieves, it was the only tactic to stay alive in the seedy underbelly of the City of Industry. Blank had been the person he'd always gone to for advice. And the only person he'd let ridicule him for his dismal dating record. But now Blank needed advice and Tantalus sent for Garnet to do it for them. Liam kept the wheel steady, his eyes trained forward.
"Why would this Blank-fellow go to the Burmecian Ports from Lindblum?" The pilot wondered aloud. He seemed to draw Garnet from a long train of thought. "This is the one from your party, yes? The one who asked to speak with you in private? What's his motive with all of this?"
Garnet tucked a dark lock of hair behind her ear. "I was very good friends with Blank's brother, Zidane, before he…" Garnet tilted her head. "Disappeared. Blank's not very accepting of the facts. I may be the only one who can talk him down."
"He believes Zidane is still alive?" Liam glanced to Garnet, who only nodded. "Do you agree with him?"
Zidane cautiously peaked at Garnet, whose dark eyes scanned the sky. "I want to," She finally said. "But people look at you like you're crazy when you say that. When a person's been gone for three-hundred and ninety-two days, it starts to become painfully obvious. But Blank has suffered the most of all of us."
"Well, I hope your friend realizes the sight-seeing ferry doesn't actually make a stop on the Outer Continent," Liam shrugged, tilting the wheel.
"Yes, I wonder what he's planning."
Zidane lowered his head for a moment, remembering all the risky plans Blank had devised in a moments notice when heists and thefts had gone wrong. Once, he cut a rope to a chandelier in a pub to get out of a blackjack deal. He had leapt off a roof and into a cart of hay just to escape the nobles in the high rises, watching him dart away with valuables. Blank wasn't scared to test himself. Zidane pursed his lips. "The sight-seeing ferry has lifeboats," He said, looking forward. "He'll probably just steal one of those."
"Hm… sounds risky," Liam commented.
"When we get there, you two should just stay beside the ship," Garnet told them. "I don't want Blank to feel threatened."
"What if he refuses you?" Zidane looked to her.
Garnet tilted her head. "You'll make your first arrest on duty, I suppose."
"Is Blank in trouble?" Zidane turned fully towards her now, cocking his head around Liam's shoulders. "You really want me to arrest him? Isn't he your friend?"
"Of course he is," Garnet nodded. "It wouldn't be a real arrest. But if I could just get him back to Alexandria safely, maybe I can negotiate with him in a more formal setting, once he's calmed down. I'm hoping he'll come willingly, but if not… would you sit in the cargo hold with him below?"
Zidane pursed his lips, glancing to the outer fringe of dark clouds. They were almost in Burmecia's jurisdiction. "Yes, Your Majesty."
"Thank you," Garnet smiled, reaching across to give his hand a squeeze. His body warmed.
"The ship has spotted someone on the path, is that him?" Liam asked. Garnet was quick to dart onto the deck. The air was growing cooler as they rapidly approached the storm.
Hurriedly, Garnet emerged back into the ship with her windblown hair. "That's him! Land up ahead!" Liam pulled a handle down from the ceiling and the engine hissed. The rain hit them only moments later and a turbulence shook them all to their core. Slowly, they began to lose altitude. "Have you ever flown this ship in the rain?" Garnet asked, gripping the wooden window sill.
"To be honest," Liam held the wheel that wanted to jerk in his hand. He pulled another level from beneath the console. "No. But worry not, Your Majesty. I will keep you safe." Zidane ran his tongue along the front of his teeth, looking the other way. The slanted rain pelted against the ship as it rocked and careened. They were losing speed rapidly. Liam pulled back on the wheel. "Please brace yourself. The ground could be mushy, the ship will shudder." Liam pulled a chain and the ship rocked as the landing stilts expanded. "Steady, steady…" Liam muttered to himself. A moment passed and the ground whirled near them. Garnet's stomach lurched inside of her.
The ship made contact with the flooded plains and it jolted aggressively. Garnet was tossed forward by great force and then thrown backwards. Zidane hit Liam's elbow, tilting the ship, as he squeezed behind him, catching Garnet just before she fell to the ground. The dart-ship groaned in protest as finally it came to a stop, the engine sizzling behind them. Garnet was breathing unsteadily as she clung to Zidane's chest piece. Her familiar body curved in his arms just the way it always had before. Liam pulled another chain, raking his hands through his hair, before he turned to see the scene of the knight who had deftly caught the Queen.
"Your Majesty, are you alright?" Liam reached for her, lifting Garnet from Zidane's arms.
"I'm fine, yes," Garnet pushed her hair from the frame of her face. "I suppose I didn't brace enough. Thank you, Zeke. I probably would have broken my head open."
"Well," Liam cupped Garnet's cheeks and she felt herself grow warm as he tilted her head. "We wouldn't want to lose any of that precious knowledge up there, would we?" Zidane ground his teeth together, trying not to scream.
The sound of hurried boots to wet gravel caught Zidane's attention and he stood, leaning his head out of the bridge. The rain thunked against his helmet, almost deafening him. Through the hazy fog, a jogging figure was beginning to appear. When he broke through, Zidane could have almost screamed again. It was Blank, who was running with a concerned face. He was looking towards the ship and slowed as he came closer. Zidane watched as he approached, examining the steaming ship up and down.
"Are you guys alright?" Blank called to him. He nearly crumpled at the sound of his brother's voice. Blank looked so tired. So much thinner. His red hair was a flattened, tangled mess on top of his head. His skin was so pale, as if the sun never reflected on him. "I saw you guys a few miles out, I thought you were gonna crash!"
"We're fine," Zidane told him, gripping the railing so tightly, he was sure he'd snap it in half.
In the next moment, Garnet appeared beside Zidane, uncaring of the rain coming down on her, soaking her to the bone. Blank opened his mouth for a beat before snapping it shut. He pursed his lips and tugged at his backpack straps before he simply kept walking. "Blank, wait!" Garnet called, scrambling down the ladder. Liam and Zidane followed, but as requested, they lingered near the ship. Zidane watched as the raindrops glided down Liam's velvet pilots jacket. "Blank!" Garnet's bangs stuck to her damp face as she reached for his arm. Blank harshly shrugged her off, however, backpedaling.
"I don't want to hear it, Dagger," He told her. "I'm going whether you like it or not. I can't waste my life, sitting around, hoping you'll make your mind up."
"Blank," Garnet shook her head, her face full of hurt. She panted as the cold storm came over them. "I just need more time! Please, let me help you."
"I don't want your help!" Blank shouted, holding his arms out at his side. "It's OK if you don't wanna care anymore, Dagger. He was my brother. But you have the audacity to show up with your new boyfriend to tell me to call it off?"
Garnet glanced over her shoulder, again shaking her head at Blank. She drooped her shoulders. "He's not my boyfriend, Blank. He's not… he's just a friend. Did you get my letter?" She asked as a raindrop streaked down her face.
"Yeah, I did," Blank's red eyes met hers brazenly. "And that's why I'm doin' it, Dagger. Zidane's alive. I know he is."
"Blank, please," Garnet inched towards him. "You know that I want to know the truth."
"You want confirmation he's dead!" Blank raised his voice. From a distance, Zidane looked on, feeling helpless and selfish. "So then you can get on with your life."
"That's not true," Garnet shot back. "You know I loved him."
"I'm going," Blank began stepping away. "I'll overturn every rock. I'll show you that General Beatrix didn't look hard enough."
"Please, my soldiers know valuable information and they can protect you," Garnet shouted after him. Blank paused for a moment. "I do want to help, Blank, but there are channels I must take."
"I don't want your handouts," Blank told her. "I know your heart isn't in it, Dagger. Nobody even cares anymore."
"I care!" Garnet insisted, pressing her hands to her chest. "Just give me time."
Blank turned back towards her, shaking his head. "Time's up, Dagger."
Garnet pursed her lips together, her heart burning in her chest. She tilted her head down, the rain pounding against her like all her internal conflictions. She squared her shoulders after a moment, lifting her olive face into the slanted rain. "Zeke!" She shouted. Blank furrowed his brow. It took a moment for Zidane to begin towards her side. Liam was right on his heels. "Blank, I'm sorry," Garnet's salty tears easily blended into the steady rain. "I have to take you back to Alexandria. It's for your own safety. Zeke, please escort Blank to the airship."
As Zidane began towards Blank, as rigid as a robot, the young man shook his head profusely. "I'm not going! None of you believe me, but I know it! Zidane's alive. I can feel it in my gut."
"Come on," Zidane said with a strained voice. "Let's just go back to Alexandria for the time being. Trust Her Majesty. She's right."
"What do you know?" Blank sneered. "Who's this, Your Majesty?"
"My personal bodyguard, Zeke," Garnet said with a soppy, stony face. "And he's quite skilled. Come back to Alexandria with me, Blank. Or we'll be forced to do this the hard way." Blank held a pensive look with Garnet. Zidane's body felt almost frozen. In the next moment, however, he began to turn away. "Zeke!" Garnet's voice rang out and it was like a command Zidane could not ignore. He surged forward, grabbing Blank's wrist. Blank jerked away, but Zidane remained latched on. Together, they began dancing, sidestepping, with each other. But Zidane knew Blank all too well. As Blank's hand raced backwards in an attempt to stun Zidane, he caught it, twisting both of Blank's arms behind him, linking their arms at the elbows. Blank writhed and howled to be let go, but Zidane didn't let up. His heart wrenched in his chat as she staggered backwards, looking towards Garnet.
"He's contained, Your Majesty."
Garnet's shoulders rose and fell like the turmoil that stewed in her belly. "Liam, open the cargo door."
"What am I?! An animal to you?!" Blank yelled as he jerked in Zidane's arms.
"It's for your own good," Garnet said, her voice wavering.
"You don't know what's good for me!"
Zidane was slow to inch across the marshy plain as he held Blank tightly, dragging him towards the airship. Liam held the door open, ready to snap it shut as if a rabid animal was being contained. Garnet's face was tear streaked and she shook ferociously in the cold, splintering rain. Blank was quite resistant. Tugging and pulling at Zidane's arms, unknowingly pulling at his own heart strings. They staggered into the low cargo hold and Zidane nodded, grounding his teeth together.
"Close the door."
"Zeke, be careful!" Garnet cried as the door slammed shut.
Two low-burning candles hung on the walls, encasing them, otherwise, in near darkness. The moment the ringing of the latch rose, Blank let out a scream, hurling his head backwards. He nailed Zidane in the chain and he staggered, his helmet flying from his head. Zidane grabbed a support beam as his eyes spun. Behind them, the shudder of the engine came alive. Zidane lowered his head, holding his jaw that had received a gash. He blinked rapidly, however, when he realized his helmet was glinting in the edge of a pool of orange light from the candle. Slowly, Zidane lifted his head, turning rigidly to face Blank. The damp, red headed man was visibly shaking, his eyes a blistering red, already glossy, and his brow furrowed in total anguish.
"Is this some sort of joke?!" Blank hissed, coming closer. "You look exactly like Zidane. If you were blond, I'd swear."
Zidane closed his eyes and pursed his lips. "It's me, Blank…"
"I don't believe you," Blank walked away in the next moment, holding his throbbing temple. "It's just in my mind. You're not really there. It's just like all the nightmares."
"Blank," Zidane surged forward, grabbing his tense arm. "It's me, Zidane. You sailed me around the world on the Blue Narciss, you were there for me when we faced all those dragons…" Zidane took a moment to catch his breath. "You looked at the end of the world with me."
Blank looked to him, his red eyes the size of saucers. "No… no, this isn't real!" Blank pulled away from him, staggering into the wall as the ship turned sharply, presumably to return to Alexandria. Blank cried openly now, looking to Zidane in utter terror. "This isn't possible. You can't be Zidane. Your name is Zeke!"
Zidane felt hot tears start welling up in his eyes, a shame drenching him from the inside out. "It's a fake name, Blank. Nobody knows I'm alive. Not even Dagger."
Blank held in a choked sob. "But… why?"
Zidane himself fell into the wall as the ship careened the other way. Zidane looked across the narrow cargo room at his crying brother. He could only mirror the same emotion. He had been selfish, he told himself. He really was the Angel of Death. An instrument of utter torture. He hurt himself, he hurt others. It was just what he did. "I don't know…" Zidane finally said, barely above a whisper. He cast his eyes down, shaking his head. "I thought maybe to protect everyone I loved… from me." Zidane swallowed hard, looking to Blank with his wet eyes. "If you knew who I truly was, Blank… the whole reason I was even created."
"You're talking crazy," Blank nearly lamented, turning his head against the wall. "Just like you do in all my nightmares."
"Well, your nightmares are true," Zidane told him, his voice nearly cracking. "I'm the Angel of Death, Blank. The true perfection of it. Kuja was only a reject."
"None of that makes sense, Zidane," Blank shook his head. "You're as normal as anybody living on Gaia"
"Blank, I…" Zidane pursed his lips, his eyes throbbing. "I don't even have parents. I never did. I was made in a test tube. I'm nothing but an experiment."
Blank's hot tears fell down his rosy cheeks. "But… you're like my brother. How could you possibly not be human?"
"It's a mysterious universe, Blank," Zidane shook his head. "I've seen it from the beginning to the end…"
Blank rubbed at his eyes, trying to shake off the total madness he felt that gripped him. "Why are you doing this, though? Why would you just let everyone think you're dead?"
Zidane pursed his lips. "Like I said, I don't know what got me into this mess in the first place. I just… I don't know, Blank. I don't even know who the hell I am anymore. What I found out about myself, about my origin… I think the worlds a better place without me."
"And what the hell do you know about the world today?" Blank nodded his head at him. Zidane was quiet. "Do you know how many people miss you? How long have you been Dagger's bodyguard anyway?"
"I don't know," Zidane shrugged. "Maybe a week and a half… two weeks at best."
"How could you do this?" Blank's voice was hot and angry. "How could you keep this to yourself? You couldn't even tell me? You just let me suffer?" Zidane lowered his swollen eyes, drawing his lips together. Blank tilted his head. "Were you only thinking about Dagger? Are you just watching the tides, seeing if you still have a chance?"
"Blank…" Zidane closed his eyes. "It's more complicated than that. I… I just ended up in Alexandria. It's all just a blur for me."
"You chose her over me, just say it," Blank shook his head. "You'd have rather gone undercover to investigate some girl you like than lay low with me in Lindblum,"
"I didn't choose anyone!" Zidane raised his voice now, parting from the wall. The airship engined groaned in the background. "No one is supposed to know I'm alive, Blank. You have to keep this under raps. I'm not ready to be forced to be me again. I don't know if I ever want to be me again. And I definitely don't want to be King of anything. I could never be with Dagger, even if I wanted to. The only thing I can do now is be someone else, living someone else's fantasy."
Blank licked his chapped lips, almost pensively. "So, what, you're tellin' me I can't let Cinna or Marcus or even Boss know you're alive?"
"No one, Blank," Zidane shook his head. "I need to deal with some things on my own."
Blank sighed. "You're such an asshole… but at least I know it's really you now."
Zidane also sighed, holding his arm out. "I'm sorry, Blank. But how about one more dirty secret to bury between us for the time being?"
Blank was quiet a moment before he pushed himself from wall, locking forearms with Zidane. "It's a deal for now. But it's stupid, Zidane."
The young knight could only grin. "So I've heard…"