Under an escalator lived a boy named Harry Potter. Since his parents didn't have enough room for him, they made him live under the staircase. They knew it sounded horrible, so they tried to make it sound cool. They would tell Harry that it was an Amish escalator. It seemed to work. For eleven years, he's lived under that escalator, all while his parents saved to expand their house and give Harry the room he deserves. It broke their heart to watch him crawl out of his cupboard every morning and get ready for school. Mr. Potter had installed some shelves and tried to keep the spiders out as best he could, but it was a losing battle. Harry always put on his round glasses and walked to the kitchen to eat breakfast without ever complaining.

On his way to school one morning, the huge man who had arrived in town a few weeks ago, called for Harry's attention. No one but Harry ever went near him. To everyone else, this tall man is a creepy guy who sleeps under a bridge. To Harry, he's a wise role model.

"Yer a wizard!" the massive man yelled. "Yer able to go through the brick walls to get to Platform Nine and Three Quarters." Harry rushed over to him and found out about muggles and other wizardly things. He learned more about Platform Nine and Three Quarters and decided it must be a test. The test consisted of a human and a brick wall. If you could go through the brick wall, then you're a wizard. Harry decided to take the test. He walked around Godric's Hollow until he found a brick building that had fit his standards. He examined the rough red bricks and patted the wall. After nodding, he turned around and took 10 steps. Then he turned back to the wall and bolted forward as fast as he could. He believed he could do it. He believed that so much, that in his mind he did do it. He went through the wall. That means he's a wizard. He had been on his way to school, but he knew it wasn't as important as his amazing news. He ran home and found his parents. The Potters didn't have steady jobs, as Mr. Potter had inherited his family's fortune. However, it was running out. Lily Potter was cleaning the kitchen while James Potter was reading the Getting Closer to Almost Daily Prophet and drinking coffee. Harry burst through the door with a thud. His parents looked towards him, worried why he wasn't on his way to school.

"I'm a wizard!" he exclaimed, out of breath from running all the way home.

They noticed his broken glasses, bruises, and dirt. They looked towards each other wearily. Their gazes returned to Harry before Mrs. Potter spoke. "Y-you're a… a what?"

"Fear not, dear muggle family! I shall use my wizardry power for good and not evil!" he declared while looking into the distance.

"What's a muggle?" Mr. Potter asked as his concerned hazel eyes landed on Harry.

Ignoring her husband's question, Mrs. Potter asked her own. "Harry, are you feeling alright? What happened to you?"

"Dear citizen, I will educate you of my backstory! A half-giant told me that I am a wizard! I then took the Wizard Test and passed! I passed right through that brick wall!" Harry explained.

"Wizards don't exist, Harry. And don't run into brick walls," Mr. Potter said.

Mrs. Potter gave her husband a disappointed glare. She started whispering to him. "Don't be so blunt! He must be playing a game. All boys his age have very vivid imaginations."

"How many of them run home from school spouting off nonsense about being a wizard?" he whispered back.

"It's just a harmless phase."

"A harmless phase? Lily, he broke his glasses and is covered in bruises. Not to mention he's missing school."

Mrs. Potter nodded in agreement. "The self-harm is bad, but... I don't think he has the idea to retake the test. And he only ran home to tell us about the big news."

Mr. Potter hesitated before speaking again. "I hope you're right."

For weeks they humored him. They played along in hopes he would grow out of this phase. Unfortunately, he never did. He kept waving around twigs and running into brick walls. He was harmful to himself and those around him. Harry kept talking to the supposed half-giant and learned even more ridiculous things. How could this have happened? They kept him away from this line of thought. They tried to protect him. They failed. It wasn't the first time someone in their family had believed they were a wizard. It wasn't even the second or the third. That's why they kept Harry away from the rest of his family. Still, it wasn't enough. They did some research and talked to some other people. Eventually, they decided to talk to Harry's teacher.

"You know, my son had the same problem. We sent him away to a special school and then he came back good as new!"

"Really?" Mrs. Potter asked, her bright green eyes hopeful that this school would be able to help.

"Oh, yeah! This is way more common than you think. Seems almost every child nowadays is starting to believe in magic. It's a responsibility thing, really. There's a big school called Hogwarts. They help children who believe they're wizards by teaching them how to be independent. And... I believe they also have a biology program of some sort."

"That sounds lovely!" Mrs. Potter exhaled.

"How do we sign him up?" Mr. Potter asked. The teacher gave them some information and the Potters went to follow the procedures to enroll Harry.

Just before bedtime that night, Mrs. Potter decided to tell Harry. In his cupboard laying on a small feather bed, Harry was holding a grey rock that had fit in the palm of his hand. He got that rock many years ago while on a walk. It was a rainy day and it seemed like the sun wasn't even trying to shine through the dark clouds. The Potter's had been cooped up in the house all day and Harry had energy to burn. They knew he'd have to go outside at some point. They waited for the rain to become calm, but that never happened. Eventually, they decided not to wait any longer and brought Harry into the stormy weather. There were puddles everywhere and even more mud. It was a recipe for disaster. They brought a large umbrella and wore raincoats and rain boots, rain hats, and even rain pants. They knew they were protected from the standard rain, but Harry was the one they were worried about. He jumped in every puddle whether it was full of water or mud. As expected, mud got everywhere. Harry didn't mind, he just kept running while his parents prayed he wouldn't slip. Near the end of the walk, Harry was far ahead of his parents. He approached a puddle in the grass next to the sidewalk. He was about to jump in the deep puddle but stopped last minute as he saw a rock covered by water in the puddle. "He's drowning!" Harry yelled. His parents rushed towards him to see what he was talking about. Harry pointed to the rock and looked like he was about to cry. Mr. Potter bent down and lifted the rock out of the water. He showed Harry that it was okay and then gave him the rock to hold. "Can we keep it?" Harry asked. Mr. and Mrs. Potter chuckled at the fact that he was asking as if it was a real animal. They agreed and walked home. Mrs. Potter washed the mud off the rock at the kitchen sink and then gave it back to Harry. Him in his four-year-old mind, named the rock, Rock. Throughout all these years, he's taken great care of Rock. Even now, he holds it in his hand.

Mrs. Potter struggled to find the words to say. When they enrolled him, they were instructed to tell Harry that Hogwarts is a school for wizards to improve their magic. She didn't want to lie to him, but she knew it would be the only way to make him go.

"Harry, I know that you think you're… a wizard…" Some of her long auburn hair fell into her face.

"I am a wizard indeed!" he said in his announcer inspired voice that he adopted after getting the crazy idea that he's a wizard.

"Yes, well, I um… You've been accepted into a school for wizards."

"Ahah! I am not only a wizard, but I am also a wizard who is amazing at wizarding!"

Mrs. Potter stared at him and then clicked off his lantern. She said goodnight and left the cupboard to go sleep on a pull-out sofa that she and her husband bought at a garage sale.

Finally, the day arrived. Harry would be getting on a train to leave. He'll get help. It's a good thing, Mrs. Potter told herself. She looked at her son's broken glasses that had been repaired numerous times. Each time there was another brick wall waiting to put them back into a broken state. Mr. Potter had just repaired his glasses the night before, but on the way into King's Cross station, Harry ran into another brick wall. They waited for the train and tried to keep Harry from running into any other walls. The train arrived and stopped at the station. Harry put Rock in the small pocket of one of his bags.

"You'll be safe in there, little citizen," Harry said to the rock as he closed the pocket. Someone came to get his bags and then put them in a train car. Soon it was time for Harry to board the locomotive.

"I will not forget about you, dear muggle family!" he said as he jumped onto the train. He disappeared into the crowd of people who were boarding the train. Harry's parents were hopeful that this school would be able to fix him.

Harry raced around the train until he was out of breath. He waited a moment and then began to run around again. He made a lot of noise since he couldn't be happier to be going to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. A few adults started chasing after him. Harry didn't mind them tagging along in his fun, but he soon realized they wanted him to stop. Harry then treated the situation like a high-speed chase. He made his own background music by trying to make sounds that were similar to electric guitars and drums. Unfortunately for Harry, they caught up with him and he was told to sit down. He got very angry. Harry's a wizard. No muggle will tell him what to do. He explained his distaste for the situation, but they wouldn't listen and they kept telling him to sit down. He thought about putting a curse on them but decided it wasn't the kind and responsible thing to do. Superheros don't put curses on people, they send them to prison. One of the adults told Harry that they work at Hogwarts and that wizards are supposed to be calm and collected. After hearing this, Harry was even more confident in his decision to not curse anyone. He sat down to think about what he was told. The several adults that had been chasing Harry left after he had finally taken a seat. Harry continued to think. He is a wizard. To be a good wizard, he needs to be calm and collected. Harry decided then that he would be the most responsible and powerful wizard ever. He fixed his posture and remained seated. He did not move, talk, or look around. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see that the train had golden-brown walls, red chairs, brown flooring, and a red carpet over the aisle. For about ten minutes, he did nothing but sit and stare at the seat in front of him. After those ten minutes, he decided that it's okay to be a little bit relaxed. He slouched just a bit and turned his head to look out the window. There were a lot of people walking around. Some with luggage and some without. Some tall and others short. Old, young. Slow, fast. Energetic, tired. Some carried wands. Of course, muggles think they're twigs. Only wizards who have passed the Wizard Test can tell the difference. Harry was ecstatic for wizard school. He was sure it would be awesome. He continued to look out the window until someone sat down in front of him.

"Yo, dude! Wassup?" A rambunctious red-haired boy jumped around in his seat.

"Do I know you, citizen?" Harry boldly asked with his arms bent and fists on his sides.

"Nah, bro. I just legit walked up to you. The name's Ron. Ron Weasley. I'm a wizard." Ron must have had some kind of speech impediment because his words were slurred. He also stopped every few words to sniff. Harry deduces that he probably has a cold. He settled down in the seat and started ripping the red seat cushion apart.

"I am also a wizard, as well, too, also," Harry declared. "My name is Harry Potter, dear citizen!"

Ron stopped ripping the cushion upon hearing Harry's name. "Harry Potter?!"

"You know of my awesomeness, citizen?"

"You're practically famous!" Ron said as he took some of the stuffing out of the cushion.

"I do my best!" Harry said bashfully.

"I mean, I knew this school was gonna be great, but now I know a Potter!" He waved the stuffing around as he talked occasionally bringing it to his mouth to eat it.

"A Potter? Is my dear muggle family well-known?"

"Well not you guys specifically, but your career choice," he said with a slight grin as he got more stuffing.

"Career choice?"

"Yeah, Potters. You sell stuff."

"What kind of stuff, citizen?"

"Illegal stuff," Ron answered as he ate more stuffing.

"...Are you referring to drugs, dear druggie?"

"Hey! I'm not some drug addict, okay? I'm a druggist. Y'know, a drug enthusiast. Like a pharmacist, except I take the drugs instead of giving them."

"That doesn't make drugs any less illegal, youngster!" It's Harry's job to use his wizard powers for good, but Ron wouldn't listen.

Ron continued to eat the stuffing. "I heard there's a candy car, broseph." Harry ignored him and tried to think of ways to convince his new friend that drugs are bad for you. "Hello? Let's go to the candy car!" Ron stood up revealing that the cushion was missing a lot of stuffing.

"Okay, citizen." Harry will make sure Ron stays out of trouble. It's his duty.

They arrived at the train's candy car and saw a lot of other people. The car had many bright colors. The counters and tabletops were magenta, along with the cushions of the chairs. The walls were yellow with candy wrappers stapled on like polka dots. Brown tiles covered the floor along with some fallen crushed wrappers here and there. The menu was listed in many different colors on a green chalkboard behind the counter. Many glass bowls filled with sugary candy were on display. The clerk wore a magenta apron over a yellow uniform. He also had a yellow and magenta hat. He seemed friendly enough, not happy or miserable with his job. The bright orange garbage cans were eyesores that overflowed with candy wrappers. Each time someone walked by, some of the wrappers would follow in the breeze and then land on the floor. Ron went to the counter to buy something while Harry stood back, watching from afar.

"Excussse me, would you fill out thissss 50-page sssssurvey about your knowledge of ssssnakesss?" A boy with grey eyes and blond hair almost as white as snow held a stack of papers out to Harry. "I'm enrolled in the biology program and we are going to ssstudy sssnakesssss. I thought it would be fun to sssee how much people already know. We'll be educating people about sssnakessss."

"Dear muggle boy, I am Harry the great! The best wizard this world has ever seen. My time cannot be wasted by filling out surveys."

The boy gave a disappointed glare. "...I underssstand. The sssurvey issss long, and I'm sure you value your time. Jussst know that people who know nothing of sssnakessss are the onesss who get bit. I'll be in the housssse of Ssslithern'." The boy walked away and found some other people to talk to.

Harry jumped onto the table watching for trouble. The counter is doing fine. The tables are a little messy, but there's no trouble. The— Harry was broken out of his thoughts when someone came running in. They wore a mask and had a sense of urgency as they ran in.

"Give me the candy!" They held out a brown bag as they demanded the goods. There's the trouble! Hogwarts will be a lot of work. The new class already has a drug issue and a robbery issue. No... Not the class, or the school… This is Harry's problem now. He needs to help solve this. The clerk anxiously filled the robber's bag as quickly as he could.

"Halt!" Harry yelled. "There is no reason to steal this candy, thief!"

"Stay out of this!" the robber commanded.

"Have no fear, citizens, for I am Harry Potter, Protector of Hogwarts. Scoundrel, just think about it! If you steal this candy, this clerk will lose a lot of money. He won't be able to support his muggle family or even himself. All for what? So you can have some candy for free? Candy has no nutritional value, citizen. You'll just be consuming empty calories and excessive sugar! You'll become obese and have lots of cavities. Plus, stealing is wrong and it will make the clerk sad."

The robber stopped and thought about what Harry just said. After a moment, they dumped the contents of the bag on the counter and apologized. They dropped the bag on the floor and ran to the door of the car. They tore off their mask to reveal long bushy brown hair. She got to a vacant car and sat down at a table. "Great job, Hermione. Look what you did," she whispered to herself. One of the doors flew open and Harry came running in. "You're right," she started as Harry caught his breath. "Stealing is wrong. I forgot that, somehow."

Harry pointed at her. "You're going to jail, evildoer!"

"What? But I gave the candy back..."

"Nope! I will not let this slide. It is my job to protect Hogwarts even if we're just on the Polar Express now."

"...Oh. I guess I should have seen this coming."

Now, the next problem. Where is jail? "I shall use my magic to lock you in a magical cage for eternity!"

"For attempting to steal candy? Also, magic isn't real."

Harry gasped so loudly it was practically a scream. "Oh you poor muggle child. Maybe jail will teach you." He waved his wand around and chanted a spell. "Abra Kadabra, Lock This Person Away…ya." Nothing happened. "That's odd. Hm, maybe..." He pushed her under a table and chanted another spell. "Alakazam, turn this table into a cage...bam." There, citizen, you'll never get out of there!"

She immediately moved out from under the table and stood up. "See, magic doesn't exist."

"You're not a muggle at all! You must be a… mudblood!"

"Mud what?"

Harry backed away from her. "What spell did you use?!"

"I didn't use any spell. And you didn't either. You just waved around a twig you found in your backyard."

"How dare you, mudblood!"

"So are you still on this jail thing, or can I go?"

"Oh you are so going to jail. Since my magic isn't that powerful yet, I'll have to give you probation."

"Probation?! Does that mean I have to hang out with you?"

"Yes. For eternity."

"Aw. You have no friends, do you?"

"That's not the point. Also, I have a nickname for you. Would you like to hear it?"

"Go for it."

"Mud."

"Mud? Why mud?"

"Because you're a mudblood, obvi."

"Obvi? And what is a mudblood?"

"We'd better be going, Mud." Harry grabbed her by the wrist and brought her back to his train car where Ron was passed out on the floor.

"Oh my gosh! Is he dead?!" Hermione shouted as she rushed over to Ron.

"Maybe. Why don't you check for me, Mud."

"Stop calling me that!" She knelt next to him and took his pulse.

Ron sat up and rose his arms high above his head. "YAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

Harry looked out the window. "Oh hey Ron."

Hermione helped Ron sit up. "What happened?"

"Well, the last thing I remember was sniffing this chocolate bar in the candy car. I don't know how I got here though…" He looked around as if this room was completely new to him.

"You… sniffed a chocolate bar?" Hermione asked, checking his head for bumps.

"Oh yeah, you can get high off of anything if you try hard enough." Hermione helped him to his seat before Harry directed her to stay close by. She reluctantly took a seat next to him.

"So… hypothetically, if I ran away from you... what would you do?" Hermione asked.

"I would tell the leader of this fine establishment that you attempted to steal candy from the candy car. Then they would put it on your Hogwarts record. Then every teacher who reads your file will know you're a thief and you tried to steal on your first day of school. Wouldn't you rather forget this happened?" Harry explained smugly.

"Why do you have to be smart now?" she muttered.

They all sat for a long time. Hermione was bored. She couldn't fall asleep with Ron's loud outbursts, and there was nothing else to do. Harry was having a conversation with Ron, but Hermione didn't want to be involved. Ron's probably on probation too. For good reason, by the looks of it.

They continued to sit. Hermione looked around the train. "I'm so bored. Harry gimme your glasses."

"Why, Mud?"

"Whenever my family members were out on a— Er, at work, I would be super bored. I would read this eyeglass repair book over and over until they came back. Now I'm really good at fixing glasses. Anyway, I noticed yours are broken."

"Oh, thank you," he said, giving his glasses to Hermione.

She worked slowly, appreciative of having something to do. The glasses were black and had circular lenses. The frame was held together by tape and had lots of scratches. Even once she made an acceptable repair, she didn't return them. They were good as new when Harry got them back.

"How did they break?" Hermione asked.

"I took the Wizard Test, dear citizen!"

"What Wizard Test?" Ron asked.

"The one where you run through a brick wall."

"You mean you didn't pass?" Hermione asked.

"I did pass! I just broke my glasses and got some bruises. It's all part of the test!"

"I need to take that test!" Ron yelled, standing up but falling to the floor.