Harry Potter And The New Game

It was a quiet Saturday afternoon at Hogwarts. The weather had put a damper on outside activities. There was a thunderstorm going on, but it was a rather mild one – not even a properly exciting storm.

But that didn't matter. Luna Lovegood was on a mission. No, strike that – A Mission.

Her father had recently discovered a fascinating Muggle game called, for no reason she could determine, "Horse." There had to be some hidden meaning behind the name, which involved orange balls and no farm animals whatsoever. Since virtually no one at Hogwarts was interested in Muggle games, however, she had to adapt the principles to an existing game.

Quidditch was the obvious first choice, but Quidditch fanatics would tolerate no tampering with the rules. So she had to find another Wizarding game that she could test her theories on.

Quite a few students had gathered in the Great Hall for some inter-house games. At one of the tables, Harry was involved in a rather lackluster game of Exploding Snap with Ron and Hermione.

As they finished a hand, Luna approached them.

"Oh, hullo, Luna. Care to join us?"

Luna smiled vaguely and sat down at an empty seat. "Thank you."

"Do you want in on the next hand? It's not much to do, but better than nothing."

"I was hoping you'd invite me. I just invented a new variant of the game, and I was looking for some people to try it out. It's derived from a Muggle game that has nothing to do with farm animals, but they named it after one of them anyway." She quickly explained her rules.

Harry shrugged. It didn't seem like much of a change, and remarkably tame for something from Luna Lovegood. About as pointless as most of her notions, but for once relatively harmless. "Sounds simple enough." And he dealt the cards.

Down in the dungeons, Severus Snape was working in his classroom. Weekends were his favorite time. No irritating students to interrupt him, no other professors looking over his shoulder, just him and his laboratory.

He was working on a new potion. If anyone asked, it was a variant on the Strengthening potion that had less unpleasant side effects. But its true purpose was to finally cure him of his greasy, stringy hair. (The last attempt had "cured" it by making it all fall out; fortunately, he'd worked out a hair restorative before he started. That one was another he didn't share.)

He carefully added the final ingredient and began to slowly stir the solution counterclockwise. He'd calculated that 90 seconds of stirring would be needed, and then he could move on to the next step. He carefully reached to turn on the burner...

And then came to his senses flat on his back. A cloud of smoke was slowly dissipating on the ceiling. As he painfully climbed to his feet, patting himself for injuries, he noticed that his hands and his counter were coated with soot. A glance in the mirror confirmed that his face was well blacked, as well.

He shook his head, trying to dispel the ringing in his ears while he went over every step he had taken. No, he'd made no mistakes. There was no logical reason why the mixture should have been in any way volatile, and even if he had, none of his actions should have triggered a detonation. He grimaced. Some student had probably gimmicked his lab as a prank. He began carefully examining anything for further signs of tampering.

Harry laid down his cards. A bolt of thunder struck as he did so, but it was too faint to be properly dramatic. "OK, that's 'E' for me. And since that's the fifth hand I've won, that means I win the game. What do we do now?"

Luna looked at him, puzzled. "Why, we start a new game." She picked up the cards and began shuffling.

Snape had nearly finished examining his entire lab. Infuriatingly, not only could he find no signs of other tampering, he couldn't find any trace of whatever had triggered the first incident.

Once he was certain the burner itself was perfectly normal, he decided he needed a few minutes to go over everything in his mind. He paced over to his desk, sat down in his chair...

And found himself once again flat on his back, ears ringing, and covered in soot. His chair was nothing but splinters – several of which were embedded in his posterior.

That was impossible. He'd thoroughly checked the entire room, including his chair. In fact, he'd checked it three times – he was intimately familiar with the sophomoric delight brats found in sabotaging the teacher's seat. It was his first suspicion. And yet, as soon as he'd sat in it, it had detonated.

He grimly got to his feet and decided he'd had enough for now. Besides, he also now had a tremendous headache. Forget the potion; he was going to go thoroughly shower, pick splinters out of his skin, and lie down until the pains subsided.

This time Hermione claimed the victory. It had been closer this time; Harry had won three hands, and Ron four (Luna only one), but she was the first to five. "Well, that's the first time I've won one of these games in ages. It still seems rather pointless, though." Another faint roll of thunder echoed to absolutely no one's notice.

Luna shrugged and started collecting the cards again. "For some reason, the Muggles find the concept of winning five contests significant. I've looked carefully for some numerological or arithmantic symbolism behind it, but so far I've found nothing. Would you mind trying one more time?"

The other players looked up at the ceiling. The thunderstorm continued on, almost lethargically.

This time, Ron claimed the victory. "There, that's my 'E'. And I've had enough of this silly thing. How about some Wizard Chess?"

Luna looked crestfallen. "But we still haven't figured out the significance of five victories. Maybe we should play it twice more and see?"

Just then another crash of thunder rattled the castle. Not enough to cause anything besides mild notice and irritation, but it oddly seemed to be coming from below, not above.

Harry shook his head. "No, I think I'd rather play chess. Maybe you need five players to make it work."

Luna stood up. "I had not considered that. I shall have to do some more research, and perhaps next time I will try it with five players." She turned and left.

Ron pulled out his Wizard Chess set. "Told you, she's dotty. She actually found a way to make Exploding Snap dull."