The end of summer had quickly approached and everyone was getting ready to go back to school year routines. They buzzed around the Burrow deciding what they would need for the next year. Most would be going to Hogwarts, but Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, and Ginny were not among that group. Ginny had spent about half a semester at Hogwarts but went home. With Harry warning people about the Muggle Epidemic, students worried that they would stop believing in magic as well. Most of that had blown over, but this summer hadn't been that easy for Ginny. Percy, Fred, George, and Ron kept telling her that she should return to Hogwarts. They feared that she'd never reach her magical potential. Others tried to tell them that magic doesn't exist and that they should be more like Ginny. Hermione, however, mostly stayed out of this. She defended Ginny when she needed to, but she had mostly given up on being able to convince them that they're not magical. Hermione still loved it at the Burrow. This time, she went directly from Hogwarts to the Burrow instead of going home for a little while. She sent a short letter to her parents notifying them that she was going to be with the Weasley's for another summer.

Today, they would be going to London to get some school supplies for Ginny. Hogwarts is notorious for not needing anything but a skeleton. They provide clothes, books, pencils, paper, food, everything you need. Ginny would be going to a real school where she would be graded. Hermione had wanted to go to a real school but is starting to like how easy Hogwarts is.

The Weasley's and Hermione sat at a long table and ate breakfast. Ron came down the stairs looking like he hadn't gotten any sleep. His hair was messy and he looked like he would fall over at any moment.

"You look like you just got hit by a bus," George said.

"What happened?" Hermione asked.

"I had a nightmare about a letter that was screaming at me." He sat down at the table. "It was horrible." Hermione and most of the Weasley's snickered at his reaction to a dream about a screaming letter. "YOU WEREN'T THERE!"

"At least there weren't spiders on the letter," Fred teased.

Laugher started again and Ron grabbed some toast and went back to his room. Hermione followed him and watched as he removed a poster from his wall and took some drugs out.

"Aw come on, Ron. They're just joking around."

"Easy for you to say. They think you're perfect."

"You have to admit that a dream about a scary letter is pretty funny."

"It's not! And spiders aren't funny either," Ron said as he inhaled a bag of drugs.

Soon breakfast ended, the chores were completed, and everyone piled into the rv and set out for London. Once they arrived, they parked the large rv in a parking lot. They got out and walked to the long street with many shops. Ron still looked like he hadn't fully woken up yet. They went through a few shops and bought various things. Ron was following behind the group but eventually drifted away. Hermione noticed him wandering around like a lost dog and approached him.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm looking for something," he answered.

Hermione watched as he walked around aimlessly. "Are you sure?"

"Yes." Ron then noticed a sign and gasped. He opened his eyes wide and bolted towards a costume shop called Ollivanders, that was advertising wands 30% off. The store wasn't brightly lit and seemed almost dreary. Many racks of clothes were on one side of the room and displays of props were on the other. The wooden floor creaked and the walls were crumbling. Ron went to the counter and rang the bell. The clerk woke up and the newspaper that was lying on him fell off. He stood up and said hello to Ron.

"Is this the place Joanne recommended?" Diagon Alley?" Ron asked.

"Yes!" the clerk exclaimed.

"Really?" Hermione challenged. "You don't even need her last name? You know every Joanne?"

"Well, I assume he's talking about my favorite customer!" Ron looked at the wands on display.

"Then, can you tell me her last name?" Hermione asked.

"Shame on you! I don't look at the private information about my loyal customers!" he exclaimed as he showed Ron the most expensive wand he had.

"I assume she's a regular at this shop," Hermione continued.

"She is!"

"Huh, that's funny. She hasn't left her bathroom in years," Hermione informed.

"That's why I make deliveries."

"To Scotland," Hermione said in disbelief.

"No distance is too far for my favorite customer. Though I think it's terrible that you would talk about someone behind their back like this."

"I'm just calling you out on your lies!"

"By using someone's private information. You are a terrible person, Miss."

Hermione took a deep breath. "Ron, have you picked one yet?"

"Yes, I want—" Before he could point, Hermione grabbed his wrist and led him out of the store. "Why'd you do that?"

"I have a plan. Which wand did you want?"

"The fourteen-inch willow one."

Hermione got close to the ground and peered into the shop through the open door. She watched as the clerk went back to reading his paper. "Can I borrow your drug coat?"

He looked at her suspiciously as he took his coat off and gave it to her.

Expecting the coat to be light, she almost dropped it as it was handed to her. "How many drugs are in here?!"

"A lot."

She put it on and then took off her shoes. She ignored Ron's bewildered face and told him to stay low and to be quiet.

She stayed low and silently snuck into the store. She crept up in front of the wand display and took one of the boxes of the fourteen-inch willow wand. She put the box securely in the coat and made her way out of the store. Hermione made sure no one watched as she gave the box to Ron who was giving her a look of astonishment. She put her shoes back on and gave Ron's coat back.

Ron still looked shocked. "How… where did you learn… why did you…"

"He was being rude."

"And the shoes…?"

"To be quieter."

"And how did you learn this?"

Hermione didn't answer. Ron kept asking, but she wouldn't even acknowledge the question. They found the rest of the Weasley's and no one mentioned how Ron got his new wand.

The days past and it was time to get back to Hogwarts. Ginny's school year wouldn't start for another week, so she would be going with everyone to King's Cross station. Mr. Weasley put the heavy trunks in the rv while Mrs. Weasley finished making some sandwiches for the train. Ron took the drugs out of the hole in his wall and put them in his trunk. Hermione came in to see if he was done yet.

"Are you done packing?"

Ron closed his trunk as Hermione noticed Scabbers and picked him up. He made some low pitched squeaks and tried jumping out of her hands. Hermione put Scabbers in his carrier and they led the way for Ron and his drug trunk. They all got in the rv and sat down. Mr. Weasley got into the driver's seat and started the rv. They pulled out of the driveway and went to King's Cross station.

They walked into the train station and found the platform they needed. Harry was already there wearing a brown hat with fake teeth on it. "Cheerio, mates," he greeted.

"You went to Australia for the summer?" Ron assumed.

"Yep! I befriended a kangaroo and learned to play the didgeridoo."

"Aren't kangaroos dangerous?" Hermione asked.

"Isn't Australia as a whole, dangerous?" Ron asked.

"It does rain spiders, so you wouldn't like it, Ron. However, Roo and I wiped out all the crime of Australia along with Hedwig and Rock."

"Have you had any more trouble with your Aunt and Uncle?" Hermione asked while Ron was still shuddering from the thought of spiders raining from the sky.

"I wanted to bring Roo back to Britain so we could fight off Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon, but they wouldn't let him on the plane. You dropkick three people and they think you're dangerous. Anyway, I managed to get into my house and get my things." Harry pointed to his luggage. "Hedwig and Rock worked as a team to keep me safe from Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon."

"How?" Ron asked.

"Hedwig dropped Rock on their heads," Harry answered.

The train arrived and everyone began boarding. Harry brought Hedwig, Rock, and a bag as carry-on. Ron had brought Scabbers, his wand, and his own bag, and Hermione brought only a small lunchbox that Mrs. Weasley had filled earlier. Dozens of passengers were walking down the aisle of their train car, looking for seats. Most traveled down the train, but a few determined passengers went against the crowds and traveled up the train. They arrived at the last car and Hedwig flew off Harry's shoulder. He picked up Rock in his talons before placing him on the table. Finally, Hedwig perched himself on Harry's shoulder.

"Rock and Hedwig are best friends," Harry informed.

Ron and Hermione nodded, wondering if Hedwig was just as crazy as Harry. Their thoughts were forced to change focus to a high pitched bray. They jumped to the small platform on the back of the train and saw Mrs. Dursley madly neighing. She was riding a strange contraption along with Mr. Dursley. It was one of those see-saw things that ride along the rails. The difference was that they were sitting on plastic horses that were probably stolen from a carousel. They stopped and stood up. They each picked up a broom with a puppet-horse face on the end and began running to the train. They stepped onto the platform, the massive Mr. Dursley making the students move back into the train. They began galloping in place, rolled-up newspapers as their weapons. Swatting imaginary flies, they really believed they were intimidating everyone.

"This is a hold-up!" Mr. Dursley announced as Mrs. Dursley calmed down her braying.

"Not on my watch!" Harry announced as a short, round-faced, chubby kid timidly approached the platform. Harry took out his wand and pointed it at the Dursleys. The chubby kid was messing with some bolts. "Abra kadabra, begone with ya!" Harry chanted. As the words left his mouth, the platform cracked off the train and fell onto the tracks. The train whistled and began moving. "Haha," Harry began, "they're plan went down the tracks. Thanks to me, the Protector of Hogwarts."

"What are you talking about?" the chubby kid asked. "I loosened the bolts. Me, Neville Lo—"

"Ron! Mud! Can you believe my spell actually worked?! I just made it up on the spot! I'm an amazing wizard!"

They pulled out of the station and started being surrounded by trees. The passengers had settled down and taken permanent seats.

"Did your parents drop you off at King's Cross?" Hermione asked. "I didn't see them."

"They're still in Australia," Harry answered. "They came back to bring me at the beginning of last summer, but then sent me here by myself."

"Did you make all the invisible ink in Riddle's diary appear?" Ron asked, remembering the task he'd accepted last year.

"Yes I did!" Harry exclaimed.

"And?" Hermione asked impatiently.

"This diary is intriguing for two reasons. Our friend, Tom Riddle, seems to be an artist," Harry said as he dug through his bag in search of the diary. He found it and started flipping through the pages. "He drew a lot of pictures in here." Harry had put sticky notes on each page which had something other than a recipe. Ron and Hermione leaned in to look at the diary.

"Is that a… self-insert?" Hermione asked as she read the notes next to the pictures.

"Yes, from that book series, Dusk," Harry said. The notes depicted Tom Riddle as the best character whom everyone loves. He never does anything wrong and always has the right answers. He also wins the heart of Belley Trumpeter, a girl who already has two guys who fight over her.

"What a Gary Sue," Ron said in disgust.

"As for the second thing," Harry's serious tone caught Ron and Hermione off guard, "he wrote a sentence..." Harry flipped the pages. He arrived on the page and turned the book around to show Hermione and Ron.

"Death to Hogwarts," Hermione read.

"But he went to Hogwarts!" Ron reminded with a confused expression.

Harry left the book open on the table. "I don't know what he meant… and I don't know if this is an empty threat now that he's in jail, but it's my duty as the Protector of Hogwarts to ensure the safety of the school."

"We should talk to him," Hermione suggested. "Maybe being in jail will make him give us some straight answers."

They tried to get their minds off of Tom Riddle as they couldn't do anything while on the train. Ron, Hermione, and Harry played games until the train arrived at Hogwarts. They got off and traveled down the long Hogsmeade road. They followed the crowd into the stone building and walked to the Sorting Ceremony. They watched as Dumbledore fell down the stairs and reminisced their first day of Hogwarts, two years ago. Just like last time, he climbed back up the stairs as everyone passed by. They all shuffled in through the doors of the cafeteria. Students scrambled to their respective House tables and babbled with friends whom they had not spoken to since the previous term. Soon, the large doors creaked opened and the new first years nervously scuffled to the front of the room.

A professor with curly blonde hair stood up from the staff table. She walked in front of the table near a stool and waited for everyone's attention. "Welcome back to most of you, and welcome to Hogwarts for our new students! I am Professor Sybill Trelawney and I'll be sorting you to the four Houses using my psychic powers!" Hermione rolled her eyes while Harry remembered that he had made the Sorting Hat quit.

The professor walked back to the staff table and picked up a crystal ball. She brought it back to where she was standing and put it on the stool. Everyone except for Hermione watched her wave her hands around the crystal ball. She started listing off names and announcing their Houses. As Hermione's eyes wandered around the room, she noticed that Trelawney was just reading off of a list that another professor was holding for her. Before losing his spirit, the Sorting Hat had always used variety in how he told everyone what House they would be in. It was very apparent that Sybill Trelawney had not learned this skill yet. Each time, she said the name of a student, "You'll be in," followed by one of the four Houses. Occasionally she would break the pattern by saying things like, "Isn't this fun?" or "Isn't this so cool?" Students who were seated began falling asleep. Harry fell asleep and Hermione watched as Ron went deep into thought. She found this very odd since he usually takes any chance to sleep while a teacher speaks. Every student had fallen to sleep and Hermione was sure she had never heard this much snoring before.

Ron stood up while Hermione watched suspiciously. He walked up to the staff table, where even the professors had fallen asleep, and pulled out a small, green spray bottle with a fan on it. From across the table, he sprayed it in each of the professors' faces and the fan helped it reach them. Professor Trelawney and her helper had somehow not noticed Ron spraying everyone with the green fan. Once he was finished with the staff table, he walked in front of Trelawney and sprayed her too, making her collapse on the ground. He did the same for her helper and he also collapsed.

"Wake up everybody!" Ron yelled. "The boring storm's over!"

"Did you just drug every teacher?" Hermione asked in disbelief.

"Yup. I've been waiting for an excuse to use the new drugs I got. A new super powerful product from my dealer, imported from the world's drug capital, Highlando, Florida. This gas'll put anyone out with a single spritz. I got the first dibs since I'm his most loyal and frequent customer."

"I don't know whether to be impressed or terrified."

"Stay on my good side, Hermione." As everyone awoke, including the one who was half-asleep as he was being sorted, they noticed Trelawney had stopped talking to instead lay on the floor and watched Ron climb onto a table. "Hello, I'm Ron and I'll be sorting the rest of you. Whoever complains will get drugged," Ron pointed the bottle at the crowd. Despite being clearly threatened, the students cheered.

Hermione stood up and found the paper that the professor had been reading off of. She gave it to Ron and he continued the Sorting. She stood near Ron but remained on the ground. Everyone else remained seated or collapsed, but the students were getting a little more upbeat and energetic. Before anyone else could stand up, the doors to the cafeteria flew open and Professor Dumbledore walked in. He was livid. The students became silent and Ron stopped reading the list. They all turned and stared at Professor Dumbledore.

"I was sitting in my office, doing my work when I was informed of shouting coming from the Sorting Ceremony. Shouting coming from a student, not even a professor." He looked at Ron and Hermione as he spoke. They were the only ones standing and they were in the center of the chaos. "You two. Come with me."

"Good luck…" Harry said quietly, feeling sorry for his friends. Ron and Hermione walked out of the room with their heads hung low.