Bliss
For hours, he tossed and turned, restless and agitated, thinking , thinking about how he was finally with her, that he was able to meet her. She was all he had been able think of, for the last few weeks.
And how could he not, when he was going to meet someone so important in his life, so important to his life, someone whom he hadn't met, ever - in just a few days time. And to have been imagining about this, about all the possibilities in his head, about how things would go once they finally were together, it seemed too fairly tale-like to even be possible.
Now ? He couldn't even imagineā¦
He just kept revisiting all those conversations they had had, all the wishful thinking about getting to meet, to finally be able to look into each others eyes and see, actually see, all those emotions swirling in the mystical orbs that reflect the whole cosmos in them, that are the windows to the soul and be able to tell, how much pain and sorrow they've been hiding from the other, that they couldn't share over text, that probably cant be expressed in mere words, that can only be felt.
He closed his eyes and played over in his mind their last conversation, when they said their goodnights on the landing outside of her room only two hours prior.
He had given her a hug after they had said their goodnights, his arms wrapped tight around her shoulders, and his chin had briefly set itself atop her head, a gesture he had only imagined doing before, that would convey atleast some of the immense amount of the deep love and care he had for her.
And she had clung to him like he was her only tether to life.
Neither of them had wanted to let go. How many nights had they cried themselves to sleep craving for something like this? To be held by someone who actually cared for them, someone who understood how lonely it felt when you are amongst lots of people yet no one is there with you? Someone who could take away their worries of the tomorrow, make them forget their past and give them a few moments of blissful ignorance with things that are better left six feet under. Someone to make them want to live not exist.
It felt like one of those times where they say an eternity must have passed yet it felt like a mere, tiny, teensy bit of a second. He didn't want to let go, he felt like they were hanging above an abyss of nothingness and if he let go, they would be plunged into the void and cease to exist.
Yet they had to let go at some point and she was the one to initiate that. He thought she must have been tired being awake for so long and it had been a rather tiresome day, so she just wanted to catch some sleep probably.
He was being a fool wanting to just stand there and do nothing but hug her for as long as ragnarok didn't come knocking with stupid and abysmal knock knock joke.
It was still over much too quickly and as she pulled away, he brought his hands to her shoulders and squeezed once, reassuringly before dropping his hands to his sides. As he reassured himself that they would still be there with each other the next day, safe and sound, and hopefully a bit hopeful, she looked distracted and nervous, almost as if she wanted to tell him something but didn't know how.
As he was turning away to go downstairs to his assigned room, she caught his eye a serious expression on her face and gave his body a once over, her eyes lingering at his lips and as she finally looked back into his eyes, the corner of her lips curled slightly upwards, giving the hint of a smirk, he felt chills run down his spine.
She then smiled at him and gave him a nod and turned away to get into her room. And he could've sworn he saw a malicious glint in her eyes when she was closing the door. He felt speechless. It felt like he had suddenly gone starkers and he felt completely exposed the way she had looked at him.
And although the thought of her made his insides heat up with undeniable pleasure, this was one more of those times when he didn't know if he wanted to smack his own head on the wall or hers. He was fed up of her giving him so subtle hints and then confusing him by neither accepting nor denying anything if he dared to ask her if the things he felt were mutual.
How dare she look at him that way? And then not do anything about it? Leaving him to assume and hope things that may or may not be true?
If this continued on any longer, he was going to kill her someday soon. She knew how he felt, yet she never gave up a chance to tease him and make him want to pull his intestines out, wrap them around his neck and hang from a ceiling fan.
He wished he could do something about it and finally be over it all. Letting out a frustrated sigh, he finally went to his room.
As he changed into plain gray t-shirt and blue shorts all he could think of was how he has fantasized about having a late night chat with her face to face, while they could actually be able to feel the other on their side, ever since the first time they had a late night chat and she told him her story. So why, when they could do exactly that, was he here in his room alone when she was just a flight of stairs away, maybe awake still, thinking about the exact same thing?
Should he just go to her room and hug her tight and this time, really not let go even if she wanted to?
And tell her how he has missed her the entire time they have known each other, even if that isn't possible because they hadn't met each other before this day ?
And just sit with her, cry the whole night, tell her he didnt want the night to end, listen to her breathe, to know that she was real, that she isn't some piece of his imagination that he conjured up because he had maladaptive daydreaming and fall asleep with his arms wrapped around her , listening to the musical rhythm of her heartbeat.
Just thinking about it was proving torture to him so he picked up his phone from the nightstand and opened her chat and sent her a text. " Are you asleep?"
A few moments later her reply came : "yes"
And he couldn't help the snort that escaped him. Gathering up all the courage he could, he went up to her room, but stopped in front of the door hesitating, second guessing himself, should he just leave and let her sleep? What if she was feeling sad and he could make her feel better?
" I aint the funniest guy shes met but I can be funny sometimes right?" He said looking at the door. "Well what do you know? You're a door. You just like knock knock jokes" He paused, thinking, then said to himself " Save it for inside"
Then he heard a snort from the other side of the door and suddenly the door flung open revealing her standing there looking at him with a smirk playing at her lips and her eyes tainted a bit red ,looking slightly bloodshot.
It was then that he flung himself at her, hugging her tight and whispered is her ear " I'm not leaving."
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Disclaimer : I dont own this fic or its characters, just the idea. And the little joke at the end is a FRIENDS TV Show reference.
This story was inspired by some fic I read a long time ago, I cant remember which; and by my own life with my online friends and wanting to meet them. Tell me if you liked it, tell me if you hated it, just tell me what you think about it, this is my first fic, so support will be appreciated, criticism is welcome.
