A/N: Heads up, this is the second of two parts posted at once. The chapter ended up being so long that I split it into two parts, so that readers could have a stopping point before continuing if they wanted. With that said, I hope you enjoy. This was a very difficult chapter to write, but it's one of my favorites as well. I hope y'all will agree.

We'll Come Alive or Come Undone - Part 2

It was mostly quiet within the school's auditorium, despite it being packed to the brim. Students and parents sat together, while teachers and faculty members stood in a neat line behind the podium, and behind the person speaking through its microphone. She was one of the students too, though the ornate golden sash tied diagonally across her uniform set her apart from her classmates below, as well as the firmness and eloquence of her speech despite her young age. She couldn't have been older than fourteen.

"…an honor to receive this recommendation in spite of my young age, yet there is an even greater honor in having partaken in the kind of education that would lead someone like me to…"

Though her cadence was nothing short of perfect, those who cared to listen would realize that there was no emotion, no earnestness behind her words. She spoke well, but mechanically. It didn't sound as though she believed a single word she was saying.

"…an institution that has stood for many years, producing ever finer crops of students and human beings…"

It was a show of sorts. A final check dressed as ceremony. Shadi didn't believe a single word she was saying, and why would she when they weren't her own words? Though her voice stayed firm and professional, deep down she couldn't think why this was necessary. She despised speaking words that were not her own. And even more so when it was clear not a single person around her cared for said words.

Her eyes moved through the room full of people as she spoke. Most of the students couldn't have cared less, and those in her class especially looked about as disinterested as comatose Slaking, some even going as far as audibly yawning whenever she looked at them. Their parents disguised it better, but they were much the same. Why should they care about a child's accomplishment that was not their own?

Only a single girl her age in the front rows seemed to be paying attention. Or at least trying. Shadi knew well that the script they'd prepared for her was truly horrid, but she appreciated the attempt nonetheless. As her gaze fell on Reina, her only friend, she shot her a quirk smile which the girl returned shyly.

The faculty members behind her weren't nearly as enthusiastic. Maybe one or two of her teachers had been genuine in their pride toward her, but most of them only cared about her accomplishments as far as it would help the institution's image. After all, it had been some time since a student had earned perfect grades on all her subjects three years in a row… or so the official record claimed. In actuality, she'd been allowed to skip P.E. because that was the one subject she couldn't study for. Even so, it was clear Shadi was a prodigy, academically at least.

Too bad that had only ever benefitted people that weren't her. Even despite her grades, she'd been denied the option to skip the last year of middle school and enroll straight into the trainer high school of her choosing. It seemed they wanted to milk her success for as long as they possibly could.

"…will of course forever be thankful… for the incredible institute that has molded me into the student I am today…"

Enrolling here had been a stupid idea, something she still chided her younger self for. She could've easily chosen one of Twinleaf's respected institutions. But no, she'd been too cocky. Nothing less than the biggest and most opulent of stages would do for her stellar performance, and that of course had to be Sinnoh's number one academy for proper young girls, located in the middle of Jubilife's richest district. The jewel of the crown that was the city.

Right. A jewel of sneer and disdain atop a crown of gray concrete. This place was filled with nothing but filth painted a nice bright gold. Two thirds of the students had been sent here because their rich parents had deemed them to be 'troublesome', a term so wide it could mean anything from 'My child is an actual sociopath and we want her as far away from us as possible' to 'We saw our daughter kiss another girl so we decided to throw money at the problem until they beat it out of her'.

Shadi was in the other one third, the group that had come here of their own accord, in hopes that the institution's pedigree would mean a higher degree of education for their age. Unfortunately, that was not the case. The school's curriculum was the same as every other in the region, the only difference was that the building was bigger, the students were all haughty and arrogant, the tuition was higher and the faculty was much, much stricter. They didn't care about their education. All they cared about was padding their students' grades until they were higher than those of every other school in Sinnoh, through any methods necessary.

And of course, that meant the other two thirds saw them as easy picking. Well, all except Shadi, of course. Her classmates had learned quickly that trying to openly belittle her didn't work, as she was much better at stabbing into people's insecurities than they could ever hope to be. And after the first beating, she'd learned to time her leave from the classroom so that she could be in the bus back home before her classmates could find her. That only left gossiping and talking behind her back, which she could not have possibly cared less about.

She felt… well, not pity, more… disgust toward them. But not an active, furious disgust. More like the kind she felt when walking next to a Grimer or a Muk, the kind that made her scrunch up her nose and want to get away as fast as possible. It was a practical, dispassionate disgust. She didn't hate them, of course not. Even if sometimes her face got red and her hands balled into fists and her heart started beating almost out of her chest with irritation… but no, she didn't hate them. She couldn't. Because if she did, that meant that she cared about them, and that couldn't be farther away from the truth.

"…and it is as such, that today I accept this commendation and pledge myself to continue my academic success for the following year as well. And I hope all my wonderful classmates can embark on this journey alongside me. Thank you."

For a couple seconds after the end of her speech, there were sneers and derisive laughs, especially from the girls in her class, but then the rest of the distracted audience seemed to realize it was over, and they started clapping. It was only loud because of how many people were in the auditorium. Other than that, the sound was drab and disinterested.

Shadi lowered the piece of paper toward the small podium, and hung her head, eyes disappearing into the shadow of her hair. Deep breath. She was okay. She wasn't angry or upset; these people didn't deserve that reaction out of her. Just had to… stop applying so much pressure on the paper and let it go. There were creases already from her firm grip. She had to… let go.

It made her retch with disgust, but in that moment of weakness, Shadi's downcast gaze moved toward one the chairs in the front, not too far from where she was standing. It was the chair next to the one assigned to hers, the one where Johanna would have been sitting, as her parent and legal guardian.

It was empty. Shadi swallowed, and took in another deep breath, trying to calm herself.

Then, a second after, she raised her head and gave the audience a wide, dead smile, and followed it with a bow.

The school's literature teacher walked toward her, still clapping, and gave her a quick congratulations, though her smile was as artificial as ever. She dismissed her with a nod, and Shadi walked back toward her spot, standing firmly in between the dean and the headmistress, while her teacher began to speak on the microphone.

"That was wonderfully spoken, Shadi."

Fuck me.

Shadi pursed her lips for a moment, then shone the headmistress next to her a quick, polite smile.

"Thank you."

"Though I can't help but think you could have put a smidgen more… energy and emotion into it," the tall, haughty woman said. "We wouldn't want to misrepresent the institute, now would we?"

Shadi's veins were on fire. The lines of her smile faltered for just an instant.

"I… simply did as I was told, and read the words I was given," she said, some bitterness falling into her voice. "I don't see what more this school could want of me."

The headmistress' face darkened. Shadi cursed herself internally.

"…Mind your words, young lady." A nasty expression rose to the woman's face. "Do not forget your manners, nor the opportunities this institute has given you."

It was hard. Harder than any time before. Stabbing a nail into the joints of her fingers would've been easier than speaking those words with a smile, yet she somehow managed.

"I'm… terribly sorry for my rudeness. I promise it will not happen again."

Shadi wanted nothing more than to get home, go to her room and lie on her bed for the rest of the day while reading a book or listening to some music, but she knew that'd be difficult without running into anyone. She'd have to pass through the dining room, where Sarah and her mother probably were. And if there were two people she absolutely didn't want to interact with right now, it was those two.

As she reached the door and opened it, she thought maybe she could be quick and scurry to her room before they noticed her. But of course, that plan flew out the window the moment she took a single step inside. A young, energetic voice called for her from the living room's couch.

"Shadi, Shadi! You're back!"

She sighed, but then forced herself to smile at the small girl bouncing excitedly toward her. This wasn't Inyssa's fault. There was no need to take it out on her.

"Huuuuuug!" Inyssa yelled, tackling her and trapping her torso with her arms.

"H-hey, Niss. Back from school already?"

"Yep!" she exclaimed, smiling up at her. "They let us go early, super lame! If I knew we were gonna have that few classes I would've skipped and gone to see your ceremony!"

A bitter, conflicted smile formed on Shadi's lips. "It's… alright. That's not your responsibility," she said, putting emphasis on 'your'. "You should always focus on your education first."

"Mmmmh I guess…" Inyssa pouted. "Anyway, how'd it go!? Did they give you a prize or something? Everyone must've been so excited!"

"…Yeah. Something like that," she muttered. "Hey, Niss. Sorry, but I'm feeling a bit… worn out. Is mom…?"

Inyssa, smart as she was, picked up on the question immediately. She let go of her and took a step back, looking over her shoulder toward the entrance to the dining room. Her expression darkened.

"Y-yeah, she wasn't feeling good today."

It was hard to repress her disdainful laughter. Shadi wondered exactly whose fault that was.

"Is Sarah with her?" she asked.

Inyssa gave a quick nod. "They're having tea."

"Right. I'll…" She sighed. "I'll be going to my room for a bit. Need to rest."

Though she tried to hide it, Inyssa's disappointment was clear as day, and it made something bitter rise from her stomach.

"I'll… play with you later, I promise," she said. "We can read some stories together, okay?"

"Y-yeah! You should rest… it's okay," said Inyssa, giving her a big smile. "And congrats too!"

"…Yeah. Thanks."

She gave her sister a quick pat on the head and then hoisted her bag over her shoulder, heading straight for the door at the end of the hallway, where her room was. She quickened her pace as she approached the opening to the dining room. Maybe if she was quick, if she zoomed past it, no one would call for her and she coul–

"O-oh! Shadi, you're… back."

Shadi stopped in her tracks, teeth clenched so tight it was a wonder they didn't creak. She'd walked so fast she was almost past the opening entirely. For a moment, she considered continuing and locking herself in her room, but she knew that would only cause more drama later on.

With a deep, tired sigh, she tried her best to wipe the glum look off her face and turned around, entering into the dining room.

"…Hi."

Sarah and Johanna sat on opposite sofas across the small tea table, the sharp, citric aroma of the tea wafting through the air. They were looking at her. Sarah held her cup with one hand, her expression cautious, as though she sensed danger. Johanna had that glassy look on her face that betrayed her hangover, and she held her temple with one hand, grimacing with pain ever so slightly.

Silence hung thick and heavy for a few seconds, but Shadi didn't falter. If her mother expected her to say the first words, she'd be left waiting for as long as was needed. Sarah seemed to notice this, breaking the silence herself.

"How was the ceremony?" she asked. "Did you have any trouble on the way back?"

"No, it was a quick trip as usual," Shadi replied, just as impassive. "And the ceremony was fine, if wholly unnecessary, at least in my eyes."

Sarah let out a polite chuckle. "Well, I think it's important to recognize your achievements. It's not every day someone as young as you demonstrates such academic prowess."

"Hm. I guess. I could do without all the pomp and fake smiles, though. There wasn't really much to look forward to during the ceremony."

That word. 'Much' was subtly, yet brightly highlighted in that sentence, and despite Johanna's state she didn't fail to pick up on it. Her face darkened and she hung her head.

"I'm… sorry," she muttered. "I couldn't attend."

"Yeah," said Shadi, her voice cold and sharp like a scalpel. "I noticed."

It was rewarding, at least, seeing the result of her words so quickly and clearly. Johanna recoiled strongly. The fingers pressing against her scalp curled inward and her face scrunched up even more, lower lip shaking violently. Shadi couldn't help but smile. For just a moment, the taste of payback was enough to erase that anger and bitterness that'd been stewing inside her chest.

"I-I…"

"Shadi." Sarah stood up from the sofa in an elegant, yet forceful manner, and frowned at her. "Could I have some words with you?"

Shadi chuckled. Oh well, it'd been worth it at least.

"Sure."

She and Sarah walked back to the living room. Inyssa couldn't be seen anywhere; she'd probably gone up to her room. Good, she didn't want her to hear this. Shadi walked toward the big couch in front of the fireplace and leaned against its back, folding her arms.

"If you're gonna scold me, do it quickly," she said. "I'm tired."

The woman's face grew harsher, and for just a moment Shadi regretted her words.

"Shadi… your mother hasn't been feeling well lately."

"You don't say."

A crease formed on the bridge of her nose. "You could stand to be a bit more considerate toward her."

"Considerate?" Shadi repeated and laughed. "Sorry, I can't be what I've never been taught."

"I… understand you're upset and disappointed, but a disease like this…"

"Hm, I didn't know they called 'intentionally drinking poison despite everyone's warnings' a disease now. Maybe I'm not quite as academically gifted as I thought. I could stand to brush up on my medical knowl–"

"Shadi."

Sarah's tone shifted, and the room suddenly felt a few degrees colder. It was hard not to shrink into herself, but Shadi just about managed it, keeping her gaze against the woman's.

"…Look." Sarah closed her eyes tight and breathed out. "I'll… stay with Johanna today, and make sure she's alright. You, in the meantime, should try to cool off. How about you go keep Inyssa company for a while? Play with her or read her some stories."

"Wh-I…"A clear look of displeasure rose to Shadi's face. "Sarah, I'm fucking tired. Today's been… can't she go and hang out with Barry like always?"

"Barry is with Palmer today, I'm afraid," frowned Sarah. "Bring your Child to Work Day."

"Still…"

"Remember what I said about consideration?" Sarah cut her off. "Inyssa must be feeling just as lonely as you. You can keep each other company. Isn't that the responsibility of an older sister?"

Her responsibility? Hers? The fucking nerve to say something like that with her mother all but useless there in the dining room… not to mention that obvious guilt trip. Who the fuck did she think she was? Shadi opened her mouth, and about a hundred sharp and scornful responses wanted to get out all at once, which made it so she said nothing at all, choking on that burst of unsaid resentment.

"I'm…"

Sarah's eyes never left her, and the intensity behind them told her the bitter truth. She wouldn't back down. No matter what Shadi said, the woman's opinion would not change. And she was too exhausted to try, anyway.

Defeated, Shadi hung her head low and let out a long sigh.

"…Fine. I'll go keep her company."

A thick block of resentment tried to rise up her throat, but she forcefully swallowed it down. This wasn't… Inyssa wasn't responsible for this. She didn't deserve to…

"I'll get going, then."

Lower lip shaking with rage, Shadi walked past Sarah and toward the large staircase in the back of the room. Unfortunately, to do so, she needed to pass in front of the dining room again.

Her mother's voice was like needles into her temples, making her wince at every word.

"S-Shadi…!"

She stopped with one hand in the handrail, but didn't turn around. She could hear Johanna getting up from her chair and walking toward the sill separating the two rooms.

"Shadi, I'm… I'm sorry."

Of course, she didn't respond, didn't give her the words or the reaction she wanted. She just stood there on the base of the staircase, letting the knife of silence slowly dig deeper and deeper into her mother.

Sarah was quick to break it again, however.

"Shadi, your mother just apologized." Her next words were silent, but implicit. 'So accept the damn apology.'

Instead, Shadi looked over her shoulder with a completely emotionless face and locked eyes with Johanna.

"Oh, don't worry. I heard it loud and clear."

Then, before she could be scolded, she ran up the set of stairs and disappeared into the second floor.

Throughout the following months, Shadi did as usual, trying her best to stay out of everyone's way.

It wasn't out of consideration for the people around her. She'd just come to learn that the best way for people to leave her alone was to never speak or look at them, to keep her head low and cause as little trouble as possible. It was a win/win for everyone involved, really. From a young age, she'd realized that she didn't enjoy social interactions the same way most people did, and the few times she'd brought the topic up or tried to explain herself, it ended with either mockery or confusion. Or even worse, condescension, like when she'd told Johanna.

'There's no need to worry honey, you're still young. I'm sure you'll someday find people you want to spend your time with. It's not good to be by yourself too much.'

That was the first and last time she'd ever confided in her mother about anything.

Venomous anger rose to her throat every time she remembered those words. They'd been spoken in the same tone as when a parent told their rebelling kid that they were just 'going through a phase'. The idea turned her mind bitter every time she considered it, more so because part of her feared it might be true.

But if this really was just a phase, then it meant what she felt now was wrong, unnatural. It was something she'd have to grow out of. She didn't want to. Every time she forced herself to be more sociable and emotionally open, it ended in disaster, and the few times it didn't weren't that great anyway. Was it really so bad to be like her?

It's not like she was an asocial hermit. She had… what one could call friends, more online than not, but still. People she talked to on a daily basis, if only for short bursts. Interesting discussions, jokes and banter, ideas and advice, they were all there for whenever she wanted to partake in them. They weren't forced on her. She was honestly happy by herself most of the time, and in the rare occasion she wished for another's company, it would be readily available. To her, that was ideal. It's what made her happy.

And yet time and time again, she'd been told that it was wrong. That she was wrong. Almost all her real life friendships and a few of her online ones had gone sour because no matter how honest she was about it, the fact that she only replied to texts or agreed to hang out when she felt like it –which was very occasionally– put too great a strain in her relationships. More often than not, her friends thought she hated them. In their eyes, why would they bother if, nine times out of ten, she declined their company when it was offered?

It was a… sour feeling, she had to admit. The more it happened, the less she was willing to open up, and the less likely it was that she would find someone who was okay with… who she was. With the apparently wrong and twisted way in which she loved.

But it was okay. As long as she had herself, it was nothing but an annoyance. And herself was the one thing she would let no one take away from her. If others saw her as obscene, then she would not let them see her. She would keep to herself.

Of course… sometimes it wasn't as easy as it sounded.

That school day had been going well so far, which for Shadi meant that no one had tried to talk to her. She sat on her chair near the front of the class, leaning against the wall and reading a book she'd brought for the self-study period. It was fifteen minutes until five when the bell rang, and she was only a couple pages from the end of the chapter.

Chatter rang out throughout the room. For most of her classmates, the self-study period was the perfect excuse to laze around and chat amongst themselves. And even Shadi, as studious as she was, preferred to use that half an hour to catch up on some novels. In the desk in front of her, a girl named Reina followed her example, though she'd chosen a romance novel instead of a mystery one like her.

Reina was the only person in her class she liked. She wasn't sure if they could be called friends; in some ways they were more than that, and in some ways less. Reina didn't bother her, and vice versa. They chatted amiably when needed, offered each other help and advice once in a while and kept each other company in various ways when Shadi was willing. Either because Reina was shy or simply understanding of her nature, she never asked for more than Shadi was willing to give. And because the two of them were relatively lonely after she'd had a fight with her previous friend, they were naturally drawn to each other.

It'd gotten to the point where, once or twice, Shadi had actively sought out her company, which was rare. The comfortable silence between them was one she enjoyed.

And, of course, just like with every other miniscule speck of enjoyment she'd found in this shithole of a school, someone had to come and ruin it.

"Dawn? Hey, Dawn, I need a word with you."

Shadi's brow immediately furrowed, as though sensing an incoming headache. And she was so close to finishing the chapter, too. With a sigh, she closed the book and looked at Reina for a moment, who seemed to share in her irritation. Then, she stood up from her desk and turned toward the source of that voice.

A barely disguised smile formed on the other girl's lips… Sol, she was pretty sure her name was. She was much taller and imposing than Shadi. And if she remembered correctly, she was the star player in their school's volleyball team. Normally, she wouldn't have cared to remember such a detail, but Sol happened to be the friend Reina didn't speak with anymore, for some reason.

Shadi looked over the girl's shoulder to the back of the classroom. A group of girls sat together opposite to them, very badly disguising the fact that they were listening in on their conversation. They smiled expectantly, letting out small giggles now and then. Every single one of those girls had tried messing with her at one point or another, and they'd all been given a taste of their own medicine. They were clearly still bitter about that.

I get it, she thought. Sol is the new girl in the group. They sent her to me so I'd chew her out like I did them. An initiation of sorts… how twisted.

"What is it?" she asked, flatly.

Sol folded her arms. "What kinda greeting is that? Smile at least."

"I'm sure it'll be quicker for both of us if you just tell me what you want," she replied curtly. "So?"

"…Hmph." Sol realized she wouldn't get her to budge, so she decided to move on. "That's what I wanted to talk about. We were talking and discussing with the girls and a few of the teachers about you, Dawn…"

"Were you, now? To think I'd be so popular without even trying."

"…and that attitude of yours came up a few times," Sol finished, frowning. "We were thinking if you're really showing the kinda class spirit you ought to."

Shadi raised an eyebrow, a smile quirking up her lips. "Ought to?"

"The headmistress told us on our first year, and the teachers are always repeating it. All the classes should be like family," said Sol, without a hint of irony or self-awareness. "And me and a few of our classmates are thinking you're not meeting us halfway when it comes to that."

Shadi wanted to laugh, she really did, but the sound didn't left her mouth. It was blocked by something sour, solid.

She wasn't meeting them halfway? Yeah, maybe because every time she'd tried, they'd taken a step back so she'd have to overextend even more. What a bunch of fucking hypocrites. They didn't care at all about the class' unity or image, they just wanted to use that excuse to torment her.

"…I'm raising the average grade of this class by two points all by myself, and half a point for the entirety of the school," Shadi replied coldly. "I think I'm doing plenty."

Sol scoffed. "Grades aren't everything. I'm saying you're not doing enough to fit with us. You're not even trying. I heard from Miss Beatrice that you're not even going with us in the next school trip to the Stark Islands."

So this was the angle she planned to attack her from. Alright. Shadi knew she could counter this, at least.

"I explained my decision to the headmistress, and she allowed it. If you have a problem with it, take it up with her."

"That's not the problem!" Sol stomped her foot on the ground. "That attitude is exactly what we were talking about. You never talk to anyone. You never want to come with us in school trips. You always leave when the bell rings and never make friends with anyone."

"Like I said, if you can get the headmistress or one of the teachers to order me to do any of those things, I'd gladly listen. Until then, you're wasting your time." Shadi breathed out. She wasn't used to talking so much. "Besides, the period to pay for the trip is already over. No matter how much you scoff and scream at me, I'm already not going. You're wasting your time."

"Hgh! This isn't just about the trip," Sol hissed. "You haven't been showing up to P.E. for a while now, and last I heard you didn't even present your design for our class jacket for the end of the year."

"I have medical reasons to avoid P.E." That was a lie. The headmistress had explicitly allowed her to skip those classes under medical pretenses so they wouldn't count for her overall grades. But Sol didn't need to know that. "And… I did present my design for the jacket. I knew it wouldn't be picked, but I sent it alongside everyone else's."

In that moment, Sol smiled, and Shadi realized she was just talking and talking until she could find something to attack her with.

"Wait… are you serious!?" A nasty laugh left her lips. "You're telling me that weird design you sent was actually for real!? We thought it was a joke!"

A few more laughs joined hers, echoing through the classroom. By this point they had the attention of the entire class, most of which were happy to join in on the 'fun'.

"Are you for real, Dawn!?"

"That jacket you drew was so creepy, it had black wings and spider webs and everything!"

"I thought an Ariados had gotten all over it!"

"It looked like something a Hex Maniac would wear."

"Seriously, talk about childish. When are you gonna grow up?"

"…my god, it was so cringy…"

Even those who didn't have much of a problem with Shadi had started chuckling or smiling by now. Reina was the only one not to join in. She looked away from the whole thing, frowning but too scared to jump in her defense.

Shadi's lips pursed tight for just a second. This was okay. These people didn't deserve to get a reaction out of her.

"If you didn't like my design, that's okay. We all have different tastes," she shrugged. "But don't go saying I didn't present anything. I did."

Sol, emboldened by everyone in the class backing her up, smiled smugly at that.

"Come on, you can't really be saying you tried with a design like that," she said with a gesture of her hand. "Tell you what, why don't you give it another go? We can all stay here after class while you draw up another design for the jackets, and if you get it right then we'll stop complaining! How's that sound?"

It was, in all honesty, a more clever scheme than Shadi would've thought possible from a stupid jock like Sol. It sounded like just the thing the teachers would approve of. It was the perfect way to trap her in the classroom and leave her to her classmates' mercy, who would surely reject whatever design she came up with just so she'd have to try again and again. Then, when they'd gotten all the enjoyment they could out of her humiliation, they'd blame her for being unable to get it right and ask her to apologize to them in excruciating detail before letting her go.

Shadi could see it all playing before her eyes, and she couldn't help but shiver. Fuck that. She'd much rather throw herself into traffic than spend another second than necessary around these brainless, worthless idiots. But it wasn't like she could convince the teachers if everyone else was against her.

Laughs and whispers and open insults flew through the room, bouncing off her.. Gulping, Shadi looked up at Sol, then over her shoulder at the girls behind her. Then she sighed and slumped her shoulders.

This wouldn't work. It never did. But it's not like she had any other option.

"Sol… listen."

The girl was taken aback by how quiet she'd said that. Since she stood between Shadi and the rest of the class, only she could see the girl's lips move, only she could hear her.

"I know why you're doing this," she said. "You're not on speaking terms with Reina anymore. I get that, and it's not of my business. But it must be lonely. That's probably why you flocked to… them."

Even when trying, she couldn't keep the poison from her voice, and her gaze unconsciously moved back toward the other girls. Sol didn't say anything. She just frowned, shoulders tensing up.

"They convinced you to come bother me." It wasn't a question. "But that's because they already tried it by themselves, and it didn't work. Ever wondered why they always avoid me and just talk behind my back? It's because last time one of them tried to start shit, I sent them back crying and shaking. They're all stupid rich girls. They think they're bullies, but they wouldn't last a day in a real school… trust me, I would know." She formed a bitter smile. She'd experienced her fair share of bullying even before coming here. "Insults are a weapon, and they're all a bunch of Mankeys swinging them like branches. But I know where to stick them where it hurts. So I've got some advice for you…"

She looked up, and her eyes met with Sol's. For a moment, it looked like the girl would recoil, but her anger at what she was hearing must've stopped her.

"Look for someone else to mess with," she snarled. "I'm not even a little bit interested in you and your posse of human-sized Slowpoke. Leave me alone, and I'll do the same to you. Got it?"

It didn't even take a second for her words to go amiss, sparking a much different reaction in Sol than she'd intended. The girl's face darkened, redness rising to her ears. If there'd been any chance of convincing her, it was probably gone now.

It always went like this. This entire school was built on a collective base of venomous politeness. Whenever she refused to partake in it and tried to be honest, it backfired.

"…You're the worst." Sol spat out those words as a whisper, only for Shadi to hear, but then started talking out loud, catching the class' attention once more. "You wanna know why everyone treats you like this, Dawn? I thought you were smart and figured it out, but I guess not."

Shadi sighed and looked away. "Can't wait to hear it."

"It's because you think you're so much better than everyone else." There was a bit of that enjoyment from before in Sol's voice, but it was laced with unmistakable honesty now. "And you're really bad at hiding it. You stink up the whole class with your sour face just by being here."

"I… just want you to leave me alone." Shadi snapped back up at her, eyes opening wide. "I never went out of my way to bother anyone! I just want to graduate and go on my trainer journey, that's all!"

"So what? You think we can't tell what you think just 'cause you don't say it out loud? Think we don't catch those ugly looks you're always giving us? It's creepy! How do you think we feel, always knowing there's someone in our class that hates our guts enough to… I don't even know! You could do anything to us. You look the part of a psycho, so how can we be happy if you're still here, huh?"

Shadi tried to snap back, to spew some of the hateful venom rising up from her stomach to her throat, but she couldn't. She choked on it, feeling dizzy with rage.

Other voices joined in, indistinguishable amongst themselves. Shadi couldn't tell who they belonged to, because she'd never cared to differentiate most of her classmates.

"No kidding. She'd do us a favor if she just left."

"Why is she even here?"

"Yeah, if she hates us so much why not transfer? It's creepy having her here with us!"

"And to think she wants to be a trainer. Mew, can you imagine a Champion like her?"

"I'd die of embarrassment for sure!"

Shadi had to clench her teeth not to spit on Sol's face. The knuckles on her fingers were white as a sheet with how strongly she was grabbing onto her desk. This was stupid. She wasn't angry, she wasn't… these people didn't deserve to…

Somewhere in the back of her mind, she heard the bell ring throughout the hallway outside. This was her chance. If she grabbed her stuff and ran out of the room, they wouldn't e able to call a teacher in time to stop her. She could leave. She could…

"…Yeah, you're right."

Sol looked down at her, arms folded, and raised an amused eyebrow, waiting for her response. So Shadi looked up and gave it to her.

"I do think I'm better than you, but it's not like that's a high bar to clear," she spat out. "You're all a bunch of stupid worthless cunts. If I've got no reason to be in this class, then you've got no reason to exist in this world. The only things you'll leave behind when you die are a bunch of kids just as hateful as you and all the bottles of alcohol you'll poison yourselves with once age catches up to you and you realize how meaningless your existences were."

The room fell into silence. Even the girls in the back, the ones who'd been giggling and heckling all throughout the exchange, stayed quiet after hearing that. But it wasn't because Shadi had hit them where it hurt or anything. It was because they genuinely couldn't believe what they were hearing. She could see the most dangerous kind of anger start to rise up their faces, but she didn't care. She kept talking, digging herself even further down.

"You're all just filth. Even if you paint yourselves gold, you'll still be carrion. And carrion is there to rot and stink up the place until someone is kind enough to throw it in the garbage where it belongs." She took a quick breath, then gave the entire class a look-over before finishing. "I'll say it one last time. I don't care about any of you. I'll just pinch my nose and ignore the stench until I can graduate and leave. And I suggest you all do the same."

The reactions were immediate. And even though Shadi had spoken so coldly and derisively, she couldn't help but flinch as she saw a few of her classmates stand up from their chairs. But no pain came. Insults flew through the room, as well as barely-disguised laughs. Mocking or hateful, all had a reaction. Except for Sol, and for Reina.

The latter had said nothing, still quiet, still looking down at her book as though she wanted to disappear into it. And the former simply stared at Shadi, her expression unreadable.

"…Really?"

Shadi didn't like the way Sol said that. A smile rose to the girl's face, but even so… what could she possibly say? Shadi didn't care. Words wouldn't hurt her. And even if she wanted to get physical, she'd gotten used to that too. There was no way Sol could hurt her.

"You really don't care about anyone here? Huh… and I thought I'd heard this weird rumor… something about you and Reina being pretty close."

It was like a bucket of icy water being dumped on her. Shadi froze, eyes widening with fear. No, this wasn't… there was no way Sol knew. She was just bluffing, she'd just seen them talk a few times and was going to tease her with that. There's no way she knew… the two of them were alone that one time, she was sure of it.

That's when Reina finally reacted. The sound of her book being slammed shut woke Shadi up, and she turned to see the girl pale as a sheet, staring at Sol with a mixture of horror and betrayal.

…Oh.

Of course. When that had… happened, Sol and Reina were still friends. And that was the sort of thing one told their friends if they trusted them enough.

Fuck.

The entire class was paying attention now, hanging to every one of Sol's words. The same idea seemed to have crossed their heads, and while a few of them looked surprised or disgusted, others looked ecstatic.

"I don't remember who I heard it from," Sol lied, avoiding Reina's eyes. "But I heard it happened last month while the rest of us were in the school trip to Hearthome. You and Reina were the only ones who stayed, right? There weren't many teachers around so you had a lot of self-study periods. A little Starly told me you used that free time to kiss behind the student council's building while no one was looking."

At that declaration, there was an 'Ohhhh!" of both joyful and mocking voices. Shrieks of shock and laughter erupted through the classroom, not only at those news but at the horrified look on Shadi's face, a sight they all seemed to enjoy like a rare delicacy. It was absolute chaos. A teacher would come in soon, curious, and if they explained what they were screaming about…

Shadi swallowed. She had no pretenses about who she was, but in a school like this, she knew what parts of herself to keep hidden as to avoid trouble. That day had just… been a moment of weakness, a sudden chance she'd taken with someone she liked, even if it was risky. She didn't regret it, but still… if the faculty found out, she wasn't sure if her stellar grades would be enough to protect her from admonishment. That's the kind of institution this was, after all.

"Well?" asked Sol, chuckling. "Is it true or not?"

Something cold and heavy blocked her throat, forbidding her from responding. Unconsciously, she turned to look at Reina, who if anything looked even more terrified than her. Their eyes met, and for just a moment, Shadi hoped there might be a way out of this without denying their–

"O-of course not!"

For the first time, Reina's voice rang out sharply, shutting everyone up. She stood up suddenly, eyes wide with anger and… guilt.

"I would… n-never do something like that, much less with…" She hesitated, only for a second. "Much less with Shadi! Stop making up rumors no one would believe anyway! That's really… really awful!"

It was a good thing Shadi had turned her face away from the rest of the class. Reina was the only one who saw the way her expression changed, the way her eyes twitched as though beset by some kind of itch. Reina couldn't stand to look for more than an instant. Shame and redness rising to her face, she turned around sharply and grabbed her backpack, hoisting it over her tense shoulder.

Shadi saw the way her lower lip shook and her eyes narrowed in pain.

"I'm… g-going before I hear any more shameful rumors like that!" she screamed, voice shaking. "Goodbye!"

Laughs and sneers followed her to the hallway as she left, but once she was out of sight, they were turned back toward Shadi. The girl stood still as a statue. Head hung low, eyes hidden by her locks of ashen hair. Her whole body shook.

"…There you have it." Sol made that annoying gesture with her hand again, smiling smugly. "Guess I gotta say sorry now, since you were telling the truth. You don't like us, and no one here likes you either! There's no way anyone here would wanna kiss you."

Amidst the sneers and laughs, Shadi's patience snapped. Before it'd been thin yet resistant like a spider-web, but now it had been drowned by the pool of boiling venom rising up her stomach to her throat.

"I'm very, very sorry. Please forgive me for thinking that any of us actually l–"

Shadi let out an unhinged, feral scream and jumped on top of Sol, closing her thin fingers around the girl's face and throat and throwing both of them to the ground.

Almost an hour later, Shadi stood in front of the whole class, redness and bruises peppered all over her face and arms, a single band-aid stuck under her swollen lower lip. Behind her, like a pair of stone gargoyles, stood the school's headmistress and their homeroom teacher, arms folded, waiting. Shadi held her right arm tightly and hung her head low as she spoke.

"…have acted reprehensibly toward my fellow classmates, and for that I could not feel a greater shame. I know my horrid display will be hard to forgive, but…"

Words spilled out of her mouth automatically. There was very little of Shadi there to think about what she was saying, after all. Her face was expressionless and her eyes were a green so dull they could have passed for gray.

Even though the bell had rung almost an hour ago, none of them were allowed to leave until Shadi finished her apology. Not like her outburst had been very effective, anyway. After her first couple punches, she'd been thrown to the ground easily, beaten and kicked and laughed at until the teacher had come running, asking what on earth was happening.

Of course, it was her classmates' word against hers. And even then, it was hard to deny that she'd been the one to throw the first punch. That was all that mattered in schools like these.

After the nurse made sure that she didn't have any broken bones, she was called to the headmistress' office and told in excruciating detail all the ways in which she'd disgraced herself and disappointed the school's expectations. Explaining herself was futile, of course, but Shadi had tried. Yet in the sate she was in, hurting and crying and shaking with fury, she wasn't able to make a very convincing case for herself.

Of course, a lot of the headmistress' fury came from fear. Shadi being the school's pride and joy, the last thing she wanted was to publicly admonish her. It was all over her face. That frustration, that question ringing through her mind. 'Why can't this girl just be still and obedient? Why can't she let us take advantage of her without causing trouble?' In her mind, Shadi needed to look to the world like a perfect student, but after what she'd done she couldn't be let go without some kind of punishment.

"…and it's clear that the rift between my classmates and I needs to be repaired in order for our class to be harmonious and united, like it was always meant to be. As such…"

In the end, the woman came up with a solution that benefited all but the girl who was causing her such trouble. Shadi would walk back to her classmates, and she would offer them a lengthy and heartfelt apology. It was not up for debate, regardless of Shadi's screams and complaints. She should've saved up those anyway. Because when the second clause came in, she was too exhausted to properly react to how horrible it was.

"…the headmistress proposed I spend more time around my classmates, so I could get to know them better, and so that we may become better friends." The words fell from her mouth like lead, heavy and lifeless. "From now on, I will be spending my remaining self-study periods reading and studying in groups alongside all of you. And… to foster even more our relationships…"

In a way, it was hard, yes. The words she was speaking were like hot needles stabbing into her skin, but at this point she was so sore and worn out that barely any emotion rose to her face. She'd run out of tears to shed. Her pride had been beaten, wrung out.

Even that pulsing, venomous anger gripping at her veins like icy claws felt subdued. In order not to literally vomit at what she was saying, in order not to scream or cry or jump forward and maim the first person she could find, she'd been pushing that anger further and further back, until at some point it felt as though it'd been pushed out of her body entirely. Now it hovered behind her, in between the teacher and the headmistress. Only she could feel its presence. It stood behind her like a tall shadow, its fingers running up and down the back of her neck, whispering, begging to be let back in.

At some point, Shadi realized that this was probably a symptom of dissociation. But at the moment, she welcomed it. There's no way she could've finished her apology without it.

"…that's why I hope we'll spend a lot more time together from now on, becoming better friends and classmates, and…"

I hate you, the shadow whispered, looking at her classmates. Hate you hate you hateyouhatehateHATEHATEYOUHATEYOU!

Yet Shadi kept speaking, her voice monotone, her eyes dull and distant. At one point, her eyes did veer from the floor at her feet. She looked up unconsciously, toward the only empty desk besides her. Reina's. She'd been lucky enough to have left before this whole mess.

Shadi stared at that desk for a few seconds, until she remembered what had happened. Those words Reina had spoken. The way she had denied her.

"And… a-and.."

Her voice shook for a moment, but then she felt it. That icy touch. The shadow behind her gripped the back of her neck with its long, razor-like fingers. It was a cold, hateful gesture.

Don't you dare cry! Her own voice boomed disgustingly inside her head. She doesn't deserve it, she's just as bad as them! Hate her, hateherhatehateHATE HER!

And so, Shadi's voice stayed firm and monotone throughout the rest of her apology. In the end, she looked up at the group of angry, sneering girls in front of her and gave them a smile that was barely a quirk of the lips. Like a corpse's lips twitching as its nervous system dies down.

"…In short, I beg for your forgiveness, and I hope we can put this all behind us and become good friends. Thank you, and I'm sorry."

Meanwhile, the shadow behind her shifted and boiled, screaming inside Shadi's mind, wishing with all its heart that every single person in the room besides her would die.

It was just shy of 8 p.m. when the sound of a door unlocking was heard in the Dawn household. A young, ashen-haired girl entered, then closed the door behind her without even bothering to lock it again, a mistake she often chided her younger sister for whenever she forgot.

She let the keys fall to the floor unconsciously, and started walking. Had she been more aware of the world around her, she would've realized the distant voices coming from the kitchen had ceased. As she was, though, she just welcomed the silence. A part of her thanked the fact that Inyssa was usually out playing with Barry at this hour. She didn't think she had the energy to deal with her enthusiasm right now. And her sister didn't deserve to see her like this.

Of course, she wasn't the only other person who lived here. In the sate she was sin, she had genuinely forgotten that, so it came as a surprise when she heard another voice calling for her as she headed for her room.

"S…Shadi?"

She turned around and almost jumped in place. How had she not noticed Sarah and Johanna, standing right there in the entrance to the kitchen? They looked… worried, or something. She was usually good at reading people, but right now their expressions looked to her like slowly moving molasses, nothing but a messy blur. She opened her mouth and tried to say something, but it came out strained and weak, lacking her usual eloquence.

"O-oh… hi. What… er, hi."

From their perspective, Shadi looked like absolute hell. Even disregarding the bruises and red spots on her chin and all over her arms, even looking past the trails of faded black eyeliner running down her cheeks which the girl had uselessly attempted to wipe off … even so, what shocked them the most was how little Shadi there was in her eyes, in her expression.

If there's a word no one would have used to describe Shadi, it was vulnerable. She kept her heart guarded at all times, to the point where her own family couldn't remember the last time they'd seen her cry or show any kind of weakness. So to say her current state left Johanna speechless would've been putting it lightly.

Shadi heard her mother say something, but she didn't quite catch it. To her it sounded like just a whiny noise, even though she was sure there'd been words there. It was hard to make out what people said over the constant whirr-like sharp static stabbing into her ears by the shadow behind her.

"I… what? Sorry, I..."

Johanna covered her mouth with her hands. "H-honey… oh Mew, are you okay?"

Are you okay?

She would've laughed if she had the energy to. What kind of question was that?

"…Johanna got a call from your school a couple hours ago," Sarah finally spoke. Her voice was easier to follow. "And then she told me and I came over. From what I heard, you… got into some trouble with your classmates."

Shadi blinked, confused. Why was Sarah here? Why did Johanna need to call for her like it was her business? The shadow behind her whispered the answer, boiling with fury, but she was too out of it to properly listen.

"…I want to go to my room."

She didn't understand why her words got the reaction they did. Her mother closed her eyes tight like she had a sudden headache and rubbed at her temples, her lip shaking. Sarah, on the other hand, looked horribly uncomfortable for some reason.

"What happened?" Sarah asked with a judgmental tone.

There were about a hundred ways Shadi could've explained it, but she could only say the first thing that came to mind.

"It… wasn't my fault."

Sarah sighed. It hurt, for some reason. Shadi let out a shaky laugh, but she could feel her chest tighten.

"It w-wasn't my fault," she repeated, voice on the verge of breaking. Her eyes began to sting again. "It's true."

Why weren't they saying anything? Why did Sarah look so… tired and disappointed? Not that she needed it or wanted it in any way, but wasn't this the part where they would've hugged her and told her things were going to be okay? That it wasn't her fault, so she didn't have to keep repeating it herself?

"I…" Sarah pursed her lips, then looked at Johanna. "She should probably rub some ointment on those bruises. I have some in my house, though it might be better if we rub it with some alcohol first. Could you go get some?"

Johanna blinked. "W-what? Oh… yes, of course, er…"

She looked between Shadi and Sarah for a moment, and it was almost like she wanted to say something, but then she winced again and grabbed at her temple.

"Y-yeah. I'm sorry honey I'll… I'll be right back."

Shadi was not proud of the sound she made in her throat as she saw her mom turn around and walk away in such a hurry. She stared at her back, blinking gormlessly. Then she turned to stare at Sarah, as though expecting an answer. But all she got was a frown.

"I'm sorry, I can tell you've had a rough day…" She spoke curtly, her tone apologetic. "Johanna told me what she heard from the headmistress. That you jumped on one of your classmates and started attacking her. I... was surprised, to put it mildly. I understand how frustrating kids can be at your age, but that's no excuse to use violence."

"It… wasn't my fault," Shadi said again, shaking her head. She didn't understand.

"Shadi… you're mature enough not to be making excuses like that for your behavior. I understand how you must be feeling, but…" Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose and breathed out. "I'm… not good at this. Look, just wait here, I'll go get some ointment and then you can rest a bit. We can talk about what happened later… it might be best if Inyssa doesn't see you like this."

But…

She could've sworn she spoke that word aloud, but clearly it wasn't the case because Sarah just up and left, closing the door firmly behind her. Shadi stood there, blinking, for what felt like an eternity until another set of steps approached.

"Shadi, is…? Oh, Sarah must've gone looking for it already…"

Again, Johanna was standing under the sill of the kitchen's entrance, holding some cotton and a bottle of ethanol. She was avoiding her eyes, still wincing from a pain Shadi couldn't see.

"Mom…"

The shadow behind her hissed and clutched at the back of her neck, hating that she'd used that word. She never did. There was a reason she always called her mother by her name, one she'd never liked thinking about. But now…

"Mom, I…" She tried to speak, but weirdly enough the words had a tough time coming out. "It wasn't my… I d-didn't…"

Tears started welling up in her eyes, which only caused the voice in her head to cry out harsher, gnashing and screaming and insulting her for being so weak. But Shadi couldn't help it. Maybe this time, it would help. Maybe…

"I d-didn't do anything, I swear…"

It was a plead, probably the last she would ever make toward her mother. And if in that moment Johanna had been brave enough to look her in the eye, if she'd seen that anger and confusion and had asked what happened, Shadi would have told her, as shameful and vulnerable as it would've been. She would've told her everything. Then Johanna would realize her daughter was going through her first heartbreak, as well as a lot more serious stuff, and might've been able to help her.

But instead, she closed her eyes tight and hung her head, just like before. She didn't press her temple again only because her hands were full.

"Honey, I'm… I'm sorry, I just…" She sighed. "Today's really not a good day for this. I had a really bad night again and…"

Shadi stopped hearing her at that point. She just stood there, unblinking, eyes growing slightly wider as the world around her became a lot colder all of a sudden. She parted her lips to say something, but all that came out was a laugh.

Right. I forgot there for a second, she thought. This is what family is.

That's what they'd always been, hadn't it? People she couldn't shake off, whose sole mission was to remind her of how unloved she was.

Shadi laughed again. It really was so incredibly funny.

"…Hey, mom?"

Johanna looked up, furrowing her brow at the eerie smile on Shadi's lips. If that's all family was, she might as well get it out of her system already. Not like the day could get any worse.

"What is it, hon–"

Shadi cut her off, whispering words she'd been keeping inside her for a long time. She spoke them suddenly and sharply, stabbing them into her mother like a knife.

"You should've been the one to die instead of dad."

The bubble of color and sound popped with a shimmer, and the illusion broke apart around the two sisters, returning them to that dark, empty house.

Shadi exhaled sharply, recoiling from Inyssa's touch like it burned her and almost hitting the back of her head against the wall. Inyssa just knelt there, silent, hand still outstretched. For a second, her eyelids and lower lip shook, but she quickly looked down and rubbed her face with the back of her sleeve, taking in a deep breath.

Silence stretched between the sisters avoiding each other's eyes. It only lasted for a few seconds, but it felt as though it went out for minutes. Shadi was the one to finally break it, with a bitter laugh directed at herself.

"…Mew, how mortifying. If you wanted to make me die from embarrassment at my younger self, you almost got it."

Inyssa barely listened. She looked at her outstretched hand, then sighed sadly and set it down at her side.

"There was never any chance, huh."

Shadi looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. It took Inyssa a good few seconds to gather the strength to even elaborate.

"You had it too. That bitterness that feels like boiling venom running through your veins. I always thought… but no, you were just better at hiding it than I was. It's… horrible, isn't it? It's always there, in the back of your mind. And when it takes over it feels like… like…"

"Like you'll never be free of it ever again."

Inyssa looked at her sister, surprised, but she pointedly turned her head, avoiding her gaze. Her lips pursed so tight they went pale.

"I was lucky. Or… luckier than you, at least," Inyssa said. "Mom eventually got her act together. If she'd stayed the same person she was when we were kids…"

A spiteful chuckle left Shadi's lips. "How convenient it must be. To just up and decide you're a better person."

Inyssa smiled, just as bitterly. "But that's how it works, isn't it? No matter how awful you are, you don't need anyone's forgiveness or acknowledgment to take that first step and change. Mom certainly didn't ask for my permission. And even if I resented her for it, she wouldn't have stopped."

"And doesn't that make you angry?" Shadi snarled, for once her emotions laid bare on her face. "Doesn't that make you so incredibly angry that you wish you could gouge her heart out and shove it in her face? Show her just how rotten it is inside?"

"…Yeah," Inyssa admitted. "I grew to tolerate it eventually, but after seeing those memories… it all came rushing back. It really does feel so unfair, doesn't it? I could say it to her face. I could make her get on her knees and beg for my forgiveness, and she'd probably do it. But what's the point?" she shrugged. "I finally have a mom now, but… I don't think I can ever forgive her. And she knows that. But she's not gonna let it stop her."

"F…fucking hypocrite…"

Shadi's shoulders slumped as she said that. She looked tired, empty, like the idea had robbed all energy from her.

"…I decided to move on and accept her, but that doesn't mean you have to," Inyssa told her. "I think it's okay if you decide to hate her for the rest of your life."

"Hah… like that even matters." Laughter left her lips, full of hurt and bitterness. "No matter how much I hate her, she still won. Even after being a piece of shit for so long, she just up and changes one day and suddenly everything's forgiven. She gets to start her new life with you and Fantina. Must be nice."

"…Isn't that your whole thing, though?" asked Inyssa. "You never needed anyone's permission to be happy either. And the same applies if you ever want to take that first step."

The look Shadi shot her was almost funny. She almost expected her to look around to see if she was being pranked.

"Ha… is that what your game is, after all?" she asked, incredulous. "Do you really expect me to repent and become a goody two-shoes all of a sudden? You think I'm just gonna smile and thank you for showing me the light and then we can be loving sisters again? Are you really that stupid that you think things can ever go back to how they were?"

"…Of course not."

Inyssa's hands clenched into fists, and for just a second she let the anger and bitterness inside her show on her face. Like a furious Pokemon baring its fangs. Shadi actually recoiled at the sight.

"…You're a piece of shit," she said, clear and succinctly. "What Sarah and Johanna did to you was awful, but then you went and took it out on me tenfold. You scarred me, physically and mentally. It's mostly because of you that I eventually tried to kill myself."

Actual, clear as glass guilt and pain crossed Shadi's expression. She looked down and scrunched up her face like she couldn't bear to look at her.

"You… always took everything in stride. You were so much better a person it… it pissed me off. It made me want to…"

"It wasn't just me," Inyssa pointed out. "At some point, you decided there was no going back, you convinced yourself that this was who you were. Wrapped yourself up in lies and rationalizations, thinking you were some kind of… angel of the dark." She scoffed at that. "It's time to stop running. It's time you answer for what you've done…"

As she said that, formless figures of light materialized behind her, staring down hatefully at the kneeling woman. As Inyssa spoke their names, the fog around them cleared. Mirages of their true selves came into view like spirits, memories made manifest by Uxie's power.

"To Darkrai, to Cresselia, to Candice, to Ciro… and to Siffa. To Mars." Each name was spoken like a gunshot, just another wedge stabbing into Shadi's form. "You attacked Barry and Percy and Reiko. You're the reason Palmer died. You hurt… so many people. It's not a matter of 'maybe' anymore. I will never, ever forgive you."

The hazy figures closed around Shadi. She cowered against them, but they did not attack, even if the looks on their faces indicated that's what they wanted. Inyssa kept them at bay. She held them like tiny spheres of light in the palm of her hand.

When she spoke again, the anger was gone. It had burned out.

"But… I can't bring myself to hate you either," she admitted. "I held on to these memories, to all the pain you've caused, while you were gone. I held them for you, until you had the strength to accept them. I want you to come back with me, and face them at last."

Shadi held her head low, unable to meet her gaze.

"…That's a hell of a lot to ask of someone like me," said Shadi, smiling sadly. "The more you speak, the more I wish I could just fade into this nothingness and have everyone forget me for good."

"Didn't I tell you? I'm never letting you steal yourself from me again," said Inyssa. "What do you say? If I could become this me, then you can at least go as far as to not be the literal worst version of yourself."

Shadi let out a derisive chuckle. "You had Barry and everyone else supporting you, it's–"

"No," Inyssa cut her off. "It was no one's feat but mine. I needed them sometimes, yes, but that's because of the kinda person I am, starved for affection and all that. A little thing you and mom instilled in me." She gave her sister a lopsided grin. "But you're different. You could do it in your own, if you actually put in the effort. What happened to you being all self-sufficient?"

"…I thought you said that was wrong." Shadi looked at her, frowning. "Wasn't that the whole point of that trip down memory lane?"

Inyssa shook her head. "That was so I could understand you, not deny you."

The glowing shapes around her disappeared into puffs of light. Inyssa took a step forward, falling to her knees, only inches from Shadi. For once, her sister didn't pull back. There was nothing to hide now. All of her was laid bare, shaking and vulnerable, like she'd always hated. But now…

"I won't deny your heart," she said plainly, warmly. "Even if you never needed someone to love you, you wanted at least for someone to understand you, right? To tell you that it wasn't wrong. Tell me… did you ever meet someone like that?"

The look that crossed Shadi's face was raw, like an open wound. Her hand twitched, but she couldn't decide between clutching at her chest or clasping her mouth shut. It was as though something had been stabbed into her heart, and she was terrified of what would come out if she were to speak.

"N… no," she finally said, barely a whisper. "Only my Pokemon… only they ever…"

That thought seemed to finally bring her back to reality. Eyes shooting wide with remembrance, Shadi parted her lips and let a single shaking word fall out.

"M…Midir…" The name sounded like it was full of thorns, forcefully pulled out of her throat. "Oh g-god, Midir…! I'm s…s-so sorry… now e-everyone else too, they're… they're gonna…!"

"It's okay." Inyssa assured her. "That's part of the deal I made with Lucian. I made sure your remaining Pokemon wouldn't be put down, so… it'll be okay."

Shadi stared up sharply at her, wild hope and shock clear all over her face.

"Y…you–?"

"Don't get me wrong, I doubt you'll ever be allowed to hold a Pokeball again," she said. "But you can see them, and talk to them. I can promise you that, at least."

"I…" Shadi's eyelids shook. The woman looked on the verge of crying, though due to gratitude or something else, it was hard to tell. "W-why are you…?"

"I told you a bunch of times, didn't I? If only your Pokemon could do it before, if no one else ever got it right..."

Inyssa smiled. Gently, she raised a hand and held it in front of her face, palm up.

"…Then I will," she said. "I see you, Shadi."

A sudden sphere of golden light materialized on her palm, burning the darkness of the house around them, and even beyond. It was so bright and potent that even the walls and ceiling started to collapse. The whole world around them burned away into little white silvers of luminescent ash, falling like rain. Even so, even though it was so strong, Shadi didn't wince or recoil from it. She stared at the light as though she saw in it something only she could see.

"I see you, and I understand you," Inyssa repeated, full of emotion. "And… I have one last truth I can give you. It's weak. You'll probably think it's useless, but if you let it… it might give you the push you need. To take that first step."

The two sisters knelt before each other amidst an endless void of luminescent white, ashes of their home falling upon them like glittering, miniscule shards of glass. There was a sudden burst of brightness from within that light, and then the two changed.

They were no longer the Shadi and Inyssa from before. They were smaller, younger, lines of suffering freshly carved onto their faces. The child Inyssa held her hand toward her adolescent sister, a tiny smile breaking through the misery she was hemmed in. And the younger Shadi reached toward it. Slowly, shakily. But there was no rush. Inyssa would wait for her patiently, for however long it took.

The sisters' hands finally grazed each other, and through that touch, the light between their fingers echoed. Shadi's skin shivered. It was so warm, so kind. It was Inyssa's final gift, a truth Shadi could not claim for herself, one that only someone who truly understood her could give her.

"I still love you, despite it all." Inyssa's voice flowed into her. "I know you regret what you've become, and that means you're capable of change. So even if just for those first few steps... I'll help you take them. You can lean on me, and I'll light the way for you.

"Let's go back together, okay?"