Harry sat in the second bedroom of his late cousin reflecting on his past summer. He spent the last two months barricaded in his house with his parents, hiding from his Aunt and Uncle. As soon as they found out Harry was going to Hogwarts, they tried to kill Harry's parents. Now it's the end of summer and Harry is locked in his Aunt and Uncle's house with two other kidnapped kids who can't be more than eight years old.
The door unlocked and opened. Mrs. Dursley shoved another child in the room. "If Dudley can't be a wizard, no one can!"
"Let us out at once, Aunt Petunia!" Harry demanded. "It's been three days!"
"No!" she growled.
One of the other children stood up. "I'm not even a wizard!"
"Me either!" another child chirped.
"Dudley was perfect, and it's your fault he's dead!" Mrs. Dursley shouted before slamming the door and locking it.
Harry was hunkered down in his house eating dinner with his parents when his Uncle, Vernon Dursley, broke a window and grabbed him. Harry was brought to their house and locked in Dudley's pale blue second bedroom. Now, Harry sits wondering if he'll ever leave this room. Hedwig had visited the day before and brought Rock to Harry. Then the white owl flew away. Harry hoped Hedwig would be safe. He couldn't return to Harry since he didn't have food to give him. He hoped Hedwig would fly home and be taken care of by Harry's parents. The walls seemed so strong and thick. The one small window had bars on it so that no one could escape. Through the bars, the windows allowed the trees outside to laugh at everyone trapped inside.
Hours passed as Harry stared outside at the peaceful breezy afternoon. The tree branches and leaves swayed in the wind and birds chirped and sang, not noticing the crime happening beneath them. A squirrel had hopped nearby, stopping and looking at Harry for a moment before scurrying off. Harry was beginning to lose all hope when he saw a big rv drive into the driveway. Harry watched as Fred, George, and Ron came out of the vehicle. Perched on Ron's shoulder was a white owl. "It's Hedwig!" Harry exclaimed. "He must have found the Weasleys on a mission to get help." To Harry's surprise, he saw Hermione get out of the rv as well.
Ron ran to the window and pulled the bars off. He opened the window and beckoned for everyone to follow him. "C'mon, let's go!"
Harry took a moment to think about it. "Why are there so many gingers? And why is Mud here?"
"I'll explain when everyone is in the rv. We need to hurry and get out of here!"
Harry escaped through the window with Rock and ran to the rv along with the other kidnapped children. As soon as Harry got in the rv, he was horrified of what he saw. "AH! There are even more gingers!"
"We usually don't bite," George assured.
Ron went around the room introducing everyone. "This is my mum, Molly Weasley. This is my Dad, Arthur Weasley. This is my oldest brother, Bill Weasley. This is my older brother Charlie Weasley. This is my older brother Percy Weasley. This is my older brother Fred Weasley. This is my older brother George Weasley. This is my younger sister, Ginny Weasley. And Mud!" Ron concluded, pointing to Hermione.
"Would it kill you to tell him my name?" Hermione hissed.
"So this isn't your extended family?" Harry asked in disbelief.
"Nope. Immediate," Ron answered.
Harry's jaw dropped as he finally accepted this wasn't a joke. "Why is Mud here?"
"In the first week of vacation, the Weasley's sent me a letter inviting me for the summer," Hermione answered thankfully.
"We love having you with us, Hermione," Mrs. Weasley said with a gentle smile.
"Thank you, Mrs. Weasley. Wait, you said my name. Harry! You know my name!"
"Huh? I wasn't listening," Harry admitted. Hermione groaned.
They began to hear the Dursleys shouting from inside the house. "PETUNIA! THEY ESCAPED!"
"WHAT?! OH MY HORSE FACE! HOW'D THEY GET OUT?!" Mrs. Dursley yelled. "VERNON! FIND THEM!"
"FOR DUDLEY!" Mr. Dursley announced before exiting the house with a jar of peanut butter. "HERE WIZARDS! HERE WIZARDS! COME GET THE YUMMY BUTTER MADE FROM PEANUTS!" Mrs. Dursley was braying madly while sticking her head out of the window they had used to escape.
Mr. Weasley looked away from the house and pressed the button to lock the doors of the rv. "Next stop on our family road trip is Hogwarts!"
As Mr. Weasley pulled out of the driveway, one of the other kidnapped children stood up. "Um, we don't go to Hogwarts."
"Oh, then our next stops will be to your houses. Then Hogwarts!" Mr. Weasley corrected.
Soon they arrived at Hogwarts and the Weasley's said goodbye to four of their children, Harry, and Hermione. They walked to the door of the rv as Ginny asked her parents something. "When will I go to Hogwarts to learn magic?"
Percy, Fred, George, Ron, Harry, and Hermione stopped in their tracks and looked at Ginny. Fear filled her parents' eyes as Mrs. Weasley answered her daughter's question. "You're not a wizard. You won't be going to Hogwarts."
"Yes I am," she announced. Mr. and Mrs. Weasley closed their eyes and lowered their heads in disappointment. The news affected Hermione too. She had met Ginny the Christmas before and hoped she wouldn't start believing in magic like her six brothers. Mrs. Weasley hoped Ginny would break the mold and so did Hermione. Everyone else cheered at the news. They were proud of her for believing in this nonsense just like them. "A half-giant told me I'm a wizard," she added.
Hermione immediately lifted her head in anger. "Hagrid, you've done it again," she grumbled.
"I guess we'll be sending five of our children to Hogwarts this year," Mrs. Weasley sighed.
Ginny happily walked to towards the group of people headed to the rv's door. "I finally get to go to Hogwarts!" she exclaimed.
The redheads led the way out of the rv. They walked to the front door of Hogwarts and were stopped by a very short and somehow purple person.
"Dobby… Dobby only needs to stop one of you actually," the elf stammered as he stepped aside.
Hermione made her way to the front of the group. "Good, because there's a certain half-giant I need to speak with." Hermione walked inside and the short elf allowed Percy, George, and Fred into the building. As Harry attempted to enter the building, the elf moved in front of him.
"Step aside, citizen! I am Harry the Great, Protector of Hogwarts!"
"Yes, Dobby knows. That is why Dobby cannot let you enter," the elf said.
Ron and Ginny stood behind Harry. "He went to Hogwarts last year. Why can't he enter now?" Ron asked.
"Things have changed since last year. You'll all get hurt!" the elf shouted before Ron picked him up and let Harry and Ginny through the doors. Ron entered the building and placed the elf outside, shutting the door in between them.
"What did he mean when he said we'll all get hurt?" Ginny asked.
Ron looked at her kindly. "Ginny, in life I've learned to not worry about things. Here. Have these drugs and run along to the Sorting Ceremony." He handed her a small bag.
Ginny took it and looked at the contents. "Uh, thanks?" She put the bag in her pocket and walked down the hall.
Harry and Ron waited for Hermione and then started walking towards the cafeteria as well. "Do you reckon Mud will be back in time for the ceremony?" Harry asked.
Ron looked down the hall and still didn't see Hermione. "I dunno. Depends if she finds Hagrid."
They kept walking and were almost at the cafeteria when Hermione came back. She came from the opposite direction of them and passed the cafeteria on her way to Harry and Ron.
"Did you find who you were looking for?" Ron asked.
"No. But I will. He can't hide forever," she said with a malicious grin.
Professor McGonagall walked by and noticed they weren't wearing their Hogwarts uniforms. "You're wearing lame clothes!"
"We'll change after the Sorting Ceremony," Ron said.
"Since when is that allowed? If my dress code was passed, everyone would love to wear their uniforms all the time. But Dumbledore was all, 'Boxing uniforms would promote violence.' I was like, 'THAT'S THE POINT, BEARDY!' He said they weren't practical! And Hagrid agreed! You'd think a half-giant would support the physical arts."
"Uh, sorry, citizen?" Harry replied as he and Ron back away. They walked into the cafeteria and sat with Gryffindor. After a while, everyone arrived and the gloomy Sorting Hat glared at Harry as he entered the room.
"I'm Hat the Sorting Hat," he sighed. "Call me the Sorting Hat. I'll be sorting you throughout the four Houses." He walked around tapping people on the head and telling them their House. In between people he muttered Potter over and over. He got to Ginny, and as predicted, she was sorted to Gryffindor. She walked to her family and sat down. The Sorting Hat sorted the last person and then promptly left the room. They waited for a long time and Dumbledore came in to speak. As usual, he looked like he had just fallen down the stairs.
"Hello, new students!" Before he could continue, Snape began to stand from his seat. "Sir, if I may."
Dumbledore stepped away from the podium. "By all means, Severus."
Snape moved to the podium with his pet bat on his shoulder. "I would like to inform the staff that there is a puke green Ford Pinto that is honking repeatedly, flashing lights, and the airbags are deployed. The travesty of a vehicle has a smashed fender and a terrible paint job. And one other thing, what was it… Ah, yes. IT IS PARKED ON TOP OF MY CAR! There are ramps on the back of my car that the driver used to park his abomination on the roof of my personal vehicle! WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!"
"Now, Severus," Dumbledore started, "I'm sure there is a perfectly logical..." Dumbledore paused to give a strange unnatural, muffled cough. "...reason for someone to park on top of your car."
"I cannot fathom even one."
Both large doors of the cafeteria swung open as a man wearing a bedsheet cape and a Burger Queen crown strolled in, waving to the students at their tables. Upon seeing this display, Hagrid choked on a chicken leg. The man strutted up the main aisle, moving his arms around like an idiot. "Do not be afraid, children! For it is I, Gilderoy Lockhart!"
"Not ter interrupt yer whole, introduction thing, bu' do yeh mind tellin' us why yer late?"
"Oh, I'm fashionably late, not just late. Completely different. Regardless, I'm so polite. Perhaps polite to a fault. Désolé, désolé, I'm terribly sorry to intervene in your lovely speech, but I had forgotten my crown in my glorious palace of a vehicle." The taped-on faux feathers, fur, and the trailing boas fluttered behind him. "It is just so difficile to retrieve something from your car whilst it is parked on top of an inferior hunk of junk."
Snape's eyes filled with malice as he rose his arm and pointed at Lockhart. "You."
"Severus, why don't we allow Gilderoy to explain why he did it," Dumbledore suggested calmly.
"Yes!" Snape nodded. "Why did you park your car on top of mine?!"
Lockhart gasped and touched his heart. "Well, where else was I supposed to park it?! On the ground like an animal?!"
The bat on Snape's shoulder became enraged and began to flap his wings threateningly. "Now, now," Snape said to his pet. "Darth Wing, we're better than that."
"Yeh can't park yer car on top of somebody else's car," Hagrid said.
"But of course I can! I've been doing it for years. You should be glad!" Lockhart exclaimed. "I covered your pitiful Dodge Viper. Such a sad dark color. Did you choose black so you wouldn't have to clean it?"
"You're one to talk," Snape challenged. "Your car is so dirty that someone wrote WASH ME on the back windshield."
"Oh, you poor unenlightened person, it says WATCH ME."
There was a short moment of eye rolls and head-shaking before Snape moved on from the extreme rudeness of the matter. "My insurance will never cover this!"
Lockhart chuckled. "Oh, I know. I lost my insurance years ago. Pesky little details. Morning commutes can be interesting when you're a grasstarian." Students looked to one another in confusion. "Ah come on, now, it's a simple word, surely you know it. No? Well, as the teacher of Hogwarts, I'll teach you." The professors all began speaking over one another as they expressed their displeasure at his insinuation. "A grasstarian only parks and drives on grass or anything that isn't pavement. My magnificent tires have not ever, ever, even once touched pavement. I drive on grass and other cars only. And ramps."
Professor Sprout finally managed to be heard. "You're not the only one around here who teaches! Besides, this is your first day!"
Lockhart may have heard her, but he didn't act like it. "I'm quite optimistic that your insurance will help you out since is your first accident, right Severus? This is your first accident, isn't it?"
"Accident?! You drove onto my car! This is no accident!"
"Tha's car homicide if I've e'er heard it," Hagrid offered.
"I didn't tell you where to park, Severus. Wrong place, wrong time. Can anyone truly be put to blame?"
"Yes! You can! You parked on my car! This is such a strange situation that no insurance company would cover it!"
A man wearing a sharp suit fell into the cafeteria. "We'll cover it! We know a thing or two because we've seen a thing or two! BUM-BA-DUM-BUM-BUM-BUM-BUM ."
"Let's find a way to compromise," Dumbledore instructed, ignoring the unknown visitor. "We can't have vehicles parked on top of other vehicles. Especially when the other vehicle is a treasured Cadillac."
"I can't park it—"
"Yeah, we know. Yeh can' park it on the ground."
"I have an idea," Dumbledore announced. "We could make an elevated platform for your car."
Lockhart tilted his head from side to side, mulling over the proposition. "I shall agree to use the aforementioned platform so long as it is made of gold."
"Gold?!" Hagrid roared. "Do we look like we're made of money?!"
"Of course," Dumbledore replied. "I'm sure we can find room in the budget. Gold it is." It was quite obvious that the plan was to paint the platform yellow. Dumbledore's smirks and winks gave it away, yet Lockhart failed to decipher the meaning being anything other than, Dang, let's get this dude some gold.
Content with the arrangement, Lockhart glided to his seat at the staff table and sat down with the rest of the professors, all of whom he had very much ruffled feathers. They huffed at his presence as Dumbledore continued his speech.
"Our students last year… were troubled at best and I sincerely hope this year will be better."
Most of the second year students took offense. "We weren't that bad!" Hermione whispered.
"We're the best class!" Ron whispered, inhaling some drugs.
"Yeah! I demand they take me out of this unfair grouping!" Harry whispered as he made a sitting superhero pose.
"Okay, I see it now," Hermione whispered as she turned back to Dumbledore.
They listened to him talk and then they went to Gryffindor Tower. Harry and Ron stopped at the painting and asked for a password. Hermione disguised her voice and made them say a magic word. "I have to do this every time they want to get into the common room," Hermione whispered to Ginny, who was standing near her.
"I don't understand," Ginny started. "Why can't we just walk in? The door is already open."
Hermione smiled and pulled her friend close. "You're my favorite Weasley." Ginny followed Hermione to the girls' dormitories and found out she and Ginny would be in the same room. "How can this be? I had four roommates last year. Someone left and made room available?"
They started unpacking and Hermione asked Ginny a question. "So a half-giant taught you about wizardry?"
Ginny took some clothes out of her trunk. "Well… not exactly. He showed up one day and told me I'm a wizard, just like my brothers. Then I was too excited to stay and listen to any details. I came home to tell everyone, but they were all really busy. It wasn't really big news since all of my siblings are wizards."
They continued to unpack and Hermione looked at the school schedule. "Oh… Classes will start tomorrow. That's pretty quick, isn't it?"
"Well, today is Sunday," Ginny replied. "I guess they really want full weeks of school."
Later on, they met with Ron in the common room. He was sitting in his usual chair and Fred and George were sitting on a couch close by.
"What are you two doing here?" Hermione asked.
"It's the Gryffindor common room, not the Hermione common room," Ron teased.
"We've come to see Ginny and ask how she's doing," Fred answered.
Ginny smiled before answering. "I'm great! Hogwarts is amazing! Hermione has been super nice and Ron has been his usual self." She reached into her pocket and took out the bag of drugs Ron had given her. George grabbed the bag from her and they all turned to look at Ron.
"You gave her drugs?!" Hermione scowled.
"Ron! How could you do this?!" Fred yelled.
"She has to pick a side. Your lame drug-free lifestyle or my drug full lifestyle. Your Weasley's No Wheezes, or my Drug Revolution. What do you choose, Ginny?"
She glanced at everyone staring at her. "I—"
Hermione interrupted her. "She can't make that decision! She's barely 11 years old! Drugs are horrible and she will not join your death cult!" Hermione and Ginny returned to the girls' dormitories while Fred and George went back to the boys' dormitories. Ron remained in the common room alone.