Chapter One: The Raspberry Heard Round the World
Harry Potter, the boy who lived, had just arrived with the Weasleys to platform 9 and ¾, and Harry and his pals were just about ready to start their next adventure as wizards. Goofing off on the train, as per the usual routine, the three sat laughing as the trolley bearing dozens of delicious snacks passed through their car on the Hogwarts Express.
"I wonder what happens when you say something that isn't a wizard spell, but you do a little...y'know," Ron said, swishing his pointer finger in the air.
"You'd best not try Ron, you'll get us all killed!"
"Oh Hermione, I'm sure it would be fine. I mean, what could possibly go wrong? If it isn't a spell, nothing will happen, right?"
"But Harry—" Hermione protested, but as always, to no avail.
"Ease up Hermione, what if I just..."
"Nah, Ron, Allow me." Harry then took a great deep breath, and while swishing and flicking his wand in the air, blew the biggest raspberry his mouth could muster.
And Just like that, the Golden Trio were transported to the platform at Hogsmeade station... and suddenly, Ron's face got rounder. Paler. Hermione's too. Harry looked in a window of a nearby locomotive and suddenly saw his own face losing color, turning grey, getting rounder.
"Harry, what's happening?" Ron said, and just like that, he started to float over the tracks. "Harry! Harry do something!" He continued, but it was too late. Ronald Weasley had begun to sprout wheels all along his body, and his orange hair became the coloring of..what appeared to be paint down his long, now rounded, metal body.
Harry turned to look at Hermione, and the exact same thing was happening to her, only her metal, cylindrical body was turning a honey-brown color.
"Harry!" She shouted, floating above the tracks. Ron had landed, wheels on the tracks, and was now a full-blown tank engine. Hermione slowly became the same, as Harry began to float. Together, within minutes, the trio were transformed into trains, resting on the tracks right ahead of where the Hogwarts Express would usually pull in.
"What I was GOING to say," Hermione began, "was, 'But Harry, what if someone had already made a spell out of whatever you're about to say, and we just never learned it yet.' We ARE only year three after all."
Ron began to mimic her in a whiny voice, to which she rolled her tank-engine eyes, and blew a puff of smoke from her shiny new chimney.
"Harry, what are we going to do now?"
"Hmmm," He said, and Harry thought to himself for a moment. Soon Hagrid will be here to collect the first years. If we wait here long enough, maybe he will notice us!"
He then looked over at Hermione on the track to his left, and repeated the thought, this time aloud.
"We're not even at Hogwarts yet and you're already going to take away all of Gryffindor's house points... We're all going to get detention!"
"Hermione, stop worrying, Harry'll get us out of it, he always does! Right Harry?"
Harry appreciated Ron's vote of confidence, but this time?
This time, he wasn't so sure.