Ava had not seen or spoken to Sara since their date on Saturday. In retrospect, she should have realized that Sara's need for emotional control would transfer over into her intimate encounters. But at the time, Ava had not been thinking at all.
After the incident on Sara's couch, a myriad of questions had swirled through her mind over the weekend. The big unanswered question was what or rather who had hurt Sara so deeply. None of the answers she came up with were pleasant ones. Panic had been clearly evident on Sara's face when she bolted from the couch. Sara's need to be in control obviously came from a trauma much deeper than a breakup.
Now, on their first day back at work, Sara was nowhere to be found. She was frequently absent from the department for meetings, but as far as Ava knew she had nothing scheduled for this morning. The longer Sara was absent from the ER, the more Ava's anxiety escalated. Did she change shifts so she doesn't have to work with me? She bit her lip when an even worse possibility occurred to her. Has she changed her mind about us?
As if her worries weren't enough on her plate, Penny chose that day to ask Ava out. Apparently she had two tickets for a concert that her friend didn't want to attend. Ava obviously declined the offer as coldly, though respectfully, as she could. Penny insisted on taking her on a date some other time, leaving Ava no other choice but to put everything on the table. She chose her words carefully.
"I respect the job you do here in the ER. I think we work well together. But I'm not interested in anything else. I'd prefer to keep our interactions on a professional level."
Tears filled Penny's eyes and she bolted away.
After a long morning, Ava hesitated and settled for knocking before opening the door to Sara's office. While walking into the room, Ava saw stress written all over Sara's face. Instead of giving in to your own insecurities you should have been more worried about Sara and given her the benefit of the doubt. Everything is not about you. Anxieties forgotten, Ava moved over to stand next to Sara's chair. "Are you okay?"
Sara rubbed her temples. "Long morning. And I've got a killer headache."
"I missed you this morning." It was as close as Ava could come to admitting her earlier anxiety.
Sara looked up. She offered a tired smile. "Believe me, I would have much rather been here with you instead of the GME meeting I was stuck in."
Surprise rippled through Ava. The Graduate Medical Education Committee met quarterly. The next meeting wasn't supposed to be until next month. If the committee was meeting outside its normal schedule, something serious must have occurred concerning one of the residents.
"It wasn't an ER resident, was it?" Ava asked.
"No. Thank God." Sara rubbed her neck.
Ava moved behind Sara's chair. Wanting to help, but taking into account Sara's need for both emotional and physical control, Ava held her hands just above Sara's shoulders. "This okay?"
"Yes. Please." Sara whimpered as Ava began to knead her shoulders.
The muscles under Ava's hands were rock hard. She increased the pressure of her massage.
"Oh. Yes." Sara's head dropped forward and she moaned, long and low.
The sound shot through Ava's body.
The ringing of the phone on Sara's desk made them both jump.
Ava let her hands drop and stepped away from Sara's chair. She propped her hip against the edge of Sara's desk.
"Thank you." Sara said before picking up the phone. Her voice was soft and warm.
In the fleeting seconds between picking up the phone and answering it, all trace of the previous warmth in Sara's voice was gone. The ER chief was back.
Sara's jaw tensed almost immediately. Whatever was being said was not good news.
Once Sara ended the call, she told Ava that it was about Penny. She had left the nurse station unattended, she had gone home without even telling a doctor about it. Ava felt guilty, the last thing she wanted was to add to Sara's stress or burdens at work, so she told her what had happened.
Sara's eyes had turned silvery and sparked with emotion. "You, of all people, know that you aren't responsible for another person's behavior. This is Penny's doing, not yours."
"But if I had handled her better-"
"No" Sara's hand slashed sideways in negation. "Don't worry about it. I'll talk to her tomorrow." Sara stood up and walked next to Ava. "Seriously, Penny's not the first staff member to run out of the ER because they had their feelings hurt. I appreciate you telling me so I wasn't worried all day that she was really sick."
Stuffing her hands into her lab coat pockets, Sara stood. A shy smile graced her face. "I um-" She shuffled her feet. "I missed you on Sunday."
With those simple words, the tension and anxiety that had plagued Ava all morning vanished as if they had never existed at all.
Two days later, the office door flew open. Ava, dressed in blue scrubs and paper slippers, marched into the office. Sparing Sara a single glance, she headed straight for the couch. She dropped face-first onto the couch. She muttered something into the cushion.
Sara walked over to the couch. Ava had been in the direct line of fire when the activated charcoal a patient had been given made an explosive exit, along with the rest of his stomach's contents.
"Ava?"
"She's not here. She quit."
"You don't mean that." Sara nudged Ava's hip. "Scoot over."
Grumbling under her breath, Ava rolled onto her side and made room for Sara. "I hate Bates." She said while Sara joined her on the couch. She took a chance and gently stroked Ava's arm.
"I'm sure he didn't do it on purpose. ER doctors just have a finely developed anti-puke reflex."
Ava growled. "You weren't there. I hadn't even greeted the patient yet. I had just walked up to the gurney. Bates didn't say a word. He just smirked as he stepped behind me. Then… bam." Ava smacked her hand against the couch. "He could have warned me. He knew what was coming." her eyes narrowed. "I just know that little snake did."
Sara looked down into blue eyes that seemed to glow from within. Whoa. I've never seen her so pissed.
Hoping to soothe her ruffled feathers, Sara stroked Ava's silky curls. "I'm sorry."
Ava leaned into the touch and sighed. "It's not your fault. But I still hate Bates."
"I could assign him a bunch of really nasty, smelly patients if you want."
A smile ghosted across Ava's face, gone as quickly as it had appeared.
That's better.
Ava huffed. "Don't tempt me." She dropped her arm over her eyes with an exaggerated sigh. "Is it Friday yet?"
"I wish." Sara said. "Only one more day to go."
Sara smiled. "I know just what you need."
"More wine?" Sara held up the bottle of Merlot.
"Maybe just a little." Ava said. This was the first time Ava had been at Sara's since the incident on her couch the previous Saturday. She had worried that things would be awkward, but that had not been the case. After sharing a quiet dinner, they had crashed on the couch to relax while the spa heated.
Sara poured while trying to stifle a yawn.
"Are you sure you still feel like getting in the spa?"
When Sara had mentioned it at work, Ava had envisioned a jacuzzi bathtub. She had been amazed earlier when Sara took her outside onto the back dech for the first time. There, tucked in a corner and surrounded by slatted privacy fencing, was a large hot tub.
Sara glanced at the clock on the mantle. "Absolutely."
The ringing of the phone pierced the air. Sara looked at the screen and then tossed the phone back onto the table. Several reporters had begun calling Sara when her membership on the GME committee became known. Apparently one of the surgeon residents got into a fight in a bar and the information in the media escalated quickly.
Ava set down her wine and moved closer to Sara. She started a gentle massage of her neck. Sara whimpered, and Ava increased the pressure.
Blowing out a breath, Sara pulled away. "I'm supposed to be giving you a back rub." She grimaced. "Sorry. I'm not doing a very good job of taking care of oyu."
You always find a reason not to let me comfort you for long. Who made you think you don't deserve to be comforted? "You're doing just fine." Ava placed a soft kiss on Sara's lips. "Now, how about that soak you promised?
"Sara smiled. "You got it." She jumped off the couch and offered Ava her hand.
She allowed Sara to pull her off the couch.
Anticipation and nervousness rippled through Ava. The thought of Sara in a bathing suit made her head swim and other parts of her body leap to life. The nervousness sprang from the expectation of just how this evening might end. As much as she wanted to be Sara's lover, she didn't want to make another mistake and ruin their first time together. Just remember to let he make the first move.
Shit. Something else occurred to her. "Oh. Wait, Sara. I wasn't thinking. I don't have a suit."
A familiar little half smirk made an appearance on Sara's face.
Ava would have given her next month's pay to know exactly what Sara was thinking.
"Not a problem." Sara grinned. A sparkle lit her eyes.
God. Is she going to suggest we go naked? Ava wasn't sure her heart could take it. And she sure as hell wouldn't be able to keep her hands to herself.
Sara started to speak, then seemed to change her mind about what she had been about to say.
Ava din't know whether she should be relieved or disappointed.
"I have a spare suit." Sara ran her gaze down, then slowly back up Ava's body.
Ava felt the look all the way to her core.
"It should fit you." Sara turned toward the hall. "Come with me."
I can only hope.