Hello there everyone! I'm here with the next chapter for you all. From the feedback I got, it seems like you guys enjoyed the last one, and I'm so glad! I hope you all like this one, as well.
Thanks for reading!
NINETY TWO
Dawson laid quietly on the bunk in her boyfriend's office, the silence in the air welcome as she tried to get a few last moments to relax while the house was relatively empty. It was close to shift change, maybe a couple minutes past it as Gabby hadn't checked the time in a while, but she wasn't too concerned about it as she knew she wouldn't be going anywhere until 81 returned from their last call.
The day had started early for everyone in the firehouse, despite being pulled off in different directions, as they'd all been called out to various places around the city. While ambo was needed as assistance at an accident, 81 and squad 3 had been tasked with helping at an apartment fire, the varying calls keeping Gabby and Matt apart for mostly the entire morning. But after spending the entire night curled up together in this same bunk, it hadn't been too bad, even though after their long day yesterday Gabby preferred to be close to him when she could.
It wasn't really rough on them physically, but mentally it had been a lot, as ever since that car accident yesterday they couldn't stop thinking about Lydia, and what all she was going through. And for Matt, Gabby had come to find out, he wasn't able to stop thinking about her either, as that call had brought up a lot of feelings for the both of them. Feelings that weren't necessarily the easiest for them to navigate through, as what happened to Gabby was still fresh in their minds.
After searching her out in the garage yesterday, they'd talked through all of this a little bit more, more than they had in his office as it was just the two of them, and it was then Gabby was really able to understand what was going on in his head. How this was affecting him more than just wanting to help someone, as he'd seen this sort of thing happen to people he loved far too many times. And it was something she understood completely, as it wasn't the easiest thing in the world for Gabby to separate herself and what she went through from what was happening to Lydia, the two leaning on each other for support many times throughout the day yesterday, whenever they could, as that call had taken a lot out of them.
But they'd gotten through it, and from the brief conversation they had this morning before Gabby went on her call, they were both feeling better about the whole thing; at least from a personal standpoint. But where Lydia was concerned, that was another thing altogether, as Gabby's heart couldn't help but ache for this woman. Especially when it seemed like she had no one there to help her.
And right now, it didn't look like she could help herself, either.
Gabby was pulled from her thoughts when she felt the bed dip beside her, her body instinctively flinching when she felt a hand come to rest on her arm, before she relaxed almost immediately, her mind catching up as she knew there was only one person who would be here right now.
"Hey…" Matt murmured, his hand beginning to rub along her arm as his waist was pressed up against the backs of her thighs, Gabby smiling softly as she leaned into his warmth, her eyes staying closed for a few more seconds. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."
"You didn't, I'm alright… I just wasn't expecting you." She answered, feeling him lean down to press a soft kiss over her arm, his hand sliding around her body to rest on her stomach in an effort to be as close to her as possible. "How was your call?"
"It was alright, nothing too bad." He answered simply as he leaned back up. "What about you, how'd yours go?"
"It was alright, too." She repeated, feeling him continue to run his hand along her stomach while her eyes slowly opened, it taking her a few seconds to adjust to the winter sun filtering in through the blind before she turned her neck back to look at him. "Everyone was alright."
"Good, that's good." He replied with a small smile, Gabby matching his expression before his lips turned down after a moment, a thoughtful look covering his face before he continued on. "...Was she still there at the hospital?"
His words were simple, but held enough meaning for Dawson to know exactly what, or rather who, he was talking about, the way her own face fell giving him enough of an answer. "She wasn't, no… Lydia was discharged last night." She responded, Casey's eyes falling closed as he willed himself to take a deep breath. "I talked to one of the nurses, she said she left on her own… And medically, there was nothing wrong, so they let her. So I guess she and Tyler went home." She finished, the defeated edge to her voice not going unnoticed by Casey as he lightly stroked his thumb over her stomach. "And part of me isn't even surprised, but I just…"
"It's hard, I know." He finished for her, Gabby taking a slow breath before she nodded. "I know you want to help her, but if she's not ready for help, there's nothing you can do." He reminded her, their eyes focused on one another as he gave her a strong nod, hoping she'd believe what he was saying.
Though he had the feeling it wouldn't be that easy, as he knew Gabby, and he knew how hard something like this could be.
"...I just hope she gets out." She breathed out after a moment, Matt's eyebrows furrowing slightly as she turned her body more towards him, Gabby reaching out to hold onto his forearm. "When she's ready, I hope she can get away from him." She explained as he lifted his free hand up towards her head, Matt cradling the side of her face as he just hoped his presence could be at least a small bit of comfort.
"Me too." He echoed, Gabby taking another deep breath before she gave him a nod, his hand rubbing gently along the side of her face while they sat in silence for a moment, the weight of their conversation still hanging around them as they knew this wasn't anything they'd be forgetting anytime soon. Especially with the next words that came out of Gabby's mouth.
"Do you, uh… do you mind if we make a quick stop before we go to Adrian's?" She requested, Matt's head tilting to the side slightly in question. "I think we have enough time before my appointment, and I'd like to talk to Antonio… to at least see if there's anything he can do to help her."
Her words caught him off guard for a moment, but he soon snapped out of it as he knew he shouldn't have been surprised by this. Not with how close to home this entire thing was for the both of them, Matt ultimately giving her a nod while he brushed a few loose strands of hair back from her face.
"Of course we can go." He told her, Gabby's body relaxing for a moment before she nodded at him, the woman whispering back a soft 'thank you' before she started to get up off his bunk, the couple beginning to gather their things so they could get out of the firehouse and over towards the district, both of them hoping there'd be something they could do for this woman.
Casey and Dawson climbed the tall steps up to Intelligence as they'd just gone through the gate, Platt having let them through without incident as Antonio must've called down to let her know they were coming. Though Gabby assumed it wouldn't have been a problem, as not only did the older woman seem to have a soft spot for her, she had one for Casey as well, Platt probably as friendly as Dawson had ever seen when they came through the door.
Drawing in a deep breath, Gabby and Matt continued up the stairs, the thick coats covering their bodies making them both a little warm while they moved, as her brother and his coworkers slowly started to come into view.
The room was pretty calm, all things considered, as none of the cops seemed to be in any sort of hurry. And for that, Gabby was thankful, as the last thing she wanted was to distract Antonio from his work if they were in the middle of some case. But from their demeanor alone, they didn't seem to be, as Gabby started walking towards her brother's desk, with Matt following close behind her.
"Hey Dawson... Casey." Jay greeted them as he was the first to see them, the couple smiling softly towards him just as Antonio looked up.
"Hey sis."
Matt's eyes moved over to Antonio the second he spoke up, the soft smile on the firefighter's face soon being replaced with a look of uncertainty, as he couldn't help but notice the brother's strange demeanor. Casey wasn't able to put his finger on it, but the detective almost looked nervous now that Gabby was here; and Matt couldn't understand why.
"Hi guys." The younger Dawson greeted the room, Casey's eyes lingering on Antonio for a few more seconds, the man locking gazes with him unintentionally before soon looking away, his actions only confusing Matt further while the rest of them began to greet him and Gabby back.
"Hey Dawson, it's good to see you guys." Kevin spoke up, the rest of the room echoing similar words as all of them watched him and Gabby move towards her brother's desk, Matt's focus shifting from Antonio to the rest of the unit as his eyes moved around the room.
They were all acting friendly, which is something he certainly appreciated as it had been a while since Gabby had seen them; in fact Matt was sure they hadn't seen him or Gabby since that day with Bryan, and coming in here, Casey wasn't sure how they'd act around her. It was no secret that they knew more than most about the details of what happened, and with that knowledge, it was easy to start treating Gabby differently, even if they didn't mean to. But from what Casey could tell, they weren't, as even if they still held some concern for Gabby, they weren't showing it.
"How was work?" Antonio asked them as they got closer, Matt's attention returning to him while Gabby sat down in the vacant seat next to her brother. And when Casey looked back at him, he still couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong, as the way Antonio was watching Gabby with an unsure look in his eye was certainly unusual.
"It was alright." She answered weakly, her tone of voice causing the man's demeanor to shift as his curiosity started to outweigh whatever he'd been feeling before. "But, uh… we had this call."
"I'm guessing it involved this name you wanted me to run." He supplemented, Gabby nodding as she clasped her hands together in her lap, the woman knowing she hadn't given her brother much information as to what was going on. Aside from texting him before they left the firehouse, asking him to run Lydia's name, he knew nothing about what this was. And Gabby expected him to have questions.
"Yeah, it does." She answered, her eyes flashing towards his computer, even though she couldn't see the screen, before looking back at him. "Did you find anything?"
"Well, I wasn't really sure what I was looking for, but she has nothing on her, from what I can tell… No criminal history, or arrests or charges. Nothing like that. But when I pulled her medical records, like you asked, it was… odd." He began to explain, his eyes moving back to his computer screen before he began clicking through something.
"What do you mean, odd?" She asked, Antonio releasing a soft sigh before glancing back to his baby sister.
"She's been in and out of the hospital… a lot." He answered her, not missing the small grimace tugging on her lips. "Lots of ER visits, with broken bones and lacerations… Sometimes with a concussion, and the files said she had a lot of bruising, too, when she'd come. But there was never any follow up to any of it." He explained to Gabby, watching as she began to gnaw on her bottom lip. "I did see if one of her reports that she did talk to the cops, I guess after one of her worst visits, but from what I can tell nothing came of it."
"So she never reported anything?" She asked, Antonio shaking his head before he saw her start to visibly deflate.
"...What is this, Gabby?" He pushed after a moment, Gabby's eyes falling closed as her hand came up to her head, her fingers pressing against her temple as she was doing all she could to will away the headache forming behind her eyes.
"We, uh, we had a call yesterday, with this woman and her husband… And I'm pretty sure he's beating her." She answered him, Antonio's spine straightening instantly.
It wasn't that he was shocked as to it happening; he was a cop, and even with limited information, he knew cases like this were often linked to domestic abuse. But hearing his sister say it out loud had left a harsh feeling in his gut, Antonio glancing behind her to Matt, the two men locking eyes for a moment as a knowing look covered both their faces, as it was clear they were thinking the same thing.
"They were in a car accident, but Matt and I are pretty sure she crashed the car on purpose." She breathed out, shaking her head slightly before she continued on. "She had a cut on her face, one that couldn't have been from the accident. And handprint bruises around her neck," Gabby said, those last few words causing the older brother's entire body to tense up for a moment, as the memory of seeing those same marks on his sister entered his mind. "We got them separated, and I tried to help her. I tried to get her to talk to me, but she wouldn't say anything, to me or the nurses… All she said was that it was an accident. And then last night she left with him."
Antonio nodded slowly after a moment, his brain needing a few seconds to catch up with what was being told to him as he couldn't ignore the rush of dread filling his stomach, the man not only hating that this woman was going through this, but that Gabby had been the one to respond to the call. Especially so soon after what she'd gone through.
But he kept those feelings to himself as his little sister spoke up once more.
"And I know she's scared… I get it, it's terrifying, what she's going through," She spoke, her words slicing through both men as they knew her personal experience made this all the more real for her. "But I'm worried about her… That man, he- He's gonna hurt her again. And I'm afraid it'll be more than some bruises next time."
The older brother's eyes softened as she spoke, it becoming clear to everyone in the room how worried Gabby was about this woman. And none of them could blame her, given the circumstances.
"And I'm not even sure what you could go, except maybe go check on her? See if you can get her to talk to you." She suggested, Antonio breathing in deeply as his hand tapped against the edge of the desk. "Just… if you could do it when he's not there- When he's at work, or something. Because if he knows you're there, it'll only make it worse."
As soon as she finished speaking, she could tell her brother was hesitant, his worried eyes focused on her as she leaned forward in her seat slightly.
"Tonio, please." She spoke, her voice barely above a whisper as the man drew in a long, thoughtful breath.
"...Okay." He gave in, the older Dawson seeing the near immediate relief that set in over Gabby's face, before a small smile appeared.
"You will?"
"I will… I'll check it out, see if I can do anything to help." He promised her, Gabby's smile widening before she began to nod.
"Thank you, big brother." She spoke graciously, Antonio nodding back at her before his eyes flickered up towards Casey, seeing a similarly grateful look written across his face.
"You're welcome." He replied, before his mouth began to tighten just a bit, his attention zeroing in on Gabby as he spoke up. "But if I do that, you have to promise me you'll stay out of it… That you won't go looking for trouble, Gabby."
"Antonio-"
"Sis, I mean it." He spoke firmly. "I understand wanting to help her, and I'll do whatever I can, but if this guy is abusing her, I don't want you anywhere near him." He finished, his strong words helping to relieve a bit of that anxious feeling in Matt's gut, as he was glad him and Antonio were on the same page with this. That for as much as Casey wanted to help Lydia, he wasn't willing to risk anything happening to Gabby to do it.
"...I wasn't gonna do anything." She responded, Antonio pursing his lips together before he gave her a nod.
"Okay… Then I'll look into this, and see if I can get a chance to talk to her. Let her know there's people who want to help her."
"Thank you." She told him, Gabby standing up to press a soft kiss on his cheek, before she started moving back towards Matt. "Really, thank you Antonio."
"You don't need to thank me, sis… I just hope we can help her." He responded thoughtfully before he stood up as well, intending to walk them out. "Maybe now that she's had a chance to think, and she knows you want to help her, she'll be more willing to talk about it… Cause we can get her away from him, but we need her to take that first step to do it." He added on, as Matt tried to ignore how painstakingly similar this was to everything they'd gone through with Gabby, the man knowing he'd thought about that more than enough already. "She's gonna have to want help, sis… So I can't promise anything."
"I know." She responded, Antonio giving her another nod. "But still, I appreciate you doing this." She added on as they began to walk back downstairs, the older brother giving her a nod.
"Of course, Gabs. And I'll let you know after I talk to her, and what's going on."
The younger Dawson responded with a nod before they continued down the steps, the three of them relatively quiet as they made their way back through the gate and down to the first floor, the room buzzing the same as it had been when they first arrived.
"So, what else do you have going on today? Are you still seeing Adrian?" Antonio asked her, knowing that she had an appointment scheduled for later this morning. And truthfully, he was thankful for that, as the older brother knew it would help her to talk through all of this with her therapist.
"I am, yeah. Here in like an hour or so." She replied, her words earning a slight smile from him as the three stood in a small smile off to the side of the room.
"And it's still helping?" He asked before he could stop himself. But Gabby wasn't fazed by the question, the woman merely nodding before she responded.
"It is… I think it's helping me a lot."
"Good, that's good." He told her, the two siblings hugging quickly after he gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I hope today goes well, I'll talk to you later, alright?"
"Okay… And thanks again, Tonio." She murmured, Antonio nodding with a gentle smile before he shook Casey's hand, the family saying a few more quick goodbyes before Gabby and Matt began to head for the door.
But they only got a few steps before Gabby stopped them, the woman turning back around to face her brother as he had yet to move from his spot by the wall. "Oh, before I forget again, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?"
A look of confusion covered his face, like he wasn't sure what she was talking about. But as soon as it was there, it was gone, that unsureness being replaced by a blank look as the detective nearly froze for a split second.
And that's when Matt noticed it, that same uncertainty that Casey saw when they first got here. The look that Antonio couldn't hide the second he saw his sister, there it was again. And it was at that moment that Matt realized whatever this was about, it had nothing to do with Lydia at all, and everything to do with Gabby.
"Severide said you stopped by Molly's the other night, and wanted to talk, but Matt and I had already left." She continued on, Gabby taking a few steps back towards him as she waited for him to respond.
After talking with Kelly yesterday, she knew she needed to speak with her brother, but after that call with Lydia and all the stress that came with it, she'd completely forgotten about it until now.
"Oh, uh… it's nothing." He told her, Matt not believing a word that came out of his mouth, while Gabby was equally unsure. "We can talk about it later."
"You sure?" She pressed. "Kelly said it sounded urgent."
It was impossible for Dawson or Casey both to miss the way Antonio's body tensed slightly, his jaw clenching as whatever it was he wanted to speak with them about, it couldn't have been good. But the longer he went without saying anything, the more anxious Gabby started to become.
"Antonio…"
"We don't need to do this here." He spoke softly, his eyes moving around the busy lobby of the district while Gabby was completely focused on him.
"Just tell me, what is it?" Gabby pushed back, the older brother releasing a soft sigh when it became clear to him she wasn't going to let it go. Though, knowing his sister, the second it came up he knew then and there they were going to be having this conversation right now, as Gabby had never been the type to back down.
Without a word, Antonio nodded over towards the small waiting room off the lobby, before he headed in that direction, Gabby and Matt both following after him before they all went inside, the detective making sure to shut the door behind them as he effectively cut them off from everyone else.
"What's going on?" She asked with a near indignant look in her eye, Gabby crossing her arms over her chest as she stood opposite her brother, while Matt stayed close to her side. "Is something wrong?"
"No, nothing's wrong." He assured her, Gabby breathing in deeply before she nodded. "Well, not technically, but there is something you should know." Antonio started, his words no less confusing as both of them waited to hear what he had to say.
"...I heard from the prison the other day, and Walker wants to see you."
The room went deathly quiet, Gabby's face remaining blank as she gave him little to no reaction, Antonio and Matt both watching her closely. But she said nothing. She didn't speak, she didn't move, she didn't do anything, she just stood there, with an unreadable expression written across her face.
But for as hard to read as Gabby was right now, Casey was the exact opposite, as Antonio immediately saw the anger and rage filling his features, his body tightening almost painfully as the sheer thought of Bryan wanting to see her made him more infuriated than he could even put into words. That after everything that happened and all he put her through, Walker still had the audacity to ask to see her, again, Matt's hand beginning to tighten into a fist in order to keep himself calm.
"He's asked to see you, like he did the first time, and I wasn't sure how to tell you… But you deserve to know." Antonio continued on when Gabby had yet to give any sort of reaction. "I know last time this got all messed up, that Casey and I both messed up," He continued on, Matt not necessarily appreciating being called out right now. But at the same time, he knew Antonio was right; that this had all gotten screwed up last time, by him leaving Gabby in the dark about going to see Walker. And neither of them wanted that to happen again, as Casey was a bit glad that Antonio was being transparent with her now.
But that feeling didn't do much, if anything, to get rid of any of the anger flooding through his system, as Matt wished more than anything that Bryan would just leave her alone.
"So I wanted to make sure you knew now, but that's what I was wanting to talk to you about… Bryan has asked to see you. I don't know why, or what for, but he wants to talk to you."
It took a few moments, but Gabby slowly nodded, her face still unreadable as she took a slight step backwards, her body accidentally hitting into Casey's as he was much closer than she realized. But he didn't bother moving, the man instead reaching his hand out to rest over her back while his eyes stayed focused on Antonio.
"You don't know what he wants?" Casey repeated, Antonio shaking his head.
"I don't, he didn't say… I don't know why he's doing this again, or what he's hoping to gain from it, all I know is he wants to see Gabby."
"Yeah, well you think he would've gotten the message last time." Matt huffed out, Gabby finally looking up towards him only to see his face hardened in anger. "She pretty much told him she wanted nothing to do with him, and that she hates him, why is he even bothering?"
"I don't know." Antonio said once more, Casey forcing himself to take a deep breath before he looked down towards Gabby, seeing her gaze still focused on him.
But for the first time in a very long time, he couldn't tell what she was feeling. Her eyes gave away nothing, and that worried him. A lot.
"From what I know, he's only asked once… Not like last time, where he was constantly asking for her to come. But it's only been a few days, so that might change. But regardless, it doesn't matter, because you don't have to go anywhere near him, Gabby." Antonio told her, the gears in his head shifting as he couldn't help but feel protective over his baby sister. "Whatever he wants, it doesn't matter… He can't do anything, he can't get to you, you don't have to go see him. But I just wanted you to know."
Gabby nodded once more, her body leaning back into Matt's touch slightly as she thought over everything that had been said, her mind going in a million different directions while she did her best to process this, and how she felt about it.
But whatever was going on in there, it wasn't something she was going to tell either of them about, as Gabby simply nodded once more before she spoke up.
"Alright… Thank you for telling me." She responded, her voice hardly sounding like her own as she glanced down towards her watch. "We should probably get going, I don't want to be late for my session with Adrian." She spoke, Antonio's mouth opening slightly in surprise, as out of all the reactions he'd expected from her, this wasn't one of them. "And thank you again, for helping with Lydia."
"Yeah, of course, but- Gabby," He stopped her as she had started heading for the door, her lack of response alarming to both men in the room. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Antonio." She replied without much thought, the older Dawson's eyebrows furrowing slightly. "Really, I'm okay… Like I've told you, you don't have to worry about mentioning him around me, I don't care." She added on, Antonio's jaw tightening for a moment before he nodded.
"Baby, we know that, but this… It's not just talking about him, this is more than that." Casey replied gently, as he was trying his hardest to help her, even though he still couldn't tell where her head was at. He couldn't tell if her not wanting to talk about this was her shutting down, or if she truly just wasn't fazed by Bryan's request; Matt honestly had no idea. And it worried him.
"I understand that, but I'm okay." She reiterated. "Him wanting to see me again, it's… I don't know, alright? I don't know how it makes me feel, or what I'm gonna do, but just because I need some time to figure it out, that doesn't mean I'm not okay." She assured them, Matt and Antonio both hesitating for a moment before they nodded.
"Alright… I'm not trying to question you, sis, I just want you to be alright." Antonio reminded her, Gabby giving him a weak smile before she took another step towards the door.
"I know you do, but I'm good." She promised, her eyes flashing towards Matt for a moment before she spoke up. "We should probably get going, Matt."
"Yeah, okay." He replied softly, Gabby giving her brother one last glance before she walked out of the room, the woman disappearing around the corner as she was surely heading out of the district.
And Matt soon followed her, the man releasing a heavy sigh before he began moving towards the door.
"...Do you think she'll actually consider going?" Antonio questioned before he could get very far, Matt's steps coming to a halt before he turned around with an unsure look covering his face.
"I… I don't know, man." He breathed out, shaking his head slightly before he continued. "And I guess, selfishly, I hope she doesn't… I'm not even sure how going to see him could possibly help her, and that's not even factoring in what he actually wants to see her for." He told him, waiting for Antonio's slight nod in agreement. "A few weeks ago, I would've said no. That there was no way in hell she'd go and see him. I mean, we both saw her with him at that house… She wanted nothing to do with him, and he knows that. But now… now that she's actually dealing with all this and what he did to her, I'm not so sure what she'll do."
Antonio gave him another nod, the brother having the same concerns and fears that Casey did, as Matt took another step towards the lobby knowing that Gabby was waiting for him, his hesitation evident as he caught the detective's gaze once more.
"...You really don't know what he wants?" He questioned again, Antonio shaking his head as his arms crossed over his chest.
"I don't… And that's what worries me."
Adrian's eyes moved over his patient's face as he watched her sit across from him, Gabby having been quiet from nearly the moment she got here as her body was all the way up against the side of the couch, her foot tapping up and down almost anxiously while her head was facing down towards the ground, the therapist not missing how she was twiddling her fingers together in her lap. Overall, her appearance was somewhat alarming to him, given how they'd left things last time, and how then Gabby was arguably in the best place she'd been in since coming to see him.
But it was clear now things had changed. Or, at the very least, there was a lot weighing on her mind, heavy silence continuing to loom in the air around them while she refused to look his way, like she was too caught up in her own head to even realize they were supposed to be talking right now.
"...Everything okay?" Adrian finally asked after a painfully quiet few minutes, the sound of his voice causing her to lift her head just before he met her gaze. But the look in her eyes wasn't one he'd been expecting, as he saw what he could only describe as strong uncertainty shining back at him, the man not really understanding what was wrong. Though he had the feeling he was about to find out.
"Everything's fine." She answered after clearing her throat, the look on his face a dead giveaway as he clearly didn't really believe her. "Really, I'm fine, I'm just thinking." She tried again, Adrian nodding slowly as he leaned back against his seat.
"Is it anything you want to talk about?" He pushed, her eyebrows knitting together tightly before he lost her gaze yet again, Gabby's eyes moving back down to her lap while she thought over his question.
"It's, uh- it's a few things, I guess. A lot's happened in the last twenty four hours." She confided, Adrian nodding slowly as he waited for her to continue. "But, I guess the first thing would be this call we had yesterday… With this woman- Lydia."
"What happened?" He pressed after a moment of silence between the two of them, Dawson taking in another deep breath before she began to explain what all had been going on since they pulled up to that car accident yesterday.
From the moment they got there, to the marks on her, to Gabby trying her hardest to help her, as well as Lydia refusing that help; she walked him through the entire thing, Adrian staying quiet while he let her get all of this out in her own time.
"And then I just went and saw Antonio before I came here, he's gonna try and help her, too." She continued on, Adrian nodding once more as he saw the clear frustration wearing her down. "But she didn't want my help, so I'm not sure if she'll want his, either, but I just didn't know what else to do… I'm afraid something bad is gonna happen." She finished, Adrian pausing for a second before he spoke up.
"Do you know for sure her husband's abusing her?" He asked, Gabby biting down on the inside of her cheek as he watched her. "I'm not doubting you, or what you saw, but do you know for sure?"
"I don't, I guess… But I do." She told him, Gabby immediately shaking her head before looking down to her lap. "That doesn't- I can't explain it, but…"
"I get it." He answered her calmly, the woman breathing in deeply before glancing his way. "She hasn't verbally confirmed anything, but all the signs are there… Signs you'd recognize maybe a little easier than most people." He spoke carefully, a slight wince pulling on her face at the honesty of his words, even though she knew he was right.
"Yeah… I know what it looks like because I've seen it, and I've lived it. I've been where she is, too scared to trust anything or anyone. Too scared to come forward and say what's going on, scared that he'll do something and hurt me more. Scared that he'll lose it completely and kill me if I say a word to anyone about what he's done…" She spoke back just as honestly, her words somewhat hard for him to stomach. "I've had those same cuts, and those same damn handprint bruises around my own neck, I know this woman is being abused." She said forcefully, though her anger wasn't directed towards Adrian. "She's being abused, and all I want to do is help her. But I don't know how when she won't let me."
Her words settled in the air around them for a moment, Adrian giving her a chance to breathe after she'd gotten all of that off her chest.
"I'm not sure if it's so much her not wanting your help, as it is her not being ready for your help." He told her once the dust cleared, Gabby slowly meeting his eyes. "And that might be where she's at, that she doesn't feel ready to confront all of this head on… I know you know what that's like, Gabby." He reminded her gently, watching as her eyes fell closed before she slowly nodded.
"I know I do…"
"And because of that, I think you know, better than most people, that you can't force someone to get to a place where they're ready to accept help. Where they're ready to accept what's been happening to them, and do something about it… It's easy to be on the outside of it, and say she should've done this, or she should've done that- to think she should come forward sooner. But we both know it's not that simple… You know it's not that simple." He spoke slowly, hoping his words would resonate with her as this was a delicate situation.
"I know it's not, and I'm not trying to do that… I know how hard it is to be in this position, to constantly be pushing people away because you're scared. But because it's happened to me, that's why I want her to know she's not alone in this… I don't want her to feel like I did when I was with Bryan."
"I know you don't. And I know you just want to help her, but you can't force her to be ready for something like that… It took a long time for you to be able to confront what Bryan did to you, but you eventually got there, and I hope Lydia will, too." He told her, his soft voice bouncing around in her head as she fiddled with her hands in her lap. "...I imagine she's trying her best, just like you were."
His last sentence hit her harder than she expected, Gabby biting down harshly on her bottom lip as her foot started to tap against the ground once more, Adrian noticing the shift in her demeanor as it was apparent this wasn't the easiest of conversations for her.
And he would never expect it to be.
"...I know Lydia has been your main concern here, but I want to talk about you for a moment, Gabby." He started, his words regaining her attention. "How have you been, having to handle a case like this? One that's…"
"Like what I went through with Bryan?" She asked, the man across from her nodding with a soft look in his eyes.
"Yeah." He answered, Gabby having to nearly force herself to take a steadying breath before she spoke up.
"It's… I don't know. I mean, it's not easy. I can't lie and say that it is." She told him, Adrian nodding as she had his complete attention. "But I guess that part of it isn't bothering me as much as I think people are expecting it too… Obviously, what she's going through is a lot of what I went through, so there's moments where it's a little hard to separate it, but this call wasn't hard for me because of what Bryan did, it's hard because I know what she's feeling right now and I want to help her." She rattled out, the words leaving her lips quickly as her mind was racing. "And I don't- I don't think that makes any sense…"
"It does." He assured her, Gabby slowly meeting his eyes once more. "It makes perfect sense. Your past with Bryan is affecting you here, because you know what she's going through. You're not reliving your own trauma, but you want to help her because she understands that trauma."
Dawson nodded once more, the woman still sometimes a little thrown by how well he was able to understand what was going on in her head. "Yeah, that's basically what it is… Like, yeah, I know the similarities are there, I can't pretend they're not. But I'm trying not to see myself in her, because when it comes down to it, she's not me, and Tyler isn't Bryan… And what's happening to her isn't about me, it's about her. And helping her."
Adrian gave her a slight nod in response, his eyes glancing over towards the closed door for a moment before he looked back her way, Gabby still fidgeting in her seat as she waited for him to speak up. "Does Matt know about all this?" He questioned, Gabby swallowing thickly before she nodded.
"He does… He was there on the call with me, and we've talked a lot about it, about us and trying to help her." She answered him, her words pausing for a moment before she continued. "He's, uh… This whole thing hit him a little harder than it did me, at least where Bryan's concerned." She explained to him, Adrian merely nodding in response. "I guess it's harder for him to separate it… He sees Lydia, and thinks of me. Or how I used to be, and it hurts him."
"Well, I can't say I'm surprised to hear that… From what you've told me about how Matt feels, with all you've been through, it's not unusual for him to see you in Lydia. For him to connect the two of you." Adrian added, Gabby nodding slowly before she spoke up.
"I know, I just hate that it affects him… And I know it's not just me, I know it's what happened to his mom, too. And everything that comes with that… so yesterday was kind of rough on him. But he's feeling better today, we both are."
"I'm glad to hear that, Gabby… I know all of this is hard, but there's only so much you can control here. If Lydia comes to you, then of course you should help her, but until that happens, there's not much else you can do for her." He reminded her, just as Matt had earlier this morning, Gabby feeling his eyes on her as she took a few slow breaths.
"I know… I know you're right. I just hope Antonio can get through to her." She murmured, her words earning an understanding look from her therapist before he began to speak up.
"I hope he can, too. I hope she's alright… I hope she can get herself out of that situation, like you were able to." He told her, his words striking something in her before her head ducked down once more, the air around them shifting almost instantly as Adrian couldn't help but notice how she now couldn't seem to look him in the eye, and he didn't know what to make of it.
Her demeanor felt off from the moment she got here, but he had a feeling this was more than just what happened to Lydia. That there was more going on with her, something she wasn't telling him. And, whatever it was, it was affecting her.
And all he wanted to do was help her, if he could.
"Is there something else going on, Gabby?"
She didn't look up, at least not at first, the woman gnawing on her lip as she thought over what to say to him. "I know when you first got here you said there were a few things going on, but you seem a little… far away. Is everything alright?" He pressed, Gabby looking back towards him just as he finished his sentence.
"Everything's fine, I'm okay." She answered him with a weak look, though Adrian could tell there was more to the story. "It's just… Antonio told me something, when I went to see him this morning, and I haven't really had a chance to process it."
"Would you like to talk to me about it?" He offered, Gabby pausing for a moment before she nodded. "...What is it?"
"Bryan wants to see me." She blurted out harshly, Adrian's eyebrows raising as she could tell she'd shocked him. But he quickly recovered as he began to nod slowly.
"He wants to see you from prison?"
"Yeah, he does. He wants me to go see him." She answered, Adrian breathing in deeply as he himself tried to process this. "He's done this once before… wanted to see me while he was locked up, or whatever, before he got out last time. But I didn't go… Matt went, but I didn't." She informed him, seeing him clearly trying to take all of this in. "But he… he wants to see me. I don't know why, but Antonio says he wants to talk to me." She finished, seeing Adrian's face tightened in deep thought while he tried to figure out what to say to her.
"And how do you feel about that?" He asked her after a few seconds, Gabby's grip on her hands tightening before she shrugged.
"I… I don't know, honestly." She admitted to him, the man giving her an encouraging nod. "On one hand, I don't really care about whatever it is he wants to say. I want nothing to do with him, and I made that very clear to him… And I'm a little pissed off that he's even asking. But on the other hand, I-" She stopped herself, Gabby taking a breath to try and gather her thoughts.
But none ever came out.
"What is it?" He helped her, watching her purse her lips together before she ultimately spoke up.
"When I first found out, there was a part of me that felt like I should go… For a few reasons." She confided in him, his face staying neutral as he didn't want her to feel like she couldn't be honest with him. "It's like there's this voice in the back of my mind, telling me that if I don't do this, I'm letting him win."
"Gabby…"
"I mean, it's true, isn't it?" She cut him off, Adrian sighing softly before shaking his head. "At least a little bit… I keep talking about how much better I feel, how I've gotten past what he did and what happened, but if I avoid this… If I avoid him, all that means is that I haven't actually gotten past any of it. That I'm still letting him control me."
"No, it doesn't, Gabby." He spoke, his words firm but soft, as he needed her to believe what he was saying. "I swear to you, it doesn't mean that at all. You getting past what he did does not equate to going and sitting in the same room as your abuser." He told her bluntly, Gabby grimacing at the words. "You don't need to do this because you feel like you have to prove a point that you're okay, or that you have to prove yourself to anyone, because you don't. No one would think any less of you for not going to see the man who made your life hell… So if that's the only reason you feel like you should go, as your therapist and your friend, I'm telling you I don't think you should." He reasoned with her, Adrian being as honest as he possibly could, as he knew this wasn't the time to beat around the bush.
This was a big thing, Gabby going to see him, and if she was going to even consider doing this, he didn't want her doing it for the wrong reasons. Because she was the one who would end up getting hurt, and that was the last thing he wanted.
"I guess you're right…" She eventually spoke up, Adrian watching her closely. "But that, it's not the only reason… It's part of it, and I know it shouldn't be, but it is. But that's not all of it."
"Then what is it?" He asked softly, Gabby's eyes closing for a moment as she processed his words, Adrian's head tilting to the side as a thought entered his mind. "...Do you want to go see him?" He pressed, his voice holding no judgement.
"Want's a strong word." She replied quickly, Adrian waiting for her to continue on. "But it's… I just can't help but feel like maybe- I don't know, that maybe I need to do this." She stuttered out, her eyes closing for a moment as she did what she could to gather her thoughts, the words nearly leaving a bad taste in her mouth as they left her lips. "And I don't even know why, because for the longest time all I wanted was to be as far away from him as I possibly could. And I still don't feel safe around him, I never could... I don't want to see him, but this, I- I can't explain it, but I feel like maybe, if I go, it'll help let me put this behind me once and for all." She breathed out quickly, Adrian's face softening before he slowly nodded. "...I know I've made a lot of progress in getting past this, but maybe this is what I need to finally let the rest of it go."
"Okay…"
"But I still don't even know what I'm gonna do, this all just- it came out of nowhere, and I still need to think about it." She told him.
"Of course, yeah… This isn't anything you have to decide right now. It's a big deal, so you should think on it… Talk to Matt," He suggested, as he knew how much Gabby valued Casey's opinion. "Or your parents, or me… Whoever. I just want to make sure you're doing this for the right reasons." He said, Gabby meeting his gaze. "If you decide to do this, to give yourself some final closure with what happened, that's one thing. But it needs to be for you, Gabby… not for him."
She stayed quiet for a moment, Gabby giving herself the chance to really hear what he was saying, his words moving through her head as she knew he had a good point.
No matter what she was feeling at this moment, he was right. If she chose to do this, it had to be for her. She couldn't do this because she felt like she should, or to try and prove herself to the man that hurt her. She had to do this for herself, and no one else.
Now she just had to decide what she was going to do.
And there's another one. Hopefully you all enjoyed it! Although I have a good feeling I know what some of the reaction is going to be to Bryan coming up again, and I get it, I do, but all I want to say is just please bear with me. He's coming back up for a reason, and it won't take too long for us to get to it. But still, I hope you all liked this one.
As always, thank you all so much for reading. I hope you have a great rest of the week! I'll see you next time.