Hey everyone! This story was brought to you by Survival Studies: Surviving the Apocalypse assignment Task 1 - Write about being figuratively 'thirsty' for someone. Tie-Dye T-Shirts Purple (characters) Harry Potter. Warning for innuendos. Word count is 748 words. I hope you all enjoy The Thirsty House-Elf Tweet. I would also like to point out that I don't own any Harry Potter characters or Twitter.
"Do you have the Tweeter?" Ron asked, barging into Harry's livingroom without even knocking on the floor. "You have to the Tweeter."
"Tweeter?" Harry asked confused, looking at Ron like he'd lost his mind or something like that. "What do you mean?"
"Tweeter!" Ron gave Harry a pointed look. "The app on Muggle phones and computers where you can type something in for famous people and they'll see it on the interweb. Tweeter!"
Harry's eyes widened in recognition. He'd recently gotten Twitter for himself for the first time after not being allowed it when he was younger. No one in the Muggle world knew who he was though so he wasn't hounded the same way he was in the wizarding world which he was thankful for.
"You mean Twitter, Ron," Harry said in way of correcting his best friend. "Tweeter isn't a thing at all."
"That is where you are wrong." Ron had the air of someone who was about to fight for something Harry disagreed. "Tweeter is a thing. It's based on the Muggle Twitter but for the Wizarding world."
"You came out with a Wizarding version of Twitter?" Harry felt like this was shaping out to not be his day. "Why would you do that?"
"Me and Hermione," Ron said in a correction to his friend's statement. "Hermione thought that it would be interesting to see how the Wizarding world views Twitter but didn't want to call it Twitter. So I suggested calling it Tweeter."
"You just changed a couple of the letters around. That's still copyright infringement and I'm surprised that Hermione let you get away with it."
"Me too!" Ron chose to ignore the whole copyright whatever thing that Harry was talking about. That couldn't come back to bite him, right? "We made one up for each of, by the way. Do you want to check yours?"
"You made a Tweeter account for me?" Harry said, hoping that Ron was just joking. His hopes were dashed when Ron pulled out his phone closing off his own Tweeter account and pulling up one that had Harry's name on it. "When did you have time to make me a Tweeter account?"
"After Hermione and I made our own," said Ron, scrolling through the feed. "See people are saying about you, mate." Ron silently read a few before his ears went a vivid red and tried to look at anything but the phone.
"What is it, Ron?" Harry asked, wondering how bad the comment could have been to elicit that kind of reaction from Ron he took the phone and looked. He could feel the heat coloring his own cheeks at what the message had said.
A girl whose username was PansyLabryinth with a snake emoji at the end had made it. Harry Potter is so good at Quidditch. Perhaps he can show me how to handle his broom.
"That's not so bad, Ron," Harry said, wondering how long Pansy Parkinson had been harboring these thoughts about him.
"That's not the one I was looking at," Ron said, scrolling down farther.
Harry took the phone again. Someone with the username of SnakeLover1980 had left another comment. Harry read over that one too. Potter, boxers, briefs, or commando. Please reply. Harry raised his eyebrows at the screen. That was what people did with their time. Try to figure out what kind of undergarment he wore.
"Why does Draco Malfoy care what type of undergarments I wear?" Harry asked, typing back the same question he'd asked in reply.
"That's disturbing true but that's not the message I was looking at," Ron said, scrolling to the one he wished he could stop looking at.
This message was from someone with the Tweeter handle of HarryPotter'sbabygurl. The message was pure unadulterated smut at best. It read as follows: Will Harry Potter, please send pictures of his Philosopher's Stones? Waiting impatiently. Followed by a picture of something that Harry wished more than anything he could unsee.
"Is that Dobby?" Hermione asked, looking over Harry and Ron's shoulder. "That's odd though. He sent me the same request. Did he send you one too, Ronald?"
"I don't know," Ron said, taking the phone and going back onto his own Tweeter page. A few minutes later his ears were beet red again.
"Maybe you should have put regulations on what you can send through Tweeter, Ron, Hermione," Harry suggested. "That way no one has to worry about getting any more messages from a thirsty house-elf."
I hope you all enjoyed The Thirsty House-Elf Tweet as much as I enjoyed writing it.