A/N: OMFG, I'm so sorry! I just realized it's been almost 2 years since I've updated this story! Holy crap, I'm sorry. Life is crazy, and being a healthcare worker, COVID has been rough to deal with... Anyway, see the first chapter for the disclaimer. I hope you guys enjoy this one, and please review!

Chapter Four: I Would Shout

Jay had stopped counting the days he'd been sitting there, most of which he'd spent awake. Unable to sleep for fear that his brother would slip away if he wasn't watching. Not that he would ever say that…

Ruzek had brought him some clothes, and the staff directed him on where he could get cleaned up and changed. Everyone kept offering him food, but he wouldn't do more than pick at it. A few bites here, a few bites there. Some water. Just enough to make sure he stayed alive.

Upton kept trying to lecture him about needing to take care of himself. You're no good to him if you don't, she'd say. And he'd tell her that he was okay, he was sleeping and eating, that he was fine.

She knew better, though.

She made sure the staff brought in food for Jay, just to encourage him to eat. Something that Jay had figured out within a few minutes. But, he couldn't get too upset. She was just looking out for him…

The monitors were the only sound in the room, which was how he knew that his brother was sitting still, not moving or speaking. Internally, he frowned, knowing that Jay had been there for a while, and Will wasn't even able to offer him anything. He still couldn't move anywhere, the ventilator was still breathing for him, and he was still medicated to the extent that he was in and out.

What he wouldn't give to just be allowed to say something… to let Jay know that he was still there, still with him, and not going anywhere… Anything to offer any little bit of comfort to his brother, who wouldn't accept anything from anyone else.

Will just hoped Jay would open up at some point. Truth be told, his heart ached for his younger brother's pain. Pain that he caused by trying to be a hero. And after everything with their father last year… this was the last thing his little brother needed.

Jay didn't move an inch as Voight made his way into the room, choosing to just maintain his position at his brother's side. Voight moved to stand behind Jay, putting his hand on the younger man's shoulder.

"You need to eat," Voight told him.

Jay scoffed softly. "Upton get to you too?" he asked.

"She's worried about you."

"I'm fine."

"No, you're not."

Jay turned his head away from Will to look at Voight.

Voight stared back at him, not saying another word.

Jay shook his head, looking back at his brother.

Voight squeezed Jay's shoulder lightly.

Jay closed his eyes as the first of the tears began to fall. He kept his head facing his brother, knowing Will wasn't aware of his silent tears.

Voight, however, was, and squeezed Jay's shoulder a little tighter.

"Dr. Rhodes says he's getting better," Jay said softly.

"Good," Voight replied.

"I just… I can't lose him too." And with that statement, the walls cracked, and the tears flowed freely.

Voight said nothing, simply holding Jay's shoulder.

About time, Will thought to himself. If he were in Jay's place, he would've lost it long before now, and had reached out for support. But, in a lot of ways, Jay always had been the stronger of the two. Jay was able to be there as their mother slipped away, Will being too caught up in his own world to be much support to anyone other than himself.

And even then… Will often found himself trying to save people that, for all intents and purposes, couldn't be saved. It was his main reason for going into emergency medicine. After, of course, doing some plastic surgery…

But, as Will knew well, everyone had their breaking point.

He had found his after he ended up charged with battery. Finally realizing that his paternalistic medical actions have consequences, and shifting his thinking into patient's right to choose. There were times he would still have to make an executive decision in the absence of another power of attorney, but those were few and far between, and completed with the help of the ethics committee at the hospital.

Futility became another word he understood. Like, knowing that you're only being kept in sedation to prevent you from feeling pain. It was futile. The pain was there, no matter what. Will didn't feel it, but he knew it was lurking. And it wasn't going to go away any time soon…

Though, he did notice the sedation was lessening…

Jay sniffed the remaining tears. "Sorry," he whispered.

"No need to apologize," Voight reminded him.

Jay shook his head, opting not to say anything.

Voight didn't say anything either.